Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Komank Sukarma
Name: I KOMANG SUKARMA
Joined: Mar 9, 2015
Last Post: May 4, 2015
Threads: 4
Posts: 12  

From: Indonesia
School: Udayana University

Displayed posts: 16
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Komank Sukarma   
May 4, 2015
Writing Feedback / I saw an adorable girl smiled at me. God.. she was Pimchanok Luevisadpaibul, Nam. Narrative writing. [3]

Thanks Thailand, I met Nam

Three years ago, I wrote some words said I do want to meet you, Nam. It was an unbelieveable thing, but it was a simply memorable one. What did I ?

Yes, if you are a Thai movie lover, you must have known this popular movie Crazy Little Thing Called Love. I watched it and it growth my feeling to an extreme curiousness. It was an amazing movie ever! I decided to go to Thailand after a week watching that movie. My friends thought that I was a crazy boy and just wasted the time.

...
Komank Sukarma   
May 4, 2015
Letters / Waiter position - job application letter General Writing IELTS TASK 1 [4]

Hi friend... your essay on application as a waiter reminded me when I applied for a job as a waiter too,
I am not a native English person, but I would like to give suggestion and recheck of what Raj44 corrected your essay. I just want to see this only: looking forward to hearing from you soon..blabla. based on my experience and my English lecturer said that: after looking forward , the word is to not for.

I dont know what the exactly reason is, but I found it everywhere is like that.
any ideas on i..just free feel to comment ok
thank you

Good luck friend
Komank Sukarma   
Mar 19, 2015
Writing Feedback / I wish... I knew Goa Gala-Gala. My narrative essay about a secret place. [7]

Thanks Iynzee for the question and much help.
In that case, I tried to make a stimulation to reader that there is a feeling conflict I have. So neither me actually, if I find a dangerous person I would avoid him/her, but in here I was trying to show my implied characteristic as a brave guy if you think so.

And also if I blow the story up like this: after I saw the old man I got myself avoid him and went to other ways. I think that the plot would be more than one and it would took me more explanations and paragraphs to write. It means that I probably get some new ideas to support the plot and would be a long story though (since in the fact I was given a limitation of number of words I should write, it is around 150 words. I think I have broken the rule :D)

Dont you think so?

I think that is my reason why.

Second, about the date I wrote. Yeah,you are right. I just realized that it is an uncompleted sentence. I intended to show the time I started to go to the place not when Fernan wrote the name on the book. Or perhaps I just remove it from the text because I think it is not really important thing I should show.Do you think it is better?

and also thanks for the useful corrections :)

If you have any ideas to talk to or give more feedback and corrections, please write anything. I would definitely glad to have it.
Thanks a lot.
Komank Sukarma   
Mar 19, 2015
Writing Feedback / I wish... I knew Goa Gala-Gala. My narrative essay about a secret place. [7]

thanks for the feedback my friend..
I got good questions from you.
well, my answers are as follows:
1. Yes, it is the old mans grandfather built it
2. Actually I would be love to explain more about the place but just I should limit the number of words given. So, yes you were right. My experience is just a mystical as I met the old man suddenly in the forest. and for Fernans suggested place, I tried to make it different. I meant, actually in the story I tried to play Fernan role to did not let me know the place explicitly. That is why I mentioned ;I did not see anything that show signals of a kind of captivated place; So like he just gave me a clue to me find a captivated place as he meant as I didnt know what it was. Does it make sense to you?

3. Actually, I didnt say that I stayed in that place for permanently. I f i can say, that I just found a new place and it was a secret place. So, if I had explain more the story in part of it, It could be that ;after knowing the underground house I found with the old man, I went back home afterward. So I didnt continue my journey and not think of Fernan suggested place anymore.

4.oh yah, you are right! It is still unclear information, isnt it? so I was intended to tell the reader that what I have done in Goa Gala-Gala with the old man has become my unforgettable experience that I can not forget it until now.

Ok, yeah . Hopefully it could make a clear sense to you. I have been being a very welcome and happy person to always have your suggestions. Thank you :)
Komank Sukarma   
Mar 18, 2015
Writing Feedback / I wish... I knew Goa Gala-Gala. My narrative essay about a secret place. [7]

Hello everyone... this is my narrative essay. I wrote this as the topics given. One of them is about secret place.
If you are in a free time, would you like please help my work to be corrected in a correct way? Thank you guys.

I wish...I knew Goa Gala-Gala

Summary: To this day, when people asked me about the most unforgettable experience I have, I would response it happily. It brings my memory back to an astonishing holiday in an amazing Island.

