Undergraduate / 'an expert in the field of finance' - University of Pennsylvania's Short Answer [5]

Essay Prompt:

Use the space below to name a Penn professor with whom you would like to study or conduct research and explain why.

My Respsonse:

Dr. Fanklin Allen, an astute professor at the The Wharton School, is a very prolific researcher and is very singular in his field as he is an avid researcher. What makes Dr. Allen stand out from the rest of the professors in the field of Finance is his diversified involvement in research in areas such as corporate finance, asset pricing, economics of information and his current projects involving the comparison of different countries financial systems and the in depth analysis of the current financial crises, a main interest of mine. The intellectual capabilities of Dr. Franklin Allen are evident in his books such as "Understanding Financial Crises." Clarendon Lectures in Finance Oxford University Press, 2007 and "Financial Intermediaries and Markets." Econometrica 72, 1023-1061 (2004) and are the product of a well rounded expert in the field of finance and economics. Dr. Allen's many achievements are illustrators of his profoundness as he is recognized both at the scholastic and national level. He has won several teaching awards throughout his teaching career, held several academic positions of deemed importance and has displayed great professional and corporate and public sector leadership capabilities. Dr. Franklin Allen is an outstanding contributor to both The Wharton School and the society at large and it is for these reasons and many others that I would love to study with him and hopefully, one day, conduct research with him in his fields.

Please leave your comments. Do you think that i am accurately answering the question and if you see any corrections that could be made or any errors that need correcting please state so. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!

Undergraduate / The University of Pennsylvania Long Supplement Essay [6]

Prompt:

Describe the academic programs and unique characteristics of the University of Pennsylvania that most interest you. Why do these interests make you a good match for Penn?

My Response:
From professors to sporting facilities, from libraries to dormitories, The University of Pennsylvania maintains very high standards throughout the campus. I love the fact that Penn is an esteemed leader in many fields of academic and non-academic activities and it is for this reason that I believe that I am a good match for Penn.

Working in an environment with attractive, comfortable and adequate facilities just makes any activity more enjoyable and more productive. At the University of Pennsylvania, beauty is among all. From The Blanche P. Levy Park, with luscious, healthy, green grass as gentle on the skin as a mother's touch, to the deep maroon colored woodwork of the Van Pelt-Dietrich Library Center.

Amassed with a collection of over 4.5 million volumes, Penn's fifteen libraries provide an immense amount of information to students. If I am enrolled as an undergraduate at Penn, due to the capacity of Penn's libraries, it would be quite easy to access information to thousands of articles on my research topic. This would be very beneficial to me as it would allow for me to complete any research project with less strain. With several lounges, study carrels, group study and seminar rooms, and over 150 public computers for student use in the Center, Penn's libraries make it much easier for us students to come together to conduct research or any other form of activity in a comfortable yet productive setting. However, whenever I would need to study by myself, The Fisher Fine Arts Library is the place to be as it is renowned for its silence. This would be very suitable for me as I am a person who prefers silence while undergoing autodidacticism.

If given the opportunity to attend Penn, as an international student, it is inevitable that I would be a resident student therefore it is in my greatest interest that the quality of The University of Pennsylvania's dorms are up to par with my specific standards. According to several sources and statistics, it is evident that the dormitories at Penn are of very high standards. I can picture myself lounging in my bed at my Harrison College House dorm, taking off my shoes and just relaxing after a long lecture or exercise session. With lots of activities to do such as playing table tennis, pool or just hanging out with friends, The Harrison College House is really the place for me.

Another aspect that really draws me to Penn is its sporting facilities. Main interests of mine are basketball, chess and table tennis and I feel that at Penn I would be able to enjoy these comfortably. Regular exercise is crucial for a healthy lifestyle and helps persons achieve optimum performance in academics and other aspects of life. With Penn's fully equipped basketball facilities and gym, regular exercise is only a step away.

I believe that I must strive to achieve the best as only the best is good enough. What that entails for me is attending the University of Pennsylvania as it houses one of the best business schools - the place where students achieve, the place with the best programs, the place with the best reputation, in other words, The Wharton School. With consecutive number one rankings from several ranking institutions, it is obvious to all that The Wharton School is the best. Another factor that draws me to The Wharton School is its aspect of quality professors. I love the fact that Penn only hires professors who have many years of experience in their fields, possess surpassingly adequate qualifications and live what they teach. This ensures quality and I would love to experience this as an undergraduate at Penn. The professors at Wharton are also avid researchers. I believe that at Wharton I would be able to assist the professors with their research and also receive guidance with my future research projects in the field of finance so that I can give back to the school and the community at large. Another aspect of The Wharton School that really intrigues me is the quality of the courses they offer for the area in which I wish to specialize, Finance. If given the chance to attend Wharton I would be able to take part in courses in Corporate Finance, Investment Management, Banking and Financial Institutions and International Finance. This would help me attain my dream of becoming a successful professional in the field of Finance as the courses would help me develop the skills necessary to work at a high level of expertise in all areas of finance.

