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Posts by able_Person
Joined: Apr 5, 2013
Last Post: Jun 24, 2016
Threads: 5
Posts: 9  
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From: Shanghai

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able_Person   
Jun 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / Should government invest more money in a city infrastructure instead of public transportation? [2]

[TOEFL]Should governments spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should governments spend more money on improving public transportation (buses, trains, subways)? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

Any comments or suggestions are welcomed. Thanks in advance!


To satisfy the needs of the development of our society, some people argue that governments should invest more money in the infrastructure, while some advocate that more money should be spent on improving public transportation. Personally, I am convinced that good public transportation plays a bigger role in the modern society for the following reasons.

Needless to say, the development of our society is largely at the expense of the environment. However, a city with good public transportation will markedly decrease various pollution. For example, if a city has a well-established and convenient transportation network, then most people will undoubtedly choose public transportation over driving their own cars due to lower cost and higher efficiency when they want to go out. In that way, fewer tail gas will be emitted because there are fewer cars on the roads. Furthermore, with more and more people becoming environmentally conscious, tendency to use public transportation instead of driving private cars will be popular among them, which will dramatically decrease the air pollution and restrict gas emission. As a result, building an efficient transportation network is particularly crucial for the whole world to reverse the growth of the greenhouse effect.

What's more, a city with good public transportation will make people's lives safer. For example, most car accidents result from over-crowded traffic condition, drunk driving or delinquencies. Supposing a city has an efficient public transportation, most people will probably choose to take buses or trains, as opposed to driving themselves, when they want to dine out or participate in a party as they do not have to worry about drunk driving. Consequently, they can better enjoy their lives and meantime, fewer tragedies will happen on the road.

Based on the argument mentioned above, I have come to the conclusion that government should spend more money on public transportation. After all, a well-designed public transportation network will not only make people's lives safer but also make the environment better. Therefore, I call on the government to increase the investment into the public transportation.
able_Person   
Jun 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / Debate about whether to teach children competitiveness or create a spirit of cooperation in them [4]

Hi Tran Ngoc Khanh Neu, here are some of my suggestions. I hope it will help you:)

Since MUHAMMAD ILHAM has already give you a good example of the introductory part, I will try to re-write some parts in the rest of your essay.


admittedly, we are living in a society like a rapid-fire race and require us-candidates- constantly compete with others.
It is no denying that we are living in a society where we have to constantly compete with others.

children should be informed of this soon and provoked their potentials.
Hence, it is important to nurture a sense of competition among children ...
the most major benefit of competition is that the kids can explore enormously with their abilities to achieve the greatest results.
One of the biggest benefits of competition is that it help children strengthen their various capabilities, which is crucial for them to achieve greater success in the future.

In fact, most top-achievers are ambitious people who are never afraid to collideconflict with others.
I think 'collide' is often used when describing a situation like a meteorite hitting some planet.

however, the drawbacks of this feature are seriously considered, as people ...
However, the drawbacks of this feature should be also took into consideration, as people claim that it may create an adversarial relationship between children and their friends.

Cheers:)
able_Person   
Jun 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / I strongly advocate that it is more preferable for students to study together, instead of alone [4]

[TOEFL]Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of students. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Any comments or suggestions are welcomed. Thanks in advance!


Some students believe it is better to study alone than it is to study with other students, with which I disagree. From my perspective, I strongly advocate that it is more preferable for students to study together, instead of alone, for the following reasons.

To start with, studying together can help students develop their social skills. Some people may argue that studying with other students can be less efficient because of many distractions such as noise. However, they completely ignore the fact that students who prefer to study alone also miss the chance of sharing what they learned in the classroom and what kind of research field is attracted to them. These sharing experiences will drive students with the same interests to form their own studying group and may even lead them to conduct specific researches together in the future.

What's more, studying together can strengthen students' team-work spirit. After all, it is a well-known fact that teamwork is the cornerstone in the current business world. Students who study together will have more opportunities to cooperate with other students, which enables them to learn how to work with others over time. Therefore, it stands to reason that students who have a good idea of teamwork are bound to assimilate into the culture of the company more rapidly after they get hired. For that reason, they will be more likely to have a good performance in the long run.

Based on the arguments mentioned above, I come to the conclusion that studying alone will cause students more harm than good. With the development of our society, we have to set a higher standard for the graduates, which means they should know how to gain knowledge through books and through practical experiences. Therefore, studying together doubtlessly gives a good opportunity for students to enhance both of these skills at the same time.
able_Person   
Jun 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / Internet is something that people use to make their live become easier. IELTS TASK 2 [4]

Hi Grahyta24, here are some of my suggestions. Hope it will help you:)

Internet is something that people use to make their live become easier.By using Internet people can make their lives more convenient.AlmostMostpeople in cities use internet everyday in their activities and there are some people cannot do their activity without using internet.Your sentence is good. I just make it more direct and clear. Nowadays Internet have such a great impact on people's daily life that some people cannot live without it. Although internet makes information more accessible, I think notI do not think that all information in internet is true and suitable to know that probably cause criminality.is convincible and some of them which is extremely violent and inappropriate can even drive people to commit serious crimes.

