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Writing college admission, application, and scholarship essays (page 2)

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My history with mathematics!

2 - Are you some sort of Math major? The reason I ask is that the subject you chose for this...

UndergraduateSpandy Sigdel - Oct 20, 2024 / Holt - Oct 21, 2024

"Restart" - Emerson College - what would you title your story and why?

2 - I would suggest that you use the title of the essay at the very beginning. Use a title header...

UndergraduateLicho - Oct 18, 2024 / Holt - Oct 19, 2024

Don't make up more trash - Math COMMON APP

2 - I believe that you are trying to discuss the evolution and development of your interest in the Math and...

Undergraduateazuuu - Oct 18, 2024 / Holt - Oct 18, 2024

Ramen noodles - Personal Essay for College

2 - Ramen noodles are supposed to be a part of the lesson that you learned during this time. However, that...

Undergraduatekidwantsknowledg - Oct 18, 2024 / Holt - Oct 18, 2024

The chart shows the total distance travelled by passengers on five types of transport in the UK

2 - Sadly the report veers more towards and automatic failing score since it does not meet the 150 minimum word...

UndergraduatePN356 - Oct 17, 2024 / Holt - Oct 17, 2024

Tintin comics were my favorites - common app essay

2 - I am not sure which prompt you are trying to respond to with this essay so my advice regarding...

UndergraduateAmrutaPundlik - Oct 17, 2024 / Holt - Oct 17, 2024

Ballet dancing - Common App Personal Essay

3 - @Holt Thanks for responding, I looked over my essay and also used grammar and could not find any spelling...

Undergraduatek1chikkk - Oct 14, 2024 / k1chikkk - Oct 14, 2024

Tell us who you are - what would your friends/family say

2 - The most common mistake that college applicants make in this presentation is that they always address the input in...

Undergraduatestrawberrymilk - Oct 14, 2024 / Holt - Oct 14, 2024

The Paradox of Freedom - A College Entry Essay

2 - Do not lose sight of what these college application essays are for. That is, to help the admissions officers...

Undergraduatemiaarpasi06 - Oct 14, 2024 / Holt - Oct 14, 2024

Most significant challenge: Living in the shadow of my twin

3 - Hi, I think your response is very interesting to read. Not a lot of people can write about an...

Undergraduateeandrad321 - Oct 8, 2024 / strawberrymilk - Oct 14, 2024

Essay #1 Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups

2 - You are too simplistic in your discussion. Review the requirements for the content and the basis of the discussion....

UndergraduateNandia20060709 - Oct 11, 2024 / Holt - Oct 12, 2024

Defeated ego (undergraduate essay)

2 - You need to edit the word count for this essay. You have to bring it down to 200 or...

UndergraduateMomovich - Oct 11, 2024 / Holt - Oct 12, 2024

importance of friendship - UBC Personal Profile - What's important to you

2 - I would not change anything about your response to the prompt. It is important to discuss how your mental...

Undergraduatestrawberrymilk - Oct 10, 2024 / Holt - Oct 12, 2024

How well I know the applicant - Davidson Peer Recommendation Essay

2 - You are not the right person to be writing this essay for this applicant because you do not really...

Undergraduatech3gl - Oct 6, 2024 / Holt - Oct 10, 2024

Reading Stories; its impact on my perception of Sexuality (Common App)

2 - This is a wonderfully crafted look into your personality and why it would make you stand out as a...

Undergraduatecadearoos - Sep 30, 2024 / Holt - Sep 30, 2024

Space Boys NFT - My College Application Essay

2 - While the prompt you chose for this narration seems to be applicable on the outset, a deeper reading will...

Undergraduateyonathan2121 - Sep 29, 2024 / Holt - Sep 30, 2024

Navigating Change: Lessons from Birds in Flight - US College common App

3 - @Holt We wrote this for Common App Prompt 1 Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that...

Undergraduatejunkcsr - Sep 28, 2024 / junkcsr - Sep 28, 2024

Finance and Business - UT Austin Transfer essay/Statement of Purpose

3 - @Holt Thank you for the feedback! So to clarify, I should mainly at the start expand on my experiences...

Undergraduatecarlos0524 - Sep 17, 2024 / carlos0524 - Sep 26, 2024

Perfectly Imperfect - personal statement | International Relations

4 - Merged: Personal Essay / International Relations / PERFECTLY IMPERFECT Personal Essay Share an essay on any topic...

UndergraduateHaiha0205 - Sep 17, 2024 / Haiha0205 - Sep 23, 2024

Learning My Limits (College Essay)

4 - If there was one piece of advice I could share with the world, it would be to embrace mistakes...

