Undergraduate / "affluent academic resources and love of history" - What influenced you to apply GW? [2]

When I was a little girl, I used to fall asleep in my dad's arms, as he read Greek mythology. As I aged, I especially enjoyed reading history; to me, it was an enormous fountain that I could not stop drinking. Later, I find history is all about a reflection of an individual - how he or she views the world. One can quickly ignore parts he thinks are needless and focus on a specific incident. Yet, at the same time, it is a harsh truth that most histories are written by stronger individuals. Stories are descended by the winners, honoring their conquests and lionizing their heroes. I find myself strongly intrigued by both histories: the ignored and the highlighted. My interest in the overlooked history is a curiosity of the prospective scholar in this field. Yet, my initiative attracted by the spotlighted history is an ambition of the future leader of the world. George Washington is the institution that can educate both.

George Washington's affluent academic resources will build the groundwork for a thorough understanding of my study to prepare me comprehending histories that are different, unique, and complete. Liberal and active interactions between faculties and students will enlighten me with a variety of perspectives. I will be able to explore further activities, such as independent researches on nuclear weapons, internships in diverse organizations, or debating clubs on political policies, to benefit my knowledge and experience.

History has been a constant motivation to the citizens of the world, encouraging competitions and conquests. Everyone dreams of making his marks on history but few have achieved. George Washington already has cultivated people of that marks and proved it successful. Although making my mark is ultimately my responsibility, George Washington can direct me to reach this honor. Its diverse student activities, international programs and all other global opportunities will train me to obtain essential qualities of leaders in the 21st century. My active participation in sports, club activities, in and out campus extracurricular will teach me how to communicate, understand, and integrate ones who are different. I believe George Washington is the adequate place to leave my first pages of marks on history.

My endless love of history tells that history itself is dynamic and fluxional. It tells us that we are not completely independent from our past, as it is what has formed us. Infinite possibilities of human behaviors are revealed. Here, I revealed my possibility. I could not resist this fascinating subject that nurtured this world. Now, I chose George Washington as a place to nurture my world.

Thanks for any critiques!

Undergraduate / Unusual circumstance; when I had to bow three thousand times - harvard essay [2]

Before I even realized, I was a Buddhist. I was not forced to be, but it was natural in my family, from my grand grandmother to my mom now. Though, I did not feel any need to resist this religion. Frankly speaking, it was convenient; all I had to do was just to follow my family, from going to a temple to joining Buddhist events, such as Buddha's birthday. I neither doubted nor questioned the existence of God (Buddha in my case). I was an obedient yet indifferent believer.

In the summer of 2007, my shallow faith encountered its toughest challenge. There was a traditional activity in Korean Buddhism, called Samchunbae. Literally bowing three thousand times, this prayer was considered to be one of the most honorable challenges among Buddhists, because it tested one's both physical and spiritual strength. It was said that one can make his wish come true after completing this mission. More attracted to fulfill my wish, I quickly decided to participate, expecting Samchunbae would be something like a temporary training workout.

When I arrived at the temple, its climate was serene yet serious. The monks there looked more like agents in mission impossible. Their eyes were sparkling and their moves were agile. Once I started bowing, I physically realized that words were extremely easier than actions. First few hours went quite smoothly, but my entire outfit soon got drenched in sweat as I went along. When I finished the half (fifteen hundred times), my legs seemed numb yet painful. Anger, irritation, and tears occupied me. Physical pains were impossible to adjust. I couldn't understand why I was there, voluntarily abusing my body. It was not a school assignment that I must complete. I was not even a faithful servant of Buddha who would gratefully accept this torture for the sake of his God. "Why am I bearing all those pains? What good would it do to me?" Everything just seemed so unfair. I hated myself to agree on this prayer, my parents to suggest this activity, and the God to ultimately bring me this unwelcome mission. During Samchunbae, what I struggled most was to decide whether to keep or to stop. As no one had forced me to continue, the decision was entirely on my hands. I could just quit immediately, but something restrained me to do so. It was not because I suddenly became a devout Buddhist; rather because I could not throw away my previous suffering, and I became intrigued of what the end of this hardship would be. I guess subtle resistance out of spite was also there.