Cheers :)
able_Person   
Jun 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / [Toefl] School with low-budget should cut P.E classes or art and music courses? [4]

Hi phanhblue2007, here are some of my comments. Hope it will help you:)

While some people argue that schools with a lack oflimited funding or teachers should ...
As far as I am concerned, the second group's point is preferable for these following reasons.I am in favor of the latter argument for the following reasons.

... one do not necessarily need art and music courses in order to grasp the basic knowledge of them. what don't you give a more specific example to support your idea here? I think it will make your point more convincing. For example, students can enhance their abilities of appreciating music by listening to the musical channel.

... or play sports on their own, they could seriously get hurtsuffer serious injuries . However, in a physical education class, they can be correctedthose risky behaviors can be prevented by the teachers and thus avoid injury. Indeed, eliminating physical education classes wouldwill not be a reasonable option ...

What's more, physical education and sports bring about a plenty of important life lessons for youngsters.Your sentence is good. I simply make a suggestion here. The lessons youngsters learned from the physical education and sports are very important.

Moreover, it boosts one's self-esteem.Achievements in sports can give students a great sense of proud.

Cheers:)
able_Person   
Jun 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / Having a good college roommate will unquestionably make our college life more colorful and joyful [3]

Please give me some constructive advise for essay. Thanks in advance!

TOEFL: Many students have to live with roommates while going to school or university. What are some of the important qualities of a good roommate? Use specific reasons and examples to explain why these qualities are important.

Whether you admit or not, having a good college roommate will unquestionably make our college life more colorful and joyful. However, what are some of the good qualities we can often find in a good roommate? From my point of view, I strongly advocate that qualities of a good roommate are a combination of honesty, intelligence and empathy.

To start with, being honest means that you and your roommate will treat each other with integrity instead of sabotage
each other behind the scene. As a result, you can fully trust your roommate if you desperately need a honesty feedback from your roommate on which you may feel uncomfortable sharing with your parents. For example, assuming you failed an exam, you did not know where things went wrong and wanted to hear some ruthless but honest feedback to help you pass the exam next time. In that case, you can always count on your good roommate who knows your studying habits and are willing to make some constructive suggestions to you.

What's more, being intelligent also plays a big role in being a good roommate. For instance, it is common to be inspired by some of your roommate's ideas when you are discussing your dreams in the dormitory late night. Furthermore, you and your highly intelligent roommate may have a good chance ending up creating the next Google or iPhone. Please bear in mind that knowledge is power.

Third, being empathetic will undoubtedly make your roommate the first person you turn to when you are having a hard time. For example, you had a big fight with your parents over a trivial thing, which made you feel upset and distressed. Then, you turned to your roommate for a comfort to alleviate psychological damages who you knew from the past would support you and give your confidence. Those psychological motivations and empathetic understandings will give you a boost in the real life.

In conclusion, based on the three reason mentioned above, I am convinced that qualities of a good roommate are made up with honesty, intelligence and empathy. Additionally, I hope all of us will turn our good college roommates into lifelong friends who will constantly stand by our side no matter what situations we are facing.
able_Person   
Jun 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / Children should be encouraged to study a foreign language from elementary schools already [4]

Hi ahmad_zuli, I hope my following suggestions will help you advance your writing skills further and ultimately get you pass the IELTS exam.
Most of your sentences are good. I simply modified several sentences to make them more straightforward and clearer:)
Here are my suggestions:


Many people thinking about to learn aforeign language for the children beginnning from earliest grades is necessity.
Many people advocate that it is extremely important for their children to learn a foreign language in the earliest grades.

Personally, I agree with the idea that stars to learn foreign language for children is as well as early teaching.it is better for the children to learn a foreign language as earlier as possible. Sorry, I am not sure I explicitly express your idea here.

BecouseBecause I more lakelylikely to believe study language needing habit too. Because I am more convinced that a good learning habit also plays a big role in studying.

According to John "the children born as white paper without any scratch there. Good, you quoted a nice sentence from John to make your point.

Therefore, adaptability learning language from child truly builds the language habit and makes easier to learn it. Therefore, as children are picking up a new language, not only are they establishing their learning habit but also they are enhancing their adaptability in other foreign culture.

Cheers:)
able_Person   
Jun 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / The best way to reduce the number of traffic accidents is to raise age limit for the younger drivers [6]

Hi Alara, personally I think it is better to make your argument direct and clear. So I did a little re-write of your second paragraph. Hope it will help you:)

By and large, owning to their lack knowledge in regard to traffic rules and lack practical experience,there is no shadow of doubt that youngster drivers are more inclined to trigger the road accidents.

