Writing Feedback / 'people have to work and experience new things' - When people succeed [4]

TOEFL - ''When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success.''Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above?

There is no doubt that people can reach to their desire and aim by hard working, but I believe sometimes there is something ales that interfere to people's success. There are some sign of them that can prove them.

To begin with, we can see a lot of students in schools and universities that are always studying hardly and they spend most of their time on reading also some of them occupy their spare time with studying, too. In spite of these efforts, when we see the result of exams there are some students that have grate mark toward the students than have extensive reading, and while you are talking to them they say we took our exams with chance and we even did not open our textbook just for second and they call themselves lucky.

What is more, there are a large number of scientists and inventors during the history. Most of them wrote on their books that although they had strove a lot and they devote all their lives, they reach to their invention by chance, therefore luck play a great role on people achievements.

In conclusion, people have to work and experience new things to achieve the things that they want such as goal, desire, demand. Yet sometimes something

happens in people's life that shows luck can play a great roll in achievements.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL- Should university give the same amount of money to its departments? [2]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement ? University should give the same amount of money to their student's sports activities as the give to their universities library.

Universities are built with a lot of departments. Absolutely they need sum amount of money for doing some works such as: up to date their stuff, rebuilt their buildings, etc. I agree that university should give the same amount of money to their departments.

One of the most important part of a university is library, so it needs a huge number of books such as textbooks in all fields, encyclopedia, etc. Although some donate a number of books; however, they not enough and university needs to perches more. In spite of the costs of buying books the people who works in library have to be paid.

Second nowadays people pay attention more than past to sports. Many students like to spend their free time in university's club, for price of membership is reasonable and it is accessible so department of sport in university has a lot of member that need sportsgear, a standard place, trainer.

All of these are costly.

To sum up, although the sum of departments might be a bit different from each other, university have to consider the amount of money for all departments. It makes no different which department, it can be sport, library, labratoury, food court.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL - It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city? [2]

It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city? Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays living is possible on every place of the world, but still there are some differences amoung them. From my point of view big cities can be a good place for bringing up children.

To begin with, it is undeniable that education is better in big cities in comparison with countrysides. For instance in my country the best schools,universities and institutes are located in cities, and todays education is one of the most important parts of our children's life.Therefore it is a good idea for children to past their first earlier life in the cities.

What is more, it is acknowledged that a large number of creational facilities are built in cities.Children who live in cities have a lot of entertainment. For example playgrounds, parks, science museums, cinemas etc. However, in countrysides we hardly ever see creational facilities. Children who live in countrysides most of the time pass their free time in farms.

Finally, in big cities children access to media easily, so they can learn a lot of things by watching television and surfing through the net.Via internet they can have connection with the other children all around the world, therefor they can exchange their knowledge, they can learn different cultures.

To sum up, although countrysides have some advantages such as fresh air , peace, and etc. Today's children needs somethings to entertain them, and occupy their leisure time in the best way.

Writing Feedback / TOE- 'Revolution' - a historical event in your country that had a crucial effect? [3]

Hi. I am preparing for TOEFL exam, and English is not my first language.It has been 6 month that I started learning this language, so I am too weak in essay . Please help me.

Thank you

What historical event in your country has had a major effect on your country ?
My country has faced with a lot of revolutions throughout history, and all of them have had different influences on people and country.I did not exist in each of the revolution that took part in my country,but while I read history of my country I think the last revolution was the best in some points.

First of all, after the last revolution my country has had a huge development in education.Today education is possible for most of the people, however, before the revolution it was just possible for rich people. Everyone did not allow to attend universities, so most of people were illiterate in that time.

Second of all, highly-educated has helped an revolution in technology and medicine. Before the revolution electronic devises and medicines were imported from the other countries, but today our engineers, scientists and physician do all them by they own, also we export some our products to other countries.

Third of all, many jobs have been created. The rate of unemployment has decreased. People make money and they can afford their livelihood, so this occasion decrease the rate of murder, mugging and pickpocketing.

