Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by klusterfunk
Joined: Jan 17, 2010
Last Post: Feb 26, 2010
Threads: 6
Posts: 21  

From: India

Displayed posts: 27
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
klusterfunk   
Feb 26, 2010
Undergraduate / Psychology Undergrad: Work Experience as Laser tech [4]

Thanks for your suggestion, Faisal. I understand what you mean.

Is the below more effective?

I learnt a lot, from the best. It gave me a chance to learn about things I had zero experience of, and opened my mind to the idea that a diverse, organic, dynamic learning experience is sometimes better than a one track, one subject, one dimensional approach to get the job done.
klusterfunk   
Feb 24, 2010
Undergraduate / Psychology Undergrad: Work Experience as Laser tech [4]

ESSAY #2: In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.

________________________

I have worked at a bookstore, a computer security firm, a laser company and independently as a computer technician. There is no doubt in my mind that being a laser technician was the most fulfilling job I have ever held.

The job consisted of setting up lasers for concerts, corporate events and other public and private functions.

Like most other kids from the 80's, I had an almost mystical fascination with lasers. Beautiful beams of powerful light, that could blind you in an instant or bind you under the spell of intensity. And here was a company willing to let ME manhandle lasers THOUSANDS of times more powerful (and expensive) than I had dreamed of playing with as a child. So powerful, infact , that we would sometimes use the lasers to light our cigarettes (thereby, as the joke at work went, using the world's most expensive cigarette lighters).

It was physically challenging work, hauling 150 pound power supplies, water coolers, hoses, and laser heads up and down flights of stairs and scaffolding. I loved the intense exercise, everyday left me sweaty, dirty and enthusiastically looking forward to the next day at work.

It was mentally challenging: after all the hauling, one needed to be aware of concepts of plumbing, electrical systems, electronics, computer programming, AND optics! A phenomenal cocktail of appreciable power could be unleashed if one was informed in those fields. If there was a slip-up, the penalty would cost the company thousands of dollars. There was intense pressure for perfectionism, which I wholeheartedly embraced. I learnt to appreciate taking a set of tasks, like a show, from beginning to end using smooth, elegant solutions that made life easier and safer.

I learnt so much. I learnt how to hook up pumps, set up plumbing on a large scale on short time frames, how to fix problems with power supplies, how to program laser projectors, how to tune mirror alignments, how to roll a hose, electronics assembly/soldering...

I learnt a lot, from the best; the oldest entertainment laser company in the world. I had a great time with them.
klusterfunk   
Feb 23, 2010
Undergraduate / Oberlin Supplement: Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass... [6]

Randyhl, that's quite the analogy, dancing in the rain... very effective, and suits your situation will in my eyes.

I thought the essay was well-composed and very effective. Few grammar/compositional corrections:

...the famous saying, "L ife is not about...

I just told myself, "D ance in the rain Randy, find your niche... "

Oberlin's unique and diverse academic and social environment helped me to see dancing in the rain is not always the best way to live a fulfilling life.

Regarding the above sentence, did Oberlin show you that, or did Cal Poly? In my view Oberlin showed you the sun, showed you an option, a way out.

But hey, mostly nitpicks here an there. Cool essay. It got me interested in Oberlin.
klusterfunk   
Feb 22, 2010
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL essay] Teachers should update their knowledge every 5years. [7]

Hi.

Some grammar mistakes, and I found the structure not quite as solid as it could be.

For starters, I would suggest placing the first and second sentences somewhere later in the essay, and start with the third sentence.

When people read school texts, the books sometimes feel generic . This includes teaching styles of teachers .

These days, some people insist that ist eachers should update their knowledge every five years, b ecause change is the only constant for everything, including education . However, another people say that when teaching methods change , it gives rise to chaos for teachers and students alike . It is due to the fact that they restructure their study materialon every five years. A lso, students feel burden.

But, I think that Teachers should update their knowledge every five years because:

First of all, it is an old Korean saying that 'If one waited 10 years, the mountain's changes would be apparent.' Many people agree that our knowledge pool changes quickly . As a results, teachers instruct students using redundant teaching material . Another people insist it. But, we have a lot of unsolving mystery.

It needs time to unravel the mysteries of the universe . To illustrate, Astronomy makes a good example. In the past, people thought that Jupiter was two planetsb ecause of it's different colors at morning and night. After some period people realized it was the same planet. When this fact came to light teachers should have been alerted.

