Writing Feedback / toefl: multiple short breaks are good for children to do well in their school life [3]

Which one of the following you think is a better choice for education of children: one month break after every three months of school or three months break after continuous nine months?

School plays important role in our lives. Education which we receive from the school determines the level of our success. In the process of educating children some school gives one month break after every three months of school while others provides three months break after continuous nine months. In my view, I think one complete month break after every three months of school is better for several reasons.

One of the most important reasons is that children can learn in more efficiently and effectively by the above system of the school. During short breaks children can do various activities like short trips with their family, go for a picnic or play different kind of sports. When children return from their short vacation they would feel relaxed and actively participate in school activities . They feel rejuvenated and can concentrate more at their study. For example, I and my elder sister studied in same school. During our school days when we were a child we used to have one long vacation . We felt exhausted and tired within few months and didn't concentrate in our class. Everytime we wished for a vacation. So, the performance of our school in final exam was very poor in comparison to the students from school who had a system of many short vacation. This experience taught me that the numerous short breaks provides stronger learning environment for students.

The second reason is that children will feel bored when they get long break. Children love to play games or have fun for short time only . They have no patience to do any things for longer time. For instance, when I was in a California I had a neighbor who had two daughters who used to come to my place frequently. During their three months vacation initially they looked very happy as their vacation just started. As one month passed they had nothing to do new as they were already done with the things which they wanted to do. Their parents were busy with their work and they were left alone in home. They used to come to my place but they didn't look happy though I tried my best to involve them into different activities. After long vacation they joined the school and first few months they performed well in school but later they didn't show interest in th eir study as they had to wait long to get another vacation. As you can clearly see, how the long vacation cause negative impact in the mind of growing children.

In the sum, the multiple short breaks are good for children to do well in their school life. Not only it provides better learning atmosphere but they also feel energetic to do well in their study. All the school must try to provide many short vacation to the students.

Writing Feedback / Life comes in different shapes and sizes; staying in one place or moving- choice [4]

Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives ,looking for a better job,house,comunity,or even climate.Which do you prefer:staying in one place or moving in search of another place?use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

Life comes in different shapes and sizes .People have variety of aims when they live.For achievement of these goals some people likes to spend their entire lives in one place while others like to move a number of times throughout their lives. As far as I am concerned,I prefer to move to different places for several reasons.

One of the important reasons is that I want to learn more from variety of people by travelling. I can communicate with new people and know about different things which will enhance my knowledge. For example, two years ago,when I was in my hometown, I used to go college nearby my home.I had a monotonous life as everyday I had to deal with same people everywhere. I came to university of California for my higher studies and I got opportunity to talk with many students. The college offered multiple degrees so it had a diversity of students .Fourty percent of students were native while others belonged to different Asian countries ,Europe and Africa too.I interacted with them and came to know about culture, customs, languages, traditions and many more.This example clearly shows how people can learn when they move to different places.

The second reason is that we can get a good job opportunity when we are ready to move to different places.For instance, my husband used to work for information technology company in India.He worked there for two years.He wanted to work for bigger company so he had applied for various positions in different projects in multiple companies in America.He found a nice ,high paying job .So,he decided to travel and grab this opportunity.This example taught me that people don't like to stay in same place for a long time as they look for good fortune.

In sum,most of the people like to travel to different places.Not only they can learn about lifestyle of new peoples but they also can get better job.We all should move to new places if we need a good opportunity in term of job,community or even climate.

Writing Feedback / Earning of money differs from person to person; 'money doesn't give success' [NEW]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful.

Money is important for our existence. All the things which we need in our daily activities can be bought by money only. Earning of money differs from person to person.Some people believe that only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Others disagree. As far as I am concerned ,the success of our lives is determined by other several important qualities.

One of the important reasons why money doesn't give success is that people are successful only when they get happiness from their work.For example, when I was in Newyork one year back,I worked for the reputed business company as a manager.They paid me a huge amount of money. I used my salary for buying luxurious house, latest model car and went for vacation abroad. But I was not happy as I had too much burden from my work. As a manager, I had lots of responsibilities for completing the project work.I had a very hectic work schedule.Some times it needed me to work on weekend to finish my task.The business work didn't satisfy me though I had millions of money. My friends , relatives and neighbours considered me as successful but I don't think so. This experience taught me that people can be counted as a successful if they have inner satisfaction from their work.