By and large, I firmly advocate that young drivers are more likely to cause the traffic accidents due to their limited knowledge of traffic rules and little practical experiences.

In the course of attending in the driver license course they will get acquainted with the traffic signs and road rules that the lack of these knowledge often presents as the main reason of road accidents.

By studying these traffic rules carefully, young drivers will not only improve their security awareness, but also let them know the importance of complying with the law.

Furthermore, I strongly suggest that the structure of your supporting paragraph should look like this: a personal opinion + a specific example to support your opinion. In this way, it will make your argument more persuasive and convincing.
able_Person   
Jun 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Help proofread on a section of my Toefl essay "teachers should attend courses every 5 years." [8]

Hi, natasha_139. I did a little re-write of your essay. I hope it will help you!

Primarily, taking courses regularly allows teachers to update their academic knowledge.
Here, I introduced a specific example to support the idea.
For example, several ideas do not even exist 10 years ago like App development, social media management, cloud computing service and so on and so forth. As a result, teachers also have to take specialized courses to enhance their understanding of these new ideas and technologies. So that they can give students satisfactory answers when they feel confused.

Here I put up with another example to further support your primary idea.
Plus, not only will teachers learn new knowledge from these training programs but also they will get a good chance to communicate with their colleagues about teaching skills, which play a big role in school education as well.
able_Person   
Apr 6, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL:(Dis/agree) Most difficult experiences will become valuable lessons [3]

Life Difficulties Lessons



Please give me some constructive advise for essay. Thanks in advance!

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most experiences in our lives that seemed difficult at the time become valuable lessons for the future. Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

There is a famous old saying that failure is the mother of success. For that reason, some people advocate that some difficulties people met at their early ages will become an invaluable fortune in their future lives. However, some people think it isn't supposed to be that case. From my point of view, I am in favor the former statement that some tough experiences people met before will be helpful in their life path.

To start with, hardship makes people realize how to cherish and compliment the common but wonderful little things happened in their life such as, a shining weather, a delicious breakfast and etc. People who have such nice spirit usually know how to find the true love in their life instead of being seduced by greed as to lose themselves in the end. As a result, experiences of difficulties teach them how to keep a nice mood and have confidence all the time.

What's more, people who experienced lots of difficulties will be calmer when they are in troubles. Because they already have such experiences of overcoming some difficulties, they are conscious of what to do and how to do when fierce crisis happens. Those people are more likely to achieve their ambitions in their career because they are aware of how to lead people to reach success despite what kind of difficulties are getting in their way.

So, to sum it up, both not afraid of difficulties and appreciating common but pleasant things in their lives drive me to believe that most tough experiences in people's life path will be a priceless treasure to them. Remember if you are afraid of encountering difficulties, then you will be in the troubles all the time.
able_Person   
Apr 5, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: If you were an employer, which kind of worker would you prefer to hire? [3]

Thank you for the time to read my poor article. I'll very appreciate if you can give me any advice. Thank you again!

If you were an employer, which kind of worker would you prefer to hire: an inexperienced worker at a lower salary or an experienced worker at a higher salary? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

In today's job market where there are various workers that can satisfy the demand of all kinds of jobs. Some employers claim that they prefer inexperienced workers at a lower salary to experienced workers at a higher salary, with which I disagree. From my point of view, hiring experienced workers at a higher salary not only lifts the working efficiency markedly but also reduces the cost of management in the long term.

First and foremost, compared to recruiting an inexperienced worker at a lower salary, there is no doubt that hiring an experienced worker at a higher salary will definitely make the company run more smoothly. As an experienced worker who has accumulated a lot of working experiences, communication skills and experiences of failures know what kind of role he is supposed to play in his company. Meanwhile, his boss also has a better command of how to get along with an experienced worker rather than an inexperienced worker like a student who just graduated from the college. This kind of win-win situation will undoubtedly build up a favorable atmosphere for work and raises the working efficiency up to a new level. The high salary paid to an experienced work is just a small price for what he or she does offer.

What's more, apart from improving the working efficiency, I believe that hiring an experienced worker actually will reduce the cost of managing a corporation. Think about if. Suppose a HR hires an inexperienced worker because of the lower salary paid to the worker. In the short term, it seems that a company simply needs to pay a little money to the worker. However, besides the salary, we cannot ignore the cost of training an inexperienced worker into a skilled worker, which involves cost of time, money, failure and etc. Those costs all should be took into account when a HR recruits an inexperienced worker. In contrast, an experienced worker has already known how to reach the goal or target the manager set for him. As a result, the aggregated costs of hiring an experienced worker are much lower than hiring an inexperienced worker.

In conclusion, it is a wiser choice that a company chooses to employ an experienced worker instead of an inexperienced worker because of the lower aggregated costs and the preponderant working efficiency. So, I am convinced that employing an experienced worker at a high salary will be better than hiring an inexperienced worker at a lower salary.
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