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Posts by xblo0x
Joined: Dec 27, 2010
Last Post: Jan 14, 2011
Threads: 6
Posts: 8  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 14
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xblo0x   
Jan 14, 2011
Undergraduate / "How to Improve the Lives of Students at St. Louis Adult Learning Centre" - HELP [2]

Education is very important for an individual's success in life. The St. Louis administration may improve the lives of students by making the following three changes; Implementing manageable class sizes, providing on-line registration and constructing a library for students. Education is important for the economic growth of our nation, so it is important that students at St. Louis have every opportunity to excel. As education is such an important factor in the economic growth of out nation, it is important that the students at St. Louis have the resources need for them to excel.

will continue editing in a bit, have to go to class.
xblo0x   
Jan 14, 2011
Undergraduate / "Juggling Lemons" Common app option 5 [3]

How was I supposed to focus while the kettle was whistling, the water dripping in the hustle and bustle that exist in a tiny kitchen?this sentence doesnt make sense at from "the water... kitchen?" During those times, I stayed in the kitchen and learnt to focus on the task at hand, egardlessregardless of the noise and distractions buzzing around me, I learnt to concentrate on what matters and tune out the rest.

So far i think that this is a good beginning. I really liked how you were going to connect juggling objects to juggling schoolwork, extracurriculars. However, i didnt see many examples of this in the rest of your essay. If you're going to mention it right in the beginning you should show how you did this. Once you include these examples the essay will be more developed. :)
xblo0x   
Jan 14, 2011
Undergraduate / Working together to get it done - Kenyon [2]

Describe an experience when you worked in partnership with others to achieve something you could not have done alone. (300 words)

As we sat in physics my teacher, Dr. Kunar, announced the date of the science fair project. You can do it alone or you can pick a partner, but you have to choose soon. Anna and I gave each other the knowing look and began brainstorming ideas for the project. After a few days we came across a topic we were both interested in, building a model trebuchet.

We started off working on the project on weekends and occasionally afterschool. There was a lot to do right from the beginning: wood had to be cut to the precise measurements, the poster board had to be painted and decorated, and of course for the physics part of it we had to test how far objects of different masses could be flung. At first we were both overwhelmed at the amount of work, but we soon found ways to split it up evenly. Some days I spent cutting wood while Anna did the poster and other days we would switch it up. After all of this was done however, we had to come together to do the testing. Anna would pull the latch on the trebuchet while I would measure the distance. Some nights we had to sleep over at each others houses to get enough work done, but in the end we realized how working together really cut down on time.

On the day of the science fair, I remembered that my teacher had told use we could work alone. I couldn't understand why someone would want to work alone when working with Anna had been such a great experience for me. Working with a partner motivated me to get work done on time and also made the project more enjoyable. In the end, Anna and I won third place in our 2009 school wide science fair.
xblo0x   
Jan 9, 2011
Undergraduate / "a combination of psychology and neuroscience" GWU supp - what influence me to apply [2]

On a blistering hot day I toured the campus of George Washington University. I had heard many great things about GWU; it was socially and ethnically diverse, has a high level of student-faculty interaction and an outstanding educational experience, and its location provides for a wide array of research opportunities. On the day of my visit I was excited to finally see GWU through my own eyes, and I hoped it would live up to the high expectations I had set in my mind. At the end of my visit, almost drenched in sweat, I realized GWU was truly amazing university and a place I could see myself spending the next four years.

GWU has all of the characteristics I have been searching for in a college. It is located in the heart of a bustling city; this provides for more real world opportunities and the resources to not only learn about an intended major but to also grow as an individual. In addition, being in Washington, D.C. would expose me to many different cultures and experiences that I believe will help shape me into a more well rounded and educated person.

I became even more interested in apply to GWU upon researching the available fields of study, particularly at the Colombian College of Arts and Sciences. I had been searching for a college that offers a combination of psychology and neuroscience, and I found this at GWU. Originally I planned on majoring in psychology with a concentration in cognitive neuroscience, but after looking on the GWU website I noticed an interesting program: Art Therapy. This was the first time I was seeing a program that embodied all of my interests. Currently in high school I am taking a psychology course and the highest level of art available, advanced studio art. If admitted to GWU, I would begin with my original intended areas of study in psychology, and then apply to the Bachelor of Arts/Masters of Arts in Art Therapy Program my junior year. I am very excited I found these programs at GWU, and cannot wait to continue my education in them.

In addition to the remarkable educational experience available at GWU, the sense community I witnessed during my tour also influenced me to apply. I saw groups of friends walking around, laughing and enjoying themselves. The sense of togetherness felt on such a large campus with approximately 25,000 students amazed me. This is the type of environment I hope to spend the next four years of my life - a rigorous academic education paired with fun and enjoyable experiences outside the classroom.