The second reason is that we get success when our dream comes true. Everybody has a aim in life, like donate money, climb a mountain, pass the exam, help those in need.For instance, yesterday while I was going through the magazine I found interesting article.It had published the biodata of the most successful person in the world and many of them were not wealthy but they had achieved their goals .Some people were considered successful because they climbed the tallest mountain in the earth while some because they volunteered for disadvantaged people. This example clearly shows that there are many other criteria which determines success of our lives.

In sum ,there are many people who are successful although they don't earn a great amount of money. Not only being satisfied in work determines success of one's life but also when they achieve their goals. We all should earn money for our living.

Writing Feedback / Toefl - enforce limit the use of automobile for the betterment of our earth [4]

Some people think that the automobile has improved modern life.Others think that the automobile has caused serious problems.What is your opinion?

Technology plays a significant role in our lives. Nowdays it is found everywhere so we cannot avoid it's influence .Automobile is one of such technology which is being used in every part of world.Some people think that the automobile has improved modern life. Others disagree. In my view, quality of our lives has decreased due to use of automobile for several One of the important reasons is that invent of automobile has caused negative impact in our health.These vehicles like buses,cars and trains produces smog, dirt which leads to air, water and land pollution.These pollutants has adverse role in our body.For example, many of my friends run in the morning to keep their body healthy.Yesterday ,I heard a news from CNN which reported on a result of research. It mentioned that runners are more likely to get exposed to harmful effects of polluted air as they breathe air saturated with toxins .These chemicals on smog are risk factors for the diseases like lung cancers,skin cancers.Though runners are only one example,every human in this earth can suffer from various illness due to automobile. This example taught me that there are some disadvantages of having automobile in our existence.

The second reason is that increasedin number of automobile has produced inconveniency in our life. We cannot reach places like office ,hospitals and other places on time due to traffic congestion. For instance,I remember last week I had my presentation in university for my final exam.It was very important for me as my overall score depended on it.Unfortunately, I got stuck in traffic jam for two hours and reached late to the university.It was embarrassing moment for me as I couldn't give my presentation though I had given my best effort.This example clearly shows that increased number of automobiles are not good our lives.

In sum,the automobile has not improved modern life. Not only it has caused serious problems in our health but it also has adverse effects in our daily activities. We all should try to limit the use of automobile for the betterment of our earth.

Writing Feedback / Toefl - 'members can learn more' - live a life without any burdens [NEW]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is better to be a member of a group than to be the leader of a group.Use Specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Both member and a leader plays a significant role in the group.The success or failure of the work depends on the performance given by both of them. Some people believe that it is better to be a leader of the group .Others disagree.In my view,I would prefer to be member of the team for several reasons.

One of the important reason is that members can learn more. When we work in a team as a member we get chance to interact with other individuals of group. We can share the views, clarify our doubts and improve communication skills which will lead to enhancement in our work capability. For example, when I was in university of California ,we had a science professor. I could remember about the research on breast cancer which he had assigned to our group .The topic was difficult which required multiple group discussions and interactions with all the members. All of us spent couple of hours in library after school to collect the data everyday.I was confused about many subtopics and was having tough time to know about it in detail. With help of my group I could understand it. When the research report was ready we submit it to the leader of our group.This example taught me that by being member of a group we can broaden our different skills.

The second reason is that members can work without pressure and can give full concentration to work. The leaders have many responsibilities about the task and they may not be able to think and work better. The member who is free from such worry can perform best. For instance, last weekend we had a basketball competition with students from another state. Each of us tried our best to win the match. But my leader was pressurized by the university that our team should win anyhow. As a result, though we were playing well our leader couldn't give us better guidance and strategy to win. Finally,we lost our game.This example clearly shows that leaders life is not free from tensions.

In sum,it is better to be a member of a group. Not only it helps us to learn more about things but it also provides us opportunity to live a life without any burdens.We should all know the importance of member in a group.

Writing Feedback / Toefl - Language plays a significant role in our lives [4]

Do you agree or disagree with following statement?children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school.

Language plays a significant role in our lives. Different jobs and places require people to speak multiple languages .Some people believe that children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. Others disagree. In my view, schools shouldn't hurry to teach foreign language to students in their junior classes for several reasons.

