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Posts by unjh4545
Joined: Jan 28, 2012
Last Post: Jan 31, 2012
Threads: 4
Posts: 11  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 15
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unjh4545   
Jan 31, 2012
Undergraduate / 'As an introvert' - a person essay is past boyfriend appropriate? [3]

Hi,

I like your essay. well-written and has clear point.
If I were you, I might add something about what you want to do when you get into a college.
Like you want to join certain club or sorority and what not.... Because you are now more comfortable making friends, you want to expand that while at college...

good luck !!

p.s. can you look at my post as well?? (the newest one) I do need to clarify some things and I am having hard time... :(
unjh4545   
Jan 31, 2012
Undergraduate / (well-known pharmacy school) - this paragraph to improve [NEW]

Hi, can you help me with this paragraph? I need to make it more clear... I am sure there are some grammar errors as well.

I would appreciate all the help!
Thanks in advance!!!


MCPHS is well-known pharmacy school that has long history and great reputation. I have always learned that connection is important and having lots of alumni with successful careers is certainly a plus for a young alumnus. I am sure of that many students at MCPHS have chosen the school because of its location. And, in my case, it is a one of the biggest reasons. MCPHS islocated in Longwood area where Harvard medical school and affiliated hospitals are. Not even that, MCPHS gives an opportunity for PharmD students to do their internship in Longwood area hospitals, which is amazing.Moreover, Boston is known as mecca of biotechnology.As a pharmacist, you can go into pharmaceutical industry and work with other scientists to develop new medications. Thus, I do believe that being in Boston and beinga MCPHS alumnus will give me lots of opportunities in both career and connection wise.
unjh4545   
Jan 31, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'They follow what their heart say' - Childhood Dreams essay [3]

Children are very enthusiastic and energetic. they learn from seeing seeing stuff things. As they see explore a new thing, they start thinking about it and if it is of their interest or if it gives them some interest. they just want to get it or want to become like that.

In younger age, every child has some a dream. some want to become pilot, some want to become doctor and or some want to become musician.

in during childhood, most of the children want to become a pilot. as the see an aeroplane airplane they want to fly it (I don't know what you meant hear). an aeroplane airplane or any flying animal makes them happy and they want to fly with them. they start visualizing themselves having wings. they think that if they would have wings so they could also fly.

some children want to become a doctor to help people. they like equipment, which are along withused by doctors, they want to have those equipments and play with them.

some children want to become a musician. they want to be famous like musicians. they are crazy about music equipments like guitar, drums etc. when they go to any exibition they want to buy more number of equipments and they convince their parents to buy some equipments.

children love to follow what their heart say. they have many dreams. they think that as they grow they want to become a part of it

There are some grammatical errors as well as wording issues. Also, you need to use capital letter for the very first word of the sentence. I did not correct every single thing because im not native speaker. Good luck!
unjh4545   
Jan 29, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'being a pharmacist' - which paragraph is better? [3]

Hi, Which one do you like better? Also, if you have suggestions to make it better (e.g. grammar, annotation, wording...), please let me know!!!

Thanks in advance!!!


Because of the amount of responsibilities it requires, being a pharmacist is a profession far harder than one might think. One little mistake on measuring the medication can be potentially fetal. Also, pharmacists must know what many of the medications do and if there are any side effects and incompatibilities with other medications that the patient might be on.

OR

Because of the amount of responsibilities it requires, being a pharmacist is a profession far harder than one might think. They must be very careful that they have measured the medication correctly, because one little mistake can be potentially fatal. And, they pharmacists must know what many of the medications do and if there are any side effects and incompatibilities with other medications that the patient might be on.
unjh4545   
Jan 29, 2012
Undergraduate / (delete "During my years in the *** lab? - how to make it shorter and effective [3]

The most important aspect of pharmacy to me is that it portraits my interest in biological science and research. I worked in laboratory of Dr. Pinghua Liu at Boston University from junior year. From then, research became part of my daily routine and I enjoyed the process of learning and applying new information, the day to day activities, and group-dynamic. Working in research has thought me a strong proponent of teamwork and collaboration that take advantage of everyone's strengths.