Second, teens do not change their thinking to conform with the past. Nowadays, it is apparent that children mature unnaturally quickly . For example, revealing clothing is often used by teens. When I talk my cousin, he always speaks in confusing slang . It makes me confusing . A main issue stemming from this is that sex education needs to be provided for our teens. This implies that our teachers need to be updated on their methods to evolve with changing times . Through this fact, we can know that teachers' knowledge need to updating for teens.

In conclusion, these days everything changes relative to the past Also,,including information . When time goes by , astronomy or some other mysterious story changes to reflect the present . Therefore, I firmly insist that teachers' knowledge need to be updated every 5 years.
klusterfunk   
Feb 22, 2010
Undergraduate / My short reply on activities for the common app - my work as electrician [3]

Nice essay, Argit.

Very personal, and effective.

I am weary , sleepy, I smell like sweat and my stomach has announced strike. Even then (or a similar bridge "But still,") , a satisfied smile stretches upon my face. After only two weeks of technical training, I managed to build an entire electric system by myself. My boss was impressed. The room was ready for use: the lighting was perfect, the keys were shining. At 8 AM I was already with wires in my hand. Always under control. Discipline, energy, endless endurance - abilities I strengthened since the first weeks of my job as an electrician's assistant. Six months of commitment. And exactly during that time, I really understood what working means, and why all people work. I watch the green, parched paper inside my wallet. Earned money, meritorious reward. I feel proud. My pocket is full. So are my brains. (This last line is a little funny. I think it works!)
klusterfunk   
Feb 22, 2010
Writing Feedback / Reasons-winners are be motivated by money & fame, what impacts on youth & itself [3]

hi Cathy!

Very well-written essay. I found myself nodding at some of your arguments!

Sorry for the bad formatting, still getting used to it...

Small grammar/composition suggestions:

As the rapid development of economic development...

Due to rapid economic development...

...as the accompanying opportunity to be famous...

...not only changes the values of younger generations ...

There is no lack of evidences to prove that the values change of for the whole of society...

It is not uncommon these days to see excellent scientists who make enormous contributions, the sporting champions who win medals, even singers who perform on stage, being rewarded with large sums of money.

Not to mention that a 7 year old child (all 7 year olds are children, by definition) asks for cash from his parents for a high test scores in school.

...this attitude to sport will pose a threat to it's evolutionof sporting cause in the long run.

There's no denying that it will stimulate...

... the disadvantages hidden in its backit's drawbacks should not be neglected.

First of all, it will damage the sporting causecould corrupt the institution of sport in a country.

...so that he/she does not need and do or want to earn money any more, will he or she give up participating the sports competitionin sports entirely ?

No matter which motivation they harbour, only if they are only motivated by prize money or to be a celebrity, the ultimate results are the one we do not expect to seewould be disappointin g.

ToIn conclusion, it is time to change the current over-materialized valuematerialistic attitudes , including the individuals' values onof money and celebrity. O nly in this way, will it be possible for our society to create a healthy and harmonious atmosphere for ourselves and the youngfuture generations.

Very minor mistakes, mostly! But when there are many of them, it might cause a bad impression.
klusterfunk   
Feb 22, 2010
Writing Feedback / Anti-social behavior, lack of respect to others -help me make some improvement [5]

Hua Ye,

That was a fantastic essay. Very straight-forward, and very to the point.

Some minor grammatical quibbles:

There ought to be a space between a period and the first letter of the next sentence in a paragraph.

...phenomenon - the negative...

Families and schools also play equally important roles ...

... effects on the society as a whole...

Keep up the good work! : )
klusterfunk   
Feb 22, 2010
Undergraduate / University of Illinois, Psychology undergrad: Academic Interests and Prof. Goals [6]

ESSAY #1: In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your academic interests and/or professional goals.

Word count: 367 (Can we trim some fat?)

_______________________________________________________________________

When I was 4 years old, my parents gave me the best gift they could possibly give a child: the gift of literacy. It opened new corridors of knowledge and provided new avenues of enlightenment. I began to develop an appetite for learning that would stay with me for the rest of my life.

By the time I reached 7 years of age, I started to dip into her library of second-hand books. It was fascinating to trawl through concepts presented in anatomy textbooks, or studying topics like psychology and Greek philosophy. I feel privileged to have access to so much relevant reading material at that age, even if most of it went over my head.

The community of displaced Indians I lived with presented numerous examples for the different neuroses and psychoses I read about. Even though I could hardly decipher the abstract ideas of lifetimes of depression, guilt, complexes, and other rudimentary psychological disorders, they (the community) played out ideal case studies that I could correlate with symptoms presented in the books from my mother's library.

