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Posts by Mathew8 [Suspended]
Name: Mathematics
Joined: Oct 6, 2016
Last Post: Oct 28, 2016
Threads: 5
Posts: 12  
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Displayed posts: 17
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Mathew8   
Oct 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The charts below show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people [2]

Hello ReskiRamadani88
I have some advice to you

people who are single and have a husband or wife in the US
...i think better if you change with couple

which have partner life spouse twice happier
....partner= couple, spouse= couple related to wife and husband. i think you just one of them

a bit difference between the percentage people
...using between should have two bodies such between alfa and beta
Mathew8   
Oct 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / Wearing office-look clothes is important regarding to some enterprises policies. [2]

Hello Faizunaa17
I have some advice, hope it can help you

.....there are some condition that you need to use preposition
the way (of) the worker using clothes
the clothes contain (of) the company identity

......redundant word. better if you use other conjuction word such therefore
However, one of the most important factor
However, some expertise said that research shows

.....i think this paragraph did not answers the task, because the answer is just value quality of work, not about different between clothes and quality of work

However, one of the most important factor that ...
Mathew8   
Oct 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / The government has predominant role to inhibit the crime level increase [4]

Each year, the crime rate increases.
What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?


According to some research, level of crime steadly increase in the world. Some people or group of people who have authority have to create a new policy to tackle this terms. This essay be able to discuss about the causes and sollutions to solve this condition.

Some people believe that there are two causes of deliquency: from suspect and victim side. Wrongdoing such theft can occur when the victim careless. To illustrate, sometimes there is a unaware person who take their treasure at random place. It give opportunity to other person to commit a crime. On the other hand, a crime often occurs because the condition of the victim requires to do a misconduct. It indicate that crime have two predominant reasons.

Apart from the provious problems, there are some ways that local government can use to tackle this trend. Firstly from education side, the authority has to make an educational activity that transfer knowlegde about how to shield a crime. For example, the local police can organize an event which describes how to protect our family from case of crime. Secondly from technology side, the government can applicate a piece of modern technology which can decrease level of wrongdoing. One example that springs to mind is using close-circuit television (CCTV) in some public areas such as park and central market. In conclusion, government has main role to solve a crime.

All in all, even thought the level of crime always increases these days, the government has predominant role to inhibit this terms. I totally believe that the authority can reduce delincuency with using ways such i illustrates above.
Mathew8   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Becoming an entrepreneur has been chosen by many people instead of being an employee [3]

Hello ifraanisa05
I have a twice of advice to your essay

The main reason is for improving your personal ability
...I think better if you change your sentence like that---->>>> The main reason is because it can improve your personal ability

we started to
....almost there are three times you use started. better if you change to our word that have similiar meaning like begin.
Mathew8   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / China plans launch the biggest space plane to carry 20 tourists - IELTS summary [3]

Hello Dioba
There are some comments from me, hope it can help you

developing and design
...pararell and have to combine both words that have equal position. developing(gerund) is unequal with design (verb)

Big companies such as Virgin Galactic
....using such as if you have more than one example. better if you use like

But , academy team believe ...
...but, do not used to begin a sentence. better if you use while, in the opposite, and other starting words
Mathew8   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Obstruction of the education progress - there are no specific colleges [2]

Summary TED: Do School kill creativity

The speaker name is Sir Ken Robinson, at that time they talk about the real human creativity. Robinson is a person who is fascinated to education, he said it is because education can bring people to know other aspect like religion, economic and technology.

Nowadays there is condition that is obstructing the progress of education. It is because almost all area in the intercontinental have same system education such subject in their curriculum. They give extra attention for mathematics and language, while humanity has position in the bottom. He said the predominant problem is there is no specific colleges. The specific colleges mean school or university that convey materials to their student partially. This university provides all subjects with same proportion one and another. For example, student who want to be a musician, they just teach about guitar, piano, drum and other equipment that have correlation between their job in the future. He firmly trust with his sentiment could growth the inspiration of the scholar.
Mathew8   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / I believe that become an entrepreneur is good choice - business instead of working for a company. [4]

Hello Badafebriani17
I have some advice to you

business innovations build to getting better salary such ...
.....to make a to infinitive, after to have to follow by Verb bare Infinitive (get)

This condition (subj) can increase (verb) their income and productivity (obj) so (conj) ...subj... can help (verb) government to solve problem especially in jobless rate (obj)

....you should add subject to complete your compound sentence

handicraft from waste (subj)it (subj) can rise innovation
....double subject
Mathew8   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Learn Culture from its Language which is the utmost important instrument to communicate with people [3]

Hello nda18
i have some advice to you, hope it can help you

People can deducing the culture of a nation by comprehending their language.
......i think you should use verb bare infinitive (deduct), because after using modal (can) have to follow by VBI

the majority Javanese speak calmly and slowly
.... you should use of between majority and Javanese

Different to people living in Medan, a city at North Sumatera
.....collocation of different is from, so you should change to with from
Mathew8   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Communication via Internet - it simulates a simple dialogue like people had done in the past. [2]

With an increasing population communicating via the internet and text messanging, face to face communication will become a thing of the past.

To what extent do you agree?


