Undergraduate / Developing Runner's Mindset -- Common App Essay for Stanford [5]

Common App Essay for Stanford. It is my first draft and I would appreciate any critique/suggestions for my 2nd revision.

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By the end of freshman year, my best mile in track was 6:40. Everyone else was well under six. I frequently finished last in races. I became convinced that my body wasn't built for sports, and that I simply wasn't athletic. At that point, I only stayed in track because running helped me stay in shape.

Or so I tried to tell myself.

It really bothered me. I usually would spend the last minute or so of each race not only straining to finish, but also feeling sorry for everyone else who had to wait for me to cross the finish line. I wanted to do better, but didn't quite know how.

During my sophomore year, I had not made much improvement either. I still had to return early from our off-campus distance runs, because I could not finish the full workout with the team. I was improving, but not at the rate I wanted. My time dwindled to a low six-minute by the end of that year.

My junior year, I finished my first race with a 5:53; a significant feat. I was finally under six with everyone else. It forced me to reconsider my perception of my athletic ability.

My attitude changed immensely. I began to realize that it wasn't that I couldn't finish those distance workouts, but that I was able to not finish them.

I returned with the team from each run thereafter.

I developed an emotional attachment to running, and it quickly turned into an obsession. I came to practice not because I wanted to shed a few pounds, but because I wanted to run. Running was the test of my new mindset that I could do whatever I put my mind to. If I could start with a modest mile time, and trim it down to something more extraordinary, then I believed there was nothing else I couldn't do.

My best time so far is 5:35. Although it was not the most impressive time on my team, it was quite an accomplishment to me. However, my greatest achievement was overcoming my old mindset, which stunted my growth as a runner. Previously when I began to hurt during a run, I would have eventually given up, because I hadn't yet trained myself to endure the pain. But my junior year, once I became determined to finish each workout with the team, my tolerance for pain increased.

This mindset-the mind's resistance to the body's desire to slow down or stop-applies not just to running, but almost anything in life. We cannot reach our full potential if we persist in our comfort zone. It is this perseverance and the determination to finish that leads to our successes.

This year I plan on ending my senior year with a sub-five minute mile. I know it's possible. I had finally overcome the last barrier-myself.

Undergraduate / "hope you like having fun" -a note to future roommate -- Stanford supplemental essay [3]

Hey!

My common app essay and 2 other supplemental essays deal with serious topics, and here I try to be light-hearted. Comments/suggestion/critiques are welcome.

Topic: Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better. (250 words or less)

Dear Roommate,

I would like to apologize in advance, because I know that it will take me a while to remember your name. Not that I dislike you; I'm just better with faces than names.

My name is [Fill in my name], but you can call me whatever you'd like until I get your name down. I love running, especially in the mornings around five when the weather is cool. I have to wake up early, because in Phoenix, waking at seven could mean running in near-hundred-degree weather. Of course, at Stanford, I could run any time of the day, so you needn't worry about me waking you up.

Speaking of the weather, I reserve the right to laugh if you think temperatures under 100 degrees are hot. After years in Phoenix, I've come to think of heat more as an inconvenience than a discomfort. But I also bestow you the right to laugh at me when I complain that 65 degrees is cold.

Other than that, I like calculus or physicist jokes. I drink lots of water for my running. I incessantly have to go to the bathroom (surprise there). I've developed immunity to caffeine from many late nights studying. I write more than I talk, although the balance is starting to swing in the other direction. I draw lots of aliens, though they're supposed to be humans. I get along with almost anyone, and I really look forward to meeting you.

I hope you like having fun.

Undergraduate / "interested in many subjects" - Why Stanford -- 2 draft ideas and help me choose [3]

I have 2 draft ideas. I struggled and struggled, and I can't seem to decide which one addresses the prompt better. Please help me decide. And any comments on either of them are deeply appreciated.

Prompt: Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you. (250 words or less)

----------- Idea 1 -------------
I often use Wikipedia as a resource or supplement to my schoolwork. I always enjoy reading deeper into the subject at hand, and browsing other related articles. And this chain-reading can be endless, which is a sign of knowledge "big bang."

I am interested in many subjects. However, my pace of developing any specific interests can't seem ever to match the speed of ever-expanding universe of knowledge. I feel I have been pulled into so many different directions. If I am forced to declare my interest, I would say I am mostly interested in biology, psychology and possibly music technology.

Coming to my aid is a college guide book, Choosing the Right College. Two review comments on Stanford, one positive and one negative, convinced me that Stanford is an ideal university for me.

The first comment appraises the world-renowned programs in all four disciplinary areas-humanities, social science, engineering and natural sciences. Although I lean more in the direction of natural science, I know I would enjoy exploring other subject areas, and look for opportunities to make a connection between the seemingly different subjects.

The second comment critiques Stanford's gradual shift towards high-tech, specializing in solving the question of "how" to achieve a goal and possibly forgetting the fine art of asking "why." However, I think this goal-driven approach to higher education is useful in our time for dealing with the explosion of knowledge and developing a person's interests effectively and quickly. I definitely would like to develop my interest before I need to decide on my major in college.

