Undergraduate / Vixens + Japanese influence - common app essays [4]

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
This is the essay I drafted for the common app essay. Please comment so that I can write a better one, thanks!

Watching American movies since I was little made me wanted to join cheerleading. It amazed me how the cheerleaders can tumble and do stunts like tossing a person high up in the air. I always dreamed of being one of the persons being tossed, it's almost as if they are flying without wings.

As I entered secondary school, I found out that my school offers cheerleading as an extracurricular activity. This is actually very rare because here in Malaysia, cheerleading is not a national recognised activity. I'm glad that I auditioned for the squad and managed to land a spot as one of the flyers, the one who gets tossed high up in the air. Cheerleading is not just what I do to earn extra credit, it's my passion. I love doing the stunts, because it makes me feel special and unique as not many people can pull it off. The Vixens are not only my teammates; they are my second family also. With them, I had the opportunity to experience the best sisterhood ever. Even though I moved to a new school that does not offer cheerleading, I still keep the spirit in me, and would always pursue my passion if I have the chance.

And this is for the second essay, Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence. (250-500) Please comment for both essays, thanks!

My mother has always played a big role in my life, especially after my parents divorced. She has definitely influenced me in becoming more Japanese than Malay. Since my mother raised me as a single parent, I didn't have anyone to teach me about the Malay culture. So I was basically raised as Japanese, although according to law, I am Malay because I am tied to my father's race. My mother knew that if she were to raise me here in Malaysia, then it would be easier for me if I was raised as Malay. So she enrolled me into a local school in hopes that I would be friends with Malay kids and learn how to be Malay. However, her Japanese influence was still stuck on me. There's a Malay saying that goes 'To bend a bamboo tree you must first start from its shoots', which means that when parents want to teach something to their child, then they must start when their child is still young. Same goes for me, because my mother raised me as Japanese, I am stuck with this influence forever. I prefer eating Japanese and western cuisines rather than Malay because those were the food I ate at home. I don't even know how to cook Malay cuisines, but I know how to cook various Japanese and western dishes. I had a hard time during my first year of school because the boys used to call me names just because Malaysia was once invaded by Japan, but that experience made me appreciate my roots more and I learn to be proud of my Japanese roots.

Undergraduate / What's between living and dreaming? - columbia essay [5]

In my opinion, between living and dreaming, there is inspiration. Without inspiration, no matter how long you live, you are unable to dream because there is nothing to inspire you to dream about something. When you are living, things around you play a big role in inspiring you. Only the living knows how to find the inspiration to dream.

For instance, when you face a problem in living, you tend to figure out how to fix it. That problem inspires you to find a solution and indirectly causes you to dream. Dream is like imagining things to what you want it to be. With inspiration, you can dream anything you want to.

If you have a perfect life, you'll look around you and you'll soon realise that you are unable to dream. This is because there is no inspiration for you to dream. Everything is as it should be; it is as if you are living the dream. Why would you dream about something that is already going your own way? People only dream when they want something to be the way they desire.

Inspiration is important, without it, the world would be just the same. The Wright brothers wouldn't have invented the aeroplane if the birds hadn't inspired them. Seeing the birds flying, made them dream about inventing something that would enable us humans to fly. Thanks to inspiration, we now have thousands of inventions to make our life easier. Without inspiration, living and dreaming are just two ordinary words.

This is just a draft, I hope you guys can comment, as harsh as possible, so that I could rewrite a better one!

Undergraduate / 'you won't stop laughing when you're in the room' - Letter to Roommate [5]

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your roommate-and us-know you better.

Dear roommate,
First of all, if you're not from around here, then don't worry, I'm not either. Let's make this place our new home together. But if you are, then I hope you could help me settle down around here. I may not be your dream roommate, but I'll assure you that I'll try my best to be the best roommate you could ever wish for. Maybe once in a while you'd find sushi on your side table, or maybe some delicious Malay food. Oh by the way, you've probably guessed it! I'm half Malay and half Japanese, and if you happen to speak in Mandarin, then lucky you! I can speak in Mandarin, Malay, Japanese and English. I'm actually a neat freak, but don't worry, it won't affect you in any way, because I would only go crazy if my stuffs are disordered. You can enjoy your side of the room as you wish. I'm the kind of person that respects people privacy so don't worry about having some nosy roommate poking around your stuffs. The first time you meet me, I bet you'll judge me as this quiet timid girl. But that's just the beginning, I'm shy at first, but once you get to know me, you won't stop laughing when you're in the room. So that's a few stuffs about me, I can't wait to finally meet you future roommate!

Sincerely,
Elena

I know it's not perfect yet, please comment so that I can edit it later and make it better :) Thanks!

Undergraduate / Half-blood - uc prompt [2]

Half-blood, that would be the perfect term to describe me, but no, I'm not a demigod, or the half-blood prince. I'm half Malay and half Japanese. I may not be the perfect Malay girl that mother-in-laws prefer, nor am I the perfect Japanese girl, but I know I am special in my own way. People would usually ask me, what are you? I would proudly answer; I am half Malay and half Japanese.

Although my race is considered as Malay because my father is Malay, I am basically raised as Japanese by my mother because my parents split up when I was two. When my father left us, my mother tried her best to raise me as a perfect Malay girl with perfect Islamic teachings. But I guess it's like planting an orange and hoping it would grow as an apple. Nevertheless, I managed to practice Islam as my religion but still have that Japanese influence more than the Malay influence.

My family is quite diverse, I have grandparents who are both Buddhist, and an aunt that's Christian. But that doesn't tear my family apart. Different religions, but it doesn't matter to us, because our blood is thicker than the religion that differentiates us. I used to follow my grandparents to the temple when I was little, and my aunt would buy Christmas presents for me and we would decorate the Christmas tree together. But I know, at heart, I'd always be a Muslim.

As I grew older, I became Malay little by little. I went to a local school and be friends with Malay kids. However, I never grew apart with my childhood friend, a Chinese. There's something about me that others don't really know. I can speak in four different languages, Japanese, Malay, Mandarin and English. My diverse family basically influenced me on choosing friends. I prefer being friends with different kinds of people with different races and religions, because it really helps me to appreciate the uniqueness of every person.

Even though I know that I am Muslim at heart, I am eager to learn about other religions too. In my opinion, I believe that learning is not a sin; it's just a matter of having the knowledge. I think this is also influenced by the different religions present in my family. Though I wish that one of my relatives was Greek, it would be cool to learn about the Olympians. Same God or different, every religion teaches us to do kindness. I feel lucky to have a family as unique as what I have, because I wouldn't be this open-minded without them.

Any helpful comments are welcomed! Thanks.