Essays / An outline about SOFTBALL VS. BASEBALL [4]

I have given you the model to follow, as well as some suggestions for main points. It is now your responsibility to find the information you want to convey to your readers and fill in the blanks. We are here to provide you with assistance organizing and editing, not with filling in your content.

Writing Feedback / "Teenagers nowadays have adopted a consumerist lifestyle." [5]

With unlimited access to the Internet, television, and foreign magazines, teenagers are more exposed to Western lifestyle than ever; and they adapt to changing trends as fast as a chameleon.

The $1,500 sweet-sixteen MTV-style birthday party in a five-stared hotel that Sarah, a student from a middle-class Singaporean family, had insisted on having does not seem anymore ostentatious.

Honestly, in this materialistic world, how many teenagers would choose to live a bland, frugal life to be called a " freak" in the student population?

Not very much this time! Good job!

Writing Feedback / "Teenagers nowadays have adopted a consumerist lifestyle." [5]

You are welcome!

I do think your essay is relevant to the topic; you answer the prompt with sound examples. The only thing that could help your arguments become more solid is to find some kind of research that supports your assertions. For example, where did you find the figures about how much the average family makes? That would be a good opportunity, and needs to be cited.

Essays / Absurd elements of absurd theatre in waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett [3]

Good morning.

I suggest you begin your search on the internet. You can use keywords "absurd elements of absurd theatre in waiting for godot by Samuel Beckett"; quite a bit of information results.

You can also check with your academic advisor; he or she may be able to help you use campus resources such as the campus library, or other research sources.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Research Papers / Starting my euthanasia research paper and my topic? [5]

Good morning :)

Euthanasia is a very vast topic; it would help you to narrow it down a little bit. What type of paper are you to write? Is it an opinion piece, a research paper, etc.?

Consider looking at euthanasia in relation to something else, as this will help you write a more effective paper. How long does it need to be? If your topic is too large for your word count, you won't be able to get any depth to the paper. Perhaps something such as euthanasia in a certain geographical region, or during a specific time period; euthanasia and the military, or as a social "solution" used by dictators, etc.

You can start your research by just doing an internet search using the keyword "euthanasia"; it will undoubtedly bring up millions of sites, but it can help you narrow or specialize the topic of your paper, as well as give you an idea as to what materials are out there.

You can also check with your academic advisor; he or she may be able to help you with on-campus research resources such as the campus library, or other materials.

Once you have your content ideas, go ahead and post here and we can take the next step.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Graduate / essay for campus placement on "HOW YOUR COLLEGE ENABLED YOUR CARRER" [3]

Good morning :)

I suggest starting with an outline. Decide on two or three things that you want to tell your audience about; for instance, what positive things have happened to you in your career as a result of your college choices? Once you have these two or three main pillars to hold up your essay, give each of those main points one fact or supporting detail. For instance, have you been offered better jobs because of your education, or do you have more opportunities because of it?

In your conclusion, take a couple of sentences and recap over what you wrote previously, and save your thesis statement and your introduction until after you have written the essay. After all, how can you write an introduction for a paper that hasn't been written yet? :)

Once you have your rough draft, feel free to post it here and I can edit it.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / curriculum vitae - my first essay [5]

"I was born in 1984 in a small town in Switzerland. I've grown up passing through elementary school and upper stage.What does this mean? What is "passing through"? Then I started an apprenticeship in the IT sector. While I have been an apprentice I recognized that I'm not really a technician. Ever since I can remember I've been interested in languages and I've always thought that I'm talented in them. Refrain from using casual contractions in formal academic writing.

You've got a good start here!

Writing Feedback / curriculum vitae - my first essay [5]

Ah, I see. How about rewriting that statement to something like "I've grown up, passing through both elementary and secondary school" or "I have been through both elementary and secondary school", or something like that, to clarify for your reader.

Letters / My dream university - admission appeal [5]

Good afternoon.