------------- 2nd idea --------------
I'm sitting in a park right now as I'm writing this. It's a cool afternoon, and the park is completely silent. The quietness of the park, combined with the size gives my mind space to roam. One of the best things that I like about working in an environment such as this is that not only does it help efficiency, but it contributes to the quality of work as well.

I've written many different drafts for this prompt now, but I've discarded all of them because there's always the nagging feeling that the essays just don't do justice. This topic has frustrated me the most, because I just didn't know what write about. I've written a lot about Stanford's academics, but I felt that I was only covering the obvious, since Stanford is so renowned.

But being in the park has helped me realize what I appreciate about Stanford. Stanford has the largest contiguous campus in the US, and not to mention one of quietest and most aesthetic as well. It sits in a suburban setting, and is far away from the noisy city (walking distance, anyways). I've always believed that the environment one studies in is an important factor, because it helps determine what you get out of it. When I visited Stanford, I experienced the same feelings that I do now, as I sit in this little park: a sense of calming and liberation, and peace that is without distractions and allow me think openly. And I think that it is the combination of this environment as well as Stanford's academic vigor that will help me get the best out of college.

Undergraduate / "Looking down the Second Floor" - Stanford Supplement -- Intellectual Vitality [5]

I like my essay idea very much, but I am afraid that the main idea behind my experience may be a bit obscure. It may backfire if it is. Let me knwo how you feel.. Any other comments are also very much appreciated.

Topic: Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging. (250 word maximum)

Title: Looking down the Second Floor

I stood on the second floor of my school by the window. School had just ended. I looked on as little figures scurried about. People-watching was one of my favorite pastimes. I watched how they moved, and interacted with one another. I liked to imagine what they were thinking, what they were feeling. Their pasts, their futures, their relationships.

There was something about being on that second floor. I felt different from all the others: a passive observer, staring down at the little objects running about. Perhaps even a bit like a deity. Below me were hundreds of little sheep, unaware of flock they were part of. A bubbly teen. A football jock. A weary teacher.

A blonde girl.

She was seated on the benches outside under the trees, seemed to be staring right at me. "What was she thinking?" I thought. We held our gaze, like weary knights trying to outstare their opponent. Could she be playing the same game as I? I decided that she was.

Suddenly, I no longer felt I was on the second floor. I was suddenly outside, staring at her face to face. The crowd swept by around us as our showdown continued. Eternity ticked away. Finally I broke off the stare and turned around.

I was back on the second floor, but felt a sudden unease of disbelonging. The halls were silent and filled with nothingness. The classrooms were dark, the teachers having already left. There was no longer a reason for me to stay upstairs.

I opened the double doors next to the window. I transcended the stairs and immersed myself in the crowd.

Undergraduate / UC Essay -- I am a runner, track and cross-country [4]

Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

Any improvement comments are appreciated.

I am a runner. I wasn't born a runner, but after four years in track and cross-country, I've become one. I wake up early morning to run about seven to eight miles. With the exception of summer, it's still dark outside at 5:00, and possibly even cold. It usually takes a great effort to get out from the comfort of my bed and go running, particularly in the oncoming of winter. Even in the cool summers, the thought of remaining in bed is much more alluring than that of running. But I abandon my blankets for my Brooks trainers anyways.

There is something invigorating about running an hour every day. After each run, I feel empowered with an ability to accomplish anything. Perhaps it has something to do with the rush of endorphins afterwards, but I mostly attribute it to the fact that I run. <Transition needed> Distance running is a difficult activity, not only because it's difficult to get up in the mornings and start running, but also because it's difficult to continue. Each step comes with strain in the legs, torso and chest, and even with pain, thus each step is also a tempting point for the runner to stop.

But my years of running with the track and cross country teams have taught me not to stop. I've learned to fight the strain, pain and other discomforts I encounter when I run. I see that the long-term gain of running the entire route is greater than the temptation of stopping-I simply have to just keep on running.

The International Baccalaureate (IB) program is perhaps the longest distance run I've ever had. The workload in IB is heavy, particularly Senior year-the Extended Essay, internal assessments, CAS, Theory of Knowledge, and the sudden bloom of various projects. I also partake in extracurricular activities, such as March of Dimes, National Honor Society, Special Olympics, and of course track and cross-country. There are so many different things that demand my time. Over the course of four years, my sleep has gradually been reduced to about five hours a night, which occasionally leads to episodes of sleep-deprived stupor during the day-comparable to the feelings of complete exhaustion in the middle of a long run. On the most difficult days, I've toyed with the idea of quitting IB to help ease my workload, but I refused to accept that as an option. I am absolutely determined to complete the IB program, and I know I can.

I am a runner. I don't want to stop running because I want to reach my full potential. I know that resisting the urge to stop will not only help me go beyond my limits and allow me to accomplish more, but also develop the can-do attitude that I can apply to other aspects of my life. With this mindset, as well as a runner's determination, self-discipline and perseverance, I believe that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. I run, therefore, I can.