Writing Feedback / ielts task 2 : essay about health problems (causes and measures) [2]

Question:
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.
What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Impact of Lifestyle on Health

Nowadays people are living in a stressful lifestyle with a heavy workload and unhealthy diets. Those who are under pressure have a high possibility to suffer from health problems such as cardiovascular disease or obesity. This essay is going to discuss the main problems and how we can do to fix these problems.

To beginning with, one of the main reasons for the health problem is competition. It is undeniable that people living in the developed countries face the highly competitive environment; thus, they usually have to put more effort to make living, Individuals choose to sacrifice the leisure time which they can do sports or exercise instead of keeping working. In a study shown in Taiwan, around 70 per cent of office workers confess that they do not have time to relax for playing sports because they are occupied with works. In this case, I think the company should recruit more employees to ease each worker's workload, after all, the 'people' are the most important thing in business.

In addition, diet habit also plays an essential role in our body healthy. Owing to globalisation, the number of fast food restaurant is a significant increase. Many children prefer to eat these high-calorie foods rather than natural foods; moreover, parents are too busy to pay more attention to their kids' diets. This may cause children are overweight. Maybe the government could try to impose the tax on the fast food restaurant or support the organic stores to change customers' eating habits gradually. Most importantly, people have to develop the habits about sports or exercise, both of them can help us stay away from diseases, make us happy and own a healthy body.

In conclusion, exercise and doing sports are the two key factors to keep us in shape, it is true that all of us are busy at work but our health is much more important than anything.

Thank for everyone who would like to help me!

Writing Feedback / IELTS2: Are the problems that international travellers cause greater than the advantages they bring? [3]

essay about the tourism industry

TOPIC: International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Are the problems that international travellers cause greater than the advantages they bring?

It is true that the international tourism industry has become more popular than before. Although there are those who may argue that this is a negative trend, I hold the belief that the advantages behind this trend far outweigh its drawbacks.

From my perspective, environment protection is the first and foremost issue nowadays. However, we all know that the fast development in the tourism industry would bring some problem to our society and there is a dilemma between development and environment. In the past, people could go to a beach and appreciate the beauty of sunset happily but now we seldom have a chance to do that because of the pollution. Many tourist attractions have been destroyed and lose their colourful scenery due to the prosperity in the tourism industry.

In spite of the above arguments, I still see this is a positive trend. The foremost reason for my point is that the development of international tourism improves our economic growth and even creates more job opportunities than before. Some traditional stores near a tourist attraction mainly depend on travellers to survive, and also many people work as a tour guide or offer a service to visitors. Moreover, governments could not only make more money from the tourism industry but also promote countries around the world. As a result, the development of international tourism is a positive evolution.

In conclusion, there are some pros and cons to this development, and I believe that this is a benefit in our lives.

Thanks for any advice!

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1: pie charts about the average percentages of nutrients [3]

A Closer Look inside american meals

The charts compare the average proportion of three different nutrients (sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar) in typical meals in the USA.

Overall, it can be clearly seen that dinner contains a higher proportion of sodium and saturated fat than other meals. However, fewer nutrients are added in snacks and breakfast.

According to the charts, sodium takes up 43% and saturated fat accounts for just under 40% in dinner, which is the most significant fraction of all. By contrast, only 23% of added sugar are contained in dinners. Besides, lunch consists of exactly 29% of sodium and 26% of saturated fat, which takes the second part of the charts, while just under one-fifth of added sugar in lunch.

In terms of breakfast and snacks, which are healthier meals than dinner and lunch, contain less unhealthy ingredients, the figure for saturated and added sugar of lunch are slightly higher than in breakfast, about 10% and 3% respectively. As for sodium, both breakfast and snacks contain 14% sodium in it.

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Writing Feedback / The amount of time spent by telephone in the UK, in three categories, over the seven-year period [3]

UK telephone calls by three categories

Topic:The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billion) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

The chart compares the amount of time spent by people in the UK in three categories over the seven-year period starting in 1995 and finishing in 2002.

Overall, it can be seen that there was an upward trend in fixed line (national and international) and mobiles from 1995 to 2002. Besides, although the number of minutes of local call was the highest in the period shown, it experienced a downward trend in the last four years.

In the year 1995, the category of fixed line (national and international) and mobiles calls had increased gradually. To be more specific, there were about 35 billion minutes of national and international calls in the first year, and the number kept rising to just over 60 billion minutes in 2002. In terms of mobiles calls, only less than 5 billion minutes in 1995, however, the number increased rapidly and reached its peak in the year 2002, at just over 45 billion minutes.