Though, as I went along, I was slowly adjusting to the pain. My mind became speechless with deathly silent environment surrounding me. When I could finally stop any ongoing emotion of rage and grief, there came a moment of a complete blank; my legs were still bent automatically, but I no longer felt anything. In spite of agonies and pains of my body, I found my mind completely untainted. What left after fierce inner and outer struggles was the sole me. The panorama of memories from my past to present went through my head: my family, friends, teachers, schools, and so on. I felt a humble gratitude for everything that had formed me till now. I burst in indefinable tears. It was the time that I finally threw away my arrogant pride and self-esteem and genuinely acknowledged my miniscule existence of the world. Samchunbae gave me an opportunity to look back myself. It confirmed me how blessed I was just because of living this moment. It demonstrated that struggles that made me so reluctant were only hurdles to achieve my ultimate dream.

Thanks for any critiques!!!

Undergraduate / "Past, presence, and future all reside in History" - Brown - academic interest [4]

I appreciate any advices

When I was a little girl, I used to fall asleep in my dad's arms, as he read Greek mythology. As I aged, I especially enjoyed reading history. I found myself quickly captivated by the context of history. l was quickly assimilated to various worlds; I was thrilled at Alexander's victory and bemoaned at Caesar's fall. To me, history was an enormous fountain that I could not stop drinking from. The more I understood history, the more a panorama of images appeared in my head. Though, I felt indefinable reluctance that the rise and fall of a dynasty could be described only by few pages. The grief and joy of ones that came before us were condensed but not fully explained. My curiosities to explore this mankind more in depth started to grow gradually.

In the end, I realized history was all about a reflection of an individual - how he/she viewed the world. One could easily ignore parts he thought were needless and focused on a specific incident. I found that I was strongly intrigued by the histories that were overlooked: other accounts that might completely reverse the general understanding of the incident. Stories were descended by the winners, honoring their conquests and lionizing their heroes. I admit that history does contain some bias, even though objectivity is what historians tend to pursue. However, there is no doubt that history has been a constant motivation to the citizens of world, encouraging competitions and conquests. Everyone dreams of making their mark on history but few have achieved it. I too, desire such honor, and history will tell me which direction to take.

History itself is dynamic and fluxional. It is beautiful and ugly. It tells us that we are not completely independent from our past because it is what has formed us. Infinite possibilities of human behaviors are vividly revealed as well as humankind's repeated flaws. Past, present, and future all reside in History. How can I resist studying this charming subject that nurtured this world?

Undergraduate / NYU - Academic interest - why i chose History? [2]

I'm majoring in History.
Give me any advices and i would appreciate it.

When I was a little girl, I used to sleep in my dad's arms, listening to Greek mythology in his voice. As I age, I enjoyed reading, especially history. I found myself quickly attached to the context of history. The impressionable girl was quickly assimilated to various worlds; I was thrilled at Alexander's victory and moaned by Caesar's fall. To me, history was an enormous fountain that I could not stop drinking. Though, I felt indefinable reluctance that the rise and fall of a dynasty could be described only in few pages. The grief and joy of ones before us were condensed but not fully explained. Curiosities to explore this mankind more in depth started to grow gradually.

At the end, I realized history was all about a reflection of individual - how he/she viewed the world. One could quickly ignore parts he thought were needless and focused on other parts. Yet, at the same time, it was a harsh true that most histories were written by stronger individuals. Stories were descended by the winners, honoring their conquests and lionizing their heroes. I found myself strongly intrigued by the histories that were overlooked: other accounts that might completely reverse the general understanding of the incident. I sometimes resented history that was wrong and completely biased. Whoever the winners were, history has a moral responsibility to provide genuine story for descendants. Hifco, the Historical Fallacy Committee that I joined since my sophomore year aided me to do so. More focused on specific history of Korea, this committee, with its separated department of promotion and execution, reviewed historical contexts of various literary resources and corrected any errors from contexts relating to Korean history. We also published our own version of Korean history resource for foreigners. Yet, not every process was successful. As a student, correcting historical fallacy did have limits; I realized I need more studies in this field to make my voice be considered; a thorough understanding of history completely would better prepare me how to respond specific historical errors. While working on this committee, I found more overlooked histories that are waiting for my attention. Also, I realized that understanding the entire chronicles of this world would be necessary to comprehend histories that are different, unique, and complete. NYU School is where I can achieve such comprehension. It has numerous institutions and resources to provide students a variety of perspectives. Moreover, its liberal culture in New York will aid to understand how the world had developed, centering one of the most historical cities.

History itself is dynamic and fluxional. Infinite possibilities of human behaviors were revealed as well as human's repeated flaws. It tells us that we are not completely independent from our past, as it is what has formed us. Exploring such subject thoroughly would be my long desire as a prospect scholar. I want to make my first start of history in NYU.

