Writing Feedback / IELTS: Decreasing Levels of Fresh Water [7]

Topic: Decreasing levels of fresh water sources are becoming a global issue. What are the reasons? What can be done by governments to prevent it?

There has been an alarming reduction in the amount of waterground tables in the last decade. This depletion in water level of aquifers has become a worldwide issue. There are various reasons behind this and also several measures could be taken to tackle this problem.

The fist cause of water sources drawdown is inappropriate water consumption pattern in the countries across the world. In Iran, for instance, the water consumption per capita is six times more than the global average, which has resulted in largely depleting of water tables. Water tables which simply function as the Earth natural water tanks play a very pivotal role in life of human beings and the nature itself. The lower the elevation of the water table would be, the more drought and ecological disasters and threats could occur. This problem can be solved if the social awareness arises by the governments thereby encouraging individuals to reduce the misuse of water thereby imposing strict rules as prohibitions. This is a burden on individuals to consume water in an efficient way.

The second cause of aquifers' water loss is lack of efficient drainage systems in order to facilitate the infiltration of surface water and precipitations into the ground. In the absence of such management and supervision, the water would definitely waste and its destination would be directed to wrong places which would be out of control. As a result, the yield of precipitation would reduced in an alarming rate. This issue can be addressed by the government investment in the field of enhancing agricultural processes, as well as controlling surface water direction by constructing dams, water barriers, canals and drains which will result in increasing water elevation in aquifers.

To conclude, it is clear that the main causes of reducing levels of water tables are inappropriate water consumption pattern in societies and lack of efficient systems for directing water provided by precipitations. However, this incompetent trend could be prevented and resolved by measures taken by the governments and with consciously contribution of individuals.

I would be grateful if I could have your comments about my essay

Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay: The government should allocate more funds to public services instead of arts [3]

Topic:The government should allocate more funds to public services instead of wasting money on arts such as music, painting and so on. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion

The issue of governmental financing provision to aesthetic features in the society has sparked a heated debate. While some argue that the budget allocation to the arts is waste of national resources and the money should instead be spent on public services, I contend that this investment in field of the arts would be in the best interest of a society.

First of all, there is no doubt that governments are liable for providing societies with appropriate public services and adequate facilities in an efficient way. Admittedly, no one should suffer from any sort of deficiency in field of health, education, transportation and communication. However, these could only help individuals with their physical requirements. There is also a burden on the government to highly concern about the people mental health initiatives which would be unconsciously or sensibly provided by the arts.

On top of this, the arts play a pivotal role in all-round development of a society. No developed country could be named that music, painting, literature and other fields of arts are out of its government consideration. Enriching people's life and enlightening their thoughts, the arts basically affect the enhancement of societies in many positive ways.

Furthermore, investing in art could bring employment opportunities and could end in return of capital occasionally. The investment could be paid beck through the values of the created works of art which as a matter of fact should be considered as national possessions.

To sum up, not only could investing in art be considered as wasting money at any kind, but also it would enriches the culture of the society and governments and individuals would benefit from it in multiple ways.

I would be grateful if I could have your feedback.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: More People Living by Themselves [6]

Nowadays more people are living by themselves. What are the reasons for this? Will this have a negative or a positive impact on the society?

These days, there has been a prolific increase in the number of people in the society who prefer to live a lonely life. There are several reasons behind this which, in my opinion, has led to adverse effects on the day-to-day social interactions and mental health of the individuals.

The first cause of making this choice by some people would be lack of courage and responsibility. The people with sad experiences of previous relationships may rather not be faced by another emotional dilemma in their life, and then they are more likely to live by their own, making themselves separate from accepting responsibility and challenges of managing a family for instance. The other reason could be the young's tendency of getting independent from their parents and live their lives without their supervision and district rules. This could, probably, lead them to more happiness as they would be able to throw parties and do whatever they wanted to. On top of this, the advances in modern life facilities and economic development have brought the possibility of living alone for almost everyone at present. It would be more unlikely decades before if each individual wanted to be financially able to afford a living separately and without the family supports.

