Undergraduate / Michigan Diversity Essay - Well drilling in Cambodia [4]

"We know that diversity makes us a better university -- better for learning, for teaching, and for conducting research." (U-M President Mary Sue Coleman)

Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan.

Three years ago, I embarked on an overseas community service trip in Prey Veng, Cambodia. Part of the project required my group to drill a well in a remote. After a day of enervating well-drilling, we were exhilarated to see the first upward splash of water. I quickly washed my muddy limbs with the water as I could not wait to grab my can of cold 100 plus in the van. When I was doing my wash-up, the sight of Cambodians drinking water, with their cupped hands, excitedly and anxiously from the well struck me.

What I used for self-cleaning, they drank voluptuously. The water, which I thought was dirty, was actually the essential of their life. What was unattractive to me was appealing to them.

My belief that people who are indigent are sorrowful was overthrown. It dawned on me that one's happiness is not hinged on one's affluence. The water that I eventually tasted was more rejuvenating and cooling than my isotonic drink. For the rest of my stay, I learn to appreciate the people's culture and their way of life. Although the villagers lived in straw houses, they led happy lives. Their tenacity and optimistic attitude despite their hardships commanded my respect.

Back home, my weekly volunteering in the Home for the Intellectually Disabled, participation in the Singapore Model United Nations conference, involvement in grassroots activities and conscription in the Singapore Armed Forces have allowed me to interact with people from all strata of the society. With these, I will bring to the university's heterogeneous community my enriching experiences as a volunteer, a debater, a leader and soldier. A prospective engineer, who has learned more outside his classroom, is going Blue.

Please comment, I am not sure if I miss the prompt. Thanks.

Undergraduate / 'A new electrical plug' - UIUC Essays (Academic Interests/Activity) [3]

Essay 1: In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your academic interests and/or professional goals.

Ten years ago, I changed a new electrical plug for an iron. The circuit breaker tripped when I turned on the appliance and the whole house was engulfed in darkness. This happened for a few times until I discovered the correct arrangement for the live, ground and neutral connections. Since then, I was fascinated about science and how electricity works. The changing of every fused light bulb in the house has thus become my hobby.

In high school, I realized that the electron is more than a carrier of electricity. Being neither here nor there, it can also exist as a wave. The fact that our real world is made up of these packets of uncertainty, and that there is a chance that the full stop in this very sentence might tunnel through this sheet of paper intrigued me. To convince myself that the Planck's constant is a very small number, I designed a circuit to measure it using light emitting diodes.

I enjoy understanding how elegant equations are derived from elementary numbers and axioms, intricate machines are constructed based on simple laws in physics and practical problems are solved with application of economical knowledge. The scanning tunneling microscope, with the aid of the electrons, exposed me to the interesting atomic surface of a matter while the study of optical fibers made me appreciate the convenience of a broadband and cable television. Electrical engineering suits me best as I can pursue my passions in math and physics, and at the same time, explore my interests in nanotechnology and photonics.

With a distinguished and diverse faculty, UIUC is a great place for me to collaborate with other engineers in multi-disciplinary projects and I look forward to entering your Micro and Nanotechnology Laboratory and creating useful nanodevices for the benefits of mankind.

(300 words)

Essay 2: In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience, or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.

My appetite for new experiences prompted me to pick up a musical instrument though I had no musical background. Since young, blind buskers in shopping districts have always captured my attention and inspired me with their harmonicas. Also, I do not deny that my decision to join the high school's Harmonica Band sprang from my novel intention to play a romantic solo for her on a stage.

To most people, the harmonica may seem unstylish and easy-to-play. However, the different mouth techniques, like a staccato kiss or a legato slide, on the harmonica require fine execution in order to produce harmonious melodies. Hours of practice occasionally left me with cracked lips, and admonitions from my conductor often filled me with guilt. However, all these were worth the opportunity for a first public performance. A full house patronage and boisterous applauses were nonetheless rewarding, but true satisfaction came from immersing in the joyous mood or the poignant tales of the musical pieces, playing more with heart than mouth and enjoying every moment on the stage. These, along with the chemistry among the players, kept me close to the Band.

The harmonica was a source of relaxation from my hectic academic life although the pressure to play well and live up to the music drove me to practice industriously. Performing in the public boasted my confidence, while playing in the Band taught me how to strike a balance between creativity and technical accuracy. I also learned the importance of teamwork as every concert would not be successful without the combined effort of my fellow members, teachers and conductor.

I have never regretted that I did not get to perform a solo, as I realized that sometimes, life is meaningful when it is less of me and more of us.

(297 words)

Thanks for reading. Is my first essay too generic? Please criticize hard and frankly.

