Undergraduate / Researching + study abroad: what do you hope to accomplish at boston university? [4]

Overlooking the city of Boston, where the bright lights of the skyline illuminate the night sky, I finish a conference call with some business representatives from London and Milan. My office seems like it is on top of the world. No, scratch that. I feel like I am on top of the world - the business world that is. This is where I see myself years from now. However, my first step is attending BU, in which time I would like to accomplish a few things.

Primarily, I would like to take part in two incomparable opportunities: researching with professors and studying abroad in Europe. The professors at BU are clearly overqualified as some are Nobel Prize laureates and many have several publications. I would be honored in assisting them to continue to strive and expand their knowledge through research. Additionally, I could not fulfill my experience at BU without participating in the study abroad program. I have always dreamed of speaking fluently in another language and going to Europe. With BU's study abroad program, I can pursue these dreams quite easily and affordably, while gaining experience by possibly interning in another country.

During my time at BU, I plan on participating in the dual degree program in order to receive a master in both psychology and international business. I was very much enticed by this program considering many other schools make double majoring between colleges almost impossible to complete in four years. Therefore, Boston University allows me to satisfy my intellectual curiosity, which is certainly a priority for when I attend college.

I would also like to mention one last goal for my four years at Boston University. I hope I am not risking my admittance to the university by informing you that I have never attended a hockey game. Considering hockey is the most popular sport at BU, I would be obligated to attend one as soon as possible if granted the opportunity. Not only would I be obligated, but also I would be more than delighted to show my support for the Terriers at what they do best in an athletic sense.

Solely describing my ambitions excites me more than anything. When I had originally drafted this essay, I was sitting in my hotel room in Boston after my second visit to the university. I was very much thrilled to apply to the school of my dreams. As cliché as that sounds, this previous statement could not be more valid, considering BU offers everything I would like to accomplish in four years of college. I clearly could not mention every minor aspect that I would like to experience at BU, as I cannot describe an exhilarating and fulfilling four years of my life. Although I cannot describe such an extended period of time, I hope to live it at BU and find myself on top of the world one day.

this needs some major work.. i just don't know where to start. PLEASE HELP!

Undergraduate / "my suburban town" - a life lesson learned that you can bring to the villanova campus [3]

Describe a life lesson learned that you can bring to the villanova campus.

A haze of periwinkles, salmons, and forest greens swirled together in a garden of blossomed orchids and carnations. Hanging from the ramshackle door of a dilapidated, old house, a birdfeeder overflowed with nourishing grains and appetizing seeds. So out of place in my modern suburban town where newly built brick houses conquered the land, this hut might as well have been inhabited by fairies and dragons and princesses. Every Friday after school, my nanny gripped my hand, swinging it to and fro as she escorted my brother and me to the local pizzeria, past this magical house. She would always be sure to pick two flowers, usually a dusty blue and a pale pink carnation for each of us. Regardless of how many times we strolled past the hut, or how many flowers we picked, it still resonated the same magical aura as it did the first time we came across the hut; it housed my imaginations, my hopes, and the after school Friday walks of my childhood.

As seasons changed and birthdays passed, I became very enthralled in my own life. So encompassed by triumphs and tragedies throughout the years, I neglected to notice the development of the world around me. As I walked home from work one day this past summer, I noticed the hut. However, the swirl of colors and birdfeeder were now gone. The cracks and stains in the siding were repaired and, in fact, the residency was now a newly built brick house. My heart sunk deep into my stomach; I thought, "How could I have possibly been so absorbed in my own life that the demolition and construction of a house visible from my own had gone unnoticed?"

At that very moment, the earth beneath my tired feet slowed to a halt. The sun seemed to shine brighter, the birds sang more harmoniously, and the wind calmed to a soothing breeze. Unfortunately in the time between my childhood to near present day, I had been going through the motions of my life in a formulaic, robotic manner: go to school, run to work, do homework, and repeat. I had not often enough withdrawn myself from the whirlpool of my daily routine to notice the omnipresent beauties of this earth

As I attend Villanova, I hope to help my fellow peers to enjoy the beauties that surround them before life's true value of time is stolen from them. I look forward to share with the Villanova community that we must take advantage of the time we have at the university to make the best of our lives and our futures. We must occasionally step back from our busy schedules to be aware of the changes in the world we live in; in turn we will avoid getting sucked into a superficial existence where time seems to be interminable and our purpose in society is forgotten. Time is as precious as what we make of it, and I will share this insight because, as I know far too well, opportunities, cherished memories, and time itself may erode and disappear, much like my magical hut.

I know this needs some work but i dont know where to begin with my editing.. PLEASE HELP!

Undergraduate / "My Injury" - describe a struggle you overcame and its impact on you [6]

November 3rd, 2008 - perhaps this was the day your daughter learned to ride her bicycle without training wheels or the day your best friend began a new life through marriage. This particular day in history was the ninety-year anniversary of the fall of the Austro-Hungarian Empire and the day before one of the most monumental presidential elections in American history. However, in my small, naive existence at John P. Steven's High School, it was the day my entire life changed and the world as I knew it had collapsed.