[i]During my years in the *** lab, my main focus was **** project. I performed various experiments including cell growth, protein purification and activity assay to prove this enzyme truly works as one.[/i] My research experience in past years allowed me to obtain invaluable knowledge by working in a research group at the graduate level. Now, I am more familiar with group dynamics and effective communication, which are, I believe, qualities needed as a good pharmacist. The project was a success and the paper has been accepted to Journal of American Chemical Society and my name is listed as a co-author.

One person suggested me already that I should delete "During my years in the *** lab, (...) this enzyme truly works as one (italic+bold part)" to make these paragraphes more concise and effective.

What do you every one think?? Are there any moderators who can help me with these???

Please help and thanks in advance!!!!
unjh4545   
Jan 29, 2012
Graduate / 'the health care system' - Pharmacy school essay [5]

A1C PD,
I always wanted to do ROTC when I was in US. I did not have chance cuz i am not american. I am interested in military service and I do think it is a very interesting job to have.

If it does not require U.S. citizenship, I am certainly interested in it :) Oh, FYI, I am female... lol

Thanks for your help !!!
unjh4545   
Jan 29, 2012
Undergraduate / 'enjoyed studying the human mind' - Help with Common App Essay [2]

You used 'missionary' a lot in this essay. Well, redundancy is not good in college essay... you need to find different words or paraphrase the sentences.

Like here: I am a missionary kid. That means that my parents are missionaries and that I belong in the 'missionary family.'
In these two sentences, you used the word "missionary" 3 times already... use thesaurus or dictionary to find better words.

And when I was writing my common app essay, I did have a title for my essay. I don't know how you submit your essay thesedays (for me, it was uploading system), if their system as when I was using it, have a title that sum up your essay in 3-4 words.

Hope this helps...

p.s. I see that you're korean... me too :) good luck!
unjh4545   
Jan 29, 2012
Essays / Tips on writing UBC Supplemental for Business? [4]

hello,

I think your question is too broad.... If you listed a topic that you have chosen or something like that would be helpful for others to answer your question.

In my case, I have always used my own story for college application essay. (Not a business major) I used story telling format. But, it always isn't a good plan if you don't think you have a good and dramatic story that you can share and attract the reader.

And for supplemental essay, if they ask me why UBC(British columbia?), then I might say that I love the city of Vancouver. (I do love in my real life) And list what I love about vancouver. Also, in my case, I do love snowboarding and all sorts of winter sports (Ice hockey). So, I will say that I love whistler and I know that UBC students can get cheaper bus ticket to whistler and since the Bus leaves from UBC campus, it is always a plus. And for hockey, i would say that Vancouver canucks is my favorite hockey team and being able to go to their home game while at UBC is very exciting...

I don't know whether I answered your question in the way that you've wanted. I hope this helps though.

Please look at my post as well !!
unjh4545   
Jan 29, 2012
Undergraduate / Research essay for Ryerson's Radio and Television Arts - confused about format [2]

If you are writing a research essay, don't start from the intro.

Since you chose Spiderman from 1967, like you did before, compare and contrast 3 things that you think is important. Just like you would normally write compare/contrast essay.

After you think your 3 body paragraphs are finished, try to sum up the paragraphs and write conclusion part. This shouldn't be hard because it is just summarizing and paraphrazing.

The hardest is the first paragraph. I think you should write why you chose Spiderman. And what you think about the techniques, values and themes from "Old version" Spiderman.

I think you should start writing the essay first to see how far you can get. I do believe that once you set in front of the computer, you will write something. I think for anyone, sitting in front of the computer is harder than writing itself.

Good luck on your essay!
unjh4545   
Jan 28, 2012
Grammar, Usage / "I regretted knowing the school.." / "Being a pharmacist" - sentence grammatically correct? [5]

(Being a pharmacist probably is much harder..) - correct structure of the sentence?

Being a pharmacist probably is much harder than it looks and I am aware of that it is a profession that requires lots of responsibilities.

I don't think this sentence is well-written but I have no idea how to improve it. This is the first sentence of a paragraph so it need to be clear. Can you guys please help me out??? The length-wise, please do not make it longer... I would appreciate your help!

THANKS!
unjh4545   
Jan 28, 2012
Graduate / 'the health care system' - Pharmacy school essay [5]

I have erased my school info and personal information just in case. I hope that is okay. I do need to make it bit shorter and I am pretty sure there are some mistakes on grammar since English is not my first language. THANKS for your HELP!!!!

