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Posts by Camilabido
Name: Camila Bidó
Joined: Dec 29, 2014
Last Post: Dec 31, 2018
Threads: 6
Posts: 11  

From: Dominican Republic

Displayed posts: 17
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Camilabido   
Dec 31, 2018
Undergraduate / I've always wanted to be an astronaut. UGRAD [2]

fascinated with space exploration



I've always wanted to be an astronaut. I know, it sounds strange, as I am studying Diplomacy and International Services. But, I've been fascinated with space exploration. It is the aspect of discovery that I think leaves me engrossed every time.

Here on earth, as I have yet not even able to reach beyond the sky, I've carried that exploration mindset. Living in a state of discovery has helped me reach the most important accomplishments of my life. During my internship at the Social Policy Coordination Cabinet of the Vice-presidency of the Dominican Republic, I was given assignments that meant being thrown into a complete unknown. With no clue how to proceed, as a 19-year-old doesn't normally write public policy for the State in her spare time, I jumped to a scary start. Reading, and performing research every day, I was able to discover different ways in which we live out and experience the social structure in all its dimensions, and how our interaction with it defines how close or far we are to reach a state of well-being. Doing so, allowed me to turn in my assignments successfully and exceed the expectations of those who gave them to me.

Beyond intellectual theory, I carry my curiosity to the mundane. It is my fascination for the phenomena found in the everyday life that allows me to build with the resources around me, by enabling me to see them.

UGRAD would be an incredible experience for me. On the academic side, I will be able to grow my love for research and, to extents that are not possible here, explore new concepts that will help me better understand social life, and all the ways in which can move things around in order to make it work better. On the mundane, experiencing a different culture, streets, and language, will allow me to learn more about aspects of the human experience that haven't been written about, but very much play a role in the way that we interact between communities.

As an exchange student, I would go into the unknown. But my experiences have demonstrated that when thrown into a new environment, I'm able to thrive and make good use of my new findings to further our state as a whole. Being an exchange student it's like figuring out that your neighbor has very fertile soil on his backyard, so you go and plant him a beautiful garden; and when the flowers bloom, you take some and propagate them in your own home. Making two beautiful gardens out of a mind of discovery and good use of resources. I feel the opportunities I've had in my life have equipped me to fulfill my desire to find new things that I can use to create a community anew. Someday, I hope to do that on Mars, but as of now, a new country will do.
Camilabido   
Dec 31, 2018
Scholarship / ESSAY for GLOBAL UGRAD. UGRAD, Me and My Society [3]

the day I entered the university.

They ... countries which means they have a diverse culture.

have different background than me.

Not only socializing skills ...
We can not only get social skills but also discover ...

This is just the first sentences of the essay, which is not a good sign. Run your essay through Grammarly or another spell check, upload it again, and from there, I will help you correct the most complex issues on sentence structure.

Hope you have a good day :)
Camilabido   
Nov 10, 2015
Undergraduate / Why UChicago? It will challenge me, kick my ass, drain me, and destroy me. [2]

How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago.

I live in thirst of knowledge, most things I do in life derive from a need of understanding, a constant scape from the bliss of ignorance, and the continuous hunt for conscience. But why? That is the main question, why can't I enjoy a simple life full careless sets of actions? Because is wrong, and instead of offering the freedom we think it gives us, it actually puts us in cages, we feel overwhelmed and unsatisfied, and we fail to point directly to the cause, so we recur to the common lazy mantra of "Life is unfair" or "Sometimes life just sucks and there's nothing you can do about it", but truth is: we are affected by the things that are wrong around us whether we acknowledge them or not. So let's us live in freedom! being aware of the leaking ceiling so we can dance around the house without falling unexpectedly, knowing what's wrong and making it right for once and for all, slowly but surely, and let us find the life satisfaction and joy we've been searching all along, living the best life we can, using our resources to the full of its potential, because otherwise it would be a pitiful waste.