The air was thick and still as if a tornado was expected. Charcoal-colored clouds loomed and enveloped the sky, emanating a sense of foreboding onto the ground: the kind of weather that instigates feelings of lethargy and despondency. Despite such emotions, I dragged myself to the first day of winter track practice where I would ease back into hurdling. Hurdling was easy and I had mastered the art of it, winning several medals as a freshman in county track meets as well as smaller invitationals; but this day was different. Standing thirty-three inches tall was an "intimidating" hurdle inviting me to leap over it like a fierce gazelle pouncing upon its prey. Before I could finally trudge home, I had one last practice run, and of course I crashed into the final hurdle that I needed to overcome. Charging into the plastic bar with an already cracked left rail and faded letters claiming "Stevens," my firm, robust lead leg transformed into a lanky, vulnerable limb similar to that of a baby deer. The hurdle followed with the momentum of my body, and I had no time to process what had occurred. My legs involuntarily crossed, forcefully dislocating my right knee, as they finally stomped back onto the track shredding several ligaments as well as fracturing my femur. Darkness shocked my world before I opened my eyes and realized a sensation of extreme pain overwhelming my body much like the menacing clouds overcame the track around me. My hurdling days were over.

Three surgeries, two titanium screws, and one ligament removal later, I reside in this world with a new insight on life. My injury was not only the biggest challenge I have ever confronted, my surgeon has only encountered a single more extensive injury in his thirty-eight years of practice, the first more severe injury being that of a professional football player. While my friends were competing in athletic events, hanging out, and enjoying other mundane activities of high school life, I was relearning how to utilize the muscles in my leg to propel it upward, an activity striving toward the longtime goal of walking once again. I can no longer participate in physical education, and I will never again be the first pick for a friendly game of volleyball considering one of my knees is nearly bionic, bolted together with synthetic screws.

Throughout this emotional and physical struggle, my persistent effort to live a normal life with normal legs and a normal stride has granted me the success of achieving these goals to some degree. As hard as I have worked to regain my strength, enduring pain and fighting through perceivably simple exercises in hopes that I can revert back to my previous, healthy life, my knee still collapses and buckles arbitrarily. Eager to continue my recovery, I challenge myself to run a mile or so occasionally; pain shoots through my leg as if it were being hacked at by a hammer. With each stride onto the pavement, tightness spreads throughout my limb and swelling attacks my joint, making each movement nearly impossible. I concentrate on the seven horrifying words that resonate in my head as I continue to push through such immense pain; several months after my third surgery, my doctor had mentioned, "It's possible you may never walk again". With these words, I squinted my eyes, shook my head and opened my stride, pumping my arms harder. Images rushed through my mind of all the triumphs and downfalls I had experienced in this life-changing milestone and I immediately assumed that I have gained nothing but perseverance. However, as the images of salted tears pouring down my face and the discouraged eyes of my doctors and therapists looking down upon my battered leg escape my mind, I realize joyous pictures of my "first steps" and my countless accomplishments.

My knee catastrophe has taught me that no matter how many failures to which I have succumbed, I have endured greater successes and have surely risen above these hindrances by far exceeding my doctor's expectations regarding mobility. From this injury, I have matured greatly in that I was able to end my journey in the world of athletics and continue with my adventure of thought and academics. As I realize new interests that I never previously discovered, such as poetry and community service, my perspectives and insights from competitive sports has provided me with a sturdy framework for flourishing in all aspects of my life. While I progress on this quest, I carry an outlook on life that I must challenge myself to be the best in every instance and opportunity because only this could satiate my hunger to succeed. I realize that obstacles, which I am willing to overcome, precede every triumph; and as more hurdles appear along my race of life, I will always remember to jump higher in order to avoid stumbling once again.

In retrospect, I can perceive this specific November 3rd as the day that any and every athlete dreads, the day that my world disintegrated, the day that has robbed me of my passions. However, more optimistically, this day led to help me discover myself. I would like to think of it as an experience that has added to my identity and has made me strong and resilient enough to handle whatever I may encounter in my life. Quite evidently, my experience can be interpreted in both positive and negative ways and although I cannot prevent such unfortunate events from happening in my life, I can surely control my perspective on them. No matter how much my injury has set me back or built me up, in my seventeen-year-old mind I am willing to accept that this day has defined my past, and I can assure you that I will define my future.

so i tried to describe more, but i feel like the highlighted para is still very cliche :( any more suggestions? and also any suggestions for a title? thank you

Undergraduate / Lehigh essay: define equity and community and their implications in society. [6]

In our ever-changing society, people have defined 'equity' and 'community' in many different ways. How do you define these terms and what are the implications of equity and community for our 21st century society?

As I stare into a deep abyss of ocean-blue atmosphere, I consider that I am not the only curious soul delving into this unknown. In fact, thousands of miles away someone may be sifting through the same stars and the same thoughts. Perhaps such thoughts explore the magic of star formations such as the renowned "Big Dipper" or "Orion's Belt". It baffles me how even stars are grouped to form a stunning sight and this to me is the definition of community. On a more literal level, community is the integrration of people creating a close-knit group with specific attributes, such as support and unification. Without support of others a community cannot exist. People rely on each other to stabilize a functional community like stars rely on each other to balance out their own gravitational pull. As each luminous bundle of energy pulls on their neighbor stars, they are aligned in such a way to create an extraordinary sight. Similar to the stars, human beings depend upon and cooperate with each other to establish a prosperous society. Equity (i.e., each person's contribution to his or her community) is therefore one of the major components of a community and without this aspect, society would be at a standstill.

While our community continues to develop, naturally, we must adapt to our ever-changing environment. In our 21st century world, technology shares a direct relationship with violence and thus, for our own survival, community and equity become imperative. More optimistically, community and equity are also a big part in upholding a flourishing society in that we can progress with the rest of the world and continue to help those who are in need.

I was going for something kind of abstract and different for my intro instead of simply just answering the question.. not sure if its just just reandom and take it out?

also I'd appreciate any suggestions to improve my essay! Thanks.