With regard to local fixed line, the figure for it had increased steadily, from around 70 billion minutes in 1995 to 90 billion minutes (which was the highest point) in 1999, a rise of 20 billion minutes. After that, the figures for local fixed line fell, only approximately 72 billion minutes in the last year of the period.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 : essay about self-study and study in group [4]

best learning method for students

TOPIC: Some teachers say students should be organized into groups to study, while others argue that students should be made to study alone.
Tell the benefits of each study method. Which do you think is more effective?

People always have different views about what is the best learning method for students. Although there are those who may argue that students should study by themselves, I hold the belief that putting students into groups is the superior learning way.

From my perspective, the first and foremost reason why people think studying alone is the best way is that students can be more independent than others. Self-study students normally have abilities to deal with all difficulties themselves instead of asking for help from teachers or peers. In other words, students would be capable of addressing academic problems independently which is considered as a benefit in today's society.

However, from my point of view, I believe students should be organized into groups in order to study effectively and efficiently. Admittedly, schools or universities are like a small society, each person in this society could learn various essential skills such as how to be an excellent leader or they can sharpen their communication skills. In my personal experience, when students are put into small groups, we have to learn how to express our ideas in a well-mannered way and accept others' opinions politely at the same time. As a result, students would grow mentally and physically and become more mature during the discussion. Besides, collaboration is another principal factor why students should study with others with diverse backgrounds and personalities, we may learn how to be a good team player and realize the importance of cooperation. If students lack these experiences, it would be difficult for them to be a well-rounded person.

In conclusion, it is obvious that studying in groups is much more beneficial to students than studying alone; therefore, I am convinced that studying with others is a more effective option.

Graduate / Job market - Personal Statement (apply for graduate school in the UK) [3]

I appreciate for all advice!

my interest to obtain this degree

I am applying for a master's degree in {xxxxxx} as I believe this degree will set me in good stead for my future career. Recently I have taken on an internship opportunity at {xxxxx}; this experience arouses my interests in the world of commerce and industry. I have researched this career deeply and I wish to upgrade my academic knowledge and soft skills at the University of {xxxxxx}. I am convinced that studying this subject at your prestigious institution will help me reach my goal and become more competitive and successful.

Currently, I am a master's student at {xxxxxx} University in Accounting. In a class I took in college, called Financial Statement Analysis and Research, the professor asked us to analyse a company's growth prospects, and forecast its value. Without prior practical experience, this was initially very challenging. To gain insight into this company's financial structure and industry outlook, I gathered financial information from the company's annual report and spent extra effort to search for relevant business reports to evaluate the company's operational condition. Through numerous conversations and discussions, I integrated my collective knowledge and successfully completed this project.

Even though I was successful in completing this assignment and gained positive feedback from the professor, I learned from the case study that real-world business situations are far more complicated than class projects due to the degree of difficulty in gathering unbiased information. As a result, I am eager for the opportunity to gain more experience regarding the real market in my chosen career.

During an internship at {xxxxx}, I was working for various clients and managing plenty of documents. Through this internship, I realized the importance of excellent communication skills. It is necessary for everyone possesses great written and communication skills. Clients view us as the experts on the subject matter; therefore, we should always ensure that we communicate our opinions effectively and put our best effort to help them deal with difficulties.

I am enthusiastic about addressing problems for people or society. This summer I have participated in a programme called SATU SMART 2.0, which is about solving pressing issues such as water contamination or air pollution. Participants from different countries were put into groups and worked together to conduct this project. From this programme, I was able to sharpen my listening skills and also learn how to be a good team player. For example, we normally have different ideas in our discussions. In this case, it is essential that we can express our own opinions in a well-manner way and accept others politely at the same time.

I look forward to setting myself new challenges and building upon my existing experience, which will hopefully help me achieve my ambition of being an outstanding consultant. By studying overseas, I will gain precious life experience such as learning how to organize my life, handling unforeseen situations, being independent and self-sufficient. As for the reasons why I choose the UK as my study destination are that UK universities have an impressive international reputation and rank among the best in the world. Besides, English is the most important skill in today's global business arena. Speaking English fluently can greatly improve my job prospects.

My attraction to the degree as well as my suitability to the career is clear. The programme at the University of {xxxxx} not only offers me comprehensive professional skills, but as an international student, I am given opportunities for career guidance appointments, CV checks and mock interview. All of these resources are exactly what I need for pursuing my career aspirations.

After earning a degree in this course, I believe I can improve my professional abilities and increase competitiveness in the job market. My short-term career goal is to become a consultant at a company in the UK for assisting its decision making. If I am unsuccessful in securing employment in the UK, I plan to seek a position within a Big Four accounting firm in Asia. Ultimately, I want to build my career in a management consulting firm where I can fully capitalize on my cumulative abilities and experiences.