At Uchicago this is a living principle, people are eager to know, to talk about ideas and theories, the classrooms are filled with enthusiasm for learning the theoretical or practical understanding of every resource life gives us, and that's not something I can say I have where I live. In Santo Domingo, Distrito Nacional, people discuss events or individuals, not ideas, caring is most times controversial and considered "unnecessary misery", spending your time watching documentaries like "Cowspiracy" or "Winter on Fire: Ukraine's Fight for Freedom" is socially perceived as a waste of time: knowledge is not celebrated, in fact is condemned in a very subtle but real way.

Uchicago represents a chance, one that all my past experiences have been pointing towards to, a chance to enjoy and share the freedom that the celebration of knowledge allows us. The University of Chicago fills the gaps on most of the things I have to better of myself, my arrogance will be treated with its grade deflation by giving me a true evaluation of my work, as well as a push to thrive and deliver beyond what I believe to be the ends of my capabilities, the legendary Uchicago Scavenger Hunt will help to improve my outside the box thinking, the Human vs Zombies game will improve my cognitive skills and prevent heart disease by giving me the yearly recommended amount of exercise, the Latke or Hamantash debate will give me a life time needed understanding of such long stablished polemic as well as essential help in the choosing of a stand in this crucial topic. Not to leave out that the help from the different faculty members of other disciplines in mentoring Uchicago sociology students, together with the encouragement from the department towards cross-departmental course registrations, make perfect fit for my interest in political sociology, leaving me completely eager to experience those many and close ties between the Political science department as well as the other disciplines.

In all ways and in all of its aspects Uchicago will challenge me, kick my ass, drain me, and destroy me, to build me new into a competent, prepared, defiant, controversial, game-changer citizen responsible for society's switch to the path of much needed advancement, and ground breaking discoveries of unthinkable possibilities.

The path to a free society.
Camilabido   
Nov 10, 2015
Writing Feedback / 'anxious faces staring into a computer screen' - major, UC transfer application Personal Statement [3]

Since then I decided to know more computer concept so that I could help these people bring their computers back to life. I, therefore, have chosen my major in Computer Science as the result of that it is my passion and aspiration.

I think it would be better:

Guided by the desire of wanting to help these people bring their computers back to life I decided to know more about computers leading me to choose my major in Computer Science.
Camilabido   
Jan 13, 2015
Undergraduate / I've spent my time seeing what's happening in the world from different perspectives. Why Lang? [3]

Prompt- Eugene Lang College was originally known as ''The Seminar College,'' marked by discussion-based classes held around a table where students and professors gathered to share ideas. At Lang, students are expected to take an active role in their education. This is your chance to tell us why you feel Lang is a good fit for you. Why Lang? (Approximately 250)

- Why Lang is a good fit for me? Why Lang? Word Count is (Approximately 250) / this has 224 words

Whether it was giving a car lecture to my mom about race, explaining to my classmates how strong Russia is as a nation, sitting in the library after school discussing the issues published by the news in debate club, or going volunteering every weekend to discuss diplomacy and politics with university students in the matter, I spent all of my high school years, weekends and money seeing what's happening in the world from different perspectives by hearing different point of views and opinions; the reason is my conviction in this being the only way to really get to know what the problems we're facing everyday really represent, and therefore identify what we can do to fix them; Lang portrays the importance of this and understands why the study of today's issues is so key in the process of problem solving. As myself, they refuse to display ignorance to everything going on around them, and are not scared of defeating what is already there by creating their own ground. Lang encourages you to speak your mind without setting limitations, and push you to reach your full potential through providing constant challenge; that's why I firmly believe that this environment creates citizens who truly effect change as needed in society to continue evolving to its advantage. And as I want to help humanity to get rid of setbacks and only push forward, I choose Lang.
Camilabido   
Jan 12, 2015
Undergraduate / From running a company to a yearbook committee - my leadership abilities outshine the rest [2]

... could not have done it alone.

