Undergraduate / 'political science and Obama's field office' - Cornell- college of arts and sciences [3]

The follow is an essay I just contrived. I like the content very much, but I am thinking Im missing the last part of the prompt, which is "how will I utilize Cornell's resources?" Now I'm at 510 words, so I could easily cut a couple of sentences, but Im wondering what I could add to the conclusion to make it seem like this essay just isnt for ANY college.

Thanks a bunch,,,,,NEED IT FOR TOMORROW...lol...thanks.

College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

Since I was a child I have always been intellectually curious. When I was little I would pride myself on solving math puzzles in a book and understanding mathematical concepts in the classroom before most of the other students. But as I have grown my interests have changed and my interest in studying mathematics at a university has diminished. In middle school, I was driven to become an architect so much so that I decided to attend a six week summer architecture program at Carnegie Mellon University. The experience showed a light upon my future; a light that made me realize that the career wasn't the best for me. My experience at Carnegie Mellon made me more hesitant to declare myself a future doctor, economist or engineer. So I find myself applying to Cornell "undecided", but not without an intellectual interest.

My newest, most passionate interest has been in political science. I was driven to this interest, in part, by my U.S. Government teacher. His ability to open discussion in the classroom helped me harness this new interest and develop my ideas. His lessons, as well as my ideas in politics, drove me to become an active participant in the 2008 presidential election.

I found out through a neighbor where Barack Obama had his nearest field office. I showed up at the office one weekend right before the election not knowing what to expect. As I walked in I was greeted by a man and a woman who were running around; organizing pamphlets and telling other people what to do. They quickly tended to me and told me that they needed someone to do "calling sheets". I had heard that these sheets had a list of people and their phone numbers. You were to call and ask who they were voting for, if they needed help to get to the polling places, and if they could bring any friends so that the campaign managers would get a sense of how Sen. Obama would do and, of course, to increase voter turnout. The first sheet I received was for some obscure place in Pennsylvania. As a person who hates to get calls from telemarketers, I was nervous as to how people would receive my calls. As it turns out, the first person I called wasn't very interested in Obama and quickly ended our conversation. I learned, however, to deal with such responses and was pleased when I could inform people of where to go. Although my role in the campaign was miniscule in comparison with the candidate's, I felt that I did something and that through some higher learning and more political interests I could accomplish great things.

For this reason I am applying to Cornell University. Cornell provides a world class education and an array of opportunities. Although my interest in political science is not concrete, I feel that if I were to pursue it further, I would come out of Cornell with the world at my disposal and the knowledge to pursue the great things that I strive to achieve.

Undergraduate / BU essay - a trip to Boston [2]

Prompt- Students consider many factors when applying to college. Briefly discuss who or what influenced your decision to apply to BU.

Last summer I took a trip to Boston to celebrate the end of my junior year in high school. I had been to Boston several times before, but I increasingly anticipated the visit because I was going to visit Boston University. Upon arriving on campus, I was struck by how the school was situated; branching off in the center of the city while holding its roots by the shores of the Charles River. My mother and I participated in the information session and the subsequent campus tour, and I became infatuated with the school. I learned of the hundreds of school organizations and the involvement that the school has in the community. I learned of past students, namely Martin Luther King Jr., and the prestige that Boston University has in collegiate ranks.

After finishing the tour my mother and I asked one of the students if we could have a list of restaurants near by the school. She handed us a pamphlet that had the names of dozens of restaurants. My mother and I chose a Vietnamese restaurant that was a block from the campus. As we had done in our past college visits, my mother asked me what I thought of the school. I told her that the University was exactly what a wanted; a diverse school with immense opportunities that was situated in a small city. The small city part was very important to me, as other schools that I had been to were either very small, or had no history. In Boston I would have everything at my disposal; a world class education, phenomenal social opportunities and a taste of the big city.

Walking around campus that day and later going to a Red Sox game, I envisioned myself living in Boston and experiencing the city. When we walked over to the stadium I felt at home. Growing up a Mets fan and experiencing the baseball "community", the walk to Fenway felt natural. Overall, this was one of the best experiences in my life, and I hope to be able to feel the same way for four years!

Undergraduate / Upenn Essay- the academic, social and athletic networks [6]

Need help to see if I answered the question and whether I have any glaring grammatical errors.
Thanks in advance.
Prompt- Describe the courses of study and the unique characteristics of the University of Pennsylvania that most interest you. Why do these interests make you a good match for Penn?