My teenage years and their inevitable hormonal effects presented more material to look up. At this point, I was able to structure the knowledge coming in, even if I did not understand it fully. Adolescence has good times and hard times, but times were always interesting. Around that time, I made up my mind: psychology would be a viable profession for my future.

As I simmered out of adolescence, I started putting more thought into thinking. I started playing ruminative games with a strong psychological side, like chess and pool. This got me interested in cognitive psychology, and I decided that would form the basis of my professional education. I started looking to transfer to a college with a good cognitive psychology program, and found the University of Illinois at Urbana Champagne.

The syllabus is well designed, with multiple courses available dealing with cognition on different levels. I was especially glad to see the lab courses available, with a strong cognitive foundation. I feel confident that gaining admission to UI would take me considerably further toward realizing my goal to make a profession out of my interest.
klusterfunk   
Feb 22, 2010
Undergraduate / U of T-Victoria College-successful undergraduate experience [4]

hi hqm!

Your essay definitely communicates passion for the college's library, and a strong will to learn! Both excellent parameters to exhibit to the reviewers.

However, I have a feeling that you may need to think carefully about the prompt and try a few more versions.

The prompt was not addressed elaborately enough, and there are a few grammar and compositional mistakes. What is your vision? How will Victoria College contribute?

I am not sure if it's a good idea to shorten the names of colleges and universities at first mention. It might be better to use Victoria College instead of "Vic".

This whole first sentence needs to be rephrased; it does not communicate anything to the reader, except that you are attracted to the college.

"after entering a college"? If you refer to the importance of college, it is wise to refer to the importance of the college you are applying to.

EJ Pratt may be a wonderful library, but there is not enough information included about WHY it aroused your passion... I am sure every applicant seeks knowledge, research on your own initiative can be done anywhere... why EJ Pratt's?

"However, besides academic, I also anticipate my college life to be more fascinating." seems quite out of place, sandwiched between your praise of EJ Pratt Library and Victoria College's good humanities dept. It needs to be relocated or removed. It would be better placed after the 'strength in humanities' line.

Word of caution: academics is a LARGE part of college life. If you meant extracurricular activities, or something of that nature, it's better to detail that.

"...and to get involved with the culturally diverse community."

"Vic is a hot choice." Too short, it definitely needs some retooling. Flesh it out, detail why you find it hot. Not the best pick-up line, especially not for an educational institution.

The last line is interesting, but also suffers from bad placing and phrasing.

A good attempt; try different version of essays and see if that brings out your passionate interest in the college.

Is there a word limit?
klusterfunk   
Feb 1, 2010
Undergraduate / Psychology? U of Colorado, Boulder: Optional Personal Essay [2]

Prompt:
Feel free to include additional comments that would be useful in the evaluation process. Include information such as your educational aspirations, travel and work experience, creative talents, factors affecting your academic record, and any other information that might be of use and interest to the admission committees.

_________

"Psychology? Why would you want to study that? Are you psycho/crazy? Do you have a screw loose? A nut for a brain?"

That's a sample of the responses I received time and again from my parents, peers and teachers when I was in school in Bahrain.

There appeared to be a lack of exposure to the study of mind and emotion, which caused a certain hostility towards the science of psychology. It was amusing to observe them playing near-perfect renditions of the case studies I loved to read, while they simultaneously disparaged the science.

Lack of sufficient funding added to the already negative atmosphere at school, and I decided forge my own path to knowledge after the tenth grade. I developed on my knowledge of science, math and computers, while feeding my appetite for psychology on the side.

When I turned 18 and wanted to go to college, my parents were firmly against psychology, preferring instead that I study computer science, a subject I had shown some aptitude for as a child. It was clear that my dependence on them was affecting my future, so I decided the time had come to part ways and stand on my own feet.

I moved to India to work with a company that sold antiviruses and computer security services, and was able to afford old psychology textbooks on the secondhand market. This fuelled my desire to learn, because there was a lot of outdated information from older generations of knowledge and I found it engaging to see the contrasts; the shifts in ideologies, philosophies and thoughts in different schools of psychology. My desire to take my knowledge of the subject to a professional level grew, and I started looking for ways to join a college. But India unfortunately did not have an adult education program in place to help me get my high school credentials. I also found the psychology programs in India to be very arts-oriented, where the subject was treated more like literature or history than a fresh and growing science.

