Writing Feedback / AIR POLLUTION AND HOW TO REDUCE IT [3]

Today the world has become highly industrialized and modernized, which makes human life much easier and more comfortable. In spite of the advantages, the development of industry does have a lot of disadvantages, especially air pollution. All over the world, air pollution is increasing at an alarming pace and at the same time, it has a serious effect on the earth and human health, so more and more people are concerned about it. As a result, measures are being taken to reduce this kind of pollution.

The first contribution to the atmospheric pollution is natural disaster, causing great damage to human life, including as volcanic eruption and forest fire. Firstly, during a volcanic eruption, lava, ash and various gases are expelled then hung in the air and spread the nearby areas, resulting in many problems such as respiratory diseases or lack of food. For example, the 1815 eruption of mount Tamora made agricultural crops fail and livestock die, leading to one of the worst famine of the 19th century. Furthermore, erupting volcanoes do not only pose many hazards in the immediate vicinity but they also are a thread to the aircraft where ash particles are melted by the high temperature. Secondly, forest fire are happening on a large scale, losing thousand hectares of trees.

Much more important than natural disaster, the major reason of air pollution is because of various human activities. First and foremost, many communities contribute a great proportion to the level of pollution in the air. All over the world, factories of oil industry and chemicals industry discharge industrial waste as well as pollutants into the air. For instance, carbon dioxide is the main factor which brings about the air pollution but unfortunately, the manufacturing process of most products would require the use of this chemical. To make the matter worse, an increasing number of industries and manufacturing units whose activities related to the burning of fuel has been established in recent years as a result of the development of technology. Therefore, there is an unavoidable growth in the amount of this chemical in the atmosphere. In the second place, another reason that effect the air is combustion engine exhaust. In fact, many means of transportation such as cars, motorbikes are partly responsible for air pollution by emitting great amount of fumes and gas. The more vehicles are in use, the more contaminated the air becomes.

Needless to say, air pollution takes many different forms and arises from a variety of sources. As its damage to human is growing, everyone now need to make an effort to reduce the pollution before it is too late.

It is time we paid attention to better the air quality we breath in two aspects. First, in society, in my opinion, there should be some policies to limit the amount of chemicals discharged into the air by the factories. In addition, the authorities should restrict the number of vehicles allowed to run in the city, especially in the rush hours when there is heavy traffic. Moreover, we need to raise our awareness of this problem. Everyone should be conscious of how serious the problem has become because the air is being polluted mostly by human irresponsible activities. All people can help to make the earth cleaner by planting trees, which will add oxygen to the atmosphere and provide shade in the summer. Furthermore, we need to conserve energy as well as recycle things. For instance, we should buy efficient appliances to use like energy saving bulbs that consume less electricity. The less energy we all use, the lower our demand is on our use of power, which means less pollution. Moreover, we should reduce the time we use our bikes or cars as they produce a great deal of harmful chemicals into the air. Instead of these vehicles, it may be better if we can walk or use the public transport, which not only save money but also reduce the production of emission.

In conclusion, although air pollution is resulted largely from the things that benefit people, we can all help in our little way. It may cause a little inconvenience but in the long run, if everyone unite to solve the problem, we can make a significant change to protect the environment as well as human health.

Plz feel free to criticize anything you want. I really need some constructive criticism to improve my witing skills. Thanks in advance.

Writing Feedback / 'education, production and entertainment' - ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF COMPUTERS [7]

Nowadays, technology is rapidly being developed and more machines are invented everyday to assist human, and one of the most influential machines has ever been invented is the computer which is used by millions of people all over the world. The reason is that many people are finding computers more helpful and advantageous in their life. Despite the innumerable benefits computers bring to people, they also have many disadvantages as well.

The most important area that computers affect our life positively is through education. As a matter of fact, computer is a flexible and convenient learning tool because of its large capacity and portability. First of all, students can type on computers effectively, neatly, and fast. For example, there are many programs like spelling and grammar checker installed on a computer;so it will take less time and effort to write, proofread and edit an essay or. In addition, children can be shown charts, diagrams, figures or they can prepare power point presentation to make the lessons more lively. Secondly, today the Internet is global so it is very good if students can take advantage of the it to study. For instance, students can find on the internet the information of various subjects other than their school syllabus.

