Scholarship / 'alleviating the financial burden' - How will this scholarship help you? [3]

Hi, I am currently applying for a scholarship that requires a loaded response to a prompt which is "Describe (in 300 words or less) how the scholarship would help you achieve your goals and describe the major you plan to pursue at our university, as well as your activities and interests." Any suggestions on how to improve it or make it more emotional. Your help is deeply appreciated. Thank you.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have been intrigued with the processes of the brain and how they manifested in each individual. I questioned what was happening within someone's mind that drove him or her to act in a certain way. I propelled myself into researching anything from disorders to optical illusions to grasp an understanding of this unique organ, the brain, and how I could influence, in a positive manner, how people interact with reality. After learning so much, I felt compelled to help others by changing the way they perceive the world. Through painstaking research, I discovered the benefits of psychiatry. I yearn to one day become one because it contains the best of both worlds: using past research to efficiently assist a client and using, or doing, current research to further understand the complexities of the brain. Going to your university and majoring in biology will expose me to on-the-job situations I will face during my career as a psychiatrist.

By alleviating the financial burden in my life, my energy will be focused on assuring my education and extracurricular activities are geared towards the success of my future career which is helping others change their perception of the world. I hope to discover activities that I will not only enjoy, but also strengthen my leadership and communication skills to ensure the success of my future career. I am currently looking for community service opportunities, like working with kids because I am interested in continuing the tutoring and leadership activities I did at All Children Excel in School (ACES). I also want to be involved in intramural tennis as well as a program like Forensics which will provide strong building blocks for my communication skills.

All of these activities I plan on participating in are leading me down a path to becoming a successful individual during my stay at your university and in the future. With the help of this scholarship, my possibilities are endless.