At the age of 26, I moved to Florida and decided to take advantage of the adult education system they have in place. I was able to get my GED and enrolled myself in the local college. I was impressed with the quality of teachers they had on offer. They were passionate, knowledgeable people, experts in their respective fields. This atmosphere rejuvenated my curiosity and will to learn, and clearly reflected in my grades. Since the college only offered an Associate's degree in psychology, I began looking for good undergraduate programs in psychology.

That's when I came across the University of Colorado at Boulder. With a wonderful location, well-equipped facilities, labs and an atmosphere that encourages research in some very intriguing aspects of the subject, I have no doubt that I will be able to maintain a mutually beneficial relationship with UC at Boulder.

Another aspect of UC that I found attractive is the research options available to undergraduate students, like assistantships and honors programs, which I hope to take full advantage of.

What would UC gain from admitting me?

I am a devoted student with a strong appetite for knowledge, with academic and extra-curricular flair. Thus far, I have been able to maintain a good academic record while engaging in rewarding extracurricular activities on the side, like playing the violin, guitar and a few other instruments. I took an active role in student organizations involved in debates of social relevance, and will continue to do so if admitted.

_____________________

No word limits for this one... as usual, I tried not to make it too wordy, but probably failed.

Let me know if you spot any shorteners! Does it come across as too plastic toward the end?

This essay is strictly optional, so I am a little confused as to how it will be relevant to my app. Guess it's just to account for gaps in education and what not... right?

Thanks all!
klusterfunk   
Feb 1, 2010
Undergraduate / College Rap on "Perseverance " for UVA, Lemme know what you think? [7]

Very nice! I could really feel the flow, and the structure ties to a rhythm very nicely.

It's a little materialist to me, and the expressed idea of alum speeches before even getting in turned me off, but I think that's more a difference of philosophy... how I get mine, how he don't get his... know what I mean?

I like the concept though. The reviewers will find it entertaining and unique for sure!

Have you seen other raps going in for applications before?
klusterfunk   
Feb 1, 2010
Undergraduate / the Korean community, true hero: common application inspiration [4]

I really liked your essay, your respect and admiration for your mother is apparent to say the least.

I think the super-reference is used too many times in the first paragraph, though... It might also be a good idea to shorten/condense the cartoon section, where you talk about superheros and the smurfs and scooby and captain planet.

Also, the line 'I have always looked up to her...' is unnecessary imo... I would take that out, too. I find that most impressive essays I read generally don't address the prompt directly. Like 'my goal is to' and 'my inspiration is'... It's not written in stone, but I think it helps to be more subtle for a deeper hook.

You don't need to use the word 'basically' before 'nothing' (Indians like me do that a lot... do Koreans?).

I think the 3rd paragraph was very well written, especially your description of the stereotype and it's subscribers.

It sounded odd to read 'It's not everyday you find a person that has both inspired and impacted you...' It seems to me that inspiration is impact, so it sounds redundant.

But, apart from those minor quibbles, well done! And good luck! : )
klusterfunk   
Jan 22, 2010
Undergraduate / UM, Book that has made impact on you: Victor Wooten (The Music Lesson) [16]

Thanks for the link, Yang!

However, I did notice a contradictory note in brackets on the second definition: (used to represent a person or animal understood, previously mentioned, or about to be mentioned whose gender is unknown or disregarded).

Since the gender of a baby is unknown or disregarded, I thought the word 'it' might be more relevant.
klusterfunk   
Jan 20, 2010
Undergraduate / UM, Book that has made impact on you: Victor Wooten (The Music Lesson) [16]

Hi Yang, thank you for your advice. I found some of your tips very useful. Although I could not find a grammar rule anywhere stating that one must not use 'it' for gender-unspecific objects (or persons).

It's a question I've wanted answered for years so if you have a clue, let me in on it.

Any more feedback guys? Sorry it's so long, but I'd like more input!

Thanks!
klusterfunk   
Jan 20, 2010
Undergraduate / UM, Book that has made impact on you: Victor Wooten (The Music Lesson) [16]

Tell us about a book you have read that you found especially challenging, stimulating, or provocative. Explain why it made an impact on you.

"Never lose the groove in order to find a note."
- Victor Wooten (The Music Lesson)


In 1997, I was on vacation, sitting on my couch and flipping through channels, when I happened to watch a video of a bassist... he was playing to a familiar Christian tune, and he seemed pretty skilled, but to my immature ears (at 15, I was very much a rebel, in spirit as well as taste), it wasn't worth listening to more than 15 seconds. Unconsciously, I blocked the ingenuity in his playing from my aural receptors and switched to a random channel.

