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Posts by headshot0313
Joined: Dec 29, 2012
Last Post: Jan 13, 2013
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headshot0313   
Jan 13, 2013
Writing Feedback / Greenhouse Effect;GSPIA ESSAY- International problem [NEW]

Provide a brief analysis of what you consider a national or international problem today.

(character limit is 5000) Any suggestions PLS!!

Greenhouse Effect Paper



As climate change and greenhouse effect intensify, carbon emission reduction has become the focus of international world. According to the prediction of Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), CO2 emissions come from human activities will increase from 271Ă-108t/a in 1997 to 950Ă-108t /a in 2100, and the volume fraction of CO2 in the atmosphere will also increase from the current 360Ă-10-6 to 720Ă-10-6 in 2050. In 2007, China surpassed the US as the world's largest greenhouse gas emissions country. in November 2009. And then in November 2009, Chinese leaders showed the determination to save energy, cut costs and curb climate change: China will cut the carbon emissions per unit of GDP by 40~45% of 2005 levels by 2020. Hence China is now under enormous pressure in the work of carbon emission reduction. However, China is in the stage of rapid industrial development, and has a strong demand in energy has strong demand, thus is necessary for us to analyze China's energy structure to find useful resolutions.

China's energy situation is summarized as "rich coal, lean oil, less gas," which indicates that the coal industry is the most important part of the nation's industrialization, and China's coal-based energy structure may stay remain unchanged in the future for a very long time in the future. So the coal industry will no doubt shoulder the main task to reduce the carbon emission. Information from the coal consumption has showed that the top five carbon makers (in proportion) are: Electricity and heat production and supply, Black metal processing industry, Oil and nuclear fuel processing, Non-metallic mineral manufacturing and Coal mining and washing industry. Especially, as the development of economy, the percentage of the CO2 emission volume from coal-fired power, coal chemical industry the electric power and the coal chemical industry will continue to rise. Thus more attention need to pay to the carbon reduction of those sectors.

In order to reduce the carbon emission, we need to adhere to the actively advocate the international new reducing technology. At present, China's coal industry has promote this career by exploiting mine gases, recycling ventilation air methane (VAM), and develop technology like carbon capture and storage (CCS).

Here, I am interested in CCS particularly. Firstly we separate and purify CO2 from Coal-fired power plants, and then we transport the carbon to the burial site and store it. When the relative market is generated and formed, we may even sell the carbon. So in this way not only people can realize the goal of carbon emission reduction, they can also create new industrial chain, which is a win-win situation.

The issue of climate change derives from the excessive emissions of the greenhouse gases, and the traditional fossil energy is the biggest source of those gas emissions. Coal is China's Basic-resource supports the country's social and economic development and China's coal-based energy structure may last long, therefore whether the coal industry can effectively implement the carbon emission reduction is of great significance for completing the overall carbon emission reduction index. I'm optimistic about this.
headshot0313   
Jan 8, 2013
Writing Feedback / Which way is the best for a student to make new friends? (TOEFL) [3]

Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends. a. joining a sports team, b.participate in community activities, c. traveling

Any help is appreciated! Don't be afraid of pointing out every error.
my chinglish is quite serious. Please help me to correct my writing pronunciations
As making friends becomes increasingly significant in recent years, debates have been raised regarding what is the best way for students to make friends. Would it be joining in a sports team, taking part in the community activities, or taking a vacation? Personally, I would prefer the first choice, because compared to other two choices, sports team provides us with more opportunities to meet others and possibilities to develop a long-lasting friends.

Definitely, sports allows students to meet and make friends with a large arrange of people. When first entered a basketball team, you might practice with old players from different grads, you might be tutored by experienced coach who might have been coached for many years, you might meet beautiful cheerleaders running and dancing to give you fuel. Once you enter a spots team, you enter a new world, and this world provides you with many new people you can make acquaintance to.