To sum up, from my point of view the last revolution in my country has had enormous effects. It has affected on various wide range such as education, economy, medical, and people are safer and more comfortable in comparison with the past.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL-Technology deteriorates humans thinking. [2]

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate

At first human made technology and nowadays technology dominate not only us but also our lives.There is no doubt that technology has had a huge impact: some of them have brought benefits for us and some of them have been adverse. Unfortunately today's people rarely can see the disadvantages of technology, and i imagine because of their busy life, they can not sense them.

First of all, most of people have an individual cell phone. They do a lot of their work with it: people set their cell phone to remember them some something, for instance their dates, important days ( date of births ) , etc .Although these are positive points of technology people gradually become unable to member or remember the things even merely things .

Secondly, it is acknowledged that a huge number of students use calculator to solve math problems. Though it helps to save their time, sometimes they can not answer a simple problem such as subtraction of two numbers.They have relied on calculators, therefore they are unable to do something simple on their real life for example when they go for a shopping they do not know how much is their change.

Thirdly, an enormous number of devises have invented throughout history that can do a lot of work instead of people, and people have extremely relied on them. For instance if one day one of gadgets do not work in an office, workers refuse form working until that devise be repaired and start to work again .

To sum up, technology has made our life easy. We can enjoy from our moments with them ( listen to our favorite music, what television, meet our friends via webcam and Internet ) , but sometimes it cause some problems for us too.From my point of view technology can be used in different ways, and it depends on people to how use them.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL_Some prefer to work for a company, some prefer to work for themselves. [3]

Some people prefer to take a position in a company and work for the company. Other people think is better to go into business for themselves.Which do you think is better?

There are many kinds of jobs in society. Some of them are done by companies that related to government, and some of them are done by privet companies. Although both companies have their advantages and disadvantages, I woud prefer to work for myself, and have my own business.There are many benefits when people work for themselves rather than work for the others.

In the first place, there are a large number of opportunities in privet works that you cannot find them when you work for the others. In your job you can be boss of yourself; however, in the other jobs someone else are your boss. You always have to be responsible for your task, and it make a stressful situation that I never like it.

What is more, when people work for themselves they make more profit for themselves, but in the other jobs you make profits for the other such as your manager. Unfortunately nowadays most of them pick up this profit without sharing a small sum of it with their workers, and from my point of view it is unfair.

Finally, there are some authorities in privet jobs that workers are always looking for them while they are working for the others. when you work for yourself you can punch in and punch out whenever you want. Sometimes some occasions happen to people for example a disease, sticking in a traffic jam and sometime going on a vacation. For all of them we have to ask for a permission, and most of the time we are not allowed.

There is no doubt that working for the other have some advantages, too, but I imagine people that have their own business are more comfortable. They have more opportunities, profits, and authorities.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL- Sometimes a situation demands people to do thing they do not like! [2]

People should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

There is no doubt that everyone likes do thing that he or she enjoys it, and it is human's tendency. However; sometimes a displeased situation appears that we cannot ignore it. Save someone life, and taking care of someone .These are some examples that we have to do even if we do not like them.

To begin with, sometimes some natural disasters occur, such as flood, earthquake and hurricane. They cause a large number of problems. One of the most important of them which threatens people's life. Collapsing buildings on people an earthquake, trapping people in cars and buildings in an flood and hurricane. In these occasions the first aid can be ordinary people. Although these situations are not pleased, before arriving rescue team ordinary people can save many lives.

What is more, sometimes a situation occur that we have to take care someone, such as a patient. This patient can be one members of our family, or a friend or a neighbor. As much as taking care of someone is boring, time-consuming and displeased, we have to do it. Someday a problem, difficulty and disease come up for us, and maybe these people are the first people who help us.

In summary, no one likes to do things which they do not like them, however; sometimes a situation make them to do them to save a life or taking care of an patient.