I am excited about my choice to enter pharmacy school. Throughout my life, I always wanted to pursue a career in the healthcare field and I set this goal for myself long ago. After considering a number of careers, I finally found a way to achieve this goal. With my avidness of advancing my study, love of research, and eager to help others, I believe that pharmacy is the perfect career. I have taken the appropriate steps in terms of curriculum and performance to enhance my progress toward my goal of entering this noble profession.

The most important aspect of pharmacy to me is that it portraits my interest in biological science and research. I worked in laboratory of ****. From then, research became part of my daily routine and I enjoyed the process of learning and applying new information, the day to day activities, and group-dynamic. Working in research has thought me a strong proponent of teamwork and collaboration that take advantage of everyone's strengths.

During my years in the****lab, my main focus was ******* project. I performed various experiences including cell growth, protein purification and activity assay to prove this enzyme truly works as one. My research experience in past years allowed me to obtain invaluable knowledge by working in a research group at the graduate level. Now, I am more familiar with group dynamics and effective communication, which, I believe, are qualities needed as a good pharmacist. The project was a success and the paper has been accepted to Journal of American Chemical Society and my name is listed as a co-author.

Like science and technology, field of pharmacy is always evolving. So much of what I enjoyed about research carries over to pharmacy through clinical advancements to new medications and plans for patients' treatment. Because of the integration of science and health care, a pharmacist has employment prospects in a broad range of specialized career options because pharmacists work not only in drug stores, but also in hospitals, can develop careers in clinical pharmacy, research, etc. After completing the Doctorate in Pharmacy, I would love to pursue clinical pharmacist path, to become an expert in the therapeutic use of medications or go to graduate school and major pharmacology to open even broader career prospects in pharmaceutical industry as well as teaching students.

Lastly, I chose pharmacy because pharmacy is an important part of the health care system. You are a part of the system and have a chance to help people. There has been steady increase in the number of people consuming both preventative and restorative medications. However, there are not many people who know how to take them adequately. I believe Career in pharmacy will allow me the opportunity to be more consistent and comprehensive in an individual's health care regimen. Moreover, it seems like lots of individuals have multiple clinicians involved in one's health care; however, a patient generally only sees one pharmacy or perhaps two. Patients have access to their pharmacist for medication advice without having to make an appointment. And, pharmacists often times also provide other services such blood pressure monitoring, cholesterol screening, flu shots and many others for their patients. These merits in health care involvement as a pharmacist developed even stronger desire inside of me about becoming a pharmacist.

Being a pharmacist probably is much harder than it looks and I am aware of that it is a profession that requires lots of responsibilities. They must be very careful that they have measured the medication correctly, because one little mistake can be potentially fatal. Pharmacists must know what many of the medications do, and if there are any side effects and incompatibilities with other medications the patient might be on. All these make me more excited and proud of myself. Becoming a pharmacist will allow me to pursue my dreams. I want to provide accommodation for those in need. I want to be a part of making a healthier future for everyone. Like most curious and conscious consumers, I like to know the mechanism of action, the indication, the side effects, behind the brand they are consuming. Thus, I look forward to the constant challenge of keeping up with current publications and make it more useful to others. I have the spirit of keeping an open mind and I think it is crucial to maintain this through all of my experiences. The possibilities are endless in the pharmacy field and now, all I need is a little luck.
unjh4545   
Jan 28, 2012
Student Talk / How to enhance my English? [52]

well in my case, since I love watching TV series (american), I do watch them with english subtitles. NOT my own language. You can listen better and understand better. And, you will learn some good and useful idioms or words that you can use in your real life. I don't know weather it will work for you or not but in my case it did.

I did study english for a long time and since my first english teacher was american, my pronunciation is pretty good though I do have accent from my language... but learning to speak or listen better, I got lots of help from TV.

my friend told me that CNN is much better but CNN is boring... because it is all News as you know.

Good luck!!!!
unjh4545   
Jan 28, 2012
Research Papers / How can I publish my research paper with ISSN number? [2]

you actually need to submit your article to a publisher such as Nature or Science and they will review your article and let you know whether it is accepted or rejected.

Without that step, you cannot get any ISSN number or anything similar to that to prove that your article has been published. As you know, school admission officers do actually look for the article via web because pretty much all schools have the access to well-known journal articles for free or very little cost.

Hope this helped.