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Posts by linhexi
Joined: Aug 18, 2009
Last Post: Jan 12, 2010
Threads: 9
Posts: 28  

From: China

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linhexi   
Jan 10, 2010
Undergraduate / Bryn Mawr supplement essay: What you expect to gain and what will you contribute [5]

Please attach an essay of no more than one page telling us what you think you would gain from the educational experience at Bryn Mawr and what you would contribute to the community.

During the 2008 Beijing Olympic Game City Voluntary work, I was in charge of the Peking Opera Make-ups display in my area. "Why his eyebrow curves like that? " A Pakistan tourist asked me why such cunning look appeared on a very white face, while white meant purity and holiness rather than duplicity in his nation. A British man was confused by Zhang Fei's irascible temper which made him killed. I dropped into diversities of culture, religious, standards of values. And I thought there must be something same for most of people, same in heart. I designed make-ups with symbols that deeply implanted in Chinese culture, like ancient complex patterns epitomized empire's nobleness and grandeur. The trends among people curiously exploring unfamiliar culture deepened people's understanding of Chinese "symbols", reminded me of culture diversities I had been through, which I would contribute to the community I live in.

I collected my memories from tulip in Holland, Notre Dame in Paris, gorgeous the Louvre in France, and various cultures' symbols from my childhood in Europe, from which I gained inspiration when designing newspapers or painting. I told my Japanese friend that her nation used to invade my country when we were sitting on a swing at a serene dusk. Her silence gave away her doubt to such bloody history with now highly developed and peaceful society, which was the first time in my life I realized the complicated problems' existing between two nations-it's not about the truth of history, but about citizen's wiliness and sincerity to accept-for both of us. It didn't occur to me that I dare speak out what I think, and stand by with my own deed until eight years later I devoted myself to social concerns and culture communication, passionately debated over international problems, and extended Chinese culture's influence by actual practicing like paddling the Dragon Boat.

Now I am expecting my college life. I expect an environment in which indivisuals are fully attended instead of lost in the crowd and being neglected, and Bryn Mar's distinctive women's liberal arts education that offers enough attention for women intellectual development just fits my need. I intend to probe in the media and communication field, and expect wide ranges of courses to choose from, to reach a comprehensive study in this concentration, and of course, Bryn Marw's Bi-co and Tri-co surprised me. Five thousand courses-I can imagine my limitless possibilities and engagements in Bryn Mawr. I expect the college's location to be convenient and offer historical, economical, and cultural recourses while allow tranquil state of mind. I expect my vision towards future get more clear and purposeful in Bryn Mawr; I expect real practices in Bryn Mar's Media Lab, and study a fourth language in the language learning centre! I also look forward to starting a Peking Make-ups club, in which members will learn how to express history figures' emotions and characters, and get to know Chinese traditional culture from a new perspective. I wish to be part of Bryn Mawr College, with a heart that ready to let curiosity spread and meet new challenges exists.

Thank you for any critiques!
linhexi   
Jan 10, 2010
Writing Feedback / TOEFL "Playing game is fun when you win?" [5]

You explained your point of view clearly, but I suggest you set some examples to fully sustain your second and third pargraph.
linhexi   
Jan 6, 2010
Undergraduate / Smith essay! (Is a women's college still relevant in 2009?& WHY SMITH.) [2]

1.When Smith College was founded in 1871, there were few educational opportunities for women. Is a women's college still relevant in 2009? (Limit response to 150 words)

In 1871, women could hardly get equal opportunities of higher education as men did. Though women's position has been greatly enhanced, lots of women's rights to education still get ignored. When I came back to my father's birth place, a deprived village in the northern China, I found barely had girls in my age received education like I did. They became wives while urban women entered colleges.

In this era, women's college aims more than educational equality. It assists women realize their dream of becoming writers or leaders, etc. It helps us know how to make difference with our inner potential. In the place where we are the centre and carefully attended, diversities stand out above the similarities we share.