From operating graphic design workshops to giving constructive criticism to proofreading any written content an individual could not have done alone . I would not have accomplished all of this if it were not for my team. <- i don't think that this part in blue looks good in this particular paragraph, maybe try putting it in the previous one.

As the editor in chief, I manage all activities and communications, as well as delegating / delegate tasks to the rest of the team. There were few instances where I wish I had handled the situation differently, but these prepared me to face any future difficulties. (I rewrote the part in red)

these are just a few things that caught my eyes as an external reader, i'm not expert whatsoever i would still wait for Vangiespen to come to the rescue.
Camilabido   
Jan 7, 2015
Undergraduate / When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change [2]

Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

I stepped in the Dominican Republic chancellery, and walked into the MUN General Assembly on Disarmament and International Security. I was excited to be here. I would be working with others on solving the problem of nuclear proliferation in the Middle East. As the representative of India, I made sure that I had thoroughly researched the issue and had developed possible solutions to the matter. As I took my place at the committee table I felt an adrenalin rush that increased with the intensity of the discussions; as I listened to the other countries stand up with such passion to defend their position I was little bit intimidated but still ready to question and debate as needed in order to solve the issue. I was holding a difficult position as my country was in constant threat by nations standing in the room, I proceeded to read my speech in which I stated that I wouldn't move on with the solution if the safety of my citizens wasn't guaranteed through a just agreement with these threatening countries, this created a frenzy in the room leading to another debate, as the heat of the confrontation raised, I founded myself producing ideas faster than ever, in that same Caucus Pakistan and my delegation were getting to a peace agreement when the Secretary-General walked into the room with a crisis sent to us by the Security Council, the crisis stated that a Pakistani terrorist group attacked the capital of India, as this was a civil act we couldn't sanction the Pakistani government, I was put in the spotlight to deliver an efficient answer to a complex diplomatic issue in a matter of seconds, the fervency of the moment filled the room as discussions and negotiations were happening, we managed to solve the crisis and make a resolution we all agreed in, we voted, the resolution passed and so the MUN was closed with a round of applause and the sound of a hammer. All of this happened in what it felt like 2 sec. When in reality was 2 days. It happened so fast I couldn't even grasp it, it wasn't after it was done that I realized that everything was different, that those 2 days changed my life forever.

Before this MUN I didn't understood everything that is on the line everyday, I was a victim of the social reification, I was distant of the world and everything happening around me, but after being able to experience this, to see world working as a whole for the first time in my life, I realized how these problems don't only affect one part, but all of us, and that's why is our responsibility to fix them. My sociological mindset developed from the realization that you can't treat a disease you don't know, therefore in order to successfully fix these problems you need to identify their origins, causes and motivation.

"When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny." Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym
Camilabido   
Jan 3, 2015
Undergraduate / I have developed, as a person boosted with self-confidence, motivation and respect - UBC Essay [7]

faced was to simplify and present the words to children and help them grasp things easily

What they asked you to do, was to Tell them more about one of the activities you listed above, explaining what your goals were, what you did to pursue them, the results achieved, and what you learned in the process. i think it will be better if we break it down.

Tell us more about one of the activities you listed above: i assume you listed volunteering.
explaining what your goals were: what i got from the text was that your goal as a tutor volunteer is to share and spread knowledge among students as much as you can.

what you did to pursue them: by simplifying and presenting the words to children and help them grasp things easily.
the results achieved: that's the thing i didn't really saw very clear on this text, did you achieved your goals as a volunteer tutor? were you able to simplify and present the words to children in order to help them grasp things easily? universities want to see that you achieve the goals you put for yourself.

And what you learned in the process: i know is there, but is not as clear as it should be. i'm my humble opinion.