An additional area that computer has a positive effect on is at home and in the production of factories. Computer help laborers as well as housewives accomplish their jobs rapidly and precisely. Needless to say, computers have provided people a great amount of free time. In factories, now a computer can replace hundreds of workers by doing their boring, repeated jobs with incomparable speed. At home, with computers, people are no longer have to go to the markets to buy things since they can shop and purchase through the internet and do many other things at home. Obviously, compared with physical jobs, computers help us do our jobs much quickly and accurately

Last but not least, computer is a large source of information and entertainment. Naturally, one of its main function is to provide its users with an incredible amount of information that is updated daily. People now can read current news, check weather or make hotel reservation at home, which is, furthermore, totally beneficial especially for people staying in remote, isolated areas. More importantly, it can't be denied that the Internet is connected globally, making it easier for people to communicate to each other everywhere. For instance, a student from VN now are able to chat and talk with his family and friends in the US effortlessly via webcam or social network available on the internet. It is understandable that millions of people use the internet everyday as there is a lot of entertainment for them to enjoy at any time such as TV shows, music, movies,...

Despite all these advantages, computers do have some significant negative effect on our life
Firstly, computer is a threat to the students for their studying as well as their social life. As far as I am concerned, students now depend too much on the computer for everything they do. They don't have to read books or analyze information by their own because everything is available on the internet. With only a click, they can find information for anything they want, resulting in the laziness and more seriously, many unpredictable diseases. For instance, students who spend too much time sitting in front of the computer screen may suffer form eye strain and considerable pressure. In addition, today more and more students have become addicted to the computer. They waste too much time playing games or chatting over the it. To make the matter worse, there are many unsuitable programs for students on the internet that can affect their personality to a great extent. Secondly, since the invention of computers, employment has become a great problem all over the world. Thanks to its unequalled speed, a computer now has the ability to do a great number of boring jobs in a short time, making thousands of workers become redundant in the factories.

To sum up, computer certainly has many benefit in modern world particularly in education, production and entertainment but it does have some disadvantages as well. From my point of view, everyone should continue to take advantage of the computer because it allows us to pursue our interests and goals. However, at the same time, we should use it in an intelligent way to keep fit and to make our life more meaningful

I am going to hand it in to my teacher so plz take a look at this essay and give me any opinion you have. Thanks!

Writing Feedback / More and more young people are turning to drugs. reasons and solutions [8]

More and more young people are turning to drugs. Why is this so and what can be done about the problem?

Do not read word or sentences inside the (...). that is corrected version for..

Drug (addition ) addiction has become a serious problem(s) in our society. More and more young people are turning to drugs at an alarming pace. Although mis(u)sing drugs obviously have a negative effect on (their ) one's life, this can be caused by (a lot of ) collective elements from (various) different sources. (As a result, strategies are being created to reduce the drug abuse in society.)

In the first place, "Curiosity" is the utmost reason of increasing misuse of drugs among teenagers.(can be put down to curiosity. )In fact, by their very nature,(people,particularly the) young people have curiosity ( a tendency to have an interest )in achieving or discovering something new,( stimulating and) or unknown to them. However, (only with) such one experimental try, (they can become) can transform them into habitual (addicted to) drugs user. Ultimately this might become daily routine and the more they consume, the( greater )demand and search for more and stronger one continues.(they have for them.) In addition, the young can be coaxed by other people arouind or even by their own friends. As they are young and impressionable, they are vulnerable to immitate others. (become targets and can easily to be taken in.) To make the matter worse, they are probably not fully aware of the consequences as well as the damages (of using) the drugs might bring, particularly at such an early age.

(Moreover, )in most cases, youngsters (start) turn(ing )to drugs when they are under psychological disturbances (pressure or upset about something). They may use drugs as an temporary escape (of) from (depression) feelings of sad ,(and) lonely, or unhappy (these people). For example, the young may unable to cope with growing family problems nowadays ;hence, they consider taking drugs as a solution to their issues. At first, they may find it helpful to ease the feeling of pessimism. Howevere, sooner or later, they steadily incease the dose and cosume more and more everyday until drugs become an indispensable part in their life.

Thus,as drug addiction has become a threat to the society, leading to( maney )other social problems (and crimes) such as thefts, suicide and other crimes (robberies, stealing. urgent action is necessary to be taken)Both individual(ly ) and social(ly) action is necessary in formulating (. As a result, ) strategies (are being created) to reduce the drug abuse( in society).

Most importantly, the (young) teenagers ( try not use same words many times) need to take responsibility of their life and keep away from drugs. As a matter of fact, they can prepare themselves by understanding (the knowledge of drug including the ) symtoms, consequences and the ways to avoid drug- misuse. Additionally, youngsters can take part in various social activities such as playing, volunteering, community gardening etc. to distant themselves from drugs ( communicate with other people and make friends, ) leading towards an optimistic and useful community life. If there are in trouble, they may talk to someone who is able to understand and help them out of the problems.