Overall, I believe GWU is the perfect fit for me. It will provide me with new social experiences, allow me to become more acquainted with cultures outside of my own, and also great education opportunities. GWU has an ideal combination of what I hope to major in, and eventually have a career in. I look forward to experiencing all that GWU has to offer to me.
xblo0x   
Dec 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "Namaste!" - Stanford : room mate essay [3]

I'm nearly always on my keyboard playing songs by Buddy Holly and the Beatles. and the like.So much so,that when I even played my own composition,my sister presumed and accused me of playing the Beatles.I like them so much that even when I play my own compositions my sister presumes and accuses me of playing the Beatles(this doesnt make sense though)

It is partly because I just keep thinking a lotam a deep thinker .

When I have to work hard, I put in all my energiesenergy and work exhaustively to such an extent that I turn extremely lazy for nearly the whole of the next week. You should leave your laziness out... Its not appealing

I also have a fetish for fusion of cultures in all forms.
And therefore, even in the book that I'm working on, I've attempted fusion. Explain... what book?

Be careful of spacing! In every instance you have forgot to include spaces after punctuation. Also, your essay is contradictory at some parts, and becomes confusing. You should explain some details more (the book) Put some more work into your essay so it flows together instead of just one thought after another.
xblo0x   
Dec 29, 2010
Undergraduate / My dream began.. check-up visits at my pediatrician.. MCPHS [3]

My dream began when I was young and would go to my pediatrician for check-up visits. While waiting for my doctor to come in I observed how kind and comforting she was to the other patients, and I knew then this is what I wanted to be. Not a pediatrician, but a doctor who was always there to help her patients when they needed answers, or had no one else to turn to. For over a year I have been volunteering at a nursing home with Alzheimer residents and have seen how rewarding it is to help others; becoming a doctor would be a way for me to help those in need and give back to the community. Another reason I choose the medical field is because of its continuous advancement and change; the new information to discover and research to be done would foster my love of learning.

Knowing for sure that I want to go into the medical field, Massachusetts College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences would allow me to attend a college completely focused on my career goals. The research projects, hands-on practice and the campus location in the world-renowned Longwood Medical Area, are some major reasons I have chosen to apply to MCPHS. If admitted to Massachusetts College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences I would choose the professional pathway of a BS in Premedical and Health Studies/Doctor of Medicine with The Commonwealth Medical College. Through researching MCPHS I have realized this college is a great fit for me.
xblo0x   
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / violin inspired painting which inspired essay - Common App [3]

I stood in art class holding a large, blank piece of watercolor paper. The assignment was to create anything I wanted, as long as several different art techniques were incorporated. Looking down at this ivory colored paper, my mind immediately began to race. Soon it would turn into something more, something full of ideas which were my own.

I thought of drawing strawberries, or a person morphing into an animal, or even an abstract painting, but I soon realized that I wanted to draw a picture that would have a deeper meaning. I spent a few days thinking of various things I enjoyed doing and seeing, but nothing caught my attention. That night I noticed my violin in the corner of my room while lying in bed, and then it hit me - I would draw my violin!

The next morning, I took my violin out of its navy blue case and snapped a few pictures. During class, I projected these pictures, mounted the sheet of paper to the wall and began drawing. Several days passed and I was finished with a preliminary sketch. Now it was time to paint.

I wanted to stick to realistic colors and paint the violin various shades of brown, but for the background I was free to use my imagination. I began to ponder about the endless options; what could I do on the background that would add to the drawing as a whole? I decided to carve a music staff stamp from rubber and use a matte acrylic to stamp it onto the background. By using this technique the stamped matte acrylic would show up through any water colors applied onto it and complete to the painting. Similarly, the violin, though a part of my past, completes who I am.

I was having trouble deciding which color I would use for the background. Nothing seemed to compliment the mahogany of the violin in the way I hoped it would, and I was not finding any inspiration while sitting inside. Walking around outside one afternoon, I noticed something. The brown color of tree bark, resembled the color I had used for the violin, the green grass, the leaves, and the yellow sun in the sky, all perfectly complimented each other.

Finding these three simple, yet ideal colors taught me that looking more deeply at everyday surroundings can lead to great ideas. By going outside, I noticed color combinations that I might not have thought of if I had stayed indoors. I learned that to obtain what you are looking for you have to be willing to look around, keep an open mind, and be patient.

For several months, this painting stood on an easel in a main hallway in my school. Many people told me how they connected to my painting; peers told me they were reminded of instruments they use to play. Whenever I walked past the painting, I was reminded of all the years I spent playing the violin; all the different opportunities it brought, and people I met through being a part of two orchestras. Through hard work and dedication I was once a guest conductor for my orchestra, was selected to play "Funky Town," and also preformed in a select members band. Art and music, two important aspects of my life, brought many great experiences.

