Writing Feedback / Dress smartly in Organisations - is the work goal more crucial than the physical appearance? IELTS 2 [2]

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In this contemporary era, fashion plays an equally important role in the workplace. As such, many companies require their workers to wear the fashionable dress. However, others believe that the work goal is more crucial than physical appearance. This essay will discuss both views while I personally believe that person's appearance is more likely supporting their work process.

Having said that the quality of work is more important in the workplace. This is because the competence of employees is needed to finish their work and pursue their target related to the aim of the company than their appearance. To illustrate, a labourer in the workshop does not need a good dress style in order to repair a car's machine, but their skill is more important in this situation. However, on the different side, I believe that physical appearance plays a significant role.

Apart from this, the fashionable appearance tends to consider the result of work. Clearly, fashion style is able to attract customers to believe in workers of organisations. For example, a bank accountant is required to wear a good dress in order to serve customers. Not only this, the good fashion can improve the employees' confidence to perform in public such as meeting with clients. Moreover, physical appearance has a linked to a personality in order to influence people's behave. Furthermore, in my view, besides the ability, I highly likely argue that visible appearance can encourage improvement the work result.

To conclude, while some people state that work quality is more important than style in appearance, I personally agree that dress style has a link in order to improve the quality of work.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 : Working after school before studying at University - education and career consideration [5]

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university.

Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

It is suggested that involving in a job for several years after school bring the benefits for a student before enrolling at a university. While this idea tends to bring the advantages for students such as a work experience and financial, I argue that there are some disadvantages as the drawbacks.

It is true that there are some benefits for students who work before entering university because they tend to obtain the experience in their workplace that can help them to choose the program related to the job that they ever did. A case in point, in my own experience, my previous job in psychological service center assist me to make a decision prior to enrolling appropriate program in university due to my occupation experience. In addition, the students who ever became an employee tend to be independence means that they more likely to appreciate their activities without depending on other people. Moreover, they can be aware of their financial where they never ask their parents as far as they did before when they had a job. However, there are some drawbacks from this case that should be considered.

Apart from this, there are several disadvantages for students who take a job in their range time after finishing their study of senior high school. Firstly, they are bound to lose their chance to obtain a better education that has been linked to a well-paid job. In this case, a higher education is related to well-paid job and career improvement opportunity. secondly, a long-term period without interacting with scientific books can reduce student's response about the scientific source. Eventually, another problem is that some universities sometimes have a limited age for a new student who wants to enroll in their university.

To conclude, taking a few years job for students before applying university is inclined to provide some benefits. However, the disadvantages should not be neglected. As a student, I believe that everyone has their own consideration before making a decision related to their education and career.

Writing Feedback / Rewrite : A turbine design and three different locations to be placed, check my writing [3]

The diagrams below show the design for a wind turbine and its location.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

A breakdown of a detailed wind turbine design and three different locations to be placed is illustrated in the diagrams. Overall, a wind turbine consists of several parts, which has their each function and there are three locations where the turbines can be constructed. While the highest power is on the hill, the lowest is next to houses as a domestic turbine.

The design, a wind turbine feature consists of blader made by fibreglass or wood, a steel tower, a wind sensor, a generator, and a computer control system. Each part of the turbine has a function such blades as a receiver of wind. Then, wind sensor acts to detect speed and direction which is followed by a generator as a power producer with output 1,5 megawatts of electricity. Moreover, another component is a computer to control the system and receive information from the sensor. All parts are combined to construct a wind turbine.

Moving to the locations, there are three different locations where the turbines can be established. The first, on the hill, in this place the maximum wind strength can be obtained. The second, it is in the sea where landscape does not spoil the process in order to receive the wind source, and another place is around the houses as a domestic turbine that is able to produce 100 kilowatts electricity.

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Writing Feedback / Does modern world tend to lead people easy getting health or reverse? What is the cost of it? [2]

Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is argued that in the global era, it is hard to get a better way of life for people in the world. On the other hand, some believe that healthy and fit are easily gained as long as they want due to the development of technology. This essay will discuss both points of view.

With regard to the first view, it is true that healthy lifestyle is difficult to be applied in the modern era. This is because the healthy lifestyle is related to food nutrition and physical exercise. This era, most of people spend their time in the workplace means that they have less time for doing exercise or sport even though it is needed to maintain their fit. Moreover, food sources contain the chemical substances due to the planting process using chemical fertilize. As a consequence, those tend to lead the impact for a human body.

Nevertheless, others argued that healthy and fit easily to be obtained because of the presence of technology. Firstly, the advance technology provides some facilities for people gaining their health such as run track machine that can be used at home. Also, the development of medical and healing technology have been found to help people solving their disease. Not only this, the discovery of diet nutrition and medicine are able to complete the vitamin and nutrition for human body to get health.

Furthermore, in my point of view, in this contemporary era, human lifestyle tends to lead people living in unhealthy environment where many sorts of disease threaten human health. On the other hand, the development of technology provides better medical treatment tools which can help people solving their health problem. Therefore, people should be aware of the change in their environment and should maintain their fit.