2.How did you first learn of Smith College and why are you applying? (Limit response to 100 words.)

Attending a college for women? This was a fresh idea for me. I never had a chance to experience a place designed especially for women's intellectual development. So there I met Smith College and surprised. Through the interview with Smith's alumina, I knew that living on Smith campus is like living in a palace; I knew that the professors are patient and super-good; I knew Smith is where my critical thinking, writing skills will be greatly changed, which will assist my later journey to be more exciting. I want a caring and competitive environment during my four years college life, and I knew Smith is my choice: it's a warm family converging diversities and versatilities.

Thank you for any critiques!
linhexi   
Dec 27, 2009
Undergraduate / Why Lafayette? - "diversity and academics at lafayette" [4]

I think you'd better talk more about yourself..not emphasize on school's faculty ratio, courses, facilities... the college knows itself better than you do, so why not depicting your own experience and tell the college that you match it!
linhexi   
Dec 27, 2009
Undergraduate / "Childhood Disappoinment": Stanford Supplement Essay on Intellectual Vitality [3]

Is your point is-children got devastated when they find out Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny are lies so that they will be stronger when facing harms later in their lives?

Your point is interesting while I don't think it's necessary for you to spend so much words on this topic. Why not relating your own experience and performance when dealing with setbacks or whatever hurts?

Like your point though!

Please comment on my essay.. I really need help! Thank you for your time if you could read it!
linhexi   
Dec 26, 2009
Undergraduate / What is the best piece of advice you've ever been given, and why? [8]

I had always been looking for a perfect ending which my efforts may deserve. I cheer for the debating championship, basketball game prize, and immerse in the world pictured by curving and painting, while depressed by my unsatisfying outcomes and rush harder to my goals. It has been tired. It's not like" life is full of possibilities and you got to chase your limitless dream", but an infinite hole arisen from my voracious heart.

This kind of thought accompanied me during my application process. I poured my worries to my closest friend. What if I failed? "Fail? What's the big deal?" She said, "You know what? I don't really care whether I ended up going Tufts University or any other colleges; I won't change my faith of growing to be what kind of person. So will you. You had been staring on the outward results. Why not seeing what's inward?"

Her words kept lingering in my mind, made me think the "real" intention of all things I had done. Her words recalled me to my unstable childhood environment, in which I changed three kindergartens and five primary schools. Whether in the school which had a tiny gritted playground, or in the best one in neighborhood with fresh equipments, I was diligent, with childish determination being the best one. However, it was always on my half way or on a slight distance reaching my goal that I got transferred, from old neighborhood to the city centre, then to the overseas. I never saw my results.

I accepted all the changes. I grabbed my camera photographing clouds during the hottest August in a suburb in Japan, rode my pink bike, and looked up to the sky all day long. I longed for the permanence that would allow me to see my developed pictures. "See what's inward." Memories occasionally pop, from which I found inconsistent environments actually trained me to be flexible, led me adjust to alterations soon and concentrate on what I care about immediately. I found what kind of person I have grown to be. I care about communities I live, taking care of olds and voluntarily weeding the park. I have passion in oil painting, working several months on my created piece, and send them to my friends on their birthdays. I inhibit myself without much parent's supervision and manage my own time since first grade. I never saw the outcome of a long period, yet the result itself already came and implanted deep in my soul.

My friend's advice altered my attitude towards both my past and future. It did remind my true intention to apply for universities in U.S: to pursue liberal arts education that allows me developing comprehensively. "See what's inward." Sayings never lack, while I seldom relate them such tightly with me as I do now, when I recognize that how I continue my journey actually matters more than, where I go and where I stay.

Thanks for any ideas!!
linhexi   
Oct 22, 2009
Undergraduate / Diversity essay.(Thoughts emerged from Peking Opera Make-ups.) [5]

Though within similar shape and outline, every one's facial texture is unique as they significantly related to personality, life experience and living environment, and that's why Peking Opera Make-ups expresses rich emotion on the behalf of character by various bright colors and patterns. Emerged from reality, yet it exaggerates human feelings, making Peking Opera mystically contagious by visual description of history figures.

