Writing Feedback / Work to live, or live to work? [3]

Hey guys, I'm writing about an essay regarding about the topic of Work to live and live to work! Any advice is kindly appreciated!

In today's society, the job choices people can make has become relatively low. Due to the fact that extremely high cost of education in Canada and US, and where high real estate prices in areas of the country in which these desirable jobs are located. For example, even a large salaries will quickly shrink after the costs of mortgage, student debt payment, retirement contribution, and much more; causes most retire with little to no savings. Because of the high education, healthcare, real estate cost, one must work a great number of hours to just live even a bit comfortably. This carries up an often discussed question: Do you work to live, or do you live to work?

For people who fall into the work to live class, they have much less control of the work environment and lower income. Often resulted in a higher stress levels in this class of jobs. For some people in this segment of the working population providing, they can get by they will spend as little time at work as possible. However, there is an increasing number who have to work more than one low-level job to survive.

In contrast, for people who considered as live to work class, they tend to have more control of their work environment and derive greater satisfaction from what they do because of this. So it is to be expected that they will spend more time at work. For many relatively low-paid workers spend long extra hours working without a tangible financial reward.

Awareness raised from the article, for people who are unemployed, it is difficult to describe what they have either leisure or enforced leisure. The definition of free time is for people who can use that time to work and do something useful. Where leisure is not when one encounters an opportunity to escape and relax when you have nothing to escape from.

Writing Feedback / Art Theft in relation to Society's Influence [2]

Hey guys, I'm working on an essay paper about art theft and the relationship society impacts the crime rate. Earlier I had posted a thread about the introduction and thesis of the same paper. Without you guys' help, I would not have opened up my mind when writing this paper. Thank you guys so much, shout out to @holt, for giving me such valuable example and advice in my writing! For this essay, I'm not sure how to conclude this paper in a matter to cover back my thesis. Any help and advice are kindly appreciated!! Thank you!

The Significance of Media and Public
In 2008, 4 important painting by Van Gogh, Monet, Degas, and Cezanne were stolen from a museum in Zurich, Switzerland. The total cost of these paintings was 163.2 million dollars. Indeed, this theft is something that should have shaken the world owing to the amount of the paintings stolen in total. However, people rarely heard of the theft or, to this very day, remain oblivious to the theft of those paintings. While the paintings were eventually recovered, the perpetrators got very light sentences for their crime. Considering the historical value of the paintings and the monetary value involved, one would have expected that they would have given a stiffer punishment. For some reason, art theft is not considering a major crime similar to bank robbery. While banks employ the latest in anti-robbery devices, museums are seemingly stuck in the dark ages, unable to protect their national works of art. There is a negligence on the part of the museums when it comes to preventing art thievery and their interaction with potential art thieves. This paper will look into the society's negligence in its interactions with art thieves, and the details of advantage art theft hold as with society.

Case Evident: Stephen Hahn Art Gallery, Montreal Museum Fine Arts
On the cold night of November 17th, 1969, sevens paintings was stolen from the Stephen Hahn Art Gallery. Including four world famous pieces of art, estimated value at 500,000 American dollars. Despite the value was at 500,000 dollars, the news reporters find this event would not be interested in the public. In related to the case in 1972, the day Montreal Museum of Fine Arts when eighteen paints that are worth two million worth of money was stolen. From the print of "New York Times Achieved" mocked: "Flashback to the manner of 1969's Stephen Hahn Art Gallery, incredible moments of negligence." Considering that "New York Times Achieved" referred back to the 1969's Stephen Hahn Art Gallery case, where interest from the media was part of the flaw of 1972's Montreal Museum robbery. What's significant about this incident is that the media did not make a significant enough about this incident of robbery on the day of the news, thus the public and media had no impact to decrease the rate of art thieves. However, on a slightly positive side, later on, one of the painting was then recovered, "Serbian police are now guarding a recovered Cézanne painting, which was stolen at gunpoint four years ago in one of the history's largest art heists." Anoosh Chakelian stated. From these two cases, we can see the relationship, where one historical case's impact can lead towards Montreal Museum Fine Arts case. While the impact is not easy to comprehend at first glance, the evident in the relation can't be omitted.

Crime Opportunity Theory
The crime opportunity theory is defined as where one commits a crime due to certain favorable circumstances. Such factors include the ability to acquire a high rewarding payout without much effort or risk. In Felson's research writing, he stated, "Opportunities play a role in causing all crime", where "opportunity" is generalized the relation in crime and society. Offenders who choose to commit such crimes often go undetected due to premeditated planning. Due to many of these crimes going undetected, many criminals often get away with their acts as there is often never enough evidence for the police to get a lead. Till this day, art thief still continues to happen because of the lack of attention it receives from the public. In relation to crime and society, art thief is often rarer and does not leave a long lasting impact in comparison to crimes such as murder, robbery and much more.