Undergraduate / "The rigorous challenge of family climbing" - common app essay [5]

Correct me with any grammatical, content matters.
Thanks a lot!!

Every summer, my family conquered a different mountain and searched for the most famous and highest peaks in Korea. It was my and my sister's job to schedule all the plans before hiking. We did thorough research on our target and prepared this challenging yet daunting journey from carefully looking for shorter climbing trails to diligently packing our bags, including the bear spray in case of emergency. Because my parents left the entire vacation plan to us, we became quite meticulous after having had a few failures due to lack of information. After summiting our chosen peak, our parents treat us to a "real" vacation-a beach, museum or even a conference on aliens. I suppose they viewed it as a fitting compensation for the rigorous challenge of our climbing.

The first few miles always went smoothly. But soon, true to their notorious reputations, the mountains beat down even the most experienced hikers. Also, the fact that I was a young climber--I was about twelve when I climbed Halla, the highest mountain in South Korea --clearly did not benefit me physically. Climbing steep rocks over and over again with heavy packs, I could see the sunshine only after I passed several ridges surrounded by foggy clouds. However, through the views that I witnessed in the mountains-like the moment that golden sunshine gilded the dew on a baby leaf, I found out that each step to the top has its own distinct value and meaning. The hardest part of climb was when there was only thirty percent left to the top. I moaned in such physical exhaustion that I could not move any more, but my parents responded that they would only leave the decision in my hands, including descent if I so chose. Despite a long and agonizing deliberation, I somehow moved a step forward as the previous sufferings were too valuable to throw away.

The moment at the peak of the mountain, gazing at the grandiose panorama was a life changing experience that washed away all the hardships of the entire journey. The endless greenness and its dynamism could only be expressed through a rapture. Previously, I only had considered hiking as one of our family activities. By now, I know how much influence this tradition had on me. While climbing continuously for the single goal of getting to the top, I was learning how to confront and resolve the difficulty I encountered rather than to avoid and escape it. It proved to me that the end of suffering always comes with its corresponding light. Moreover, it vanquished my fear of devoting myself entirely to the objective regardless of its likely outcome.

In addition, another family activity that I do every break is the tradition of Samchunbae, which is bowing three thousand times. This tradition of prayer is considered to be one of the most honorable challenges among Buddhists in Korea, because it tests one's both physical and spiritual strength. When I went to a temple and started bowing, I physically realized that words were easier than actions. My entire outfit got drenched in sweat, and my legs seemed numb yet painful. Anger, irritation, and tears occupied me. I couldn't understand why I was there. "Why am I bearing all those pains? What good would it do to me?" Though, as I went along, I was slowly adjusting to the pain. When I finally stopped any ongoing emotion including rage and grief, there came a moment of a complete blank; my legs were still bent automatically but I no longer felt anything. In spite of agonies and pains of my body, I found my mind completely untainted. What left after the fierce inner and outer agonies was the sole me. The panorama of memories from my past went through my head, and I felt a humble gratitude for everything that had formed me so far. Samchunbae gave me an opportunity to look back myself. It confirmed me how blessed I was just because of living this moment. It demonstrated that struggles that made me so reluctant were only temporary hurdles to achieve my ultimate dream.

I do not think hiking and Samchunbae gave me the omnipotent power. I still struggle, suffer and fail. However, they have supported me not to be discouraged by previous failures. They awakened me to the world that can so easily convince me of my insignificance. Through hiking and Samchunbae, I constantly tested myself physically and mentally. They are indispensable to tell who I am up to now. Now I am excited for upcoming experiences in college will formulate the future me.

Undergraduate / Granny's dear lesson: U Texas essay [3]

I would appreciate every comment. Thanks!

"Granny! Where are you going!"
"There is an important customer coming. I have to go right now and prepare for market!"
It's around 11 PM when the usual quarrel between granny and I occur. I try to cover my deep sigh not to worry my sister, but I know I am already exhausted. Since grandma gets Alzheimer's disease at her early seventies, she often wakes up at night and leaves home. It was my and my twelve year old sister's job to stop her and put her back to bed.