In addition, when playing in a sports team, all the members of the team will have a common goal to fight for, and in order to achieve this goal, all the members must learn to cooperate with each other. In this way, students can build up a precious experience of cooperation, which is crucial to a long-lasting friendship. The moment of kicking the ball into the goal is forever the classic moment remains in all the team members'memory. The smiles and the tears run down the faces witness not only the success of the game, but also the solid friendships which will last all the life.

Aren't there any possibilities of developing friendships by other means? Of course the answer will be yes. Students can make friends who will be with them to deal with problems they may meet every day by participating community activities. Also on the road, students can find friends who can share their happiness of traveling with each other. But if you want to find a lot of true friend that when you are in need they will give you a help, attending the sports team will be a good choice.

In sum, although community activities can help to make friends near to daily life, and friends you made on the trip is the one you can share happiness with, attending a sports team allows students to meet a great arrange of people, and enable students to develop long-lasting relations. Therefore, I am convincing that joining a sports team will be the best choice to make new friends.
headshot0313   
Dec 31, 2012
Writing Feedback / Which of the following contribute most to an enjoyable vacation? TOEFL [2]

Which of the following do you think contribute most to an enjoyable vacation: 1. good food 2. good location 3. good friends to travel with. Select one and give your reasons.

ANY SUGGESTIONS IS APPRECIATED.~~
As traveling becomes increasingly significant in recent years, debates have been raised about whether the food, location or the friends that travel with is the most crucial element of a good vacation. Personally, I care about good friends when traveling, for they can offer me a lot more help, different kind of appreciate prospective, and most of all, the sunny day.

Definitely, safety is a key factor that we need to pay attention to when traveling, and it is safer to travel with your friends who you trust and can help you when needed. When you are using the toilet, friends would to take care of your bags. When you are mistreated by local people, friends would stand by your side and argue with them. Even if you are stolen, friends could at least give you a warm hug so that you won't lose your sense of safety. If you take a vacation only with yourself, you need to watch out and always keep vigilant, which as a result may damage your good mood and never let you be relaxed.

In addition, traveling with friends makes your vacation more efficient and help you save a lot of money. It is know to all that paying for the hotel by oneself is very expensive that most of the time people should pay a large part of their vacation budgets in the hotels. However, when I am with my friends of the same sex, we could order only one room and share the expenses equally. In this way both my friends and I could benefit from the share and save a lot. Also, When I am traveling with my friends, everyone of us has the specific task, like arranging the time or planning the route. Through this cooperation, we only need to care about our own respective task and try the best to enjoy ourselves, and our time is precious time is greatly saved.

Isn't there any benefit of traveling alone? Of course the answer is yes. It is not denied that traveling by yourselves allows person decide where to go and what to do as he or she likes. People would have more freedom when they are in a place that no one knows them. While friends are the people who can comfort you when you are sad, talk to you when you are boring, share their happiness when noticing something interesting.

The joy of the journey is not in reaching the destination, but in the ride. Traveling with friends makes the you safer, makes the journey more efficient. Although going alone is more free at times, friends is the one who would always be with you and make you happy deep inside. Therefore, friends contribute most to an enjoyable vacation.
headshot0313   
Dec 31, 2012
Writing Feedback / ESSAY: Is there a good reason to be impolite (rude) to another person? [8]

IT IS A DIFFICULT TOPIC FOR ME, I MUST HAVE MADE MANY MISTAKES. PLEASE HELP ME ~
As courtesy becomes increasing important in recent years, debates have been raised among those who states that it is acceptable to show impoliteness for some reasons, and those who think that it is inappropriate to be rude to others no mater when it is. Personally I am the latter kind of person, for that in my view, bad manners really cause harm to our relationship with families and friends, our working efficiency, and the future of the political and business area.

When staying with families and friends, your impoliteness would really hurt others' feelings. These are people who you care about and who care about you. Those are the most important humans all your live, so don't use your rudeness to hurt their feelings and their love for you. Generation gap does exists between you and your parents that you may find problems when communicating with them. They might send you a ginger sweater as your birthday gift while you don't like this color at all and think this gift is terrible, or they may consider working in your hometown is the best choice while you just want to go outside and understand what the another world looks like. But your confliction doesn't show that you could be impolite to your parents, because it is only for your good that they consider these issues.