I would start off your appeal by thanking them for taking time to reexamine their decision. I would then take the opportunity of their attention to explain that your high school and SAT scores were good. I would then explain exactly what it was that caused the dip in your college GPA, and then explain how you were able to rectify this and ensure that your grades will not suffer because of it again. For example, if your grades dropped because of bad study habits, you could explain what you did to correct that and then go on to tell them that you now know what to do so that it won't happen again; i.e. I got organized and improved my time management skills so that when I'm in a time crunch again, my grades will not suffer because I know how to get through it. You could then go on to tell them how your grades have improved since, and let them again know why it is you want to work hard and attend their university. If what you think the problem was is the problem, once they see that you know how to correct it, you should get better results.

Once you get a rough draft, you can post it here and then I can help you polish it.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / The beauty of an individual - essay [6]

Good evening.

Large parts of this essay have been plagiarized from various other websites. Please ensure that your work is 100% original or it is properly cited. Once this has been done, you may post again; until then we will be unable to assist you.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / The beauty of an individual - essay [6]

Good morning.

When your paper is checked with the plagiarism checker, it comes back that large amounts are word for word from other sources. These either must be changed or properly cited as someone else's work.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Undergraduate / Your family history, culture, or environment influenced - how it influenced [3]

I think you have very good reasons for which to attend UCF; it looks like you have done your homework and know what you want out of a university, and it seems like UCF is the place. You could expand a little as to which program interests you, and what you plan to do with the education once you graduate. That would help the school get a better feel for who you are and where you plan on going, as well as increase your word count.

Writing Feedback / The beauty of an individual - essay [6]

If you have run a plagiarism check yourself then you know what is coming back as copied. The solution is either to summarize/paraphrase the material in your own words, or cite the information properly as someone else's. The problem is probably largely to do with your lack of citation.

Faq, Help / Why is my topic / thread deleted? [78]

This topic was erased because you already posted it here under another topic heading; as such there was no need for two postings.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / the way of nominating homeroom teacher [4]

Good morning :)

I see what you mean. In the States we say "assigned" a lot. How about "assigning" or "delegating", or "electing"; probably more apt, "choosing" or "choose"? As in, "Last year, one high school introduced a new way of delegating students' homeroom teachers."

"Last year, one high school introduced a new way of choosing students' homeroom teachers."

When we say "nominate" that person or thing is up for some kind of award or they/it have won some sort of contest, as in "So-and-So has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize"; that is the connotation that goes along with this word.

You could also use assignment, as in "Therefore, this should be encouraged and adopted as a new alternative to assignment."

Anything along these lines would be appropriate.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Faq, Help / Is it safe to post my essay here? Or should I be worried about Plagiarism? [175]

If you change your mind, I'll be happy to look it over for you.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / help with an esay on "Youth Perceptions of Human Security in Africa" [16]

Good morning!

Well, it seems as if you have a pretty broad topic. I suggest you start your research with an internet search using your title as keywords. From the basic information you gather there, you can dig deeper into other areas, such as the current security atmosphere in Africa overall, or security precautions/measures taken (if any) taken by the African government. You can focus on one specific area, such as South Africa, or a certain city, such as Lagos, to help make research a little easier. You can also check out the official websites of the African government(s), to make sure your sources are credible.

Once you have a good idea of what you want your content to include and you have a fair amount of research on your subject, we can begin an outline.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Letters / My dream university - admission appeal [5]

Excellent work! You have done a fine, organized job of explaining the situation here, which is exactly what they will be looking for. I wish you the best of luck; let me know what they say!

Writing Feedback / Desbribing a person - Julian, my soul mate [6]

Good morning Débora.

You are very welcome. Whenever you need help, go ahead and post here, and I'll do my best!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Satirical essay - controversial issue in Health Sciences [4]

Good morning :)

Does the institution assign you a topic to write your essay on, or is it just a general "Why I Want to Go to School Here" kind of thing?

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Scholarship / Application - why you think you should get a textbook scholarship [2]

Excellent work; I almost found myself applauding at your conclusion! Just a few mechanical errors, but I think you've done a wonderful job here. You have included enough details to let your reader(s) know your situation; you have a grabby hook and a very well tied up conclusion. Again, a wonderful job and I wish you the best of luck!

Essays / Research on infrastrutural decay and national development in the role of banks [6]

Once you have your research organized and have a good idea of what you want in the content, I can help you with an outline, and then further along, with editing and organization.

Let us know when you have your content ready!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Research on infrastrutural decay and national development in the role of banks [6]

As with the others posting regararding this essay:

Once you have your research organized and have a good idea of what you want in the content, I can help you with an outline, and then further along, with editing and organization.