The layers of my painting symbolized the layers in my life, and just as I had ceased playing the violin a few years ago, I was finally finished with the painting. In the end, I painted the violin brown, the treble clef on the music staff yellow, and the background green.
xblo0x   
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "the pride I feel whenever I don my crisp, blue and white uniform" short answer-cheer [10]

"Dancing at football games..."
Cheerleading?

There is not a more exemplary model of the value of hard work than performing a flawless routine at half time and remembering the sweat and sore muscles of the week's rigorous practice.

- I thought this sentence could be reworded better

Now I will always remember the pride I feel whenever I don my crisp, blue and white uniform.
- The now in the beginning of the sentence doesn't flow
xblo0x   
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "the Sunrise Assisted Living home volunteer work" - short extracurricular explanation [6]

My most important extracurricular is volunteer work that takes place at the Sunrise Assisted Living home in Westfield, New Jersey; a home for the elderly and a place for those with Alzheimer's. Since September 2009 I have been going to Sunrise almost every Saturday for about 2 to 3 hours. In the beginning months of my volunteering there I held an art class in which the residents would stop by and make small crafts with me. I would also go to Reminiscent; the unit in which the Alzheimer's patients stay, and play games with them or help the workers serve lunch. In the more recent months I have been helping a retired professor write various articles to newspapers and magazines. In addition to this, I help residents with their computers, go on walks, complete puzzles, and just talk about their days. Currently we are beginning to arrange activities for the new year.
xblo0x   
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "The Mindset" Why Engineering?-Columbia Supplement [3]

- Explain who jeffrey is, im assuming your brother?

- I think you mean "built" not "build"

I think it is strong enough for a 1500 character limit, but if you can think of any better reasons you might want to include them.
xblo0x   
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "Washington, New York, and Boston cities" - BU supplement and short answer [3]

Essay #1: Given what you know about Boston University, what do you hope to accomplish as an undergraduate here? Please respond in an essay of no more than 500 words.

In August of 2009 I visited three cities all with prospective universities; Washington, New York, and Boston. Boston University was the last place I visited, but after spending a few hours on "campus" I knew this was the university I could most see myself attending. The next four years at Boston University some things I hope to accomplish include: studying abroad in a country I have never visited such as New Zealand, continuing my volunteer work, obtaining degrees in neuroscience and psychology, and doing research within the Alzheimer's Disease Center.

Attending a high school that is culturally diverse made it a goal for me to seek for a similar university. Boston University's study abroad program would be the perfect opportunity for me to learn about another culture first hand without interrupting my education. Majoring in psychology, I believe it would be important for me to be able to experience other cultures and their people compared to our western world. Apart from off campus experiences I plan on taking part of the various clubs offered at BU; photography club and culinary club are two which have caught my eye.

Looking through the view book one night I read that BU's undergraduate students completed over 75,000 hours of community service. I was amazed because community service has always been an important part of my life, and BU would allow me to continue volunteering with my peers. In addition to volunteering, I hope to take part in the many research opportunities available at Boston University. Upon hearing about the strong neuroscience program offered at BU I became very interested in applying. When I clicked on neuroscience rectangle under the research tab, my eyes immediately focused on the "Alzheimer's Disease Center" and I clicked. As I read around I knew that if presented the opportunity to attend BU I would undoubtedly take part in this research opportunity. For over a year I have been volunteering with people who suffer from Alzheimer's disease and being able to do research in this field would be nothing short of a dream come true.

My education the next four years involves attaining two degrees in neuroscience and psychology. Boston University's Dual Degree program is ideal for me as it allows me to study both areas equally instead of having to choose to major in one and minor in the other. I want to advance my knowledge in these two areas while also becoming more worldly knowledgeable. Boston University is the perfect place for both because it is located in the heart of a thriving city, and not tucked away from the real world.

Going to a university in the city of Boston would provide me with opportunities outside education. Living in the city I hope to go to performances by the Boston Symphony Orchestra, visit some historical sites, relax on BU beach, and even try the different places to eat. Overall, I hope attending BU will prepare me not only for a career, but also in living in the real world as an adult.

Short Essay: In five or six sentences, tell us how you first became interested in BU and what steps you have taken to learn more about us.

I visited in August 2009 and though the temperature crept up into the high nineties my tour guide, a BU student, showed me through his dedication how great of a place Boston University truly was. Over the past year and half I have attended information sessions when Boston University representatives have visited my school, read many sections of the website and have discovered BU to be a great match for me. A few things that immediately drew me to BU were its low student-to-faculty ratio, the Dual Degree program, the research opportunities, and of course its location. The one reason I really want to attend BU is its strong neuroscience program and all the research centers, mainly the Alzheimer's Disease Center. Finally, I believe it is important for colleges to be located in cities because this allows for more real world opportunities. There are endless possibilities at Boston University, and I hope I will be able to take advantage of them next year.
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