Undergraduate / 'saw the meaning of such a useful advice' - Andover Admission Essay [7]

What is the most valuable piece of advice you have been given? How has that advice changed the way you see yourself, others, and the world?

There are many people that have given me advice in the past, some might be useful, and others may not be. Out of the hundreds of advices I have been given, there is one that I think is the most important, and it is not given by a family member, nor a mentor, but by one of my trusted peers. This valuable advice not only helped me then, but it hasalso helped me now, and will continue helping me in the distant future. The advice that I had been given was to believe in yourself. At first, I was incapable of understanding the meaning of this advice, I didn't know how that was going to help me. But later, I finally saw the meaning of such a useful advice. When you believe in yourself, you are more likely to succeed than those who question themselves.

When I was in 6th grade, the worst grade of my life, I wasn't doing so well in math class. I was constantly getting bad grades on tests, projects, and all sorts of assignments. I was almost on the verge of collapsing, I had no faith that I would be able to pass the class. It was then that my friend came and offered me one of the best advices that I havehad ever received. I remember vividly that I had a 62% and there was only 2 weeks left until the marking period is over, and there iswas only one project left. I got home that day and tried to believe in myself and complete the project and study for the test that is comingapproching, although I was still having sporadic thoughts, I tried my best to ignore them and focus on my past successes. The project dragged on for hours, and for hours I tried to believe in myself, at first it was in vain, then after an hour or so, my confidence grew and I tried to work on the project to the best of my capabilities. Consequently, after handing in the project, I received an outstanding grade, which brought my average grade up. My friend's advice has driven most of my academic life. I thought about his advice when completing a difficult task, such as the SSATs, and writing the essays to enter Andover right now.

You have areally good essay here, made a few corrections- they are the ones in red.Thanks for checking mine. Good luck:)
I understand that life is challenging, and there will be moments when things seem desperate, and when we will lose all hope and faith, but even then, we need to believe in ourselves, if we don't even believe in ourselves, we will not succeed. In order to surpass challenges, you must first conquer yourself and all your fears. Once you have succeeded in accomplishing that, you are ready for any challenge the world poses.

Undergraduate / 'If I did not come to America'..' - application essay to PDS [9]

Explain a event that had an impact on your life, your way of thinking, or the world.

On May 5th, 2006, at exactly 9:30 AM, I boarded Asiana Flight 3625, and got ready for my journey The United States of America. This is a journey that will inevitably impact my life. Once I arrived in the John F. Kennedy International Airport, I was ready for a new life. The United States differentiated from China in various ways, such as basic freedoms, people's way of thinking, and the people's way of life. After I came here, many of my habits have been affected.

One of the first things that changed was my recognition of my basics rights. In China, the government controlled newspapers, television, and all media sources. Also, we weren't allowed to oppose the government verbally, but in The United States, freedom of speech grants us the right to express our feelings. In The United States, all citizens are granted a speedy trial if they are convicted of a crime. But in China, if a government official accuses you of a crime, you can be automatically executed, or thrown into jail for life. Such freedoms also affected my way of life, as I became more extroverted.

Being an extrovert has many advantages, now, I am able to make many new friends, and experience the American way of life. The American way of life brings me a new perspective in life. I now realized that you should have fun when you can, and live life to the fullest, but when you are working, you have to concentrate and focus to do your best. In America, I also learned to play sports, participate in extracurricular activities, and volunteer in many events that might help the community. One sport that I learned to play in America is tennis, as I was playing with my friends one day, they introduced me to the concept of tennis and taught me the basics of it. If I did not come to America, I would've missed out on the joys of playing tennis.

When I was in China, I was more of a conservative individual, living life traditionally, and was afraid of big changes. But The United States transformed me into an active liberal person. Now I petition against certain government acts, argue about politics in public, and I welcome new changes in society, as I see that it is the only way we will evolve and become stronger as a nation. After becoming a liberalist, my views on many topics also changed.