Let us know when you have your content ready!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Graduate / Admission Essay for MA (Instructional Design and Technology) [8]

Good morning :)

You've done quite a bit of hard work on this!

I was one eager chap who wasted no time testing it out; I thought it was engaging and I enjoyed trying out the quizzes, which provided instant responses. However, I fretted. How I wished the previously developed courseware which I had seen in other contexts, was of the same standard as this 'gem'.

CROPPED

Graduate / Admission Essay for MA (Instructional Design and Technology) [8]

I really like your additions; it defines your goals for the future clearly and shows you have a defined direction. Can you think of a specific instance in your daily work where you really could have used one of the procedures you describe above? For instance, perhaps there is a new piece of equipment that you are required to use and you were only trained with a manual, where getting some "hands-on" experience would have been much more beneficial? Or, perhaps do you see others in your field advancing individually and as a team that have these other training structures and strategies, and you can see your organization falling behind because you do not utilize these same or like tools? Try and find the places in your current life/job where these specific items would be of use, and you can use them as your examples, which will enhance your essay and make it clearly more personable, which is what it seems you are searching for.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / The three traits of a good essay(Is this essay any good?) [2]

Good morning :)

This is a good essay; you give clear, concise information. Just a few suggestions:

"A good essay should clearly define its subject. The reader shouldn't have to guess what you're talking about, because it should be obvious. Your essay should come out of the gate with it's mission in hand. It's purpose being easily understood by your reader.

A good essay should make an assertion. It must put forth an idea or opinion. Your reader should be able to agree or disagree with your assertion because it is not a fact, but a supposition, a view, or judgment on a matter.

L ast of all, a good essay should be written well. Even a good opinion or judgment can make a bad essay if written poorly. How can your readers follow your reasons if they become befuddled with bad grammar, spelling, or punctuation? Therefore, three traits make a good essay--a definite subject, a workable assertion, and a well written work."

Make sure you are leaving spaces between your words and after your punctuation. Other than that, it look's pretty good.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / Establish a duty of care- Tort Law [8]

You've got a pretty good draft here. Watch your use of quotation marks; only very rarely are single quotation marks used. In this essay, there are no circumstances in which singular quotes should have been used. Also, watch your tense; you slip from past to present tense often; choose one and stick with it throughout your entire essay. Check your reference/citation style. There are many cases and parts of cases that are cited word-for-word, but that do not have adequate referencing and/or citation. How formal is this text to be? If it is going to be turned in for a grade, make sure you are not using casual contractions such as "aren't", "don't", and "doesn't". We do not use informal syntax in formal academic writing.

Keep up your good work; you've obviously put a lot into this essay.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / Establish a duty of care- Tort Law [8]

I am not sure as to what you need. I do not know what your assignment is, and I am not familiar with your content. If it is content assistance you require, I suggest you contact your academic advisor. I do not know what you mean by "more extreme stuff"; I can only help you organize and edit your work.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / European Championship - football essay [4]

You've got a good rough draft here. Mainly, watch your tense; you slip from present tense to past tense frequently. Pick one tense and stick with it throughout the piece. Otherwise, you stick to your topic and have good paragraphs that flow together well. Nice job.

Essays / Unnecessary classes - Need help with argumentive essay [2]

Good evening.

Unfortunately, I cannot help you with the content of your essay. As I do not know what the specifics of your assignment are, I am not sure as to what kind of information you need. If it is an opinion piece, what classes do you think are not necessary for a major? If it is a research paper, I suggest you begin with an internet search using keywords such as "unnecessary classes" and "college majors"; otherwise, you can contact your academic advisor or campus library for research materials that may be able to assist you.

Once you have your content together and have written a rough draft, I can help you with organization and editing. Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Research Papers / References for a research paper on Virginia Woolf's A Mark on the Wall [2]

Good evening.

There are many free research databases on the internet, they just take a little bit of time to search them out. I suggest you begin with an internet search using the keywords of your text's title, "A Mark on the Wall" and then the author's name, "Woolf". You can then begin to search from those sites and see what information is useful to you. You can also search for "free study guides" or "free literature assistance". Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / help with an esay on "Youth Perceptions of Human Security in Africa" [16]

Good evening.