Another observation:

Because of the "and and" presented in this sentence: One of the major challenges I faced was to simplify and present the words to children and help them grasp things easily. i would rewrite it like: One of the major challenges I faced was to simplify and present the words to children in order to help them grasp things easily.
Camilabido   
Dec 29, 2014
Undergraduate / As a child, hearing the term "the good life" I often thought of being enormous rich [6]

Raw Observations from a common writer, not an expert at all.

"Knowing that I would be living In a dorm I would become more sociable. Also, I would become extremely organized, keeping myself on a specific time schedule, and putting my homework and classwork before outside activity." i would recommend to cut that self promo."Be concise. Omit irrelevant details, clichés, and poorly developed ideas. Do not distract the reader with unnecessary words and repetition." i have this on top my essay so I never forget this. By writing all of that self promo you will be "Distracting the reader with unnecessary words", and you don't wanna do that.

Also here ---> I'd have to take advantage of every opportunity they throw at me. Interns, volunteering, etc. - substitute Interns for "Internships".

During, I'll have to set long term and short term goals, making it my job to reach them. - that "During" seems empty, i would rewrite it "During this time, I will set long and short term goals, making it my job to reach them."

My main focus during this undergraduate stage is to challenge myself. I know it would be for the better. Knowing that I would be living In a dorm I would become more sociable. Also, I would become extremely organized, keeping myself on a specific time schedule, and putting my homework and classwork before outside activity.I know abiding by the rules will discipline me. With all the prerequisites I know ill be if not ready, close enough to being ready to go on my own. - more like,My main focus during this undergraduate stage is to challenge myself, because i know that by doing this I will grow as a person, and in the process i will endure rules and lessons that will discipline me, and help me to get ready to go on my own.

Further more, having a house, being able to keep food, lights, water, having a good job, staying happy, being proud of myself, and congratulating myself for staying on the right track. - I would just cut that out.

there is sooo much more i would change, but i just recommend keep working on it and have it proof read by a teacher.



  • i have this on top my essay so never forget this
Camilabido   
Dec 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / Nationality of natural persons in relation to the succession of States. Country: Indonesia [3]

i'm submitting this as part of my college app - Academic paper on one of the most complex issues of international law, they require an academic paper you've written in the course of junior and senior year. This academic paper should have everything they say here: "An academic writing sample allows applicants to demonstrate their preparedness for the rigorous academic environment at Lang that demands a strong analytic mind, ability to convey ideas clearly, and desire to grapple with challenging texts. Please submit an academic paper that showcases your ability to present a thesis, support your argument, and cite sources."

_____________________________________________________
Here's the assignment:"Express the position of Indonesia on the topic: Nationality of natural persons in relation to the succession of States."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Topic:Nationality of natural persons in relation to the succession of States. Country: Presidential Republic of Indonesia.
______________________________________________________

The State succession is the replacement of one State by another in the responsibility for the international relations of territory; natural persons in general, is a member of the human species susceptible to incur obligations and acquire fundamental rights, such as nationality, which constitutes the legal status of these persons; the nationality of natural persons in the succession of States is one of the most complex issues of international law, the difficulty comes as a result of the way in which constitutional frameworks have tended to regard it more as a legal status of the person, rather than inherent right.

Indonesia has addressed the issue of the succession of States several times before the international community, and although we have not left a clear position on the issue, we have demonstrated our interest in reaching the solution of the problem that this presents. Similarly, we recognize our history of conflict in terms of succession of States, and we are not proud of all the mistakes we've committed before the international community and the different courts, but we hope that through the dialogue between nations we can reach a solution that benefits everyone involved, and only when we achieve this, we can be proud of who we are as a nation.

We understand that this is a controversial issue since the nationality of a state concerns exclusively to its domestic law, but nevertheless we argue that the discretionary quality may be limited by its obligations to other States, and the effective guarantee of human rights; the importance of protecting and ensuring the proper exercise of this right is such that the relevance and viability for the permanence of many other rights depends on its effectiveness. Nationality is a right that is not subject to the political will of States, and therefore this must be secured in every succession of States.