When I was asked to take charge of the Peking Opera Make-ups display during 2008 Beijing Olympic Games city voluntary work I distracted for a second. It was something I had never related to. I dug my memory about history figures, their typical personalities as well as colors and drawing techniques that represented them. I turned pages of Pecking Opera Make-ups collection. "Yellow represents wiliness, red's fidelity..." Patters were rich, yet colors and skills had the rule. I started drawing, brushing red on both side of the face and delineating eyebrows with little bit shaking hands. My sights converged into smooth outlines, brightly mixed colors, and characters' stories.

What we were working on attracted tourists all around. "What is it? Is it masks of performer? Why his eyebrow curves like that? " It was agreeable answering their questions, introducing foreigners about irreplaceable functions in our unique culture legacy. I remember I told a British guy the figure I was depicting was Zhang, Fei, a strong man full of valor as a lion yet killed by two of his troops because of his irascible temper. I really did, describing battles and stories, yet that visitor's showed interest with confusing look. I ran into a situation where a Pakistan tourist asked me why there was such cunning look on a very white face, while white meant purity and holiness rather than duplicitous mind in his nation. I dropped into diversities of culture, religious, standards of values, and I thought I could create something different on the basis of Peking Opera Make-ups.

I started to design make-ups with symbols that deeply implanted in Chinese culture, like lotus represented Chinese's belief in Buddhism, and ancient complex patterns epitomized empire's nobleness and grandeur. The display won great popularity in our area, exceeded the concept of nation's treasure, transformed into platforms of various Chinese "symbols". It's not about colors' various meanings in different nations, but similar trends among people curiously communicating with unfamiliar culture. The success of the exhibition reminded me culture diversity I had been through.

Lived in Europe for several years, I collected my memory from tulip in Holland, Notre Dame in Paris, gorgeous the Louvre in France, various cultures' symbols in my head. Spent three years of primary education in Japan, I remember I told my best Japanese friend that her nation used to invade my country when we were sitting on the swing on a pleasing noon. Her silence gave away her confusion to such blood history yet highly developed society, which was the first time in my life I realized the complicate problems' existence between two nations. Seven years later I was addressing in the dinner hall to 200 Japanese teachers and students, devoting my passion and understanding to culture communication. Water splashed when I paddled the Dragon Boat with my team with great effort, I immersed myself in the diversity of both traditional and global culture spirit, which gradually nourished the personality I'm holding.

Thank you for any ideas!
linhexi   
Oct 22, 2009
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Should parents make an important decision for their children?? [5]

Different from opinion above, I think it's nice to write something little bit emotional. It's rare to see someone writing something by their inner self for the Toefl test.

The grammer is fine, though I suggerst you using more transection words to smooth your article.
linhexi   
Oct 22, 2009
Writing Feedback / studying the past has little value. do u agree or not? why? [2]

Your point is Okay, though I think you could revise some sentences like:

First of all, studying the past helps people avoid repeat mistakes that happened in the past.

First of all, studying the past helps people avoid repeating mistakes.

Moreover, people can improve their living standards through inventions in many fields which are based on the knowledge and experience accumulated from the past. For example, people could have produced electricity if there had been no inventions of electron line of Pharaday. Based on this invent, people now can create electricity to improve the life quality.''

The words use is a little bit redundant. This is just my personal opinion. Hope helped.
linhexi   
Oct 18, 2009
Undergraduate / Carleton college short answer: teacher who most influenced you. [2]

Is this OK? Thank you for any ideas!

Miss. Chen was my 9th grade's Chinese teacher. She just graduated from college when me met, yet her working late at her office till 10:00 p.m., keeping four hours' sleep everyday preparing classes soon brought up our Chinese tests score to the highest. She proved herself when no one paid much emphasis on a new coming teacher, as well as enlightened me to hold such brave attitude and persistence facing any challenges as the way she did.

