Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by yurikeyuri
Name: yurike ika cahyo
Joined: Nov 10, 2016
Last Post: Dec 2, 2016
Threads: 43
Posts: 49  
From: Indonesia
School: Sepuluh Nopember Institute of Technology

Displayed posts: 92 / page 3 of 3
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yurikeyuri   
Nov 14, 2016
Writing Feedback / Dark Chocolate Reaps Heart-Healthy Benefits [6]

Hello, I give you my correction

Most of the people think that chocolate brings a lot of diseasediseases because it contains have too much fat.

Based on this article, there isare two ways (to be must are because it plural noun)

... an experiment for 44 yearyears old people

thank you
yurikeyuri   
Nov 14, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summarize article : Why Yellow Birds Mysteriously Turn Red [3]

Hello Andika, let me give you my correction for you

... bird's yellow feathers which have strangely turned red.

... northern birds which isareliveslive in the West

The birds isare eating red berries ...

thank you for your attention.
yurikeyuri   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / High Education for Arabic Woman is Rare Phenomenon [6]

Education is important aspect toward high standard life for the human. But this statement still rare in Arabic country, especially for the woman. For according from the result of Arabic woman interview, The higher education just for men not for the woman. The woman just to married in younger age to built a family with her husband, then she also manage a utility of family and her kids.

In this research, we tried to interview many arabic woman that backing to education or still staying position to get more high education. They are come from politic activism among university student, teacher, or wife of household. She is telling about the motivation to get higher education still now that is getting independent life and not always on depend to men for their life. She believes that the education can control a better life for her. Finally the higher woman from Arabic countries wants becoming the role model for another Arabic woman mainly and to influence the other women's life in the world.

Source : ted
yurikeyuri   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Negative Impact of Plastic Pollution In the Sea World [3]

The birds is one of carnivore animal in the world, which is hunting a fish as daily food for live. Birds make one of body part, called their noses, to catch many fishes in rivers, ocean, or lakes. Another function of their noses is dangerous sense. But now, pile of plastic in the sea especially is cause apprehensive problem for the environment and sea birds mainly.

The amount of plastic in the sea is more than 5 trillion pieces floating around world's seas. It can offend the way of food chain. Another negative impact of this pollution is resulting sulphure compound which it can threatent many marine plants and animals, such as algae, crustaceans, and seabirds also. To evidence this hypothes, the researchers is using 13.350 birds in 55 experiment. The result is sulphure compound from plastic make the seabirds sniff out to search for food quickly. Because the smell of plastic same like a food for the seabirds.

Finally plastic in the ocean make negative aspect for the environment, then also it can make the seabirds is using the sight and the scent to eating trash as their food normally.

Source : newscientist
yurikeyuri   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / The Natural Exotic Flying Park on The City [4]

Transportation is important aspect to mobilization the people from one place to another place in the city. Train is one of kind land transportation which many use with people in the world. The train has line in the sky with 30 feet of height, is called high line. But in this modern era, the train has under line in underground of the city. It is because about one person in a mounth that is killed and run over, so the train in high line was elevated.

The consequence of this case is many high line of train leave unattended in the city. Because aesthetic function, the high line must be collapse but it is not solving problem and need cost too much for it.

Finally, the other solution is changing the high line of train in many city into park city to towards beautification of the city. The design of this park was inspired by the wildscape. The purpose of this project is saving high line from demolition working from government and the citizen can enjoying the city building. To make this project become real, it need one hundred dollars to built in over 20 years tim period. It can take from increasing of taxes in the city.
yurikeyuri   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Which way a cargo were delivered in UK in the 28 years timeframe? [5]

Hello Iffa, let me give you some correction for your writing

... about how much goods were distributed by various ...

In 1974, about 70 million tonnestons "the plural of ton is tons, not tonnes" of goods distributed by road

... at above 40 million tonnes. tons "the plural of ton is tons, not tonnes" .

I recommend you must explain the stabil state in the figures of four different modes of transport. It can resulting many words for this writing.
yurikeyuri   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / The quality of customers service in the Parkway Hotel [3]

Hello Andika, let me give you some correction for your writing

In 2005 a (...) dominated the result of "missing article, you must add article the in this statement for write correct sentence" the questionnaire at 45% but (...) 17% in 2010, need connector "finally" making its position be ...

... stayed at fourth place in "you must be add an article the" the 2005, but in the year ...

... causing them stay at"you must be add an article the" the fourth and fifth position.
yurikeyuri   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summarize article : Ebola rapidly evolves to be more transmissible and deadlier [5]

Hello Andika,
I have some correction for your writing, hope this help you..

Ebola has been destroydestroyed "because it must use V3" people life.

A" I think in this statement need article the" The latest news, both Luban's (...) Nottingham, UK, "need a connector which" five the information ...

Many scientistscientists"because is plural noun" predict the best way ...
... It could be happening to"it must add to because make complete word " allow its talent ...
yurikeyuri   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Jokowi congratulated the United States President-elect, Donald J. Trump [3]

Hello,
I will give you some my correction, hope this help you

President of Indonesia, Joko "Jokowi" Widodo, congratulated the (...) Donald J. Trump, on Wednesday a few ...

you can reconstruct the paragraph with from common to specific information, so this paragraph can change in the second paragraph in here.

Donald J. Trump won the election because the United States ..."I think this information not important to inform in this paragraph, maybe you make change it with information about place of the Donald Trump's winning" .

maybe you can change your statement in
He said that as the name of (...) in Indonesia, said that he congratulated to ...
yurikeyuri   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary NewScientis "Plants 'see' underground by channelling light to their roots" [2]

The growing plants can increase with transfer sunlight directly down into underground roots. It supports with many light receptors in stems, leaves, and flowers of the plant. But we must notice that light receptors in the roots are not function in dark soil. The researches of Seoul National University in Korea, Hyo Jun Lee, was report that stems act of the plants have a function as fibre-optic cable that conducted to phytochromes which known is receptors light in the roots. The researches is using the A.thaliana speciments for this experiment.

The comparison of the evidence of light source and chemical signalling use to optimation of growing plants. This show that the light have more benefit such as light transfer directly than chemical signalling. But we must warn especially that the longer wavelength light can be obstruct the bactery in photosynthesis process.

Finally, we can conclude that light signalling would be faster than chemical signalling because theee was little light mobilization in between a stems and roots, anf finally it can use light signalling for mobilize that..
yurikeyuri   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / The consequences of Work or Travel before Starting New Study Life in University [2]

Hello Sarlinda,
maybe I can help you give many corrections for your essay, such as :

I think must be there areis international language ...

The many languages can confusingconfuse other people

so there are many languages in the world

but not many languages must be learned. we can learnedlearn "because modal + V1

language sertificatecertificate is started"because after verb must V1 or V ing, not V1"

thank you, keep on write :)
yurikeyuri   
Nov 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / The types of things purchased in five regions of the world in 2002 is provided by the table [4]

The percentage of types of things that >> maybe "that" can you use not in here were used and were spent by (...) in 2002 that is provided by the table.

... country that consumed at 28.91 percent ...

... other countries (Italy, Spain, and Sweden) that "because there is two verb and we must use connector" consumed the ...

my suggestion is :
you can introduce about the name types of things in order to improve your amount of the words

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