Undergraduate / "I can't, I'm Mormon" - extracurricular activities [6]

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer, 1000 character maximum).

Here's what I have come up with so far. I don't think I was able to provide enough details/examples, but it is currently 168 words.

I once read a t-shirt which read "I can't, I'm Mormon". I laughed as I read, thinking they couldn't be further from the truth. I may never see an r-rated movie and my Sundays and much of my free time may be consumed, but because of my being a Mormon I am now able to water-ski, speak in public, prepare a speech of the cuff, sing (well, to an extent), play the cello, and lead a group of my peers. Religion may not seem like an "extracurricular activity", but my church has allowed me to participate in more activities and volunteer work than if I were to join every club my high school has to offer. I doubt I would be able to do any of these things were it not for my church. Not only has being a Mormon expanded my opportunities to try new things and serve others, it has made me realize how much I can learn and do if I am willing to try.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated particularly regarding the topic and ways i can shorten it a little.

Undergraduate / "My biggest blunder; cutting down the wrong tree"- Common app essay [10]

Just finished a draft of my common app essay. I had a very hard time coming up with a topic and writing an essay; i'm no good at writing about myself. This is the best I could come up with. Not much of a topic but I did what I could with it.

I'm concerned it might not be serious enough or a little unclear. Please let me know what you think I could change to make it better.

Of course please be harsh and make any changes you feel necessary, be they big or small.
Thank you in advance for the help and I promise to return the favor for any advice.
p.s. it's only around 500 words because Yale wants it that way

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you

Here's an updated draft. I'm still undecided on a few things; I think i'll implement a few other revisions soon. It would be great if someone could let me know if anything is unclear about it still.

"Why did you cut down that tree?" my dad asked as he inspected what I then thought to be a completed assignment. I was about to refute the validity of his question, claiming that it was what he had asked me to do several hours and a gallon or two of sweat earlier (not sure about this last bit) . I then stared incredulously at another tree, still standing, just a few feet away, and realized all my work had been worthless. I had cut down the wrong tree.

My backyard used to consist of a meager patch of grass, a small garden, and a couple of grapefruit trees. My mom, wanting to expand our garden, was obstructed by the position of one of these trees. Seeing that this tree no longer produced any fruit she decided it was time to chop it down and uproot the stump of the offending plant. Shortly thereafter, despite my best reasons why my brother ought to be enlisted to the task instead, I was out hacking my way through a tree trunk. This was by no means a pleasant task, as anyone who has been in Arizona during the summer can attest. Strangely it never crossed my mind whether or not this was the correct tree. Motivated by a desire for an air-conditioned room and to move on to whatever apparently forgettable plans I had that night, I completed what I then thought to be the task at hand, thinking only of finishing as quickly as possible.

This motivation made learning that all my blisters and sore muscles had been for naught all the worse. My first instinct was to blame my blunder on someone else, or find a way around repeating the arduous task. There was no one else to blame and no other solution. I came to terms with what I had to do and, now knowing full well what lay ahead of me, I grudgingly began work on the correct tree.

This left me with an unwelcome amount of time to reflect on the mistake I had made. I was surprised to find that this time was considerably less than expected based on my previous experience. At first I thought maybe this tree was smaller, or the roots may not have been as deep. I then realized the difference was my own experience. After having done the same thing just moments before I knew exactly how I ought to swing the axe and just where around the stump I ought to dig.

It may not seem like a very significant experience, but it taught me not to fear failure, but learn from it as I make a second attempt. Rather than getting angry and frustrated over having done a math problem incorrectly or being reprimanded by my parents, I try and isolate what led me astray and refrain from repeating that mistake. From chopping down the wrong tree, I have learned not to avoid mistakes and their consequences, but to face them and learn from the experience.

Undergraduate / "Chicago, the scientific community" - Why Northwestern? [NEW]

Just finished my Northwestern essay. It's not the best, nor the most original, but I'm fine with that. Any advice would be great on anything you see wrong with it; I would be glad to reciprocate the favor. It's not very long, and I'm not sure if thats a problem. Let me know if you think I should try and add more to it.

What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

Having lived in Naperville, Illinois as a child I can recall visiting the beaches of Northwestern's campus. Being only five years old at the time I doubt I even knew what the word "university" meant, but I remember seeing the campus and wanting to go there someday. Of course I had very few reasons why I wanted to go at that time, aside from Northwestern's proximity to my house at the time and its beautiful campus. Since then, I've developed a few better reasons why I know, as a seventeen year old, find attending Northwestern to be an ideal opportunity.

Topping the list is the integrated science program unique to Northwestern. My prospective field is physics, and it has become apparent to me that in order to anything with physics a solid background in mathematics is prerequisite. As such an undergraduate experience that not only has a solid physics department, but an effective means by which these two fields can be incorporated was one of the largest contributing factors in my college decision. Thus a "tailor-made honors curriculum that integrates mathematics with the sciences" is ideal for me to reach my goals not only in the next four years, but as I advance to graduate school and a career. I hope to be involved in research someday, and in order to make a contribution to the scientific community experience in all fields of science and as well as research is essential. The integrated science program offered by Northwestern meets any and all hopes I could have to give me the tools to be successful in the future.