Somehow she noticed my diffidence, started with words like "Why not believing yourself" she dragged out that shy, timid girl out of my mind. We communicated through my essays every week, talked about certain author's life, classic Chinese even phenomena in society, from which emerged my interests in writing and reading. Her words incented me to build my solid inner faith, so as her determination taught me to concentrate in real practice and arrange my available time regularly. Her character had long been shaped in my mind as model, and for so long had supported me to beat up harsh challenges and strive for things I value.
linhexi   
Oct 18, 2009
Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay "modern technology" [7]

However, unless the technology can help the students to sift the information and the students can stop themselves from entertaining with the convenience that technology brings all over the time, the speed of learning can not be accelerated significantly.
linhexi   
Sep 27, 2009
Undergraduate / Personal statement"After the surgery nightmare " [2]

I really don't whether this topic is OK for my application essay. I know this is too long and need lots of revision works. Any ideas?

It may sound ridiculous if I said, it was the accident five years ago that rebuilt me into a completely different girl. I slipped to the main road and was thrown away when I was riding bike on the icy road. Intense pain from my right ankle left me no way to move. I gulped down my sobs and called my dad, and 3o minutes later, I sit in the X-rays room, being informed that I need a surgery to fix my broken bones by pegging nails! Twelve year old girl yet I was, I burst out crying and reluctantly watched doctor covering my right shank by thick, wet plaster. How shocked I was to relate my life with operation, how scared I was waiting for" the Day", and how sad I was when I spent the Christmas Eve in the sickroom, writing 40 pieces of cards to my friends and family.

I tried to be a good girl when I knew my parents weren't able to look after me, but end up lying on the bed awake listening a patient's moaning all night long. When "the Day" came one week later, I told myself stories of Chinese great heroes who suffered a lot from enemies before their death yet did not give in. "See, they all surpassed the pain! It's nothing big deal! " Huddling my body as a shrimp when received the anesthetic, I peeked around the surgery room to let me less concentrate on needles piercing into my spinal cord.

How torturing it was during the twelve hours after the operation. I refused to use morphine as the doctor said it may cause certain effects on my brain, which caused my worries about turning into a nerd if I used it. When tears came up, I closed my eyes, so tightly that the light became blinding when I eased my eyelids. Harsh time finally went away. I kept the needle stay in my horizontally raised left hand's blood vessel, stood by one foot and stretched my right arms to my favorite snacks in the corner of the room. I liked the feeling of taking good care of myself.

I felt as if I had come through something, something I never expected and dared, which incented me to take up things I had never imagined, not to try different kinds of surgeries but to meet fresh challenges. It empowered me to stand on the stage, the dream I had never dare to realize. I searched for a Jazz teacher online and took up courses immediately. I remember how excited and anxious I was seeing myself from a broad mirror. My first move was so like a nerd as my body was so strained. Tirelessly, practicing basic skills like Waves exhausted me, yet I got out of the gymnasium bathed with sweat, filled my nerves with amazing delight.

I dragged the diffident, shy girl out of my mind. I started my Jazz Dancing team, rehearsed our dance for hours every week, and absolutely stood out on the big stage at my high school talent show. I wiped out my fear and shyness; I felt the hotness of spotlight.

I kept digging, as I like knowing nothing and expecting. I moved forward not depending on my advantages, but to challenge my abilities, like choosing to join the basketball game with my 5.2 feet height and got the fourth prize. I came to the realization that I want to meet difficulties just as when the surgery nightmare came true, the realization that I shall keep my heart optimistic as long as I live, the realization that I will take risks and challenge myself as I never know what personality I'll get through those unknown experience.
linhexi   
Sep 26, 2009
Undergraduate / Personal statement "The fear." [5]

thank you for all opinons! Really helpful! This is my revised version. Is it getting better?