The effect of this option made by individuals could be very serious. Firstly, it could deteriorate the ability of socializing among the member of society. As a result of decline in social skills the community spirit will be damaged which is a very serious social damage. Furthermore, it could cause various mental problems and affect society members' health negatively. Currently, we often hear the news and reports that shows the increasing figures of mental disorders in the society. The enormous amounts of patients suffering from illnesses such as depression and social anxiety disorder simply means that this issue should be considered significantly.

To conclude, it is evident that there are several causes of this common choice among a group of individuals in today's societies. However, this trend could affect the society in variety of negative ways and society must ensure that steps are taken to prevent situation from deteriorating further.

***I really appreciate your feedback. I am going to take IELTS exam very soon and your comments would be a great help to me!
awaiting to receive your points on grammar, punctuation, coherence and cohesion, task achievement, lexical resource, Anything!
Thank you in advance!

Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay: People have always been seeking for their basic needs - Shopping Habits [3]

People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors. Do you agree or disagree?

People have always been seeking for their basic needs, but nowadays purchasing certain products has become as a regular behavior of the individuals in many societies. Some argue that people's shopping habits is mostly influenced by under which age group they are classified. However, I contend that there are far more relevant factors that should be taken into account accordingly.

To begin with, it is true that same-aged people have many interests as well as numbers of similar needs in common. This would lead them to have similar behavior in choosing ways of buying the goods. The little- aged children, for instance, are always looking for toys and entertaining objects, since quantity and variety is their shopping priority; whereas for middle ages the quality and after sales services of a product would be highlighted as the most significance for their choice. Therefore, it is possible to classify costumers based on their age in order to examine their shopping habits, yet whether it is the only major factor in this area would be certainly questionable.

The factors which could affect people's regulars in shopping could be determined based on their social strata, their level of education and their local culture. The advantaged group in the society has different shopping habits in comparison to disadvantaged one regardless of their age factor. The widening gap between rich and poor is a significant determinant in their shopping habits. Furthermore, the intellectual people choose their needs based on academic factors and also their concerns about price, quality and delivery condition, whereas ordinary ones just go shopping for enjoy and excitement.

To conclude, it is in the realms of possibility to partly categorize people's shopping habits based on their age group. However, there are more aspects as yardstick for having a scientific and practical approach to examine people's regular ways of meeting their needs in a society.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay: The effects of people getting married and having children in their thirties [3]

Nowadays people are getting married and having children in their thirties. Does it have a positive or a negative impact on the society? Give your opinion and examples.

The rate of late marriage in modern societies has risen alarmingly during the last decades. This apprehensive trend has brought multiple negative effects including lack of coordination in family lives, generation gap, and various health problems that should be addressed accordingly.

The first consequence of late marriage is lack of coordination between couples. Having long-established habits and being immutable, the couples find it daunting to adapt themselves to new lifestyle. For example, consider how it would be difficult for a person in his 40s to change a habit compared to a younger on in 20s. This resistance to change which incurs during years would lead families to constant arguments and might end in divorce occasionally.

Furthermore, in terms of family relationship, there would be a wider generation gap in late married families. Today's children are reluctant to communicate with old-fashioned and traditional parents who are believed to be incapable of understanding modern life issues and concerns. No only would this incurring distance between children and parents affect the young's emotions adversely, but also would weaken family ties in a dramatic way.

Last but not least, as far as family health is concerned, there would be many risks involved in late marriage. Down syndrome, for example, is one of the consequences of pregnancy in later stage of life. In addition, the risk of becoming sterile would highly rise if the first birth has delayed for a long time.

To sum up, it is evident that there are many negative effects in late marriage and, therefore, steps must be taken to prevent the situation deteriorating further.

Writing Feedback / The effects of cheaper flights - IELTS Essay [7]

In some countries flights have become much cheaper compared to others transportation. Some people think that this is a good development while others are concerned with situation? Discuss both views and your opinion?

Recently, there have been immense advances in airline industry in number of countries in a way that flight fees have become remarkably competitive. While some argue that this is a positive trend, others assert that the negatives of this enhancement must be highly considered.

To begin with, there has been considerable decrease in the offered freight charges by the airways on a day-to-day basis that has resulted in the fact that passengers have found air travel much more affordable and far more convenient than other means of transport. Not only would this make long-haul journeys cheaper for passengers, but could also be largely a saving of time. Other than that, the economy would benefit more, thereby increasing the efficiency of business trips. A businessman, for example, would be able to have a more compact itinerary in a certain period of time with the same costs, thus could do more activities and become more effective in his profession.