Secondly, family plays an important role in resolving the problem. Young(e)sters need support from parents as well as relatives since these people tend to have a strong influence on them. For example, parents should pay more attention to their children, making sure they( hang out ) are in touch with right types of people. Parents also should cultivate good habits in order to be a role model of their kids. Similarly, it is helpful that parents encourage the young to participate in social clubs to improve their communicative skills and make friends.

Last ;but not least, solutions can be found by building a friendly and hospitable environment at home, school and in society for the young. (Youngsters should be well educated when they are still at school by applying more social programs as well as more ) Extracurricular activities( to discuss about the aftermaths of drug use), sharing bitter experience of past drug-addicts and their current improved lifestyle, educating about the effects all contribute . (Everyone should make an attempt to eliminate illegal ) drug(s) abuse and create a healthy surrounding ( for young people).

In conclusion, drug use is on the rise ( and an increasing number of people have become additicted to drugs). Although it is impossible eliminate it in one day, (we can make ) Continued (an) attempt to control and reduce it gradually plays a massive positive role both in family and community. As far as I am concerned, the young ( had ) should be able to share their feelings with parents, teachers or others (better live an open life) so that the community can help in case of need.

plz help me with this assignment! any advice is appreciated !

Writing Feedback / Essay on iImportance of electricity in people's daily routine [4]

Can you help me with this essay? any advice is appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Electricity is important to life. A vast number of machines which are invented nowadays cannot be operated without it. As a matter of fact, electricity is used mostly in four main areas: industry, public health, media and transportation.

First of all, electricity plays an integral part in industry. Thanks to the invention of electricity, a lot of equipment has been invented including computers, subways, bulbs,etc ... .Electricity is the crucial factor in operating most devices. As a matter of fact, we now lighten our lives with electricity, which is unexpensive and friendly-environment. Moreover, electricity has given birth to assembly line, which means everything is produced by machines precisely and constantly, saving us a great amount of time and money. Apparently, electricity is used by all walks of life everyday in all aspects. For example, in summer, air conditions are used to provide us with cool air and we turn on the heating system to keep the room warm in winter.

In the second place, electricity is essential in daily transportation. Only with the advent of electricity can people create the traffic light. This is a great contribution to the safety of people on the street. Additionally, because steam engines are now replaced with electric engines, global warming and greenhouse effect are reduced considerably. Obviously, not only the speed is increased but the journey is smoke free, so less pollution are added into the atmostphere, helping to protect the environment.

Another area in our life on which electricity has a great influence is media both in communication and entertainment. Take telegraphs and telephones for examples, both of them are commonplace today and they need electricity to operate. With these devices, we can talk to our friends and family at a great distance or wee can even fax to every corner of the world within no time. Similarly, televisions enable everyone to update information around the world and see what is happening at the other side of the globe simultaneously. Needless to say, without these speedy means of communications, many business would come to a halt. More significantly, electricity makes entertainment possible, creating a much more interesting and fascinating world. It can't be denied that books, which are now available everywhere are not only knowledgeable but they are also entertaining. Since the invention of electricity, the number of books and periodicals released has been noticeably increasing. Therefore, the utility of electricity has not only brightened our homes but also our heads.

Finally, elecitricy is helpful in health services and treatment. Due to electricity, medical technology are improved. In hospitals, surgeons are able to carry operation in a more effective and efficient way. Many dangerous diseases which used to be fatal in the past cannot kill people now. For instance, X-ray machines enables doctors to take photographs of internal parts of the body so that the surgery and operation are much safer and more accurate. Briefly speaking, many men would probably meet their death without it.

In a nutshell, the importance of electricity in our daily routine is undeniable.However, the demand for it is increasing because more and more people have access to it. As a result, everyone should make an attempt to reduce the consumption of electricity in family as well as in office by using it more reasonably.

Writing Feedback / THE IMPORTANCE OF EDUCATION (beneficial for society on the whole) [4]

Education is essential for everyone. It is the level of education that helps people earn respect and recognition. In my opinion, it is indispensable part of life both personally and socially. However, the unequal standard of education is still a major problem that needs to be solved.

The importance of education is undeniable for every single person. It goes without saying that education has a positve effect on human life. All people need to study. Only with the advent of education can people gain knowledge and enlarge their view over the world. For example, learning by watching TV or reading books gives people a huge amount of information about anything they are interested in such as mathematics, current news, exchange rates, other countries' cultures and so on. Apparently, people may become more useful and civilzed if better educated. In areas where residents are not able to receive an appropriate education, life cannot be as thriving and properous as locations where there is a high standard for education.