In conclusion, that is stated that healthy lifestyle in the modern era can be easily reached by everyone. While others argued the reverse that healthy lifestyle is an expensive one, I personally believe that modern life tends to lead people to be aware of their condition.

Writing Feedback / Survey happiness in different age groups and the effect of the presence children, give suggestions [2]

The charts below show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US, and the effect of children on the overal ratings of married couples.

A breakdown of percentage of the survey on happiness ratings between married and unmarried people in four different age groups and the effect of children in a married couples is illustrated in the bar graphs. Overall, the most obvious piece of information is that the most happiness trend is experienced by the married couples. While the highest percentage is hold by 18-29 age group, having children under 18 is the most influencing happiness in a family.

Standing at 45%, the age group 18-29 of married couples is the highest group feeling happiness. Both groups aged 30-49 and 50-64 said that they felt happy after getting married and the data shows balance percentage in 44% followed by survey on people aged 65 over, 40% of them said that they are happy. Compare to unmarriage people groups, the result of the survey explains that 21-22% percent people aged under 65 feeling happiness. Interestingly, the percentage increases dramatically when the survey was conducted to people aged 65 and over, which rose by 34%.

A more detailed analysis shows that 44% happiness in a family is influenced by having children under 18. However, the survey results that the happiness decreases when children have been growing up to aged more than 18. Uniquely, 43% couples said that they are happy even though they have no children.

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Writing Feedback / It is argued that besides the benefits, media can bring a problem in a relationship between couples. [3]

The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people.

To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

In this modern era, electronic media plays an important role for communication. However, It is argued that besides the benefits, it can bring a problem in a relationship between couples. In this case, I personally believe that the media is more likely to lead the relation becoming closer due to intensive communication even though possibility to make affair is inclined to happen for some reasons.

Having said that the presence of electronic media tends to improve the relationship becoming closer. This is because the electronic media provides the intensive communication due to inventions such as phones and computers connected to WIFI. These devices are more likely to maintain the communication which is able to break the distance, and control each couple. For example, Phone or laptop connected to WIFI can be devices to know information or pay attention each other. As a result, the relation is bound to be closer than before.

However, the tendency of cheating between the couples owing to electronic media should not be completely neglected for some reasons. Firstly, electronic media connects people to everyone that is able to give a chance for a mate making affair. Also, electronic media cannot be representative of feeling. Most of people tend to need more attention directly than by the electronic media. Not only this, this device is more likely to influence people looking for another one who is able to make deeply relation.

In conclusion, Using electronic media tends to lead relation facing problems. While it is argued that it gives an occasion for every mate looking for another couple, I personally believe that electronic media is able to be tool to connect and control each other by intensive communication

Writing Feedback / Level Education of Bulgarians people who live in abroad [2]

The chart below gives information about the level of education of Bulgarian people who wanted to go and live in another country in 2002, 2006, and 2008.

A breakdown of percentage of the level education Bulgarians who visit and live in abroad in three different years in 2002, 2006, and 2008, is illustrated in the bar chart. Overall, the most obvious piece of information was that there is a change in the trend of level education Bulgarians who live in overseas. While secondary level decreased slightly, the percentage of primary and lower education rose extremely in the last period.

According to the data, the level education of Bulgaria's inhabitant who live in abroad was dominated by secondary education, which stood at 65% in 2002 and was followed by both primary/lower education and higher education, respectively 18% and 17%. Interestingly, 2008 showed the significant change in the pattern. While both secondary and higher education experienced a decrease, the Bulgarians who have primary and lower education increased dramatically, rose by nearly a third (32%).

Moving to A more detailed analysis, the percentage of the higher and primary level education showed a slow rise over a 12-month period in 2006, serially 20% and 19% followed by a slight fall from 65% to 61% for secondary education level. Uniquely, both higher and secondary experienced a decrease, each at 9 % and 59% when a significant increase was shown by percentage of primary and lower education level.

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Writing Feedback / Results of surveys about workers' relation with their supervisors and their colleagues [2]

The charts below show the results of surveys in 2005 and 2009 asking workers about their relationship with their supervisors and their colleagues.

A comparison of percentage of the surveys' result about workers' relationship with their colleagues and supervisors in 2005 and 2009 is presented in the pie charts. Overall, there was an increase in the very good rating levels of relation employees with others. However, the percentage of relation between co-workers and colleagues is higher than their relation with supervisors.

According to the data, the result of the surveys in 2005 showed that 61% percent workers had a very good relation with their supervisor even though it was more less than the relation with colleagues at sixty-three percent. In the same period, 26% and 28 % employees said "good" for their relation with their co-workers and supervisor respectively. A very small number people (under 10%) argued that their relation with both supervisor and their workmates was weak.

The second survey in 2009 presented an increase in the relationship of employees with others. Sixty-five percent workers said their relation with their supervisor was very good followed by 22 % who gave a good rating for their relation. Compare to the relation with the colleagues in which it showed a significant rise in this year, rose by 7% to a seven in ten (70%), and a decrease 3% from 28% to 25% who said having good relation with co-workers.