Undergraduatezbilly06 - Sep 20, 2024 / zbilly06 - Sep 22, 2024

Motion graphics and animation - sop for ugrad

3 - @Holt yes but its an culture exchange program ....

Undergraduatemaheen07 - Sep 21, 2024 / maheen07 - Sep 22, 2024

My Biggest Victory - Event in my life that illustrates my personality traits - GKS-U essay to PNU

2 - You are not supposed to present your personal statement in chapters. You are to write a full, compiled, and...

Undergraduateelectrise - Sep 21, 2024 / Holt - Sep 21, 2024

Mechanical engineering student - Personal statement for the GKS

2 - Since you are applying as an undergraduate for the Mechanical Engineering course, there is no sense in discussing your...

UndergraduateAimanomania - Sep 21, 2024 / Holt - Sep 21, 2024

To become an engineering student - GKStaking the track of University track

2 - You are applying under the university track of the GKS scholarship, making your application process more cut throat than...

UndergraduateHowarderlguitang - Sep 20, 2024 / Holt - Sep 20, 2024

Second Language a Commitment - Essay Assignment

3 - Acquiring a second language involves more than just picking up a new ability; it's a commitment that calls for...

UndergraduateSampson L - Sep 13, 2024 / KelvinG - Sep 16, 2024

college app essay about my mom's battle with cancer

2 - What you went through does not qualify as an obstacle, challenge, setback, or failure. This is a personal tragedy...

Undergraduatesashay - Sep 13, 2024 / Holt - Sep 15, 2024

A gap year that created Lexibridge

2 - Unfortunately, you cannot end this essay because you have not even completed a draft version. Your ideas are good,...

UndergraduateBbaaye - Sep 12, 2024 / Holt - Sep 15, 2024

Chat with friends - lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success

2 - The story is good, nut not appropriate for the prompt. It is not supposed to tell the story of...

Undergraduateazlan69 - Sep 9, 2024 / Holt - Sep 11, 2024

Psychology journey - statement of purpose for UGRAD

2 - The approach to the statement of purpose is too simple. There needs to be more depth to the personal,...

UndergraduateArmeen - Sep 9, 2024 / Holt - Sep 11, 2024

A whirlwind of hobbies - Personal statement

3 - @Holt Hi, Thank you for responding so quickly. I am choosing to complete the "essay of choice" option...

Undergraduatewhoopdeedoo - Sep 9, 2024 / whoopdeedoo - Sep 10, 2024

Dear Future Roommate and Human Alarm Clock - Stanford Roommate Essay

2 - Well, this is definitely a fun way of introducing yourself and your culture to your potential roommate. However, there...

Undergraduateaadij - Sep 8, 2024 / Holt - Sep 8, 2024

(-1) + (+1) isn't equal 0. Personal statement

2 - I am not sure what this personal statement is all about. What prompt are you responding to? I have...

UndergraduateYoyo_mahgop - Sep 7, 2024 / Holt - Sep 8, 2024

Camp Green Lake - The lessons we take from obstacles can be fundamental to later success

2 - I was just about to say the same thing. You cannot use the book because not everyone has heard...

UndergraduateLazarus931 - Sep 1, 2024 / Holt - Sep 2, 2024

Applying to Columbia University Undergrad Fly-In Program for the school of Engineering,

2 - Your presentation is highly confusing and difficult to understand because you are trying to respond to several questions within...

UndergraduateBandup123 - Aug 25, 2024 / Holt - Aug 25, 2024

Academic Decathlon - [QuestBridge] Essay about the challenges I have faced

2 - This is a compelling story to share for your application consideration. While it is insightful, I feel like the...

Undergraduatethreeclaws - Aug 23, 2024 / Holt - Aug 25, 2024

Dentistry - personal statement for GKS-U Program

2 - Delete this. You have been instructed to write the essay either in full Hangul or full English. You...

UndergraduateZlppleh - Aug 18, 2024 / Holt - Aug 22, 2024

GKS-U personal statement ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for the review I'll be sure to send an updated version soon ☺️...

UndergraduateOjezeemi - Aug 12, 2024 / Ojezeemi - Aug 14, 2024

The final race of an athlete - UBC Personal Profile

2 - You do not have to introduce yourself and the origins of your family in Canada. That is not required...

Undergraduateitsmedavis - Aug 6, 2024 / Holt - Aug 7, 2024

College Essay on my journey and passion towards Health, Safety and Environment

2 - Do not close the essay with a reference to Cornell and Professor Nellie Brown. This is a personal statement....

UndergraduatePrial - Aug 5, 2024 / Holt - Aug 6, 2024

Essay for a low income student scholarship about learning something new

2 - The discussion of EcoTech is not aligned with the prompt requirements. That total paragraph can be removed without affecting...