Undergraduate / Michigan Engineering Short Essay [3]

Please describe your interests and aspirations in engineering. What experiences have influenced you? (Approximately 250 words)

Out of curiosity, I once dismantled the CD-Rom drive and meddled with the movable head assembly before putting the screws back. This attempt to understand how light beam works in disc reading gave me a hair-raising experience when a CD-Rom exploded in the drive. It happened probably due to my wrong assembly, and numerous pieces of plastic shrapnel were, like firings from a turret, shooting out of the tray. This did not deter me from doing my own experiments. Unconvinced that the Planck's constant is a very small number, I designed a circuit to measure it using light emitting diodes. Finding out how things work is additional to my hobby of changing every fused light bulb and faulty lavatory cistern in the house.

In high school, my encounter with the elegant Schrodinger's equation was intriguing for I realize there is a chance that the full stop in this very sentence might tunnel through this sheet of paper. The scanning tunneling microscope exposed me to the interesting atomic surface of a matter while the study of optical fibers made me appreciate the convenience of a broadband and a cable television. Electrical engineering suits me best as I can pursue my passions in math and physics, and at the same time, explore my interests in nanotechnology and photonics.

With a diverse engineering faculty, University of Michigan is a great place for me to collaborate with other engineers in multi-disciplinary projects and I look forward to entering your Solid-State Electronics Laboratory and creating useful devices for the benefits of mankind. A prospective engineer has decided to go Blue.

(265 words)

Comments and critcisms please. Is my answer focused enough? Is the last sentence childish? Thanks.

Undergraduate / Michigan Setback Essay - Irritable Bowel Syndrome [5]

Describe a setback that you have faced. How did you resolve it? How did the outcome affect you? If something similar happened in the future, how would you react? (Approximately 500 words)

I stood in front of the mirror and studied the lanky man in it. His face was morose and his jawbones converged sharply at his chin. Two bony humps were visible on his narrow shoulders and his legs were as skinny as those of Barbie doll. He looked emaciated and malnourished. I could not accept the fact that I was actually the man.

Two years ago, I experienced periodic bouts of constipation and diarrhea and lost ten kilograms in four months. During the day, I could make fruitless visits to the lavatory; in the night, spasms in my stomach would jar me out of my sleep and send me running for the toilet. An endoscopy later revealed that I was suffering from Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS).

IBS threw me into an abyss of paranoia. Standing on the bathroom scale several times a day, I would frantically look out for any gain in my weight. The thought that there was a ticking time bomb in my abdomen filled me trepidation. IBS was like a leech, sucking away my social life and happiness. I retracted myself from gatherings and stayed at home because I did not want others to see me in such a bad shape. Any fleeting moments of joy were just premonitory signs of a next attack. I could not fathom why the food could not be fully digested and why my feces could not be properly egested. I cried under the blanket, sobbed in the toilet and kept asking why I was hit by the illness.

The lack of nutrition made me occasionally lethargic. Besides the toilet and my bed, there was nowhere I wanted to go. The night before my family went on holiday, I told my parents that they could just leave me alone at home.

However, the next morning, I was startled to see my parents still at home when they should have flown off.

"My boy, holiday will not be fun without you," my father announced. "We'll stay at home for this December break instead."

His words struck me. It dawned on me that I have a family which gave me unwavering support. My father, a busy businessman, always accompanied me for my medical appointments and my mother quitted her job to stay at home and take care of me. At least IBS did not rob me of my loved ones; it made me realize their presence. The fact that I had it was immutable but I saw that I have the choice on my response to it. I told myself to be optimistic.

For once, I ignored the bathroom scale. I tried to see an attack as a precursor of happiness that would ensue. I applied logic to deal with the uncomfortable symptoms. As slouching after a meal will weaken my sphincter muscles, I always stand up for a while after a meal to let the food go down with the aid of gravity. Instead of taking three big meals and jamming up my digestive tract, I would eat five smaller meals. Although the path to recovery was arduous, I conditioned myself to regard each relapse as small stuff rather than catastrophic event.

I learned to treasure my relationships with people, especially my family members, and realized that it was not shameful to have IBS. With encouragements from my friends, I returned to the grassroots and volunteering. I am still who I am after IBS plagued me. I merely acquired an irritating thing, another challenge in life which boosted my adversity quotient. After all, it is the obstacles, the ups and downs that made life meaningful.

I stand in front of the mirror and study myself. It is not the sorrowful lanky man. It is happy, skinny me. What I see is the strong air of self confidence which emerged as I moved from denial of my illness to acceptance of this weakness. It is this confidence which I believe will help me embrace whatever that will come in the future.

(667 words)

Is this too cliched? Please criticize and comment frankly, on the content, the grammar, the diction and the style. Thanks.