In addition, impoliteness might leave a bad impression on others in a work environment, that no one would be willing to work with rude dudes. Especially when handling stuffs in political and business areas, politicians and leaders should make positive and kind impressions on the public and staffs, since what they represent are not only themselves, but a company, a state, and even a country. What they represent is groups rather than individuals. The negotiation won't success if the two sides show rudeness to each other and alliance could not stay long if the two leaders lose their friend relations.

Isn't there any reason of abandoning showing tenderness? Of course the answer will be yes. It is not denied that holding a tough stance at times could let others know you are a person who is brave and cannot be humiliated. But it is not mean that rudeness is good, that to some degree the best way to show politeness and braveness is to be a gentle man of iron.

In sum, impoliteness would hurt people who you care about when you are with your families and friends, and can damage the future of the group in the work environment. Although sometimes abandoning being tender could be a brave movement, it is never a good reason to be rudeness.
headshot0313   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / MY BAG - Stanford Supplement/What matters to you? [3]

Thank you for reading my essay~

Although my English is not so good, buy one of my feelings for your essay is that:
If you review your essay vertically, you would find the head of almost every paragraph is I. Maybe you could change your sentence structure properly.~
headshot0313   
Dec 30, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL ESSAY:Joining organizations and clubs is as important as academic class? [2]

Please help me, it is a TOEFL essay~~ thx~~
As college life becomes increasingly diversified and colorful in recent years, debates has been raised among those who state that participating activities and clubs has the same importance as their own classes, and those who still consider their academic projects should be the most important things. Personally, I am the former kind of person, for that in my view, extracurricular could bring students with good friends, social and working skills, and of course could enrich students' life.

Definitely, organizations and clubs make people easy to become friends, even good friends of others. They have the same appetites and hobbies, hence they could play or chat together and have fun. They have the same goal to achieve, hence they could work hard and fight together and trust each other. Organizations and clubs create opportunities for them to be with each other, which is beneficial to enhance their friendship. As members of an organization, students work not for the money, but sometimes for make acquaintance with others and have a good friendship.

In addition, entering the organizations and activity clubs enables students to learn a lot of working and social skills. Take students' union for example. When students enter students union the first year as associates, they follow the instructions from their own chair and try to make the best preparation of every activities they are assigned. In their first year, they could gain many useful fundamental experiences and know a lot about how to be more efficient when they enter the society several years later. And in their second and third years working in the students' union, they mainly play important roles as the manager and leader of the community; they would decide what kind of activities they are going to hold, and how to chase the union's future.

Isn't there any benefit of pay attention to the academic class? Of course the answer would be yes, that it cannot be denied that study is very important for every student. Study hard helps us be good quality people, and having completing the academic demands we may find satisfying jobs. People who overemphasize their activities may be addicted and receive a bad score, while those who can balance their organizations and studies would probably have colorful spare time a promising future.

In sum, organizations and activities could help students make good friends who may really helpful and learn precious knowledge and experiences which are beneficial to their nowadays life and their future. As long as people find the balance of the study and activities, they would always have colorful lives.
headshot0313   
Dec 29, 2012
Writing Feedback / ESSAY: IN ORDER TO DEVELOP THE ECONOMY, WE CAN IGNORE THE ENVIRONMENT ISSUES. [4]

ANY IDEA IS APPRECIATED. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
As environmental problems become increasingly severe in recent years, debates have been raised among those who assert that humans should take effort to protect our earth and slow the economics, and those who still think that humans should make progress in economics regardless of the environment issue. Personally, I would prefer the former idea, considering the purpose and the bases of the economic growth, and its relationship with environmental protection.