Drawback to the case of the art theft cases, the connection between crime opportunity theory and art thievery is potentially related. "Some products offer more tempting crime opportunities." Felson continues stated, provided with an example "These opportunities reflect particularly the value, inertia, visibility of, and access to potential crime targets. For example, VCRs are high in value and low in inertia (they can easily be carried), and are often left in visible and accessible locations". Art theft, in this case, is being called upon the issue in the theory that has been addressed. The reason why art is present as often a target to robbers is because the direct value to artwork is different depending on each and every individuals. For example, a bank contains a million worth of cash versus a piece of art that is worth a million dollar according to the market value. While the security of the bank is often very strict, on the other hand, the strictness of the art gallery or museum wouldn't have the same significance. This is because a million dollar worth of art does not have the same direct value to a million dollar worth of cash. But how is this related to the art thievery and crime rate? The crime opportunity theory explains that artwork is often been treated as an easier target. While the society doesn't have the same value in terms of artworks, the crime rate of art theft has also increased at its exponential.

This paper had covered up the attitude of negligence from the media and the public, provided with two cases and explain within a theory. However, the increasing rate of art theft recently has the relationship with the apathy from the media and the public. I feel like art is unique and important in its own, but its value is intangible. I believed if the media and public have to pay more attention to the issue of art theft, naturally, the crime rate of art theft will decrease as well.

Writing Feedback / Study of Sociology Aspects of Art Theft [7]

Hey guys, I'm writing an introduction paragraph about my research paper about art theft in societies. Looking forward improve on any aspects of my paper. Any comments or advices are greatly appreciated!! Thank you!

In today's society, the number of thieves are increasing in popularity among criminals. As one of the largest crime, it widely includes shoplifting, petty theft, robbery, identify theft, art theft, etc. In the interest of broad category, some levels of theft resulting murder and violence, conversely that some are non-violent. However, there is one harmless crime that is belittled and overlook, that is art thief. The events of art theft up brings scarcely attention to the public, however, that this issue has been exhibited in many centuries. (Thesis) In the light of the case of Montreal Museum of Fine Arts in early seventies and the case of John Tillmann in 2013, study had shown an insight of negligence of art thieves in societies.

Poetry / Ode to my Ran Away Dog - Mock Ode, English 12 Assignment [3]

Hey guys, I have never written a mock ode before. I am not strong at poetry and I want to learn to be a good poetry writer. Any comments or edit is highly appreciated. Thank you.

"Ode to my Ran Away Dog"

Maddie Maddie,
Medium size husky
White fur, blue eyes, my bestie
One morning, clear sky
I woke up naturally without you licking my face
Walked down stairs, doors were open and you were gone
Searched everywhere, looked every corner, no sign of your face
Emotions filled with storm rain and can't move on.

Tic toc tic toc,
Four years passed
Thank you Maddie, I learned how to be independent
Thank you Maddie, I learned how wake up by myself
Thank you Maddie, I learned how to cheer myself up
Thank you Maddie, I learned how to protect myself
Thank you Maddie, I learned how to smile on my own.

But
Why if
I don't want to learn anything
I don't want to be independent
I don't want to be able to wake myself up
I don't want to cheer myself up
I don't want to protect myself
I don't want to smile on my own.

All I want is,
You to be by my side
Protect me,
Wake me up,
Cheer me up,
Protect me,
Make me smile.

My ode my belief
No need to move on,
What you missed in life
You will always missed them
No need to move on,
Life is all about
What you make your experiences
Become everlasting memories

Thank you,
Maddie.

Undergraduate / I am constantly improving and learning, and that is all that matters! UBC Personal Profile [3]

Hey everyone, this is one of my UBC personal profile prompt essay. Please leave any suggestions and comments. Thank you

Be it inside or outside of the classroom, what have you done to challenge yourself intellectually? Describe an issue, topic or area of study that you have investigated or pursued. (maximum 200 words)

An experience that had challenged me intellectually was the defeat at the Richmond Swimming Championship Finals. I started swimming competitively when I was 8 years old. Every year before summer, preparing for the Richmond Swimming Championship, practicing and working hard has been on my daily checklist. Accordingly, Winning the Richmond Champions was certainly as all the hard work and practice had paid off.

Last year summer, I practiced hard as usual. However, I lost in the championship and earned second. I was very depressed, I thought that I would definitely win the championship again. In despite that, I did not give up, I tried even harder instead. I love swimming, throughout the year, I would take my sister to the swimming pool for additional practice. This year, as the championship gets closer, I practice even harder and harder, I practice almost double the amount than before. Unfortunately, I received second again at the swimming meet. After all, I wasn't upset this time, because I bet my previous record by four seconds.

From this experience, I learned that success and happiness come within when comparing to myself. In the future, I will continually compare to myself, because I know I am constantly improving and learning, and that is all that matters!

Undergraduate / I learned my strength is smiling as it can help me conquer challenges -UBC personal Profile [4]

Hi everyone, please edit or leave a comment. Several of them has reach over the word limits. Please leave a suggestion of where to cut down. Thank you!

Describe up to five activities that you have pursued in one or more of the following areas... Please outline the activity and describe how it affected you or others. (maximum 50 words)

1. 2013 summer, Volunteering at Oak Tree Senior home every Saturday is my favorite event of the week. Every Saturday my classmate and I would prepare hand-made cookies and muffins. We would spend our time with Grandpas and Grandmas, playing bingo, singing out loud and sharing stories. Every Saturday my classmate and I would prepare hand-made cookies and muffins. We would spend our time with Grandpas and Grandmas, playing bingo, singing out loud and sharing stories.

