BachChaconne2
Jun 18, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'change the world?' - What would you tell your founding fathers prompt? [104]
Ask yourself this question: Am I writing from my heart or writing what I think they want to hear? If it's the latter, then your essay may sound disingenuous.
Furthermore, did you review their judging criteria? As you write your essay, try to follow these guidelines:
Suggestions for this and other drafts:
1) Talk more about the founding fathers than on individuals who were affected by them. On the other hand, you want to thank them for their historic contributions and profound effects on individuals in the 20th century. Whatever you ultimately decide, keep your essay concise and focused.
2) Be specific. Consider adding concrete details such as events, discussions, and debates.
3) Maintain the rhetorical effect of asking questions or making statements between paragraphs.
4) If you want to change your essay, you could think of other ways of communicating with the founders. (Your current essay speaks to them through spirit.)
5) Writing tip: First write down all the things that you want to tell the founding fathers and, then, create an outline supporting those statements. This will help you structure your essay. By the way, the winning essay has an average of 14 words per paragraph. Space is limited, so make sure every word counts.
But do you know how to make it more creative? I think my sentences are sort of grouped like a normal essay, no sense of creativity or that free sense of writing. I am participating in a writing contest, and this girl was the winner of last year's writing prompt. This year has a new writing prompt. But look at the way she writes, with so much creativity.
Ask yourself this question: Am I writing from my heart or writing what I think they want to hear? If it's the latter, then your essay may sound disingenuous.
Furthermore, did you review their judging criteria? As you write your essay, try to follow these guidelines:
JUDGING CRITERIA:
Knowledge of the theme is worth 30 points: You must show a thorough knowledge of the theme in your work. Demonstrate you have researched the issue extensively.
Theme development is worth 35 points: Answer all relevant facts about the theme such as the who, what, where, when and why. Relate the theme to your own experiences.
Clarity of ideas is worth 35 points: Write your essay in an easy-to-understand format. Leave your reader with a clear understanding of your explanation of the theme.
Knowledge of the theme is worth 30 points: You must show a thorough knowledge of the theme in your work. Demonstrate you have researched the issue extensively.
Theme development is worth 35 points: Answer all relevant facts about the theme such as the who, what, where, when and why. Relate the theme to your own experiences.
Clarity of ideas is worth 35 points: Write your essay in an easy-to-understand format. Leave your reader with a clear understanding of your explanation of the theme.
Suggestions for this and other drafts:
1) Talk more about the founding fathers than on individuals who were affected by them. On the other hand, you want to thank them for their historic contributions and profound effects on individuals in the 20th century. Whatever you ultimately decide, keep your essay concise and focused.
2) Be specific. Consider adding concrete details such as events, discussions, and debates.
3) Maintain the rhetorical effect of asking questions or making statements between paragraphs.
4) If you want to change your essay, you could think of other ways of communicating with the founders. (Your current essay speaks to them through spirit.)
5) Writing tip: First write down all the things that you want to tell the founding fathers and, then, create an outline supporting those statements. This will help you structure your essay. By the way, the winning essay has an average of 14 words per paragraph. Space is limited, so make sure every word counts.