Aware that the nationality of a State concerns exclusively to its domestic law, we emphasize that problems of nationality arising from succession of States concerns to the international community. This is why we ensure that the eradication of this problem is our responsibility as a whole, and only by working together can we achieve that the assurance of nationality in the succession of State doesn't remain uncertain, but guaranteed.
Camilabido   
Dec 29, 2014
Undergraduate / As a child, hearing the term "the good life" I often thought of being enormous rich [6]

even if its interning for volunteer hours , or an on sight job with minimum wage pay . ----> here you talk of volunteer hours along side something everyone doesn't like(on sight job with minimum wage pay), and it makes volunteer hours look like something you wouldn't enjoy and you don't want them to see that in you.

Over all you have errors with punctuation, you put spaces before periods, and commas, and those spaces only go after not before. I don't see anything that separates you from the thousands of students applying to this university, seems pretty basic, so you should show more of your personality, because every single question universities ask you are a chance for you to show them what makes you special, they need to see why you should take the spot and not jimmy, at least that's what i think.
Camilabido   
Dec 29, 2014
Undergraduate / Unique Flavor to NYU - NYU AD Prompt - What can NYU offer you and what can you offer NYU [7]

i'm just a common reader, but i would say that i don't see why you want to study Economics in here, while i was reading i thought that you wanted to major in diplomacy or political science, i think you should have more of an economic approach in your love for the world and everything around you. But that's just me in my humble opinion, i could be utterly wrong.
Camilabido   
Dec 29, 2014
Undergraduate / "Social System" - CREATIVITY, PASSION AND INTELLECT SHOW CASE ESSAY / EUGENE LANG - LIBERAL ARTS [2]

This has to show that i'm a pacesetter who deploys creativity and innovation to challenge the status quo. and that i own loads of passion and intellect.

THIS IS AN ESSAY I WROTE FOR THE NEW SCHOOL COMPETITION, basically you have to show on an essay why are you New School? (which is the university i'm applying to), why do you belong in the university? this essay has to let them see that you are definitely meant to be at the university. Intended major: Sociology

Why am i New School?



Being New School, it's definitely a way of seeing the world and everything around you, how passionate you are about what you see, and the tenacity you have to do something about it.

My name is Camila Bidó, I'm 16 years old, and I'm from the Dominican Republic

I'm fascinated by the fact that we, as humanity, build the world as we live it, we created the status quo, social classes, races, religions, what we call the "Social System", we are teach by generations that we are victims of its flaws, that there's nothing we can do to change it, to improve it, but I guess I kind of disagree with that. I acknowledge that we created the system, therefore is not untouchable, Its change is needed, and Its lack of improvement is lethal; I stand that limitations are non-existent, because possibilities are endless, what in the past was unimaginable is now normal, and what was unthinkable is now law, for me it's all about creating, modifying, not limiting yourself to what is there, but what it might be, and when I see what is not there yet, I feel the unexplainable urge to build it and make it real.

I found my passion in the study of society, and what has been the core of this is the fact that I have a constant curiosity and intense fascination about the discovery of the unknown, that has led me to question everything around me. I'm not sure when it all started, to be honest, is just all of a sudden everything changed, I started to fall in love with society, and see it in a different way, almost as if from an external point of view, I became fascinated by it. It's amazing that we've created all of this, if you stop to think about it for a while, it's overwhelming, I will dedicate my life to study it, enjoy it, live it, find what's wrong with it and try to fix it, I feel the need to do it, because I have a mad obsession about the improvement of humanity.

I am New School because in the way I see world society does not act, people do, and change it's up to the decisions that we make, because the determination and weird passion I own to push humanity towards it's evolution, has lead me to not live scared of change but rather terrified by the lack of it. And it's because I'm New School in the Sociological mindset that I will effect change as needed for our society to continue evolving to its advantage.
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