It is my wish that in the future I would be able to, with the help of the professors at Wharton, devise a means by which we could achieve economic stability worldwide. This would be of great benefit to all as it would help decrease unemployment, reduce poverty and lead to the development of new, advanced technology which could help many. I believe that by attending Penn I would be able to work with my professors and the school's sufficient research facilities in hopes of achieving this long term goal.

With so many of my interests in align with that of both The Wharton School and The University of Pennsylvania, I believe that I would be a perfect match for Penn. It is with collaboration that things get done more productively, in a timelier manner and more effectively. If given the opportunity to work with Penn, I would definitely be willing to work with them so that we can both give back to society.

If you see any errors of any kind or if you have any advice for me, please feel free to state. Thank you to all who help.

Please revise, i'd like to know if they're are any corrections that need to be made whether they be grammatical or otherwise. Also tell me if I am answering the prompt correctly and if not, please state how may I improve on that. Do you think I should remove or retain the first paragraph? Is it necessary, wrong etc.? Also umm, just please feel free to give constructive criticism. All help will be considered and some will be acted upon. Please and Thanks You in advance.

Undergraduate / Short Answer Response, two stories. Which one to chose? [18]

Prompt:

Short Answer In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience) (150 words or fewer).

Choice 1:

The ball is passed inbound by David to his brother Nigel. Nigel then carries the ball up to the three point line. Seeing Ansel in the center, Nigel passes the ball to him. Ansel then turns, shoots and scores the winning basket all under thirty seconds! As a member of the basketball team I had learnt that team work is a crucial part of the game of basketball and the game of life. It helped my team win the practice game and it has helped me, with the help of friends, schoolmates and family, solve problems I had encountered in far less time than I would have by myself. I know highly regard it as important and encourage others to practice teamwork because it makes things easier to do and you become more productive when you work as a team.

Choice 2:

I was only 11 years old when I first walked into that building. Despite my age, I was enthused and ready to learn. I was overwhelmed with joy as my dad ordered a thousand shares in NCB for me. After some paper work it was done. My dad had placed an order and just a few days later he got a call from the broker confirming the deal. This was the first time I had ever owned shares in a company

...

Please tell me which short story you prefer and also if there are ANY errors of any kind in my responses and also please give me ideas on areas in which I need improvement if any but please take into consideration the word limit. Please and Thank You!!!

Undergraduate / Personal Essay - "I had won first place in a Karate competition" [2]

Please write an essay (250 words minimum) on a topic of your choice or on one of the options listed below. This personal essay helps us to become acquainted with you as a person and student, apart from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will also demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself.

Prompt:

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

My Response:

Buzz!!! The alarm clock sounds, indicating that it is five o'clock and time for me to get ready. Getting ready was tedious as I was shaking incessantly due to my nervousness. As I head to the car suited in my uniform, I recite motivational speeches reminding me to stay focused and show no fear. On the long car ride I try to calm myself with the mellow tunes of Barry White however this was not enough.

As we pull up to the YMCA auditorium, my hands begin to sweat profusely. My father notices and asks me, "Are you nervous, Ansel?" I quickly nod to indicate my extreme nervousness. In an attempt to comfort me, he holds my hand as we head to the auditorium. As I walk into the auditorium, my heart begins to pound heavily in my chest. I spot my Sensei, who beckons me, and after a quick word with him I feel calmer. After two grueling hours of waiting it is finally time for my first fight. A week ago my dad had entered me in the white and blue belt division for ages 13 and under; it was only on this day that I had realized that I was the only white belt in my division. With the white belt being the lowest belt in our form of Karate and the blue belt succeeding it, the odds are against me. Despite my disadvantage, I am determined to compete against the more experienced.

As I step unto the mat, I look around myself in attempt to gain confidence from the support of my family and friends and thankfully they were all there for me. Walking to the center of the mat, my opponent and I, following tradition, bow to the referees and each other. It is now time for the fight. He lunges at me, but I swiftly avoid his futile attempt and retaliate with a jab to the stomach. "Point!" the referee yells. It feels great. This is my first point ever in an official tournament. The loud cheers of my supporters encourage me even more and I feel as if I am going to actually win this fight. After a few more punches and kicks, the fight is over and I am the acclaimed victor. This is my first official victory in a Karate tournament and it makes me feel even more confident for my remaining fights. Against all odds, it turns out that I win all of my fights against the blue belts. I am elated as I have won first place in a Karate competition as a white belt against blue belts.