It seems that this is a question best answered by your instructor. As I did not assign the topic/project, so I am not sure whether or not you can break down the topic. I suggest you contact your instructor with this question.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / Establish a duty of care- Tort Law [8]

Good morning.

Well, as it seems that you need assistance with content, which is specific to your academic course, I again suggest you contact your academic advisor. He or she may be able to connect you with study groups or something of the like that can assist you with the course content. This forum is to assist students with organization and/or proofreading and editing essays, so all I can really help you with are those kinds of things. As far as writing the content, there's not a lot I can assist you with. If you are looking for ways to get the essay you already have fit together, or flow more easily, that is something that I can assist with; if you need help applying case law or applying it, that's not something I can help you with.

Essays / help with an esay on "Youth Perceptions of Human Security in Africa" [16]

Good morning.

Again, this is a question that is specific to your assignment and should be directed to your instructor; I am afraid I cannot tell you one way or another since it is specific to your academic course.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / Establish a duty of care- Tort Law [8]

If you are going to post your essay with the corrections made, I can edit it again for organization and mechanics. If you need assistance with content, I will not be able to assist.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / "Online plagiarism" - read my paraphrased paragraph! [2]

"A study regarding online plagiarism implied that the acts being committed may be big in number, but not actually a devastating number . Online plagiarism is also comparable to c onventional plagiarism and that the numbers are quite close to each other; 24.5% and 27.6% respectively . It was also found that o nline p lagiarism is done by ignorant students that were not taught about what? or either do not understand the fact that much of the online information is not public domain! This survey was able to conclude that o nline plagiarism is not that much of a widespread problem of literature theft as feared to be, but others disagreed with the statement. (KELLOGG, Alex P.)"

Just a few mechanical errors; be careful of random capitalization and punctuation.

Essays / Literary tools analysis MLK "I Have a Dream." - great speeches [7]

Good evening.

I suggest conducting an internet search using the keywords "Martin Luther King, Jr." and "I Have a Dream speech"; that should get you the information you are seeking. Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / Youth and Technology combined no doubt will bring a very aspiring future [4]

"The greatest breakthrough in technology was started during the mid 20th century and we,Generation Y, and even younger of the late 20th century have fallen victim to the rise of gadgets. Technology like cell phones, mp3 players, computers, TV, video games, and so forth are some of the gadgets that most of the kids in North America own or have experienced. It has been noted that technologies have been more integrated in our lives effectively than those olderthan 27; for example Generation X. Technology, although distracting for youth does however bring a lot of positives to the table! A cell phone for example can be used to help parents check on up theirkids outside at night; for the kid it is a great social connectivity tool allowing him or her to talk to his or her friend, to even ask questions about the latest homework assignment. Youth and technology combined no doubt will bring a very aspiring future for our generation. (JEREMY Remier and WARREN BUCKLEITNER)"

Writing Feedback / Youth and Technology combined no doubt will bring a very aspiring future [4]

You are very welcome.

Tense is something that all writers, no matter what their level, have to be mindful of. Some find it easier to write in the past tense than the present tense, but not everyone is like this. Pick a tense that is comfortable to you; it will probably be the one you find yourself talking mostly in. As for "rules", the best way I can suggest is that if it happened in the past, stick "ed " on the e nd . If you are going to write in the present tense, there should be no "ed "s.

The best rule of thumb is just to read through your work (maybe try it out loud) and see if it makes sense; this can be very difficult, especially when you have read through something so many times you can recite it in your sleep. If you can afford to, put your essay away for a day or two and don't read it; when you go through it after being away for awhile, things like conflicts in tense jump out at you. Otherwise, there's always the old standby of having someone else read it for you, which I am always very happy to do. :)

The more you practice, the better you will become. Keep up your hard work.

Essays / help with an esay on "Youth Perceptions of Human Security in Africa" [16]

Good morning.

Again, this is another question that should be directed to your instructor. I am not sure what his or her requirements for the assignment are, therefore I am not sure what he/she requires for the abstract.

Generally, an abstract is a brief overview of what you are going to talk about in your paper. It is usually a paragraph or two long (your specificiations may require a different length), and is a "trailer" to what you will discuss in your paper.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com