I have experienced the college campus life before during summer programs at universities like Carnegie Mellon, Dickinson College and St. Mary's College, so I know what is important to me in a college atmosphere. Whether lounging in my dorm room or studying in the colleges libraries I expect adequate facilities, and I know I receive even better at the University of Pennsylvania. To me, the academic, social and athletic networks at a university are very important and are necessary in order to thrive.

During my six week summer stay at the Carnegie Mellon University I divulged in a world class architectural education. With tenured professors that gave me one-on-one interaction I learned how important a good professor can be. At the University of Pennsylvania I can expect exemplary professors that enhance my learning. At the Wharton School, especially, students such as I are privy to the minds of professors like Dr. Franklin Allen and Dr. Jeremy J. Siegel. To be able to learn at an institution that has been recognized as the best business school in years past would be an honor and would harness my intellectual abilities. At the College of Arts and Sciences I would also be able to learn from some of the best professors in the world. With Drs. William Harris and Richard Johnston as political science professors I would be able to learn from their research in the field. At a university I not only look for a place where not only the education is excellent but where the ability to research is present. With fifteen libraries amassed with 4.5 million volumes of literature, group study areas, computer lounges and seminar rooms I would be able to accomplish such studies in a comfortable setting.

At St. Mary's College in Maryland, I enjoyed a socially active three week stay in which I made dozens of friends. The campus quads were welcoming, the walks along campus beautiful and the dorm rooms homey. Such an environment made St. Mary's City not just my house for three weeks, but a home. I know that I can feel the same way at the University of Pennsylvania. During my visit at the university I went through Locust Walk and saw the beauty of the campus on an early summer morning. The walk resembled the St. Mary's College path and it made me want to just sit down on a bench and take it in. Although I was unable to enter one of the dormitory halls of the campus, I have heard of the great community that is forged at W.E.B. Du Bois college house. As a hall with main quads, exercise rooms, a library and a computer lab, I am sure I would feel right at home.

I would also be interested in the universities wide array of social groups and clubs to help myself and other students feel more at home. The Civic House would be a great utility for me because the Civic House acts as a social "hub" for Penn students and I would be able to engage in community service programs while also meeting new people on and off campus. Using the resources of the Office of Student Life, I am sure to be able to fill my time with activities in groups such as the Model Congress and other political organizations as well as the Men's Club Volleyball team.

The University's study abroad program is also something that has attracted me to the University. As a person who likes to see new places and experience different cultures, the ability to study in a foreign culture is exciting. With familial roots in Ireland and Spain and a great interest in England being able to study in those countries would be an adventure for me but also challenge me to adjust.

During my three-week stay at Dickinson College in 2006, I was treated to a rather adequate education in chemistry but was very pleased by the wide array of athletic fields and services. Almost daily I would trek over to the football field on campus or another field in town and play with friends. My greatest interest in athletics is baseball, but I also enjoy football, fencing, volleyball and table tennis. At the University of Pennsylvania I would be able to harness and enjoy all of these sports whether as a casual participant, observer or varsity athlete at any one of the University's facilities. I would be especially interested in the facilities at the David Pottruck Health and Fitness Center. Here, I would be able to do some recreational swimming, shoot some hoops and maybe challenge myself to some rock-climbing. The Center sounds like an all-in-one facility for rigorous or recreational athletic activities.

As a whole, the University of Pennsylvania forges an excellent balance of academics, social opportunities and athletics. As a leader in these fields, I can anticipate to attain a world class education while enjoying myself at the gym or in my dorm. Some universities may have a world class education or an exceptional social network, but Penn provides all three. With an efficient, yet aesthetically pleasing environment, I will be able to learn and research while also being able to join social groups and admire the beauty that is Philadelphia.

Undergraduate / Upenn- name a Penn Professor with whom you would like to study.... [2]

Help with general idea/clarity/grmmar.
Prompt-name a Penn Professor with whom you would like to study or conduct research and explain why.
When looking for a professor from which to learn from, I want one that is involved with current problems and is searching for understanding of these problems and ways to fix them. As one of the leading contributors to the financial world, Dr. Franklin Allen of the Wharton School provides lessons as a professor and as a writer. As the current global financial problem has been growing, Dr. Allen has participated in numerous conferences to help share his vast wealth of knowledge to people and to other leading professors. Dr. Allen stands out as a researcher with his involvement in research in areas like corporate finance, economics of information, and asset pricing. I, too, would like to conduct research and share my findings with the world and seek to study under professors who do the same. It would be an honor to be able to study under a man who has been awarded for his excellence in teaching and prides himself on financial research.