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Writing Feedback / Process of Air circulation in a house when the heat is lost [2]

The diagram below shows how heat is lost and energy wasted in a house because of air getting into and out of the house.

A process of the air circulation in a house when the heat is lost and the fresh water gets into spaces in the house is illustrated in the diagram. At the first glance, it can be seen that the heat comes out from the home through the ceiling while air from outside gets into the home by a door as the main entrance and some ventilations.

According to the diagram, the heat losing process happens because there is air circulation in the home. Air leaks into the home through several ways. The biggest is from the door and window as the main entrance. Also, kitchen fan vent and dryer vent supply a plenty of air into spaces in the room. Other places, a small quantity is from electricity outlet and outdoor faucet in the crawl space.

Furthermore, heat air releases out home from various places on the ceiling. The first, hot air exits from the rooms through attic hatch. The second, in different places, heat evaporates out home passing the recessed lights in several rooms. Eventually, bathroom fan vent and plumbing stack vent are other media which are passed through by heat air to go out from the home.

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Writing Feedback / Two different surveys - which communication skills in internal and external jobs are essential [NEW]

The table below gives the results of two surveys, in 1997 and 2006, in which people were asked which communication skills were essential in their jobs.

A comparison of percentage of the result in two different surveys about which communication skills in internal and external jobs are essential in the workplace in two different years between 1997 and 2006 is presented in the table. At first glance, there was an essential skill for each internal and external jobs. While in external, the essential skill was dominated by dealing with people, listening carefully to colleagues was said as the most important skill in internal company.

The first survey in 1997 showed that sixty percent people said the most important communications skill needed in external is dealing with people and in contrary, selling product was said as the least communication skill needed in the external jobs, at 24 percent. This percentage increased slightly to 65% in the next survey in 2006 while selling product skill decreased. Others skills such as knowledge of particular products or services and advising or caring for customers or clients experienced a rise in this survey, from 35% and 36% in 1997 to 41% and 39% respectively in 2006.

Moving to internal jobs, the essential communication skill was listening carefully to colleagues during twice surveys in 1997 and 2006, 38% and 47% serially which was followed by instructing or training people at the second skill according to answers, at 25% and 30% in the same period. Other skills like persuading or influencing others, making speeches or presentations analysing problems together with others, and planning the activities of others are believed as others communication skills in internal company with the percentage under 30.

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Writing Feedback / Businesses ought to concern of attention on their activity due to their aim related to profit [2]

The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this.
Do you agree or disagree?

In this competitive era, the main aim of businesses is pursuing the profit. As such, business makers focus on their business plan rather than other objects. On the other hand, I personally believe that there some aspects should be paid attention by business makers prior to earning profit.

Having said that business keepers pay more attention to their business as the main target of business in this modern era is to earn much profit. This is because business makers must maintain their business in this competitive era when many others take part in the same track as a rival. For example, the profit that company obtained is used to pay their employees with the good salary. Moreover, a businessman have to recoup their capital and also can be used as the capital for extending businesses.

Apart from this, there are some aspects should not be completely neglected. Initially, business makers should be aware of their products. Besides the profit, a company should offer products with the best quality in order to increase costumers' satisfaction. Not only this, companies are supposed to give the good service because it tends to maintain the loyalty of customers who can affect the appraisal from customers of the company. Eventually, the businessmen should also provide the new job opportunities for the local society surrounding their business place.

To conclude, it is said that entrepreneur ought to concern to their attention on their business due to their aim related to profit. While some people believe that it is true, I personally disagree and I highly likely argue that some aspects should become a consideration for businessman beside only earning money.

Writing Feedback / Give suggestion: can clothes indicate human's character? [3]

Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In this contemporary era, fashion plays an equally important role for a physical appearance of people. As such, some people believe that what people wear is related to their character. However, others argue that people should not be judged due to their clothes. This essay will discuss both views while I personally believe that the dress style has a link to human personality.

Having said that the clothes people wear can not indicate who they are because the human's character can not be easily measured by merely seeing their style. An army, for example, may have the same uniform with others, but it cannot indicate how they behave. In addition, nowadays, the big criminals like corruptors are people who wear the best style in their dress, but unfortunately, their actions are not shown their personal character. However, on the other hand, I argue that people style can indicate their characteristic.

Apart from this, it is true there is a relation between what people wear and their personality. To begin, a recent study conducted by Harvard University in 2002 showed that the clothes people wearing indicated their behaviour and their interest related to how they behave. Not only this, people who always wear clothes of the same colour are able to be indicated what is their favorite colour. Moreover, football club's fans are more likely to wear their favorite clubs' jersey means that they tend to show their interest. Furthermore, in my opinion, I highly likely agree that people character can be assessed by what they wear.

To conclude, while some people believe that judging people cannot be measured by their clothes, I do believe what people wear tends to indicate their character.