It may sounds ridiculous if I said the accident five years ago changed me completely. I slipped to the main road and was thrown away when I was riding bike on the icy road. The intense pain from my right ankle left me no way to move. I gulped down my sobs and called my dad, and 3o minutes later, I sit in the X-rays room, being informed that I need a surgery to fix my broken bones by pegging nails. Twelve year old girl though I was, I burst out crying and reluctantly watched doctor covered my right shank by thick, wet plaster and sent me to the ward. How shocked I was to relate my life with operation, how scared I was waiting for" the Day". How sad I was when I spent the Christmas Eve in the sickroom, writing 40 pieces of cards to my friends and family. How torturing it was during the 12 hours after the operation.

All of the above seem normal but means lots to me. I encouraged myself by reminding myself great heroes in Chinese history who suffered a lot from enemies before her death yet did not give in, and finally surpassed the fear, smiled to my mom and was sent to the surgery. Experience like huddling my body as a shrimp when received the anesthetic, refusing to use morphine after surgery and taking good care of myself after the surgery when my parents were on their business indeed rebuilt me. When two months later I almost recovered from the operation, I felt like I had come through something, something I never expected and dared. The feeling incented me to take up things I had never imagined, not to try different kinds of surgeries but to meet fresh challenges.

Therefore, I dragged the diffident and shy girl out of my mind. I joined the debating game in my both my senior two and three year. Yet our team lost the first game, I wasn't defeat, as I knew it was just the beginning of my path. A year later, we made it to the finalist. I collected reference sand summaries of discussion in files, practiced my expression everyday in front of a mirror, emulated the actual competition in group. On the day of finalist, the lecture hall was packed with students and faculties. Judges and several cameras were staring at us. I heard my illustration about emperor Kangxu's policy during Qing Dynasty's, my emphasized tone and loud voice without shaking.

Yes, it empowered me to stand on the stage, the dream I had never dare to realize. I searched for a Jazz teacher online and took up courses immediately. I remember how excited and anxious I was seeing myself from a broad mirror. I first moved like a nerd as my arms and legs were so strained. I tried to relax, breath deeply, and practiced tirelessly. Basic skills like Up-and-down, Waves exhausted me, yet I got out of the gymnasium bathed with sweat, filled my nerves with amazing delight. I started my Jazz team, took subway for hours to the rehearsal place to run through our dance, and absolutely stood out on the big stage at my high school talent show. I had been longing for the day, the day I wiped out my fear and shyness, the day I felt the hotness of spotlight.

I kept digging my passion, in the fields of oil painting, dragon boat racing, and community voluntary works. I like knowing nothing and expecting something surprising. I got them, and carried on. I moved forward not depending on my advantages, but to challenge my abilities, like choosing to join the basketball game with my 5.2 feet height and got the fourth prize. I came to the realization that I want to meet challenges just as when the tiny surgery nightmare came true, the realization that I shall keep heart optimistic as long as I live, the realization that I will take risk and challenge myself as I never know what it will turned out to be.
linhexi   
Sep 10, 2009
Undergraduate / Personal statement "The fear." [5]

I was dancing on the big stage at the high school talent show with my dance team named "Stand out", scanning the excited audience cheering along with our moves. I had been longing for the day, the day I wiped out my fear and shyness, the day I felt he hotness of spotlight, the day I saw my dream came true.

It wouldn't happen if I didn't surpass the fear in mind and finally grown to be a sunny, active girl, decided to pursuit my dream of standing on the stage. I remember how the words like "I'm not slim. I do not have coordinate body. People will laugh at me..."blocked my desire for over 16 years. It wouldn't happen if I didn't make up my mind, searched a Jazz teacher online and took up Jazz class every weekend. I remember how excited and anxious when I first stood in front of a broad mirror. Watching myself followed teacher's every movement, I felt myself like a nerd as both my arms and legs were so strained. I tried to relax, breath deeply, and stared at every gesture of mine, and improved it tirelessly. Basic, simple skills like Up-and-down, waves exhausted me. However, when I got out of the gymnasium bathed with sweat, an amazing delight filled all over my nerves. Later on, I started my Jazz team, and I remember we would take subway for hours to rehearsal place to run through our dance, and how confidence we were when we absolutely stood out.