Secondly, education plays such a rudimentary role on our society that we cannot even imagine a life without it. It is a determined element for the civilization of human society. Not only does It helps us develop healthy surroundings but it also generates an advance community. As a matter of fact, everything we create today is based on the knowledge that we obtain throughout our life by way of education. This assists scientists in inventing equipment and devices, resulting in a high technology nowadays. The more developed life becomes, the more necessary education is for everyone.

Although education has a significant influence on life, the average education is not the same in different areas. As a result, strategies are being made to resolve the problems. Without education, life would be disastous and detrimental. Consequently, to this day, we are trying or best to make education global and accessible for everyone particularly the poor and the disabled. There are still some places where the inhabitants are almost completely uneducated, causing a serious lack of knowledge. Addtionally, every child should should be given equal opportunities to learn and study. Because the development of a country depends vastly on the standard of education, it must do everything in its power to improve it. Although the educational systems of different countries are not similar but they have to share a common goal which is to provide its citizens a suitable and proper learning.

In conclusion, edcation is absolutely beneficial for society on the whole. It is a life-long process to each person that need to be reinforced throughout life. However, we need education system that may eradicate illiteracy and may provide the common man an access not only to basic education but also to higher and technical education.

any advice is appreciated. Thanks in advance !

Writing Feedback / LIFE IN A BIG CITY (disadvantages) [6]

Living in big city is something that many young people dream about. Modern cities such as New York, London, Mexico,etc are optimal place for the youngster who are willing to encounter some interesting and challenging tasks. However, life in an advance society is not easy as some people expect. In reality, it has some certain disadvantages, including the people, transportation and accomodation.

One problems that urban residents encounter daily is the unreliable transportation. Because thounsands of people rely on it to reach their offices everyday, it can have an significant effect on their life. In big cities, public transportation usually do not come on time. For instance, buses which are supposed to arrive at 7.00 A.M may not show up until 8.00 A.M or even later. Sometimes, buses come in bunch, one after another. The result to this insufficient quality is the passengers missing appointments or being late at work. Personally, daily public transportation has to be safe and specific. Commuters and students who use this means of tranport everyday , in particular, are in need of a dependable vehicle. Take pupils as an example, the tardy buses are likely to result in their lateness and unpleasant performance at schools. Additionally, there is always traffic congestion during rush hours when the streets are too crowded with an incredible number of people. Therefore, in order to get to their destination on time, many people have to leave their homes earlier and allow for waiting time at buses or streetcar stops. As a result, it is understandable that an increasing number of people are turning to private automobiles.

Another disadvantage exists in a big citiy is the indifferent attitude of its inhabitants. Metropolitan citizens seem not be as friendly and hospitable as people in the country. Since the majority of people always struggle to deal with personal problems, it is out of question to get to know their neighbors or catch up on others' news. They are so engaged in their own problems that they hardly pay much attention to anyone else. Even the communication among the inhabitants in a neighborhood is litmited. They may even barely talk to each other unless it is really necessary. In addition, promotion in the city is more difficult than anywhere in the world. In other words, most people have difficulty in finding a suitable job with an acceptable salary. Living in a big city means you will settle in a competitive world where the demand is great but the supply is restrictive. Thus people have to try their best to achieve their goals.

Moreover, accomodation is cities is undeniably costly. Due to the lack in housing, houses and apartment are often so expensive that the poor can hardly afford to buy them. The more centrality of a location , the higher its rent is. To make the matter worse, the immigrants from rural areas moving to cities are on the increse, putting the standard of life on pressure.

In conclusion, life in a big city is becoming more problematic today. While it may be an ideal destination for ambitious youngsters who are willing to experience challenges as well as difficulty. On the other hand, a big city may not be suitable for the elder and entired people. The life in a big city has many disadvantages that you have to get used to and overcome if you want to become a urban citizen.

any feedback is appreciated. Thanks in advance!

Writing Feedback / 'Better future but lost family?' - advantages and disadvantages of studying aboard [4]

Q: Some people think that the best way to study English is in an English speaking country (U.S, USA, Canada, Australia, New Zeland,...).
What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people think that the best way to study Engilsh is in an English speaking conntry. In reality, more and more students now have an intention of going abroad to study especially in developed countries country such as U.S, USA or Australia. Obviously, this can be very advantageous and beneficial but studying abroad does have some disadvantages as well.