One of the important reason is childrens are not mature enough to make right decision about the correct languages they wan't to learn. They have not experienced the real world .So,they wont be able to choose the best language if they are given opportunity to learn new language.They may end up wasting time on learning language which isn't necessary for them. For example, when I was in fifth grade in the school of my hometown, we had to take foreign language class. I didn't have any idea about the importance of languages.I decidede to learn French language .As I graduated from university and I found that it would have been better if I had taken Spanish class during my school days.

Most of the job had a requirement of a Spanish language.I had tough time searching the job for me.This experience taught me that children may not take good decision about languages they want to speak.

The second reason is that learning new language in school may not be effective. Speaking multiple language requires practice on daily basis. The teachers who takes language class may not be native speaker and so students won't be able to learn fast and in accurate way. For instance,in my work I have a Indian friend who deals with Japanese client. He speaks Japanese very fluently as a native people .He told me that he was interested to speak Japanese and applied for various job position in Japan after graduation. He got a good job and worked in Japan for 2 years where he learned new language from Japanes people.This example clearly shows that learning language will be good only if we get to learn in appropriate places.

In sum,schools shouldn't allow the childrens to learn foreign language in their younger ages. Not only children don't have understanding about the importance of languages they wanted to learn but they also may not get chance to learn from correct source. We all should learn different languages to have better lives only from the perfect source .

Writing Feedback / Toefl - teacher evaluation; students can learn more [3]

School should ask students to evaluate their teachers.Do you agree or disagree?
School plays a significant role in our lives. It is the place where we get opportunity to learn the fundamentals to become successful in career through our mentors. Most of the teachers are able to teach in the best way while others may not.Some believe that teachers should be evaluated for the better performance of students. Others disagree. In my view, schools should give chance for students to judge their teachers for several reasons.

One of the important reason is that the students can learn more. Teachers will improve their teaching method when they are being evaluated. Lectures will be good as they will be able to give more detail knowledge to the class. For example, when I was in medical school of California,we had a chemistry professor.He knew his subject very well but we didn't understand the topics which he explained.We find it difficult to grab from him as it was very confusing and theoretical.He didn't get good evaluation from the class in the end of semester.He changed his teaching ways later by including videos,illustrations which was followed by the practical experiments. I still remember his class on acid-base reaction how he clarified us.He became one of the best teacher as we were able to learn more from him.This experience clearly illustrates that teachers should be evaluated as it creates strong learning environment.

The second reason is that the teachers will get benefit from this kind of system.Teachers will try to enhance their teaching activity when they are being judged by the students.For instance, yesterday when I was in school library, I read college annual magazine which had published a article on our history teacher. It mentioned that he was awarded a gold medal as he got highest admiration from evaluation performed by students. In addition to the medal he was also got case award and promotion.This experience taught me that when teachers are evaluated they get chance to do further more for students.

In sum,the schools should possess teacher evaluation in their education system. Not only studentsts can learn more from the teachers but it also give many advantages to the mentors .We should all support the system of teachers evaluation by students and all school should include it.

Writing Feedback / 'we gather in living room and talk about daily activities' - most important room [4]

House plays a significant effect in our existence. We spend most of time of our lives living here .Diffrent people have various opinions about their best room .As far as I am concerned ,living room is the most important room in a house for several reasons.

One of the most important reason is we can have quality time with our family members in living room. Everyday when we come back from our work we gather in living room and talk about daily activities, work, study and people. For example, I remember two weeks back I had a very hectic day at my work. While I was returning home I got stuck in traffic for nearly one hour. I was stressed up when I reached home due to tiredsome. All the family members were sitting in the comfortable couch in the living room.They were talking about different issues on music, politics. I could feel the cool wind from the window and see garden from my living room.It helped me to rejuvenate my mind .I felt fresh and sooner I joined all of the people .We spend some time in living room everyday and it has improved our relationship. This experience taught me how important the living room helps in creating strong bond between each member of home.

The second reason is I can learn more .Everyday we watch various programmes like news, commedy shows, history channels with my family in the living room after dinner. We discuss about the various topics on news and I get lot of valuable information from my parents .For instance, yesterday we watched a talk show in television.I couldn't understand some ideas presented by the speaker.It was beyond my thought. My father provided me a lot of details on the subject which were discussed. I could broaden my knowledge as I get more knowledge from programmes and family. This is possible due to our living room only .This example clearly shows the importance of living room in our home.

In sum,the living room plays inevitable role in our lives.Not only it helps us by giving cosy atmosphere to spend some good time with the family but it also provides us a place to share and increase knowledge through television and family members.We all should spend some time in living room for our better development.