When I was a child I read lots of fairy tales such as" Grimm's Fairy Tales", strangely besides the pleasure of reading fairy tales, Azrael became the most horrible thing I afraid of for it always shows on a dark night and relentlessly bring people's loved ones away. Though I had no idea about death, when I was asked to go to bed in the room without light on, I felt horrible and said, "Azrael is there!" Apart from this, lots stories of fear filled in my heart, made me like a coward. As I grew older, I read a saying; nothing is as horrible as the horror itself. Then some days later I compelled myself to step into a murky room and found nothing horrific, I surpassed my fear.

Nothing is more horrible than the horror itself, so I decided to face the things I unnecessarily worried about. I was totally shy before I attend a debate game as an audience speaker in junior high school. The amazing intense debating triggered my eagerness to speak, but when the audience part really came, I felt my mind again dropped into a gloomy room. No more worries, no more shyness, and no more ridiculous fear. I told myself, and stood up. I spoke out my thoughts loudly and clearly, which incented my expressiveness in public, and became the origin of my later debating game activities.

I faced the diffident girl in my deep mind, dragged her out to show herself. I joined the debating game in my both my senior two and three year. We lost the first game, but I wasn't defeat, as I knew it was just a beginning of my passion. A year later, I took apart in again, and this time we made it to the finalist. I collected our reference and summary of discussion in numerous files, organizing all of these separated documents to refine my logic. Debate is a process to argue rather than convince; thus, I practiced my expression everyday before a mirror. It should be an enjoyable auditory and reason presentation instead of a quarrel; thus, we emulated the actual competition in group, noticing tones and gestures. On the day of finalist, the lecture hall was packed with all students and faculties, with judges and several cameras staring at us. I began my words. I heard my illustration about emperor Kangxu's policy during Qing Dynasty's, my emphasized tone and loud voice without shaking. The timid, shy girl existed nowhere under the spotlight, and never going to revive.

Whatever the fear is about, I surpass it and be the true me. I became the girl who cooking herself dinner without fear of fire, energetically organizing school activities, passionately painting without fear of failure, carefully taking care of the old in community. I absorb the courage and confidence that had been lack in my mind for too long. The happiness, the satisfaction of being someone I like gives me guts and incentive to meet any challenges on my way.

Thank you for reading this! The essay is too long and I don't know how to cut it. Besides, how about the topic?
linhexi   
Sep 10, 2009
Writing Feedback / Toefl : professional athletes make too much money? [9]

As a Toefl writing essay this is enough. But I think you should draw your conclusion better than just they are scarce and they care about the society as much as others do.
linhexi   
Aug 24, 2009
Undergraduate / Common Application. Personal Statement. ''Dragon boat race"' [17]

Thank you so much!
This is the second revison work. Is it getting better?

The notice of dragon boat race event on a school notice-board inexplicably attracted me. All I knew about this event was that it is a tradition derived from ancient Chinese history to bear a great poet Qu Yuan in mind. I couldn't wait to fulfill my curiosity and register even though I had never paddled a boat before.

I took a heavy, wooden quant. One hand held its upper side tightly, whilst my other hand grabbed its tail part. Everybody sat in sequenced 2-row chairs ashore, 6 people in one row. Everything was brand new and intriguing. We had a coach who taught us basic movement of boating and skills of speeding up, a drummer who beat a drum to regulate our rhythm, and a real dragon boat! Under the scorching sunshine, we kept leaning forwards to push the quant and leaning backwards to pull back for an hour with wet shirts, aching waist and arms.