"Granny. Wake up! Please don't do this".
"Hey! Why are you keep stopping me? I have works to do!"
The old woman in shrill voice is not the benign grandma in my memory anymore. Granny is not "Granny" now. She is back at her beautiful, yet harsh youth. The world she sees is not the world I belong. Nevertheless, I could never accept it then. Granny has to stay as my granny. I missed the warmth her wrinkled hands gave and her benign smile I used to receive. I deathly hated the illness that took away my grandma, the closest one who was beside me all the time. It was Granny who first saw me toddling, took me to the primary school, and taught me how to read; her knowledge seemed limitless and the world of my childhood that I saw through her was enormous. Facing the Alzheimer gradually sapping her strength, I didn't want to see her falling apart. What I hated even more was to see myself shouting at her with

In 2007 winter, the situation got deteriorated. One day, she had a major stroke that led her to E.R. On the ambulance to the hospital, she held my hands and said,

"I hope you to live well"
Looking at her eyes, I knew that she recognized me. A fear that dropped vertically to reach the abyss of my stomach struck me. I was afraid that this might be the end. The only thing I could do was to pray desperately that I can do anything to make her stay with me. I burst in tears in regret.

How is she now? Luckily, she is still alive! She is no longer healthy and cannot recognize me, but I can still see her. Although these days, she thinks I am her sister, I can now comfortably talk to her, pretending who she thinks of me. I decided not to disappoint of her change and grieve that she is not who she used to be. I no longer think it is neither God's will nor his wrath. Instead, I accept the condition changing itself and try to have the most positive idea. She is already a big solace just by the fact to be with our family. Her warm smile has not changed. I now can smile with her and is grateful that she can live today. Even when working on chemistry, my weakest subject or struggling in a foreign country, I could still thank of such chances I could have.

Everything has its value just by its existence, so thank this moment you belong; it is the dear lesson from my granny that will stay with me as long as I can stop remember her.

Undergraduate / "the days that we will make in Babson" - Dear my future roommate [2]

Hello This is Babson's supplement essay
" Write a letter to your first-year roommate at Babson. Tell him or her what it will be like to live with you, why you chose Babson, and what you are looking forward to the most in college:"

Could you take a look and give some advice?

Dear Roommate

First and foremost, I would like to congratulate both of us in ending an extensive journey and in settling in Babson, a place where we long desired for. This is a genuine complement for our slow but steady progress we made in high school years. Nevertheless, I know, and I am sure that you would know too, that Babson will be the beginning of another journey. We also know that Babson's endlessly green campus will be the nest to nourish our naïve but grand ambitions. As a friend who will spend together the climactic days of youth in Babson, I want to get to each other more.

I am energetic, positive and adventurous. I welcome adventures that contain adversities or experiences in a completely new environment, because the satisfaction that comes from overcoming such obstacles is exhilarating. You would know what I mean by this; which experience do you think will be considered more valuable by the participants: touring Amazon for two hours or living there for a month? Thinking of all the dangers that exist in wild, can you imagine the feeling of the latter after the survival?

Often, I feel like we all live in the thick forests of the Amazon. It seems to be the only place on Earth, besides the society we live in, that retains breathtaking beauty yet breathless hazard. The world we choose to reside in Babson may be similar to that of this wild nature. We may face various troubles and dangers in paths we choose to take. I always dream of a positive and bright future, but I am not too young to believe that it appears without any efforts. Besides, a painless paradise to me does not deserve its worth. However, whatever kinds of Babsonian we decide to be, I am certain of one thing for sure. Babson will always be the wellspring of limitless learning to encourage us to pursue our dreams. It will be Babson where we start off. The school will remind us of the real qualities of learning with the virtues of its integrity, diversity, innovation, collaboration, and excellence, rather than will teach us by the secular judgment of success and failure. I anticipate many opportunities that Babson provides. By imagining how those chances will improve me, my heart pounds fast in excitement. Likewise, I too, desire to stand for Babson's development. I was strongly attracted by its diverse visions, core values and bright intellectuals. Most amazingly, Babson has students to carry out their visions. If I can take part in making such visions come true, its honor will exceed the value of discovering El Dorado.

Dear Roommate. Now we are about to start our new voyage in Babson. We may succeed or fail, but let's not get scared. We just arrived at the first station of the life, waiting for the next bus to come. If you allow me, I want to be a trustful companion to accompany your journey.. I cannot promise to be a perfect roommate, but I can assure you one thing; I will try my best to be a great roommate. I am optimistic and humorous, so at least I will be able to change your tears into laughs when you are gloomy. Well, I certainly can do more and better things than that, but please wait until we see each other in school. I will look forward to seeing you at orientation.

Last, aren't you excited for the days that we will make in Babson? Everything we do, everything we feel will make up the new pages of Babson's history. I am ready for this, how about you?

Sincerely