Many of those I have told my career plans to have been surprised I hope to attend a liberal arts university, thinking a liberal arts focus detracts from the "hardcore" scientific curriculum. I don't find this to be the case with Northwestern. The fact Northwestern is a liberal arts university means to me that I can receive a multifaceted education in any field I have interest while pursuing my major, and infuse these other fields to my own interest of study. Not to mention the lack of reputation as a school for physics majors means I can get more hands-on attention and experience with less competition for lab space and smaller class sizes.

Since having lived near the Chicago area when I was younger I still remember the awe I experienced while in that city. I would revel in the opportunity to return to that area again in the pursuit of knowledge at a first-rate university and take in all the experience and knowledge that area has to offer.

Undergraduate / free afternoon + physics teacher compliment + the bing bang + questions - Yale [6]

Here are my answers... Let me know what you think of them, or ways I can improve.
Thank you in advance

Why Yale?
Still formulating a response...

What would you do with a free afternoon tomorrow?
I would use most of the time getting through a book off my list of things I haven't yet had time to read. The rest I would spend outside; either running or playing soccer.

Recall a compliment you have received. What was it? From whom did it come?
My physics teacher once called me a "freak"; a distinction earned by only a select few. This made me realize I didn't just enjoy physics, but have a chance to be good at it.

If you could witness one moment in history, what would it be and why?
Not sure this counts as history, but I would want to witness the moments just before and after the big bang because I want to understand how and why things are.

What do you wish you were better at being or doing?
I wish I was better at worthwhile questions. All the information in the world is useless to me without a question I want answered.

What other question would you ask that we have not?
What is the one thing you could not live without?

Undergraduate / "the Arizona sun lifeguarding" - Princeton- My last two summers [3]

Here's my Princeton summer break essay. I can't believe I procrastinated this long, but its due today so i'm a little desperate for help. Any revisions, particularly near the end, or just general thoughts on what I can improve would be greatly appreciated.

Please tell us how you have spent the last two summers (or vacations between school years), including any jobs you have held, if not already detailed on the Common Application.

Because of my exceptionally white skin, many are surprised to learn that the bulk of my last two summers have been spent out in the Arizona sun lifeguarding. While I may have failed to get a tan I did ascertain considerable work and life experience. Motivated by my love of swimming and pressure from my mom, who had been a lifeguard as a teenager herself, I applied for a job as a lifeguard after my sophomore year. Having sacrificed my spring break to become a certified rescuer, I was rather nervous about whether or not I would be hired based on the economic situation of the time and the reports I had heard from friends of unsuccessful attempts to get a job. I was relieved when I was able to find work and make use of those hours of training.

During that first summer I was hesitant about my duties as a lifeguard; watching over a hundred people whom I was responsible for was a nerve-racking thought. The possibility of what could happen if I failed to do my job correctly haunted me originally. My training had given me some confidence, but it wasn't until I had spent some time guarding that I was able to feel comfortable with my responsibilities. Despite my experience, I still feel a combination of uneasiness and pride concerning the prospect of rescuing someone. I guess it's rather fortunate that I gained more experience cleaning toilets while at the pool than I did performing actual rescues. Over the last two summers I have performed three rescues, and though it may not seem like many I feel a sense of accomplishment when I think of them.

The time I spent outside the pool was used hanging out with friends, attending scout camp, and reading. One of my favorite things about summer is the fact I have plenty of time to read. Some of my favorites during that time were The Count of Monte Cristo, Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead, 1984, and of course, the final Harry Potter. It's a good thing the last Harry Potter came out during the summer, because otherwise I may have been tempted to ditch school for a day or two to when it came out. The rest of my time was mostly spent swimming, drawing, just watching television, and simply enjoying the time I had off.

oh, and i didn't underline book titles here, but I did in my actual essay

Scholarship / "Physics: the understanding of mankind through research" - BYU - career goals [2]

Essay #2:
Please describe your educational, professional, and other goals. Describe how BYU
will help you achieve them. Limit your response to 300 words.

How can matter be both a wave and a particle simultaneously? I have no idea, but I would certainly like to find out. Questions like these, about the universe and the how the world works, have always fascinated me. It is in finding answers to complicated and interesting questions that has inspired me to pursue a career in science. Though I did not realize it at the time, my love of science began at BYU: At the age of two I remember standing in awe, at the enormous dinosaur in particular, in the Eyring Science Center with my parents while they were attending BYU and being fascinated by it. Because of this, from the very start of my life BYU has been associated in my mind with scientific intrigue. My interests have been refined over the years, but the desire to understand the natural world has led me to an interest in physics, and to BYU. As Albert Einstein once said "science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind". This is what makes BYU the ideal place to study physics: it possesses the unique synthesis of these two, science and religion, thereby providing the only holistic view of both. I intend to study physics and eventually earn a Ph.D. so as to be involved in researching and teaching in that field. Though this career I hope to increase my understanding of things as they are. But more importantly, I hope to give the knowledge that I find so valuable to others who can, with any luck, get some use out of what I hope to discover and teach. My ultimate goal is to make a difference in this world; by adding to the understanding of mankind through research, and assisting those whom I will teach, I intend to accomplish it.

This is my scholarship essay or BYU. It is due tomorrow, so any suggestions would be great. BYU is very much a religious university for those unfamiliar with it; and i'm actually considering trying to integrate more religious aspects in if i can.

its a few words over the limit, but I think the last two sentences can be combined into one. Also i'm a little unsure what to think of the intro...

Any specific suggestion or general suggestions on what I can improve would be greatly appreciated