To begin with, in my opinion, it is an optimal way to learn English in the country where English is spoken officially. This can help students improve their English remarkably particulary listening and speaking skills in a relative short time because when pupils live in a foreign country, they will have chances to communicate in English with people all the time at school as well as at home. In the same way, they will able to speak the language more confidently and fluently. Moreover, studying abroad enables students to speak in a proper cultural context, which is impossible in a class setting.

Another pro that studying abroad provides students is an expansive knowledge of the world. Not only their social development is improved but they may also become more mature and dependable. By studying abroad, pupils have the ability to enlarge their knowledge of various customs, traditions and culture and consequently can take a balanced view of their current society. For instance, weekend excursions to museums and cultural sites allows students to meet people form different backgrounds of all the countries. These first-hand experiences are really helpful to learn how to use the language correctly and politely to improve the communication skills in diverse situations, helping them lead a flexible life. More importantly, students are able to expand their worldview and reduce bias and discrimination towards foreign people.

Finally, studying abroad can be students to build up a strong and reliable character. Students are able to learn to be independent of parents and to live by their own. Moreover, they have chances to become self-motivated, autonomous and willing to embrace challenges. Consequently, they can cope with any situations and problems they encounter.

However, while studying abroad is useful, it does have some disadvantages including homesickness and unexpected problems in students' studying. Firstly, studying abroad means students have to leave their family, relatives and friends behind to come and live in a completely strange country. It is understandable if they feel homesick or anxious. Due to the infamiliar traditions, pupils probably find it difficult to make friends or get used to the change in conditions and unlike surroundings. Additionally, unexpected problems may arise such as potential language barriers and discrimination. Pupils do not know what to expect so it is impossible for them to prepare everything in advance. Although they may be able to communicate to other people on a holiday, for example, it is an entirely different situation when they talk to their teachers and friends daily in a foreign language.

In conclusion, it is both advantageous and disadvantageous to study abroad. For some people, this can be an important step determining their future but some find it a lot easier to live with their family in their own country. In general, every should weigh up the pros and cons before they decide the right way for their life in the future.

Thanks in advance !

Writing Feedback / It is said that the human beings are becoming slaves of modern technology [2]

Can you give me some feedback for this essay. I appreciate all the advice

It is said that the human beings are becoming slaves of modern technology. Give your opinion why?

Technological advancement is becoming more and more sophisticated. It is accessible to almost everyone, making it an significant part of modern society. Human beings depend on machines in everything they do. However, because of these situations, there are some ideas that human beings are becoming slaves of modern technology. But I do not agree with these opinions.

To begin with, technology is the principal driving force in the extensive range of both industry and agriculture, which makes an imprint on human life. It has become an indispensable ingredient for the civilization of human beings. For example, in agriculture, more products are now made from the same amount of raw materials utilizing the new advanced techniques. When it comes to industry, the success of technology is even more profitable. A typical example is the computer which is used in most manufacturing nowadays as a magical device including word progressing, cutting, assembling clothes, etc. For example, computerization has made it far easier for the banks to keep track of individual banking transaction, helping to solve the potential and financial problems more effectively and efficiently.

On the other hand, as a result of the technological necessity, human beings are now relying on technology too much. Obviously, people are always in search of leading a convenient and easy life. Thus they make an effort to improve the technology which allows them to have more leisure time to enjoy their life. To be more specific, the majority of tenuous tasks are now completed by machines in an accurate and swift way. For instance, thanks to the invention of electricity, many products are now produced totally by the control of only one computer, saving a great deal of human effort. A lot of work that used to be done by human activities in the past is now conducted by equipment and machines completely. A whole staff in many factories have been replaced with a computer. Unfortunately, this convenience may result in laziness and dependence. The more sophisticated technology is, the worse this situation becomes. In other words, human takes such an overwhelming advantage of technology that they are considered to be the slaves of it.

In contrast, it is not fair if saying technology is controlling human beings. Firstly, without human, technology would never exist. It is people that come up with the idea of developing technology and determine whether it will thrive or not. More importantly, machines cannot think, they can only follow human instruction as well as conduct what has been previously installed in their brain. Another reason is that there are still many tasks that require human intelligence and creativity. We hold the key for its innovation, evolution to resolve the impending problems associated with the abuse of technology.

To conclude, it can't be denied that modern technology is now part and parcel of one's life. The point is that everyone needs to make sure that human are aware of the bad and good impact which technological advancement has on life. However, we should make a full use of it to achieve our goals and dreams rather than to become dependent on it.