The exhaustion of ashore practice was more then I expected, not to mention the actual performance on the lake. I remember how different it was between rolling my quant ashore in air and in water. Everybody should paddle synchronous to let the boat progress fast, cling to the gunwale to prevent the boat from flipping over. All of those situations converted into my courage and determination to stick up, even in the dangerous situation where the strong wind compelled us to float above the lake and the boat could overturn at any minute.

The big competition day finally came along with my expectation. We warmed up, wore life jackets and board on the boat in the eyes of all the teams, coaches, media and audience. Every drop of sweat would be paid off this day. The starting gun shot. Each Drummer started striking drums. I had to tell the drumbeat by our own drummer from all other teams' on the lake to lead the team's movement.

300-meter lake surface were still waiting to be disturbed in that windy day. In order to make sure everybody turn their waists and apply strength efficiently, I came up with an idea which was to meet the eyes of people on your other side when pulled back quant. It really worked, the teams whole action was regular as model. We used up all the strength but still got exceed by one other team. Last 50 meters! I was exhausted and so were others. The order of quant movement was completely jumbled. Cheering voice no longer worked. We just rushed to the goal with closed eye splashed by water.

We missed the championship, but the feeling filled in my mind was happiness rather than disappointment. I cooperated with everybody else and enjoyed myself during the discussion about our strategy in race. I recalled the first time I stepped on the wobbly boat and heard girls' exciting screaming. I remember the hard training frazzle my hand skin. I found not only our team's strength during training, but also my inner potential to dare something new. Every challenge was a precious chance to know better about myself. Never defeat by anything unfamiliar before taking a shot. Stay curious and join in. Lots of treasures are way to be found.
linhexi   
Aug 24, 2009
Undergraduate / Supplement essay.(Language and communication) [7]

Thank you for all ideas!
Here is my revised essay. Is it getting better?

Back to two years ago I often heard people saying" How nice you are able to speak three languages!" I was a little bit proud of this but didn't really understand its value. For me, all the learning of language was just took up for the sake of living environment of school course requisition.

My view of being multilingual changed after I attended a formal dinner party and acted as a translator between Japanese visitors and Chinese students. Overcoming my shyness of speaking in front of 200 guests, I made a welcome speech in Japanese. That was an activity between high schools in different nations, and I played as one of the core part during all the conversation. I interpret the talk between Chinese and Japanese and introduced both culture to everybody. The greatness of the Forbidden Palace, the magnificent of Great Wall and the unique atmosphere in Beijing's HuTong attracted those foreigners as well as the beautiful FUJI scenery intrigued us Chinese. The dinner party turned out to be a big success and the president told me she was so proud of the night. What's more, the excitement I saw on everybody's face also enlightened my idea on communication.

Communication which is mainly consisted of language and understanding reduces the gap between different cultures. It appears in every corner in society such as making friends, working in groups, advertising goods. It brings people's mind closer, like I still kept the address of friends I meet on that night. I appreciate the charisma of language on catching people's mind, the core function of boundless communication.

From then on I start to notice every chance I could apply my language in communication like being my mom's company's translator of business meeting and starting a pool among foreign visitors in the Forbidden City. I start to study French Art Movies, take on oil painting, designing patterns. As communication attracts me through varieties ways such as language, advertising and designing, I consider trance my interest in Purdue University and pursue my goals in this intriguing field.
linhexi   
Aug 21, 2009
Undergraduate / Supplement essay.(Language and communication) [7]

This is the first draft. How's the idea?

Back to 2 years ago I often heard people saying" How nice you are able to speak three languages!" I was a little bit proud of this but didn't really understand its value. For me, all the learning of language was just took up for the sake of living environment of school course requisition. And I did nothing related to these skills.

The view that I see language only as a "skill" changed after I attend a formal dinner party and played as translator between Japanese visitors and Chinese students. Overcame my shyness of speaking in front of 200 guests, I made a welcome speech in Japanese. That was an activity between high schools in different nations, and I played as one of the core part during all the conversation. Not only did I interpret the talk between Chinese and Japanese, but also I introduced both culture to everybody. The greatness of the Forbidden Palace, the magnificent of Great Wall and the unique atmosphere in Beijing's HuTong attracted those foreigners as the beautiful FUJI scenery intrigued us Chinese. I felt magically satisfied when everybody got to know better about a country. The dinner party turned out to be a big success and the president told me she is so proud of the night.