I had a plan to spend my holiday. I still didn't know yet where I should go. One day, I met Fernan in one of Public Libraries. He is my archeology friend. We had a good conversation. During the conversation, I told him that I didn't have any idea yet to where I should spend my holiday. Then he gave me a guided book. But he just wrote the name of suggested place without telling me where the exact address of it. On July 6, 2014. Finally, I went to the south east part of Bali Island called Nusa Lembongan as what Fernan wrote it on. I arrived in that place safely. I just used the guided book given. In there, I did not see anything that show signals of a kind of captivated place. Suddenly, I saw an old man sat down under a big tree. He was alone. Because of the dark situation, I got afraid that something bad would happen. But, I kept my positive thinking and mustered my courage up to close that old man. A few spaces from him, he turned his head and looked at me by saying "what are you doing here?" I tried to answer him, "I..I..want to go to a captivated place in here. My friend said I will find one. But..." He quickly interrupted me "Don't be afraid child, I let you show something." "what is it?where.." I said haltingly. "Are you deaf? Just follow me!" he said a bit loud. With no thinking longer, I stepped my feet and followed him. It took a few seconds to reach a place that looked like strange and hidden. He took the grasses off from the entrance door so I could see it clear. A cave? I thought. He capably guided me to come inside. It was so dark and deep. I felt stunned. There was a bedroom, a kitchen, a bathroom, a living room, a well, and a meditation room separated to each other. It looked so unbelievable! The old man said "This underground house was built by my grandfather 11 years ago. I hope your visit would break the secret image. I will be not lonely anymore if others come after this." I was touched of his saying and hugged him. "I definitely will!" I smiled while wiping tears in my corner eyes.

After that day, I kept remember him who had been a part of my life. This will not be forgotten ever!
Komank Sukarma   
Mar 18, 2015
Writing Feedback / "Describe a person that inspires you in your career path". Write approximately 150 words. [2]

hello... I enjoyed read your descriptive text above.
I just realized that you wrote 166 words as well. Good job!
because I myself experienced in writing assignment could not control very well to have limit the words number given.
I also got some new vocabularies of your paragraph and it enhanced my knowledge. Thank you.
Keep spirit up buddy!
Komank Sukarma   
Mar 18, 2015
Writing Feedback / People's life would be completely different without Internet; IELTS essay [5]

Hi friend..
I was interested in reading your paragraphs.
I agree with that.
Nowadays, internet is very important to us. For example what I am doing now here, without the internet how I can make a contact with you? and know lovely forum like this on internet.

So, it is very helpful for me.
But, on the other hand, internet will have negative sides if we do not use it properly. So, I can say that both of positive and negative effects of the internet is depend on us as users.
Komank Sukarma   
Mar 18, 2015
Writing Feedback / Reaching at the pinnacle of success requires dedication and determination [3]

Hi Samrooney... It is a nice writing... I agree with your text above. Because I am a non-English native speaker, I let other friends to correct your text more.

However, I found a sentence in ungrammatically error,
when they fails, they hold their luck responsible.
Based on my knowledge, it should be when they fail (without s), they hold their luck responsible.

Hope this could help you, keep writing friend!!
Komank Sukarma   
Mar 17, 2015
Letters / Memo to all employers on openness to any ideas for shop improvement [4]

thank you for the help Gaura.
I really appreciate it.
But, in the last sentence of just free feel free to call me up at home between certain hours .
Doesnt it mean that the employees should call him when he is at home?

Just make myself sure. any corrections could be appreciated.
Komank Sukarma   
Mar 13, 2015
Writing Feedback / My Thrilling Birth Day Surprise in Royal Boutique - simple narrative essay [2]

My Thrilling Birth Day Surprise

My unforgettable experience happened in my birth day surprise several months ago in Royal Boutique. It all came on December 20th, 2014. All activities I joined were almost in that place for a competition called Teruna Teruni Bali. On the quarantine day, my friends who were my competitors and I gathered in a Royal Boutique's meeting room for discussing the preparation that we should do. I lost my competition t-shirt and the committee took it as a small matter as I forgot it easily.

...
Komank Sukarma   
Mar 11, 2015
Student Talk / Hi everyone! Welcome at EssayForum thread. [412]

Hi Pool..
love to know you too here
as I am a new member too I found same goals at what your wishes do.
I am from Indonesia, it means we are in same region of the world, right? :D
Hopefully we can find beneficial things here as I completely love to have advices and share to others.
Cheers!!
Komank Sukarma   
Mar 11, 2015
Student Talk / Hi everyone! Welcome at EssayForum thread. [412]

Hello..
Saya baik-baik saja ( I am pretty well ) hehe , thank you
You can speak Bahasa Indonesia ? That is great...
Thanks so much my friend, I would love to. Thank you, just please free feel to correct my mistakes, ok? It perfectly would make my English skills become better.

Yes, I do hope so. Because for me, having new friends from other countries will get me much to learn more about their backgrounds, cultures, languages and share to each other of course.

Although we are in apart away places but we are one and feel close in this lovely forum.
Glad to knowing you my friend and all members here! :)
Komank Sukarma   
Mar 10, 2015
Student Talk / Hi everyone! Welcome at EssayForum thread. [412]

Greeting from Bali! - I am a new comer - loving to make new friends here!

Hello everybody.. How are you doing?
I am I Komang Sukarma and you call me Komang is quietly fine.
I am from Bali which is one of fabulous islands in Indonesia.
I am a student in university and I am in second semester of English Department now.
It is nice to be here and know you all here. I realize that I have a lot of weaknesses on English skills, thus any suggestions and corrections to my mistakes would be very welcome and appreciate.

I hopefully this place could bring me a positive and friendship atmosphere. Can't wait to catch talking up more with you guys!
Thanks so much.
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