Writing Feedback / People were asked if and why they traveled abroad (1994-98) [4]

100,000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98.

Visits abroad by UK residents by purpose of visit and destination

Question: The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98.

The second chart shows their destinations over the same period.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

Answer:
The given table shows figures taken from a survey which recorded the number of UK residents out of 100,000 that traveled abroad and their purposes from 1994 to 1998. The bar chart depicts information regarding the mentioned travelers' destination over the same period.

Overall, the majority of UK-based residents traveled abroad for recreational purposes from 1994 to 1998. It is also notable that Western Europe remained the most popular destination amongst those visitors throughout the period.

In 1994, there were slightly more than 22000 UK citizens who traveled abroad, and holiday-goers accounted for about 3 quarters of the figure. This number dropped to approximately 21600 in 1995, before surging up to almost 29000 at the end of the period.

As observed from the bar chart, about 18000 UK residents traveled to Western Europe in 1994, and this figure dropped accordingly to the mentioned decline in visitors, followed by a rise up to almost 25000 in 1998. Figures for travelers that went to North America and other areas also saw a slight increase, which is inconsiderable compared to that of their counterpart.

This is my attempt at a recent actual IELTS writing task 1. I did not understand the question thoroughly so I had to take a look at some sample answers and it took about 28-30 minutes for me to write this. I know I had to work harder on my planning and vocabulary to respect the time limit, but in the meantime please give any feedback to this essay, and a suggested band score if possible.

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Writing Feedback / Developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid [3]

financial help for developing countries?

Question: Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essay: Nowadays it is usual practice for wealthy nations to offer financial aid to their poorer counterparts, but unfortunately, this proves an ineffective method in the combat against poverty. As a result, some would argue that said countries should offer other forms of assistance rather than money; and while this and my thoughts concur partially on the need to give various types of help, I firmly believe that they should also be accompanied by financial assistance.

As a matter of fact, most of the money received in the aforementioned donations is initially distributed to many departments of the governments, prior to actually reaching the hands of poor families. The presence of corruption in developing countries, namely those in the Middle East, although covered by layers and layers of deception, is somewhat undeniable. Therefore it is vital to offer various types of assistance, including political analyzation of poor countries' governments and appropriate suggestions, to ensure an effective movement against poverty.

However, without the appropriate funds for developing countries to make the necessary changes, other forms of help cannot be pushed to their limits. For instance, financial advice is of little value to those who have no money to spend. What's more, ensuring that the donated money actually reach poor families is undoubtedly pointless if there was no money available to distribute in the first place. Financial support might not be well spent by the recipient governments, but its nature will be best incorporated with other types of assistance.

In conclusion, I admittedly believe that other forms of help are required of first world countries to offer to the poorer nations of the world, but I am also of the opinion that they should always be attended by financial aid in order to rid citizens of poor countries of their miserable conditions.

I know I had some serious reasoning issues with this essay, and I spent a little too much thinking time on this, which all resulted in more panic time for me. Please give me feedback on this and some suggestions for me to think faster and write a comprehensive plan in ielts writing task 2; I think I have some issues with thinking up points for the task and to support it appropriately.

Writing Feedback / Statistical information about the underground railway systems in six cities [2]

the year of opening, the total route length and the passengers number

Question:
The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Answer:
The provided table denotes the year of opening, the total route length in kilometres and the number of annual passengers in millions that six major cities' underground railway networks receive.

As is observed from the table, the older a railway system is, the more kilometres of rail route it comprises. It is also worth noting that Tokyo's and Paris's railways systems receive the largest numbers of passengers per year, whereas this figure is relatively low regarding Kyoto's and Los Angeles's complexes.

Turning to the details, it is apparent that London's railway system is established in 1863, prior to the opening of all its counterpart. With a considerable 394 kilometres of rail route, it is a solid exemplifier to the aforementioned trend. A notable exception to that is Los Angeles's network, with 28 kilometres of railway - 17 kilometres longer that that of its Kyoto counterpart - while being the latest in terms of opening date.

A detailed look at the passengers column reveals that 1927 and 1191 millions are respectively the number of annual customers Tokyo's and Paris's underground railway complexes recieves, while 45 and 50 millions are that of Kyoto's and Los Angeles's.

While i wrote this in about 27 minutes with a little research for synonyms of "system", i feel that i've improved from my last IELTS task 1, at least in terms of sentence length. Please give any feedback and a band score if possible.

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Writing Feedback / Advantages and disadvantages of having tourists and scientists travel to remote natural environment [4]

Question: It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole.
What are advantages and disadvantages of this development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

exploring isolated areas on Earth

Essay: It is our natural instinct that urges each and every one of us to go out and explore this intricate, yet beautiful planet. Alongside the rise of technological developments, travelling to some of the most isolated areas on Earth - namely the South Pole - has become a reality, for both scientists and many dedicated tourists. But similar to any previous cultivations, this development ought to hold many benefits and drawbacks of its own, which will be thoroughly discussed in this essay.

The first and foremost advantage of this development is the fact that many researchers can travel to remote areas and gain valueable data and artefacts. Therefore, they will directly contribute to mankind's previously limited knowledge of these areas. For instance, foreign scientists once vist the South coast of Vietnam to examine a deep and dangerous cave, in which they conducted many careful measurements. Another benefit of the aforementioned reality is the boost in economy for countries in occupation of these remote lands. Some of these countries are considered toddlers in the business of tourism, so this development will greatly stimulate many services for tourists, thereby improving the economy.

However, owing to the isolated locations of these natural areas, sometimes it can be incredibly gruesome and tiring to resolve any possible problems. For example, when a group of tourists or researchers get lost in a snow-capped mountain, the rescuers can have very limited view or navigation due to snow storms and very strong winds. Furthermore, conducting researches or erecting tourism departments means disturbing the natural habitats of many animals in these areas. An exemplifier is the polar bear, whose habitat has been penetrated recently. Many of today's species are on the verge of extinction, and this development can help to put them in indefinite rest.

In conclusion, it is undoubted that having groups of scientists or crowds of tourist pouring into an isolated natural environment has become a reality in the modern age. While this cultivation has its own stunning merits, there are also some disadvantages that require some considerations.

I know this essay is extremely long, but i thought it's acceptable on its own; i know i should limit my writing in the real test. I wrote this within the time allotment, so i had time to proofread, but i decided not to drop off any parts. Anyway, please give me feedback on this and a suggested band score, if possible.