Undergraduatelofpty - Aug 1, 2024 / Holt - Aug 4, 2024

UBC Personal Profile - Various perspectives

2 - Avoid the reference point "I" in the descriptions from your parents and friends. You need to make sure that...

Undergraduatemdamissu - Jul 28, 2024 / Holt - Jul 28, 2024

Computer study / electronics - Personal Statement

2 - The personal statement is not a long discussion of your academic interests. Rather, it is an introduction to your...

UndergraduateSyke - Jul 17, 2024 / Holt - Jul 17, 2024

Gks study plan for Undergraduate for law 2024/25

2 - Your pre arrival language preparations must be of the ongoing kind rather than the future preparation kind. It is...

UndergraduateBrownie j - Jul 16, 2024 / Holt - Jul 17, 2024

Personal Statement: Can a cat teach a seagull how to fly?

3 - @jarkish U made use of the word passionate when you shouldn't. instead of saying that you're passionate explain how...

Undergraduatejarkish - Jul 16, 2024 / Ezinne - Jul 17, 2024

Common App Essay Draft - 12 PM: Overcoming a challenge

2 - This is a highly personal essay. Thank you for sharing it with us. Your struggle was real and it...

Undergraduaterubyh18 - Jul 10, 2024 / Holt - Jul 13, 2024

Machine Learning - Statement of Purpose for an exchange Program

3 - Thank you so much for the feedback. I have taken it into consideration and made the required changes....

Undergraduatebikraj2 - Jul 4, 2024 / bikraj2 - Jul 5, 2024

2025 GKS mass media major. Pusan national university

2 - Considering that you are Nigerian and not Korean, it will seem implausible for you to be so focused on...

UndergraduateEzinne - Jun 30, 2024 / Holt - Jul 3, 2024

"We do not remember days, we remember moments."

2 - You may want to expand on this discussion and find a way to make it more relatable to...

UndergraduateADITI PATEL - Jun 23, 2024 / Holt - Jun 24, 2024

Personal Statement for Common App Essay about Cultural Identity

2 - This is a very engaging essay that clearly shows your cultural background and what it means to your youth....

Undergraduatescnwanna - Jun 13, 2024 / Holt - Jun 21, 2024

My passion for justice - Personal statement as a law student applying for gks

3 - @Holt Thanks. One essay per thread please....

UndergraduateJessie345 - May 29, 2024 / Jessie345 - Jun 15, 2024

Blood of Hope (Columbia GS Admission Essay)

7 - @marietovlerone This essay is really beautiful, and in my opinion, the drama of the beginning can work in your...

Undergraduatemarietovlerone - May 25, 2024 / scnwanna - Jun 13, 2024

Determination in Sports-Personal Statement

2 - I am not sure about how to review this personal statement. It does not follow the requirements of the...

Undergraduategnooch - May 20, 2024 / Holt - May 27, 2024

University of Toronto Engineering Essay: Extracurricular Activities

2 - The response is too vague. It only skims the top of your experiences. There is no actual involvement narration...

Undergraduateakmaster101 - May 17, 2024 / Holt - May 21, 2024

I wish I could live in Alice's Wonderland

2 - do not use a movie reference in the essay. You should most specially avoid referencing a movie when you...

Undergraduateana03 - May 2, 2024 / Holt - May 4, 2024

Gks 2024/25 Politics and International Studies

2 - The story of your parents is touching. However, it is not clear how politics and international relations would have...

UndergraduateDamilola christ - Apr 24, 2024 / Holt - Apr 28, 2024

Waterloo Computer Engineering: Engineering Interests and goals

2 - The response is strong when it comes to your theoretical and academic foundation. However, that strength is weakened by...

Undergraduateakmaster101 - Apr 23, 2024 / Holt - Apr 28, 2024

Waterloo Computer Engineering: Reasons for choosing your program

2 - I would avoid referencing "since I was young" in this case. Most reviewers tend to see such references as...

Undergraduateakmaster101 - Apr 19, 2024 / Holt - Apr 20, 2024

Point of view different from a teacher or employer - FIT Portfolio

2 - The tendency of your response is to be too vague. You are not making enough specific references in the...

Undergraduateelipulpo - Apr 9, 2024 / Holt - Apr 20, 2024

University of Washington Department of ECE Admission Essay

2 - I am not sure about how to review this essay because you did not provide any guidelines for the...

Undergraduatejustj - Mar 29, 2024 / Holt - Apr 2, 2024

"why you are considering transferring and how MIT aligns with your goals"

3 - @Holt There is a word limit of 225. I have to go straight to the point in the best...

UndergraduateTimztech - Mar 9, 2024 / Timztech - Mar 11, 2024

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