2. I volunteer at Spa Versante every Monday since 2014. As a swimming coach assistant, I developed patience over time. For students that they have never swum before and now passed level 10, it is the best accomplishment and achievement I can have. (42 words)

3. I apply myself to First Express Travel Center and worked as a full time employee during teacher's strike. As a accounting assist, I learned to use their computer system, enter invoices, answer phone calls, and write a monthly income report. Gracefully, I was invited to work again the next summer. (50 words)

4. School's open house is very important, because it reflects and represents our learning to younger generations of our school. I volunteer at school's open house every year. Meeting with teacher to come up with new and creative ideas, setting up, and making sure all the section were operating perfectly were my duties every year. (54 words)

5. Swimming has been my favorite sport since I was very small. Throughout my high school years, I swim twice a week and five days a week during summer. I had attend to tons of swimming meets. With years of practice and experience, swimming had develop me mentally, and physically. (50 words)

Tell us more about one of the activities you listed above by explaining what your goals were, the role you played, and what you learned in the process. (maximum 200 words) (current word count 319....)

As a competitive swimmer, I was offered to volunteer as a swimming coach assistant by my swimming coach outside of practice. Since whenever there is a huge learning opportunity, I agreed on spot without hesitation. Every lesson, I guide students to acknowledge their individual strengths, and helped them to become a better swimmer. In addition, I developed patience and benevolent over time.

The first day, I was expecting to be trained. Instead, I was asked to assist a coach to guide kids that are elementary school ages. As I first got in the water, kids quickly claimed on my back, and pulling my arms. Newbie of me did not have any experience, but smile. The coach would yell at them as they would finally behave. As the lesson starts, I carefully observed coach's teaching technique and apply them. The kids were very playful, at first, it was hard to guide them, but I never lose the smile on my face. Quickly, I became these kids' favorite, they begin to respect me during class time, and have fun with me during our free time. I also begin to love these kids, and I had set a goal. My goal was to be with these tots throughout their swimming programs.

The time passes so quickly, a year of lesson seems like a few weeks, all the students had completed all the levels in the swimming program. My students together wrote a thank you card for me about how happy they were. Throughout this experience, I learned my role as a coach assist is to set an example as a role model, I developed my patience as something I used to lack of, and I learned my strength is smiling as it can help me conquer challenges. In addition, For students that they have never swum before and now passed level 10, it is the best accomplishment and achievement I can have.

Hey guys, I felt like I always reach over the word limit and I'm always unsure of where to cut down. Please give me any suggestions of how to cut down any unnecessary parts as I found it as my weakness.

Thank you everyone

Letters / Email to my teacher for UBC references [6]

Hey guys, this is a email to my teacher in my tutor class for UBC references. Please leave a comment and scout out any grammar mistakes, thank you.

Hey Phil, this is Ethan!

How have you been? I'm doing great! Thanks to your strict and heedful lessons, I am currently getting a decent mark in English!!

I am finally graduating this year, thank you for taking a big part in my learning process. As this is my last year, I am applying to UBC right now. In my application, we are asked to have a reference the first person I thought about was you. The reason is, you are my huge impact in my learning outcomes. I believed that you had seen my gradually improvement both in academics and leaning habits through out my growth.

May I please put you down as my UBC reference? If it is inconvenient, please do let me know as soon as possible.

Thank you,

Best Regards,

Ethan Chen

Undergraduate / I learned that any little things that I do can have such impact to people around me - UBC Personal [3]

Hi this is my personal profile, I have 270 word counts but the paragraph is limit to 200 words, please comment and edit my paragraphs.

Tell us about an experience, in school or out, that taught you something about yourself and/or the world around you. (maximum 200 words)

I'm passionate in computer programming, but a trip to a senior home allowed me to discover a new hobby that i still do it on regular basis. When i was 14 years old, a torrid and serenity summer, I was invited to volunteer at a senior home by my bakery teacher. Our mission was to bake delicious muffins and tasty cookies that we learned and present them to seniors. I thought the outcome would be as I imagined, server cookies and muffins, play bingo with grandpas and grandmas. However, i was ask to exchange the happiest day in my life with the elders. I shared the story that how I received my principal honor roll at school and was asked to present a speech on the stage. In return, a grandpa, Mr. Falcon, shared that "today" was the happiest day of his life. Grandpa Falcon is a happy man but he lost his son unfortunately, regardless, grandpa Falcon learned to smile and move on. Grandpa Falcon said he haven't had someone visited him for a long time, but today he felt delighted and blessed. After listened to grandpa Falcon's story, I felt very warm and fuzzy because I never knew such a small mission can lead to someone's happiest day. In this experience, I learned that any little things that I do can have such impact to people around me. I believe that if I stay positive, then I will have positive influence around me. Till today, I still visit the senior home and grandpa Falcon every Saturday morning, I like to bake cookies, play bingo and share my happiness.