Definitely, the purpose of economy development is to improve the quality of life; we look beautiful for we have used the high-tech beauty cares, we eat healthier for we can buy those nutritious stuffs from the supermarket, we enjoy the fresh air in New Island for we earn more and can afford the expensive plane ticket. However, if humans pay too much attention to develop the economy and neglect our precious environment, they would finally find that no matter how many beauty cares women have used, their dirty faces cannot be disguised, the food is no longer nutritious, but full of chemical residual, and the ticket is of no sense any more, for the PM2.5 in New Island is far exceeds the standard. These awful results tell us that, if humans want to improve their life quality, environmental issues should not be ignored.

In addition, the development of economy to a large degree depends on the natural resources, if nature is hurt by humans' ignorance, she would give humans a critical strike in return. Flush with cash, people in mid-east live a luxurious and fulfilling life. Nevertheless, if they only care about how to exchange the native oil with others and earn money rather than choose a way of sustainable development, there must be someday that they find the oil is exhausted, and nothing could sustain their previous life any more. Thus, nature is our solid foundation of economy development, if the basic issue is neglected, people would face the collapsed economy someday.

Does it mean that it is not important to develop the economy? Of course the answer will be no. If humans concentrate too much on the environment, economy would be stuck. As we all know economical foundation determines the superstructure, that without money, our dreams would be very difficult to be realized. Now people have find the balance between economy and environment, and we can find the answers from the terms like cleaner production, recycle economy, and ecological agriculture.

In sum, if humans neglect the importance of environmental protection, they hardly can acquire a better life, they would probably damage their base of development, and they would lose the chance to receive a considerable and meaningful development. Therefore, environmental protection should not be neglected.
headshot0313   
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / academic rigor and competitiveness/ best students; Columbia SUPP/ Why Columbia? [7]

Personal opinion:
If I substitute any other school for Columbia, I find that this essay could also be sent to other schools, my English is not so good, but after reading this essay, but I wanna let you know a feeling of mine that if I were the officer, I would think this essay could be sent to many other schools if replace the school name...
headshot0313   
Dec 29, 2012
Writing Feedback / ESSAY: NOWADAYS YOUNG PEOPLE ARE MORE WILLING TO HELP OTHERS? [6]

Thx~~~

The most familiar analogy to young people is often the sun at 8 o'clock, for they are the most energetic and kind generation among human beings. However, their energy and kindness is less likely to be delivered to others, for they would find that not only the social atmosphere but also their own time issue would be the blockages for them to do so.

Have you ever seen the spectacular scene in the career fair? As the population is peaking in recent years, finding a place to work is becoming harder for many young adults. In the past, those who have undergraduate degree would probably be placed at a relatively hight position, in today's generation however, all the undergraduates are facing the same question: unemployment. Thus they must spend more time, actually a big part of their time to prepare for themselves, to compete with others, and finally find a job to support their family. In this case, those poor guys even don't have the time to relax or have a good rest, not to mention helping others.

Apart from their own factors, Sometimes youths choose not to help others simply because that they are scared of helping others, for there are many negative examples of the results of people's kindness. When crossing the street and happening to see old is falling down, teenagers are forced to keep in mind that before they making a step and holding the old, they must make a judgment about whether the old would unexpectedly accuse themselves as the one who pull he or she down, and whether the old would ask them to pay for the medical treatment. In general people would avoid making trouble for themselves, and hence instead of helping the olds, young they would rather walk away.

Further, young people might be angry about the action they ever did to help the poor. Take the typical event "GUO MEIMEI" for example. After noticing that there is someone who had embezzled a great number of the donators' money to buy Maserati, BMW, Dior, and many other luxuries and uploaded their photos to the Facebook, China's young people are totally raged. Many of them swear that they will never donate any money later. This event tells us that the social atmosphere leads to the less unwillingness of helping others.

Does it mean that there is no people who is selfless and would like to devote without asking something in return? I think the answer will definitely be yes. From the bottom of our soul, we all hope to have a good acquaintance with others and we could be ready to be friends with others.

In sum, I believe that it is the harsh situations that make our young people too stuck by all kind of things, and they are afraid of even angry about making any contribution to the society. Therefore, compared with humans in the past, young people today are less willing to help others.
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