That day I learnt a valuable life lesson - despite all odds, anything is possible. After that day it had finally set in that I could do whatever I set my mind to do as long as I stay focused and determined. Whenever I would encourage others to believe in themselves as they can do whatever they set their minds out to do, I would use my experience and the David and Goliath story as I believe that they bring it home to them. I consider that moment a milestone in my life as it taught me very important life lessons that I would carry with me for the rest of my life.

Kindly leave ANY comments you wish, any ways you think I can make my story stronger, what you think of it and also if there are any errors. I am really concerned with my tense and i'd like to know if it's fine and if not, how may I correct this. Please help me improve my essay and thank you very much in advance for all your comments.

Undergraduate / Short Response Essays (Dancehall) [6]

Prompt:

Answer the question that corresponds to the school you selected above. Limit your answer to a half page or roughly 250 words.

College of Arts and Sciences: What work of art, music, science, mathematics, or literature has surprised, unsettled, or challenged you, and in what way?

My Response:

Dancehall is a popular type of Jamaican music which developed in the late 1970s, initially as a sparser and less political and religious variant of reggae. It caught my attention because of the great impact it has had on the Jamaican society.

The work of Vybz Kartel, a renowned Dancehall artiste, unsettles me because I believe that he plays a great role in increasing the crime rate in Jamaica. Every day, the majority of the Jamaican society consumes itself with his songs which speak of crime and violence. With lyrics such as "Blood affi run inna di streets (run), wen it start nuh bodda tell mi bout nuh peace", the violent nature of Vybz Kartel's songs are evident.

According to a group of Psychology professors, research on violent music reveals unequivocal evidence that media violence increases the likelihood of aggressive and violent behavior in both immediate and long-term contexts. Therefore, it can be seen that as Vybz Kartel continues to condition the minds of the public, through the use of his lyrics, to accept and partake in violence, they eventually begin to do so.

Though freedom of speech is encouraged we must still take into consideration the effect our words have on others as with enough repetition we can condition the minds of others to accept or believe a particular situation. It is for this reason that we must stop supporting Vybz Kartel as long as he continues to exalt violence.

I believe that if this situation is not rectified and is allowed to worsen, it will result in a continued increase in violence and an even more corrupt society. It is for this reason that I always discourage people from listening to his dancehall songs.

Undergraduate / 'Finance major' - International Student Essay - The Ohio State University [4]

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!... Please check for any errors of any sort and also you may give advice as to ways in which i can improve the essay. All help is accepted. Please and Thank You in advance.

Prompt:

Select one question of the following essay questions and type your response below. Limit your response to 400 words.

Reflect carefully on your answers and be attentive to spelling and grammar. There are no "right" answers to these questions; the best answer is one in which you clearly articulate what you think and what you believe.

Please describe what experiences, interests, or goals influenced your decision to study in the United States and how pursuing the major you have chosen will contribute in fulfilling your life goals and aspirations.

My Response:

It is often said that The United States of America is the land of opportunity and I agree with this statement. With millions of dollars available for investment in research projects and facilities each year, American universities provide me with adequate opportunities to conduct studies research in the field of Finance. The global financial meltdown experienced by countries worldwide is a main interest of mine. It is my dream to be able to, thorough the use of these facilities, provide solutions to recessions so that the world citizens do not have to suffer. I believe that with the adequate facilities at universities such as the Ohio State University in America, one day I will be able to accomplish this dream. If I were able to pursue a major in Finance at a prestigious university such as the Ohio State University, it would be a big step towards achieving this dream.

According to The Times Higher Education, universities in America such as the Ohio State University ranked among the top universities in the world. It is therefore clear that, by attending an American university, I would be able to accumulate the knowledge I need to guide me to success. For years I had wanted to go to an American university as I have always strived for the best and I believed that this was the best for me.

Attaining a Bachelor of Science in Finance from the Ohio State University would open many doors for me. By acquiring this degree from the Ohio State University, I believe that jobs in the field of Finance would be plentiful. This would greatly contribute in fulfilling my life goals and aspirations as I would be able to help others and my household attain and uphold financial stability. It would provide opportunities for me to contribute to the community by offering my money and services to those in need.

If I attended the Ohio State University I would seize the opportunity to amass a vast amount of knowledge. Armed with a prodigious amount of knowledge in the field of Finance, I would also be able to, as my icon Jim Cramer does, trade on the stock market for a charity of my choice. This would provide me with the opportunity to help others in need and at the same time help me develop the skills I would need to trade successfully on any stock exchange.

*Please remember that i have to take out a lot to be able to add anything to the second essay as the word limit is 400 words and my essay is spot on 400.