My journey to The United States of America impacted my life permanently, and my new views, skills, and way of life will most definitely help me in the days to come. Without coming to The United States, I doubt that I will ever be able to enjoy such benefits. Now, instead of a conservative introverted individual in China, I am transformed into a caring liberalist person that believes in life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Undergraduate / 'I can vividly envision myself on campus' - Peddie [11]

Why is Peddie the right school for you? (1500 characters)

Peddie has been noted for its rigorous academics, a multitude of extracurricular activities, and their beautiful campus over the years. I believe that Peddie is the right school for me, because it contains the correct amount of academic challenge mixed with an abundance of extracurricular opportunities. With new technology and supporting classmates, my academic level and my social intelligence will inevitably skyrocket.

During my middle school years, I have noticed certain imperfections in my school, like low academic levels, and few extracurricular opportunities. At Peddie, I have been informed of their challenging curriculum and their helpful staff. This will definitely help me to reach my academic and extracurricular goals. I have also been told that Peddie offers one of the most extensive extracurricular clubs and teams. This is something that I crave, but my current school does not offer at the moment.

I know that Peddie is the right school for me, because I can vividly envision myself on campus, blending in with the community, and striving to achieve my goals. I think that Peddie is a well-balanced society, because you can study and be involved in extracurricular activities simultaneously. Peddie provides exactly what I seek in a good school. All of these reasons have led me to conclude that Peddie is the best school for me.

Please fix grammar and anything that is wrong or does not fit, I will return favor ASAP.

Undergraduate / 'on the verge of failing math class' - Peddie School [6]

Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote that "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." Pick an incident from your personal experience and describe what you learned from facing a challenge, adversity or even failure.

As a young child, I have always thought that I was the best at everything, never failing, and succeeding eternally. This thought lingered in my head until I went to middle school. In our old elementary school, everyone was friendly, and the teachers guided us through everything, like if we were little babies, there were no challenge or competition. There was only happiness.

During my first year in middle school, I was on the verge of failing math class. The challenge that middle school poses inevitably pushed me to my limits. After familiarizing with the school, my grades rebounded. After this incident, I no longer realized that I was the best. This brings me to understand something that Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote, "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." Succeeding the initial failure, I learned a lesson, and this valuable lesson was that I should never overestimate myself in moments of comfort, and my limit can only be tested during a time of challenge and controversy.

After this lesson, I learned to be less egotistic, and try to train myself to perform better in challenging situations. I also learned to focus when I am surrounded by blaring music or noisy people, and to think calmly during the SSATs or other difficult or challenging situations. These skills have helped me thus far, and hopefully it will continue to guide me through the future.

Help me review this essay and I will return the favor!

Undergraduate / 'me, John, Abhi, Edwin, and Neil' - Peddie Essay #3 [5]

Peddie values our strong sense of community, where faculty, families and students live, learn and play together. Tell us about your current community - hometown, neighborhood, family, or friends - and how it has shaped you.

I have made numerous friends over the years. Some of us became so close that we formed our own "family". Being a part of the family means more than just playing outside or chatting on Facebook, it means that you have to be there for your family when they are in need, helping them when they are confused, comforting them when they are sad, and pacifying them when they are mad. Once you join our family, you have to follow the golden rule, "Treat others as you would like to be treated".

Our "family" consists of five members, me, John, Abhi, Edwin, and Neil. In school, we talk when we see each other, and during lunch, we will help each other with their homework and assignments. A few months ago, my friend Abhi needed some money to pay his lunch fee, and I lend him $35 without a second thought. That is how friends are supposed to be, and not like some people who are not willing to spend $1 on their friends. We are actually willing to spend money on our friends, because we know that we will get something in return. As long as our family is still intact, we know that we can trust each other for money, protection, and care.

After being with my "family" for almost 31,556,926 seconds now, I learned two valuable life lessons. The first one being the golden rule, and the other lesson is that if you want to find true friends, the first step is having faith in them, and investing that $1, because as the old saying goes, the bigger the risk, the bigger the gain.