Undergraduate / Death of my grandmother: William And Mary Essay [8]

This didn't come out the way I intended it, but is it still usable? Point out any and all flaws, especially in the tone... all help greatly appreciated!

TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY

There's an elephant in the room, and although it's an effort to come to terms with my baggage, I'm going to try and admit that it's there.

My paternal grandmother died of cancer, on November 30th 2010; 12 days before I wrote this. Cancer of the colon, that metastasized to the liver. No, it wasn't a shock, I'd known about it for two years. Yes, I was close to her; she did mean a lot to me.

People say I'm a lot like my grandmother. Indeed, it's impossible to ignore the uncanny resemblance when you look at photographs, which I've been doing a lot lately. But the resemblance goes deeper than what a black-and-white portrait taken in the 1950's could ever capture. Her background as a teacher met my passion for learning, and many a bright summer's day was spent with her poring over Hindi verse, to our mutual enjoyment. Our dark eyes share a particular brand of fire; we shared a mildly feminist passion, along with a desire to shatter all boundaries. I'm said to be as sharp as her, which is an honor, for she really was a discerning lady.

I learned to be frank and forthright from her, and to speak what really was on my mind; she also taught me to never allow myself to be pitied for who I was. She was a lady who, when meeting over seventy people on the last day of her life, turned to my father and asked him what would happen if, after all this fuss, she didn't die; and some day, I'd like to have her ability to handle the worst situation with just a pinch of humor and a tablespoon of acceptance.

My grandmother expected a lot from me, which defined the person I am today. She wanted me to be a complete woman; one who could hold her head up in pride over her accomplishments, but saw no need to. She pushed me towards academic and cultural achievements, but showed me the importance of living your life with dignity and self-respect. The age she grew up in prevented her full blossoming to her maximum potential, as she was denied opportunities boys her age took for granted; she taught me to value the chances I got and to seize the day as firmly as I can.

Hindu scriptures say that a soul ascends to heaven and peace thirteen days after the death of its body; although my family and I maintain a healthy amount of disrespect for most traditions, I don't believe it's a coincidence that this day falls on the first day of Christmas. The world is conspiring to give me grandmother peace; it's in my power to help it along. That's my inspiration, my incentive, to and succeed; I'm determined to accomplish it.

Undergraduate / "My India nationality and in-the-middle personality is up for grabs." - UC 1 [3]

Hey! Really close to deadline, so any help appreciated!

Prompt: Describe the world you come from ― for example, your family, community or school ― and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

OF TWO LANDS

My nationality is up for grabs.

It has been since I moved to India after seven years of an idyllic American childhood; since I realized I could see beyond the flaws of India, beyond its stark juxtaposition of opulence and abject poverty. I'm made painfully aware of my landlessness when somebody asks me which country I'm from. I shrug sheepishly, since they always expect me to give just one answer. I avoid the question for as long as I can, and then give the exceedingly vague answer I had carefully formulated; I was half Indian.

But which half of me belongs in India?

Academically, living in India has played a formative role in defining my interests. The jarring vividity of Indian culture intoxicated me, leaving me with a desire to understand it further. I developed keen interests in the history, political structure and economy of the land I once believed was forced upon me; and as I grew up these interests diversified. My self-proclaimed dual nationality granted me impartiality; I felt I could better evaluate situations. Paradoxically, living in India prevented any of these interests from becoming subjects of formal high school study. India stigmatizes children studying humanities, forcing students with the slightest scientific inclination to study the 'hard sciences' that would guarantee them a job. Although I was figuratively forced into studying the natural sciences, my curriculum fostered a fascination with physics and chemistry. Concepts like Schrodinger's cat and relativity intrigue me, and drive me to study further. The variety of my interests made me despair of ever finding one field I would want to study further, until I comprehended the role of mathematics in all of them. Math is my latest passion, and the convergence of fourteen years of education; it's the one field that is truly representative of the person I am and the interests I have, and so one I want to excel in.

On the other hand, I never memorize formulae, but derive them during a test. My sentence structure and spelling sometimes drift away from British convention. The quality of my assignments matter just as much as the grade of my final examination; I don't work just to amass marks. Within my academic context, I can see the influence of India; to people around me, I seem to stick out as a bit of a wild child.

In terms of my personality, I think I'm stuck in the middle. I pick up litter at self-serve restaurants. I can't tolerate spicy food. I blatantly question my teachers. I rarely, if ever, talk to my extended family. The only language I really speak well is English, although I've picked up hints of other dialects. For better or for worse, I stand out from the stereotypical perception of an Indian. However, in many ways, my situation allows me to be more Indian than a lot of people in cosmopolitan Bangalore. I travel by trains to see historically significant temples. I make an effort to learn local languages, and I can understand at least four. I've learnt both Karnatic and Hindustani music. I study Hindu mythology just because its complexity mesmerizes me. These aspects of my personality are inexorably intertwined.

The cultures of both my countries have played formative roles in my development, and I cannot trivialize that by disregarding my connection with either one. I can never name one country I'm from, but why do I have to? Why can't I just say that I'm from both?