These days, making a conversation with other people in the internet is so common in the society. Some people believe that it eradiates a simple dialogue like people had done in the past. I totally believe with this projection and this essay be able to discuss about some reasons why it would happen.

The reason why people tend to make some discussions via internet more easy. This is because there are lavish number of social media that give simplicity to talk with people who far from our place. For example, most people now have gadget such mobile phone. They can use it to communicate with their family, client or customer. As a result, people do not neccesitate to move from their own place and almost all of people fell convenient to do that. There is no doubt that this could change the ancient manner of conversation.

In addition from the previous reasons, there are some factors why recent people are more likely to choose modern-chat. To begin, in the modern period people need a technology to support their daily life. For example, sometimes worker who have hectic schedule in their office use a social media to consult with their colleague. Futhermore, most people believe that talking in the facebook, taking as an example, is more economical than face-to-face communication. To illustrate, they tend to open their mobile phone if they want to communicate than have to go out from their house.

To sum up, the predominant factors as a reason why communicate via internet more common these days are more ease, cheap, and can help busy employees. Without a doubt i extremely believe that social media can vanish the ancient talk method.
Mathew8   
Oct 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Both deforestation and global warming are very important issues of human beings in today's world. [3]

Hello Alfa7
there are some advice to you, pay attention if you wish

There are lot of problem(s) running around in our daily life
....you have to write problem with s because you use there are that give indication with plural subject, and you use a lot of that have meaning large number

Global warming is effect from producing of carbon dioxide ...
.........the collocation of effect is on/of , so you should change from with on/of

It increases of The Earth temperature ...
.....you no need to use preposition (of)
Mathew8   
Oct 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Logging brings harm to the ecosystem. The damage causes habit loss, pollution and climate change. [4]

Hello Fauziyahtami
I have some advice to you, pay attention if you wish

... of a swath of trees. (then, thus, and) Terrestrial and aquatic life ...
.....there i no connecting word both of your sentence. i think you should use it

Actually you have skill to write, but sometimes there is no colleration between one sentence and another.
so, pay attention with your flow in your essay
Mathew8   
Oct 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Mott Hall Bridges Academy opened in 2012 that have simple target: open a school to close a prison [5]

Why open a school? To close a prison - Nadia Lopez

Mott Hall Bridges Academy opened in 2012 that have simple target: open a school to close a prison. It is located in the Brownsville section of Brooklyn, one of the most underserved and violent neighborhoods in all of New York city. In the early opening, they face numerous of challenges like finding teacher who can emphatize with the complexities of disadvantaged community, and lack of funding technology, low parental involvement, and neighborhood gangs that recruit childern as early as fourth grade. For the first class, they just have 45 children who want to join in this school. Some student in ths school have different goal such as be engineers, scientists, entrepreneurs, and even leaders who can and will take over this world. As a result, by some struggle process, they have had three graduating classes, a a 98 per cent graduating rate. It make this school going to some of the most competitive high schools in New York City.
Mathew8   
Oct 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / H.A.I.L. - it's the key which opens listeners ears and consciousness for spoken words [7]

Hello Erwin
there are two advice to you, hope it can help you

There are four really powerful cornerstones, (and) foundations
.....i think you do not need comma, but and

... powerful cornerstones, foundations,thatwe(it) can stand on if we want ...
... i think it more better if you make a new sentence over there
Mathew8   
Oct 7, 2016
Writing Feedback / Article Summary - Google Introduces the Pixel, Its Own Smartphone [4]

Hello Abrahamlincon
I have a twice of advice to you

The Google's CEO, Sundar Pichai remarked that this projectedexecuted
.......there are two verbs in your sentence
.......projected= verb
.......executed= verb
.......you have to eliminate one of them


to provide (article) computers can understand what ...
......i think you need an article before noun
Mathew8   
Oct 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task II The internet has transformed the way information [5]

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Enormous number of people believe that the internet has been imposing people to give and take an information. Surprisingly, there are large number of negative impact for the human being. However, the society can take steps to address such drawbacks. These problems and solutions will be obviously explained in paragraphs below.

Surfing in the internet is a phenomenon that brings great convenience and efficiency. But, there are some potensial risks that presented by this phenomenon. Firstly, social media involves personal information that most people enable to see. If the user carelessness, anyone can have access to that information. Secondly, it is obvious that there is a sharp rise in the number of cyber crimes. More and more ciber crimes such as human selling and prostitutions are committed via the internet. It is well-known as ciber crime, for example, recently there is a accident that someone was hacked a billboard to show unpleasant content in south Jakarta. Finally, an internet-addicted person tend to be isolated, self-centered and unsociable. They have no much time to make a face-to-face communication.

To answer the problem in previous part, there are three sollutions that might solve the problems. From government side, the authority can make a regulation to inhibit demerit of this strugle condition like a rule that give maximum punishment to suspect of ciber crime. Next, the drawback of internet can be reduced by combination between government and technology. It could be a center office that authority possessed. It can inspect the user that potentional to do an illegal movement on the virtual world. But apart of previous sollutions, education is a vital aspect to minimize the disastrous effect of internet. People that using internet have to know what the benefits of internet that can help and what the drawbacks that can degradate their life.

To recapitulate, government, technology and education have essential role to deal with decreasing effect of using internet.
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