Undergraduate / NYU Supplements- all 5, help with strenghts/weaknesses [9]

Need help with strenghts/weaknesses. Any tweakings of my message would be great. I also need general grammatical help.
Prompt- NYC is an essential element of academic and cultural life here at NYU. If you could engage in an activity or start a club, or service organization at NYU, what would it be and how would you envision it impacting the larger community?

As a New Yorker I know the immense diversity of the city and the importance of getting to know people. One club that I would be especially interested in would be the Commuter Club. Since the club specializes in giving students the opportunity to meet and socialize, I would join to meet new people and to help others meet people as well. I would also be interested in the Model United Nations, where I could discuss with others the issues of the day which spreads knowledge throughout the community.

------------------------------------------------------------ --------

Prompt- Please tell us how you spent most of your summer vacation.

I spent most of my summer vacation worrying out about college. I visited several schools; namely the University of Pennsylvania and Boston University. The visits were informative, but they didn't ease any of the anxiety that there is throughout the admissions process. During the summer I also went to Mexico to visit my family. The trip was very relaxing as I had plenty of fun with my family; playing board games and reminiscing about things that had happened since we had last gotten together.

------------------------------------------------------------ --------------

Prompt- Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

I selected the Stern school because of its educational rigor and leadership in the business world. After participating in my school's Youth Leadership Forum for four years, I have decided that I only want to apply to schools that exhibit a direction that will help me enhance my leadership qualities. Given Stern's prestige, I will be exposed to countless opportunities in business and hope to be immersed in research programs like the Salomon Center for the Study of Financial Institutions.

------------------------------------------------------------ ------
Prompt- Describe a trait or characteristic passed along to you by your family. Tell us why you like or dislike this aspect.

Although the characteristic of being insistent is usually shown negatively, I am proud to say that I have had this trait passed on to me by my family. My grandma is 95 years old, and she pushes herself to continue living so that she can see her loved ones for even a day longer. My mother is insistent too as she pushes me every day; whether it is to do my homework or to join a club. This trait, often seen as one of "naggers", is vital to my life and a quality I would never hope to get rid of.

------------------------------------------------------------
prompt- You have been selected to sing at a talent show. What song would you sing? Why?

My selection would be "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel.
This song would be perfect for me because I don't have a great voice, the song is really fun, and the song is very well known. I would have plenty of fun trying to remember all of the words of the song, but because of my inadequate singing I would have to rely on the audience to pick me up and sing with me, masking the terrible noise that would be coming from the microphone.

Undergraduate / Common Application Essay- Free Response [5]

I love to debate myself. Yes, it sounds strange but it is something that I love to do. I like to take a topic, usually one that is talked about in the media, and juxtapose both sides of the issue in my mind. I contrast the two stances and see which side has used the best logic to defend its position. Then, I come up with a point of view on the issue with a combination of my mind and my heart. When I finally formulate my opinion I look for an opportunity to discuss the matter with someone, who usually ends up being my mother.

Until recently, I kept these battles, of sorts, in my mind. There were no outlets that I could find to express my ideas: no clubs at school and no public forums either. Eventually I stumbled across an internet message board that allowed me to say what I wanted, on issues such as politics, and provided the contrasting views of others. These conflicting opinions opened up discussion between message board posters and encouraged me to truly analyze my thoughts. These arguments provided a challenge, because to me there is no greater trial than to try to articulate your beliefs to others. However, the site was completely anonymous and allowed only for typing, not speaking. I still yearned for a more public environment in which to communicate my ideas.

This past fall I enrolled in an A.P. United States Government course and it has turned out to be my favorite class of senior year. It is taught by a man who introduces political discussions in the class, and does an excellent job of making you not feel so foolish when you utter an obtuse comment. It was a perfect time to enroll in the class because the 2008 presidential election was right around the corner.

To help the students better understand the issues at hand, our teacher held numerous open debates about matters that came up regularly during the campaign. As a result, I could no longer hide behind a keyboard and a spell check and have unlimited time to analyze my thoughts; I had to synthesize my ideas quickly and create the words to express myself fully. I promptly became acclimated to my new environment and was able to counter points by my classmates without hesitation.

After these experiences, I feel that by establishing my beliefs through a personal process, I am able to better understand myself. My ideas reflect my values as an individual, these values stemming from my mind and my heart, and ultimately culminate from these thoughts and those of others. Although many of my ideas do not stray from mainstream thinking, I am proud to say that they come from within.

Looking to see what people think are my strong/weak points and what grammatical tweaking I can use.