And I strongly realized the function of language. It reduces the gap between different cultures, enlarges culture's influence. It also bring people's mind closer, like I still kept the address of friends I meet on that night. I appreciate the charisma of language for its function as the core of borderless communication, for its wonderful effect on some fields such as writing and theatre performance.

From then on I start to notice every chance I could contribute to the communication by language like being my mom's company's translator of business meeting and starting a pool among foreign visitors in the Forbidden City. As language could be a means of improving the environment we rely on, I consider pursue my goals in this colorful field.
linhexi   
Aug 18, 2009
Undergraduate / Common Application. Personal Statement. ''Dragon boat race"' [17]

"You wanna get in a Dragon boat race?"
I had not even paddled a boat before. But when I heard this event from school notice, I just put my name on it. I told my self, this might be fun. So I wasn't surprised when I told Mom about the dragon boat race which was going to be held in the city in 1 months and she asked without much attention.

The second day I went to the selective trials. Most prospective girl members were just like me, not strong enough, inexperienced. The coach asked all of us do 20 push-ups to see our strength. 20 push-ups could be the sum of push-ups I had ever done! I bent over on the ground, supported my body by my arms, breathed deeply. One, two, three... My arms were shaking, and I knew I must do every push-up as perfect as possible instead of casting myself on the ground. "You're good. Get up." I jumped up and laughed. I'm in.

Though the dragon boat race tradition came from an ancient story in China, bearing the great poet Qu Yuan in mind, this was still the first time I had a connection with it.

The training started in an early Sunday morning. I took a heavy, wooden quant with one hand holding tight on the upper side of it and the other hand grabbing its tail part. Everybody sit in sequenced 2-row chairs ashore, 6 people in one row. We practiced basic movement along with cadent drumbeat again, and again. Up the blistering sunshine, we kept practicing for an hour with wet shirts, ache waist and arms. When it came to the hottest time in a day, actual combat started.

I remember how different it was between rolling my quant ashore in air and in water. Everybody's action must be synchronous so that the boat would progress fast. Everybody had to cling to the gunwale so the boat wouldn't upside down. We paddled hard, put forth on sticking the quant in water, and pulled back with all the power we have quickly.

I sit in the very first of our team and every action of me decided our speed. I concentrated myself to the drumbeat. The quant pierced into the peaceful lake in the flash I heard the start signal. I cannot slow down to damage the tempo already established. I need to stay energetic to encourage each exhausted member. "Common, this is fun!" We stick the quant face to the two sides of boat, then turn back to smile to our neighbor members. Yes, this was how we cheered on.

All the teams, coaches, media and audience gathered on the game day. After wearing life jackets, we board on the dragon boat. Every drop of sweat would be paid off this day. The starting gun shot. Drumstick started to beat. Hostess was reporting the latest on a yacht following our boats. We have to tell our own drumbeat from all the noises on the lake.

That was a windy day, with 300-meter lake surface waiting to be disturbed. We kept our eye on the goal. 100 meters, 200 meters... We got exceed by the other team. Last 50 meters! Everybody seemed to be exhausted. Cadent quant turned to be messed up. Cheering voice no longer worked. We just rushed to the goal with closed eye splashed by water.

We stepped ashore without disappointment. Because we all knew that, we enjoyed the process. Every early morning we spent on the boat and exhausted training we had been through is what I got from the game. Though we were not strong as the other team consisted of athletes, we did our best and had fun. Never beat a retreat for anything unfamiliar. Stay curious and join in. Lots of treasures are way to be found.

I've written over 600 words. This may be too long for a personal statement. How's the idea?
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