Undergraduate / Women in maroon BU scrubs; Boston University/ Why BU is a good fit? [3]

In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission?

As a child, my father spoke often of his dream to save lives and become a surgeon. It was difficult for him as a Chinese immigrant to pass the examinations and to work day and night as the central figure of a newly made family, but with hard work over time, there finally came a day when he came home exhausted but proud, in a pair of scrubs. Over the years, scrubs became a symbol of persistency and achievement to me and I knew that if I worked hard and set my mind to it, I could succeed too. So it wasn't surprising when, after we moved to Boston a few years ago, I had sat at the Reservoir train station one day and noticed a few young women all wearing maroon BU scrubs, then decided in that moment that I wanted to attend Boston University as a step to fulfilling my dreams. Now, nearly four years later, I see the value of an education at BU even more clearly. From Anna Howard Shaw to Marcia Angell, the successful graduates of BU highlight the great history of its biology programs. Recent breakthroughs such as advances in Alzheimer's research show how innovative its programs are now. Boston University's has an exceptional past and present, and I want to be part of its future. I hope that the programs at BU will embrace my passion in medicine and biology, and will help me fulfill my dream of making a difference in others' lives.

Please give me feedback on what you think I can change or fix, and do not be afraid to be blunt!

Undergraduate / Alleviating the pain of others; Boston College/ Future endeavors? [4]

St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Society of Jesus, encouraged his followers to live their lives in the service of others. How do you plan to serve others in your future endeavors? (400 words or less)

I have always been interested in understanding and alleviating the pain that others are in. Over the years, this had led me to pursue internships in oncology laboratories, shadow dermatologists, and observe surgeries. For me, the journey I have taken so far in exploring the width and depth of the medical field is out of my interest to heal not the world, but individuals. To serve the people of the world is a huge task that comes to be completed one person at a time. When I interact with patients and their families, I feel a sense of belonging with them. Their determination and the pure pain that they must feel at times is something I can understand. In times of need, everyone needs a person to help guide him/her, and I want to be that physician who will help and ask their patients to persevere and fight through; to never give up.

There are numerous countries today that not only desperately need physicians, but want medical help from the United States. This is a problem that will continue to require attention. I want to be able to give immediate care and eventually, teach the people of those countries to be able to help themselves; to remain self sufficient.

However, this is a task that I cannot complete on my own. From Ryan Dunkelberg to Gilbert Connelly, the successful graduates of BU highlight the great history of its biology programs. Recent breakthroughs such as new discoveries of HIV activity markers and new research on malaria and toxoplasmosis show how innovative its programs are now. Boston College has an exceptional past and present, and I want to be part of its future. I hope that the programs at Boston College will embrace my passion in medicine and biology, and will help me fulfill my dream of making a difference in the lives of others.

My essay is only around 300 words so I definitely have room to add things. Please give me feedback on what you think I can change or fix, and do not be afraid to be blunt!

Undergraduate / Nothing comes easy ; Johns Hopkins/ Something about Me [9]

Tell us something about yourself or your interests that we wouldn't learn by looking at the rest of your application materials. (250 words or less)

It was Christmas time once again, and I sat on the steps of my aunt's house trying to make, of all things, a rubber band ball like those I had seen in toy stores. As a seven year old, making the core of the ball certainly wasn't easy; all I ended up with were red fingers and a river of tears. But when my father noticed my frustration and came over to comfort me, I couldn't help but be angry with him. Why couldn't he just make it for me, or buy me one? That's what parents are for! Yet he sat with me until my tears had subsided and then with patience and care, showed me how to loop the bands just so, and made me do it by myself again and again until I had that perfect ball. When I look back, I realize that what I learned that day as a child was a principle that my parents pushed me to incorporate into my character, and a principle that I have since then truly upheld as one of my personal rules. Nothing comes easy and quickly, but with persistence and hard work over time, nothing is really impossible.

One of my concerns so far is that I do not connect the characteristic, persistence, enough to who I am currently and how that relates to my applying to Johns. Please give me feedback on what you think I can change or fix, and do not be afraid to be blunt!

Undergraduate / Change, America! Change! Together!; Chicago Essay: Where's Waldo? [4]

Essay Option 6: So where is Waldo, really? (Write a one- or two-page response)

Presidency: A Fibonacci Sonnet.