A decade later, around 2008, a friend gave me his bass guitar, and I started to practice. I was lucky to have a plethora of resources on the internet: videos, articles, books, websites, and forums. Cyberspace seemed to have it all. I practiced regularly, developing an appreciation for the nuances of the instrument and its players. Tone, articulation, dynamics, timing, scales... there were innumerable parts of a performance to learn from, to appreciate.

But ever so often, I would find myself obsessing over things that in retrospect now seem relatively trivial. I started practicing scales religiously, chord patterns, and esoteric lines from Eastern music that sounded important. I came to believe that the best thing I could for myself as an aspiring musician was to have as many scales and chords memorized as possible. Little did I realize that there was more to the game than what notes you had to play with.

I saw him playing the same song again, his interpretation of "Amazing Grace". Immediately, I was locked into the spirit of that song. His expertise with the instrument blew me away. I looked into more of his playing, his books... I had to learn something from this man; if not his musicality, something about his way of life. Clearly there was something special, something unique about this human being.

The Music Lesson is Victor Wooten's first book that is not strictly instructional. It contains a series of semi-fictional encounters between him and a character named Michael. It also describes his learning process in a 'parable' -like form, relating how he too had an approach toward music that was tainted, colored rather, by his own ignorance and presumptions of what it meant to be a musician.

An elemental message of the book would be how music is a language, not just an art-form. One can be artistic in the way one uses a language, but music is a language first, a medium of expression, before it is an art-form.

He explains this concept in a very unique, accessible manner. Here's how I understood it:
When we are born, there is so much about the world that we start to take in, interpret, and react to. One of the first things we learn is our language. We try to speak to our parents, try to tell mom or dad, 'I'm hungry!' or 'I'm happy!'... We feel the urge to talk to them and share our feelings.

Of course, mom and dad are accomplished speakers of their languages, and they initiate a freestyle flavor of communication, where there is as much room for mistakes as there is for proper communication. We start to 'jam' with them. The mood is playful, oohs and aahs, coos and caahs, babies so often seem to enjoy it no end, and yet it is a learning experience! When babies (language amateurs) make those mistakes, adults (language professionals) would playfully repeat those mistakes right along with us!

In 3 or 4 years, that baby that cried because it could not speak suddenly starts talking its parents' ears off, asking more questions about the world than they care to answer!

A passage describes how if a starting musician were to start off jamming with professional, accomplished musicians, it would not take that musician decades of experience to play skillfully; it would take a few years, perhaps less than a decade, as it took for the baby to speak.

There is a strong truth to that message; one often sees musicians born into musical families that are able to develop a skill much faster with practice than, say, a child from a family without professional musicians that goes to music school. Even children that grow up in musical environments (performance venues, studios etc), that get a chance to communicate with people more musically experienced than themselves seem to exhibit a better understanding of music than their peers.

These days when I pick up my bass, I feel less 'hindered' by my prior approach. I feel a certain kind of peace, a freedom of expression. Wooten's book helped me realize for myself that I needed to practice expressing myself as much as I did everything else (technique, scales etc).

It's easy to acknowledge a fact, but a student only truly realizes the fact for him/herself when the master explains it the right way. Victor Wooten did that wonderfully for me with his collection of vignettes he calls 'The Music Lesson'.

The video that I mention at the beginning of this essay is available on youtube. Search for "wooten amazing grace".
_______________________________________________________________

Hope I didn't blowout on the cheese! Thanks for reviewing.

There wasn't a word limit. Think it's too long?
klusterfunk   
Jan 20, 2010
Undergraduate / "What Swimming Has Taught Me"-Texas A&M Essay Topic C [5]

Since this is part of your application as the topic suggests, you may be facing some stiff competition in the hardships/challenges department... especially since it's in a pool, at swimming class.

I'm not saying swimming is easy (I learnt to swim after the instructor knocked my fat butt into the deep end, and I swam all the way to other end, bawling my eyes out for the whole 20 meters).

Nor am I saying that we should focus on pity points.

I'm just wondering if perhaps there are bigger challenges or hardships you may have had to face in your life that you could use for this.
klusterfunk   
Jan 20, 2010
Undergraduate / UNC Essay - Expressing My Inner World [6]

Wow. All I can say is, I'm jealous of your experience and I can't wait to try playing a flute!

