... about the difficulties thatwhich people face when ... ... children are the smallestleast problems for all age.
..., financial problems isshow a slight increase from ... However, it fellfalls to under 30% in oldEST people.
It is also difficultbecomes an issue to old residents with ...
Education for children is an easy problem for old people to...
- do not explain all the problems one by one. grouping the chart will help you to explain clearly the graph. - try to use different patterns of sentences in the essay. Hopefully it helps.
- I think you don't answer the task achievement which is given above. - You should explain why you agree or disagree - i don't find your opinion in the essay, whereas you should put your opinion in introduction or conclusion since the question ask 'do you agree or disagree?'
- You need to check your grammar and some collocation before posting the essay.For example , "..., like easy toget sick and makesuffer from a disease as diarrhea or obesity."
The chart (make it more specific : bar, line, or pie chart) shows about three kind ... ... second most problem for all inhabitants(i don't get the meaning of this sentence) .
... all people who stay at a new country is how tohave a healthy plan. ... this is athe(superlative) biggest problem at ... For adults have the problem at under 30 percent (what problem) and for people ...
- For overview, it is better not to explain the least percentage. you can put it in the body paragraph. - i think you fail to explain the details since it is unclear what the problem are and which group of people who experience the problem.
- don't explain all the details one by one, do grouping will help you to describe the graph well. Hopefully it helps.
- I don't think that you answer the question well since the question talk about why both schools and parents have to be responsible for such an issue, then you answer the reason why children have unhealthy lifestyle. there are also some sentences which out of topic.
- you need to understand the question first before answering it. - In your conclusion, you say that 'both schools and parents are responsible for creating the good character of their children in daily life so that they will have a healthy lifestyle'. i think there is no correlation between character and healthy lifestyle so this also out of topic.
- You have a good control in grammar Hopefully it helps
... middle age for all types of difficultydifficulties.
People havein 18-34 years-old group is the second highest after ... - It is better to make 2 sentences in the overview. - 3 paragraphs are better than only 2 paragraphs in task 1. - don't explain all the details, you need to do grouping so that you can describe it better. - you can use words : youngest, elderly, and middle age so that you can get more various explanation.
Nowadays, technology isdevelopedforin all of aspects, especially in media. ... celebrities' lifestyle than othersordinary people .
For example, media held a surveyed about people ... In anotherOn the other hand, the most essential is ... To sum up, reportingthe lifestyle of celebrities ... - I think you need to make your thesis statement more specific. - your first and second body do not answer the prompt well. In the third body you should explain why media should report ordinary people not about a risk of disaster in people. Catastrophe will affect all people, celebrities and ordinary people so you can't use that reason to explain body paragraph 2.
This is shown by some statisticsfigures that displays (...) that havesuffer from diseases. While the fatherS and motherS give pupils (...) when they are at school, for ... For instance, some foodS that usually soldsell outside the school is dirty, even thoughbut they still buy it. ... and the teacherdo not care, they ...
... because children spend manymuch time in home.
All in all, both schoolS and parents ...
- You need to make your thesis statement more specific by giving the reasons. - There are no coherence between essay and the question. Understand the question first so you can answer it clearly. Hopefully it helps.
... schoolteachers in Ontario washad a downward trend and ... ... was a gradual decreaseD in the percentage of ... ... people who teachtaught English-language wasshowed a sudden fall to 40 ... ... both of Fresh graduate who teachtaught English-language and who teachtaught French language increased ... People who teachtaught English-teacher was ...
- Do not explain all the numbers, use grouping so you can explain it better. - pay more attention in your grammar. Hopefully it helps.
... 18-34 is getting finances at 38 percent . The percentage is 38 percent of this problem .
And then get a higher number than before of 34 percent. At the end, it is adecreased slightly to 28 percent ...
- For an overview it better not to discuss the lowest number. Discuss the main features. - Do not explain all the number, do grouping to make a clear explanation.
... have most problematic situation in a new country, ...
- It is better to make two sentences in the overview. do not explain the lowest number in the overview. - do not explain all the numbers, try to do grouping so you can give a clear explanation.