However, there are negative effects that should be addressed accordingly. Firstly, the lower the fees of air freights, the more demand it would be for air flights. Therefore, the number of flights would consequently increases. This can lead to traffic congestion, thereby affecting the efficiency of the airports in negative ways. The passengers would have to wait more and more at the airports owing to the fact that there would not be adequate capability to service the airlines properly. Moreover, this development would result in air pollution as well as other environmental problems like unwanted noises.

To sum up, it is evident that the reduction in air freight charges could have many benefits to people. However, I believe that there would be multiple negative consequences and it is on governments and relative industries to take steps to prevent the adverse effect of such developments.

*I would be grateful if receive your adorable comments and feedback.

Writing Feedback / Imposing stricter punishment is likely to lead reducing the number of crimes [NEW]

Some people think the best way of reducing crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, think there are other better ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Crime figures have risen in an alarming rate during the last decades. While some people assert that the sole way to cope with this problem is establishing stricter rules as well as harsh punishment for the law offenders, I contend that there are much more alternative measures could be taken to reduce and prevent this unwanted trend in the society.

It is true that the stricter the punishment is, the more deterrent it would be for the criminals who tend to violate the rules. However, this policy does not always work if the other aspects of incurring criminal activities are not pondered. For instance, in spite of the harsh punishment for drug dealing in certain countries like Afghanistan, the number of traffickers and smugglers are still increasing in an apprehensive way. This simply occurs because of the fact that there is no other legal opportunity for majority of people to sustain their lives. As a consequence, they would rather to approve all the risks of this bloody business and even capital punishment sentence just to be capable of supporting their family. This vicious cycle will tend to continue unless the unemployment and economic issues be addressed by the government.

Moreover, there would be more benefit for societies to focus more attention on crime prevention rather than imposing stricter rules or building new incarceration facilities. Admittedly, it is crucial to encourage young people to abide by the law and inform them about the serious ramification of offending the rules. This way, the society would lead to more stable situation as well as the number of law-abiding individuals would increase. As a result, the capital cost of coping with crime would reduce which would be in the best interest of all members of the society.

To sum up, it is true that imposing stricter punishment is likely to lead reducing the number of crimes. Nevertheless, there are more effective measures that can be taken into account with the aim of crime prevention.

*I would be grateful if I could receive your adorable feedback.

Writing Feedback / There has been an immense increase in some immoral traits of human beings in modern societies. [4]

Individual greed and selfishness has been the basis of the modern society. Some people think that we must return to older and more traditional values of respect for the family and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There has been an immense increase in some immoral traits of human beings in modern societies. Self-concentration and egoism is expanding alarmingly as well as profit-making prospects. However, there are some measures that can be taken to prevent this apprehensive trend. Highlighting the inherited virtues from previous generations as well as accentuating the values of traditional lifestyle is likely to be an effective way to tackle the world today problems in this regard.

To begin with, today's members of modern societies have a tendency to consider themselves as the sole element in the world without noticing the fact that they are part of a bigger community. This self-concentration and egoistic attitude has incurred as a result of the downward slope in community spirit and social ties among the individuals which are not as strong as they used to be in the old times. Although this is the price of living a modern lifestyle, people can still consider themselves as limbs of a body. Promoting charity activities as well as encouraging people to follow ethical legacy of our ancestors can lead us to a more stable society.

Furthermore, there has been a trend to value money more than morality for the last millennium which has led people to a profit-making perspective in life. Evaluating people based on their possessions and properties has become a virtue nowadays. While the financial ability of an individual can be pondered as a major accomplishment, there are far more ethical values that should be taken into account for one in order to be believed as a successful personality in traditional cultures. These values such as strong family bonds need more attention and respect so that to become as a relief for stressful modern lifestyle. Admittedly, people would be less vulnerable to financial deficits as they could be supported by their families and communities.

All in all, it is true that the modern lifestyle has brought ethical drawbacks to the societies. However, paying respect to traditional values and moral virtues could be an appropriate approach to cope with this unwanted trend.

* I'd be pleased to receive your comments.