An exceedingly well-written, imaginative, and honest essay that seems to reek (in a good way!) of existentialism.

Loved it; thanks for sharing.

Took a second look, and the only thing I can possibly criticize is already covered by srandhwa, about the last part being a little cheesy (which you identified at first).

I think his/her idea of observing the audience's reaction, or the world's reaction in general, maybe something philosophical, about nature and sound... maybe something to that effect might be in order?
klusterfunk   
Jan 17, 2010
Undergraduate / I attended a school in Bahrain; Educational Path essay, UM [6]

Describe your educational path. How did you get to where you are today? What are your educational goals, and how does the University of Michigan fit into them?

I attended a school in Bahrain (a small island country in the Middle East) called The Indian School, where I stayed half way through high school (until the 6th grade). Unfortunately, the school was unable to provide an environment that encouraged learning. I scored good grades for the first three or four years, but grew tired of the moribund, close-minded style of teaching, which mostly involved memorizing texts verbatim, apart from massaging the fractured, yet ever-growing egos of some teachers and administration.

So I decided to quit school and read on my own.

I did not continue any formal education until about 2 years after I arrived in Florida where I got my GED, at a high percentile. I wanted to develop on my interest in psychology (I had done as much reading as possible about the subject during the gap in my education).

I enrolled at Broward College, where I finally got to meet some sincere teachers. These were extraordinary people with profound love for their subjects, from calculus to geology to developmental psychology. I couldn't get enough, often staying as long as I could after class developing on our class discussions. I truly enjoyed my time with them; even the ones I disagreed with vehemently on certain subjects... they always had something unique and useful to teach.

By that point, I knew psychology was what I wanted to do. I looked for good colleges with strong experimental programs, and was astounded by the Labs on offer at the University of Michigan, especially in the cognitive, social and developmental realms. With its' strong undergrad and grad programs, I think UM fits perfectly with my goals to learn more about this deep and fascinating field.
klusterfunk   
Jan 17, 2010
Undergraduate / "a member of the Jazz Club" - University of Michigan - diversity short answer [6]

I thought your essay was right on the money, in the pocket, and in the groove...

This is a bit of a nit I'm about to pick, but it isn't an err to be unable to work beyond one's capable speed.

whipped and killed - for reasons (?) as trivial as working too slowly,
klusterfunk   
Jan 17, 2010
Undergraduate / Girls, Girls, Girls- Common Short Essay [21]

I have to agree with the poster here who said that your essay would be refreshing to a person who has been going through a tedious pile... but I also have to admit that I would not be surprised if said person punctuated the inevitable chuckle with a graceful crumple-and-toss.

Would this be a B-list school you're applying to?

I also agree with another poster who stated that colloquialism tends to, for lack of a better word, suck.

*depoof*
klusterfunk   
Jan 17, 2010
Undergraduate / (childhood in the Arabian Gulf) - Culture and Diversity essay [NEW]

"We know that diversity makes us a better university -- better for learning, for teaching, and for conducting research."
(U-M President Mary Sue Coleman)

Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan.

______________________________________________________________________ ___

One of the most rewarding cultural experiences I had was getting to know my friends in India.

During my childhood in the Arabian Gulf, my parents and that society sometimes encouraged discriminatory perspectives in their youth. This included prejudice against religion, color and regional origins. With my limited exposure to India and its natives, I was tempted to believe most Indians were as discriminatory as my parents. Just because they seemed to paint a picture where people were to be categorized based on their region, or color or any other generalized trait, I made the exact same mistake, thinking all Indians thought the way they did.

I moved to India when I was around 18 for a firsthand experience of India. Hitherto, I had only briefly glimpsed the culture from car windows and hotel tours during the few weeks of vacation my parents arranged every year. This started the cultural experience of a lifetime. I met 'real' Indians, who had a strong sense of cultural identity. Yet they challenged every presupposition my parents' society had led me to believe and the ones I had developed personally.

It was evident that all people were not as my previous society had portrayed. I learned that people of all colors, from all states of India, had their positives and negatives, but they were all unique.

My rewarding experience only resonated during my stay in the US, where people of all cultures and backgrounds are able to mingle. I was finally allowed to exchange viewpoints about economics with people from communist China, religion with a person from Haiti, and the finer points of hot sauce with a Guatemalan.

This exposure showed me the kind of enjoyment and humanist positivity that has resonated with me since then. I would like to share that social resonance, with the people at UM and keep that energy going.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