Undergraduate /
(librarian, dilapidated classroom, an addict) - NYU Supplements [10]
I don't know if I missed any grammar mistakes, but I am more worried about the general content, the mood it sets and the flow of the writing. Thank you!
1. What matters, and why?Fire. It was there at the cradle of civilization, giving us that last push towards the top of the evolutionary ladder, it has seen us through the stone, middle, and golden ages, and it will see our time on this planet die as the sun erupts in a fiery storm. Fire unites us across nations, classes, and languages, and is the archetype of birth and death, passion and conflict and dreams. Even as the one in my fireplace dies, it is reborn again halfway around the world in a bonfire of celebration, or next door as our neighbor boils some water. The licks of flame in my fireplace are the same ones I stared at several months ago in Russia, while a bearded man crooned a soft song of love and war to his guitar and the murmur of conversation ebbed and flowed across the bonfire.
Fire represents humanity's triumph, as we harnessed its power to warm our homes; and it's long road ahead, as we lose control and have to start from the ashes again. It burns in the hearts of all humans, filling them with hopes and dreams and personalities, each as unique and fleeting as a candle flame. It draws us together into one massive firestorm, an unstoppable force that can only ever stop by burning itself out. From the time my grandmother painstakingly taught me to light a match to today me and my father lighting up the fireplace in the old tradition of winter evenings spent together by the warmth, fire has been a constant in my life. As a child, I remember sitting with two sticks for hours, patiently and futilely trying to create a spark. I have been burned several times, but am never discouraged and keep at it until I coax an answering flame from the fireplace. Fire symbolizes my life, fleeting yet part of something greater and bright for as long as its burning, and the entirety of humanity, which too lit up the Universe in a bright flare, and will one day calm down to embers. Fire matters.
2. Roommate letterI am an addict. No, probably not the kind you are thinking of. You see, I am hopelessly, irrevocably addicted to people. This dependence often urges me to make friends with complete strangers on the streets, amass enormous telephone bills with my all-nighters referencing Thai folklore and philosophy with my friend Chariya in a broken mix of Thai and English, and worst of all- will sometimes inherit their quirks and hobbies, whether it be becoming an avid Shogi player or being inordinately picky about my cheeses.
Sometimes my addiction will play a beneficial role, as it did this summer in Russia. Bored, my friends and I borrowed a boom box from a street musician nearby, and started up a dancing event right there on the Arbat Street of Moscow. With styles ranging from Hustle to Hip-Hop, it amassed a hundred people by morning, tourists and locals alike joined in the universal language of laugher and music.
My craving doesn't stop there, but extends to the written word, which I always saw as the true window to the soul. You will often find me happily immersed in a pile of books, sighing at the works of Lermontov, shivering at Nietzsche's passionate if misunderstood philosophy, or laughing in delight at the witty sarcasm of Twain's prose.
I am also sorry to say that my idiosyncrasies will without a doubt affect your everyday life. Whether it will be having the light on all night, immersed in my world of words, or infecting you with my enthusiasm for poetry readings, you will never be the same. Be prepared to be taught eight different styles of dance, eat strange foreign food, and stay up all night discussing anything from living to dreaming to everything in between. If you have any interest in language, I will try to teach you Russian, along with bits of French, Thai, Japanese, and Italian, while learning any you might know.
Well, you have been warned, and I hope that we can get past my crippling addiction to form a friendship to last a lifetime.
Love, Natalia
3. Intellectual VitalityA few months back, I found myself sitting in a dilapidated classroom, a cracked whiteboard bearing diagrams by my side and a rapt audience of over thirty people crowded before me; some crouching on the uneven floor, others leaning against the wall. The setting: a half-abandoned village deep in a Russian forest. The characters: the members of an intellectual summer camp from the Moscow University, students and professors alike. My role: the mediator between cultures and the impromptu teacher of professors.
Four years ago, I got accepted into an obscure camp in Russia, though I didn't realize the impact it would have. There, through the one-on-one discussions with professors following their morning lectures, my own ideas of equality, liberty, and personal ambition unfurled from my unconsciousness into verbal assertions. Whether staying up by the fire all night to debate everything between living and dreaming, or participating in impromptu Shakespeare plays from memory, I continually felt my brain evolve into a sleek, well-oiled machine.
This growth of my personality and the rooting of it deep into my psyche culminated last year when, instead of evasively brushing off a professor's innocuous question about American culture and language, as I would have four years previously, I ended up leading a spontaneous lecture in that cramped classroom. Facing an audience of intent, genuinely interested professors and students, I saw the fruition of both my unique environment, which allowed me to become a carrier of two distinct cultures, and the invaluable experiences of that camp. And later, when two hours had passed and my voice was hoarse, the camp director approached me about leading my own course on American history and culture next year.
In that moment I realized that my experience was not just a trip to a summer camp, but a discovery of a microcosm of my own existence, and the way I face whatever challenges or opportunities come my way; engaging, adapting, and leading.
Choose at least one to correct please, and at least give me a general impression of the others. Do they convey an interesting, unique person, or are they choppy and pretentious, or generic? please give feedback, I will read yours! thanks in advance.