Blue? Red? He paused. Better wear blue. The public would be comforted. Waldo leaned against the curtain behind the stage. Fire had consumed the city, releasing a red, eerie glow and unrestrained chaos. Buildings crashed as the smoke seemed to smile a sly grin and made the skyline appear to waver in the background. The image of the planes circling the towers like vultures swooping down to kill was etched into his mind, though he hadn't seen it in person-- he hadn't been allowed anywhere near the attack. He had, however, been allowed to make an entrance and climb slowly, carefully up the stairs of the White House with reporters flooding around him all screaming Sir, Mr. President sir, President Waldo, can you answer my question here, how did this attack happ- sir wait sir, will they attack again, excuse me, please sir! I don't know, Waldo had wanted to scream, I don't know when or where or how or why Al Qaeda has attacked us, I don't know why this had to happen during my presidency, I don't know how to comfort a mass of three million people when I can't even comfort or protect my own family, but I'm president so I have to know- and all that I do know is that in order for this to end, it is not they who we have to change, but ourselves. He could not deny that it would be difficult in the years ahead to lead his country down this painfully long road-- it was going to be harder than when Woof the dog ran off and caused a ruckus at the beach, harder than when his evil twin Odlaw spread rumors that Waldo and Wanda were sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g; it was even going to be harder than staring at two sets of terribly stained teeth in gaping mouths that screamed at Waldo when he told his British parents that he had changed his name from Wally, but Waldo took comfort in knowing that after all these years of searching for a president like him, the public was fully confident that he would restore America's pride, nationalism, diversity, and morale to its peak-what could he say, he was a natural Uncle Sam. Waldo nodded a thanks to the assistant as he was handed a bottle of water and thought about how he was going to tell his people that even though America was not going to be able to control the actions of other countries, it could take this opportunity to show the world that it was not going to take the bait and let this destructive bombing tear the country apart-instead, its citizens would forge bonds with one another that would live to overcome race, age, death, and time. Waldo was going to help people learn to comfort one another and understand that not every Muslim believed in the tactics that their peers used, and let the effect of this kind of bonding grow as quickly as numbers grew in Fibonacci's sequence until the world could see the love this destruction had turned into. Placing the half empty bottle at a table by his side, Waldo pulled gently at his suit, smoothed out the wrinkles with trembling hands, then guided his spotted, ice blue tie over his head, looped one end over the other, and tugged the point through. The commercial ended as the curtains rose, and Waldo looked at the sea of people while he walked to the podium. He saw copies of his autobiography, Where's Waldo: The Ultimate Fun Book . He saw "WALDO 2004!" signs. Waldo stood silently and waited. Change, America. Change. Together.

As the title indicates, I used a Fibonacci Sonnet in this essay. Please give me feedback on what you think I can change or fix, and do not be afraid to be blunt!

Undergraduate / Alleviating the pain in others; Johns Hopkins: Why did you pick this major? [6]

Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? (If any past courses or academic experiences influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)

I selected biology as my major.

As children, we understand that once you put a band aid over a wound, it seems to mysteriously feel instantly better regardless of whether or not the pain has actually gone away. I have always been interested in understanding and alleviating the pain that others are in, and actually healing the wound beneath the bandage. Over the years, this had led me to pursue internships in oncology laboratories, shadow dermatologists, and observe surgeries. For me, the journey I have taken so far in exploring the width and depth of the medical field is out of my interest to heal not the world, but individuals. In times of need, everyone needs a person to help guide him/her, and in time, I hope to be that physician who will help and ask their patients to persevere, fight through, and never give up.

However, this is a task that I cannot complete on my own. From Rachel Carson to Andrew Fire, the successful graduates of Johns Hopkins highlight the great history of its biology programs. Recent breakthroughs such as advances in leukemia treatment and research on stroke complications show how innovative its programs are now. Johns Hopkins has an exceptional past and present, and I want to be part of its future. I hope that the biology programs at Johns Hopkins will embrace my passion in medicine and biology, and will help me fulfill my dream of making a difference in the lives of others.

Please give me feedback on what you think I can change or fix, and do not be afraid to be blunt!

Undergraduate / Shadowed a young Dermatologist; Boston University Accelerated Programs [2]

The Accelerated Programs Admission Committee is interested in learning more about you. Please write an essay of no more than 750 words on why you wish to enter the health professions, including what experiences have led you to this decision and what you hope to gain from your chosen profession. Please make sure your essay is completely distinct from the one you submitted on the Common Application.

She was my age, sitting with tears in her eyes, struggling to breathe as the dermatologist injected fluid into five different parts of each hand. It hurt me to see her in pain like that, yet I didn't know if it was my place to try and calm her down. Finally, I spoke up.

Out of curiosity, I had shadowed a dermatologist in ninth grade. Later in that appointment, the girl's mother asked me where I went to medical school, and complimented me for calming down her daughter. We both laughed when she realized that I was nowhere near medical school, but it made me excited knowing that this family valued the initiative I took in comforting the girl. I felt empowered by this feeling of helping others, but found myself wanting to also be able to treat their sickness, and so began looking at the career of being a physician scientist.

With this in mind, I spent the summer of sophomore year working in an oncology lab at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center and returned to the bench at Brigham and Women's Hospital junior year to explore the more hypothetical side of biology and try to understand the work 'behind the scenes'. It was an amazing experience being on the "cutting edge" of science, and I was intrigued to find that the lifelessness of collecting data from electrophoresis gels and analyzing the DNA of mice may someday be the basis of life changing vaccines for diseases. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that with successful research, entire populations can be treated.

I also spent two weeks in the Zhongshan Hospital of Shanghai this summer studying the practical application of biology through medicine. After being in operating rooms with surgeons and watching them help patients stitch by stitch, I was overwhelmed by how fine the art of surgery is, and how truly delicate life can be. It was amazing to see how surely a surgeon could remove so much of a patient and still make them better in the end.

As children, we understand that once you put a band aid over a wound, it seems to mysteriously feel better instantly regardless of whether or not the pain has actually gone away. I have always been interested in understanding and alleviating the pain that others feel; in becoming a physician and healing the wound beneath the bandage.

Everywhere I go, I see the strength in the belief that doctors are the people who will walk with you through better and worse and will believe in you when no one else will. For me, the journey I have taken so far in exploring the width and depth of the medical field is out of my hope to become that physician who will help and ask their patients to persevere, fight through, and never give up.

Please give me feedback on what you think I can change or fix, and do not be afraid to be blunt!