Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: The advantages and disadvantages of the current population structure [5]

Question:
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

proportion of elder and younger people in society

Answer:
It is commonly known that the total population of the youngsters are more than that of the elderly in a large number of countries. My personal opinion is that the benefits of the current situation outweigh its drawbacks.

On the one hand, the elderly have more experience and are wiser than the young generation. Their experience helps them develop more strategies and can easily resolve problems when facing difficulties so they are more suitable for ruling corporations and leading the public. Nevertheless, the youngsters are more likely to feel panic or nervous towards tough situations and eventually fail to go over difficulties. For instance, the qualified candidates of presidents of the majority of countries must be over a certain age because the elderly are regarded as truth-worthy leaders.

On the other hand, young people can create more economic progress than the older generation. Firstly, the youngsters are physically stronger than their counterparts. They are more energetic and their physical condition allows them to work for long hours, which results in better work performance and higher productivity. Secondly, young workers can come up with innovative ideas to create more profit for the company. Compared to the elderly, young adults tend to be more interested in the new trend and technology, this helps them to think outside the box and encourage them to integrate the current model with their extraordinary ideas. For example, Steve Jobs created the first smartphone in his 40's, which was totally different from the original cell phone and has brought significant impact on modern peoples' lifestyle.

In conclusion, although the elderly play an important role in problem-solving, I believe that the young people can bring more positive effects to the society.

Please score my article, thank you.

Writing Feedback / The bar chart compares the worldwide sales figures for four different games over 6 years period [9]

digital games selling rate

The bar graph shows the global sales (in billions of dollars) of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006.

The bar chart compares the worldwide sales figures for four different games over the period of 6 years.

It is clear that handheld games were the most popular games among all four types of games. The figures for mobile phone games and online games gradually increased, while console games saw an opposite trend over the 6-year period.

In 2000, nearly 12 billion dollars was spent on handheld games. This was almost two times as much as the figure for console games. In 2002, the figures for cell phone games and online games were fairly similar, at about 1 billion.

It is obvious that handheld games witnessed a stable increase and reached its peak at less than 18 billion in the year 2006. The figure for online games dramatically jumped to 9 billion, while the number of mobile phone games gradually rose by 6 billion. Nevertheless, console games experienced a gradual decrease and fell to its lowest point at almost 3 billion in 2006.

Please rate my article, thanks.

• 
  ze.PNG
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: The Duty to Educate Children [3]

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

responsibility for kids schooling

There is much controversy about whether schools and teachers should take the responsibility to educate children to become people who can bring positive effects to our society. However, I believe that parents should be the role models for their children and educate them.

There are several reasons why some people might think school is a suitable place for children to learn to behave. Firstly, the main purpose of attending school is to acquire knowledge and socialize. Students can not only learn fundamental knowledge but also study how to communicate with others at school. As a result, teachers should focus on students' performance at both academy and social behavior. Secondly, peers play an important role on affecting children' behavior. Since teenagers can easily be influenced by their classmates and friends, a good environment and education become crucial for leading them to become good members of society.

In spite of the above arguments, parents should take more responsibility for their children. The main reason is that parents have to take care of their children whom they give birth to. Parents should spend more time than teachers to educate and company their children when they grow up. Another factor is that children imitate their parents' action. Parents should act as a positive role model to encourage their children to become good members of society and prevent them from setting up negative habits, such as smoking, gambling and breaking laws.

In conclusion, although schools can educate students to have good behavior, I think that parents, the people give birth to their children, should take more responsibility and put more effort on teaching their next generation.

Writing Feedback / Unpaid community service should be a compulsory high school program, do you agree or disagree? [3]

working in own community volountarily

There is much controversy about whether high school students should be forced to do unpaid community service. I think that taking part in community service can bring positive effects to the youngsters, but it should not be a compulsory program in school education.

There are two advantages for students to work for their own community. The main benefit is that it helps high school students to establish a sense of community. Community service, such as working for local charities, cleaning the neighborhood environment or companying the elderly, provides pupils a chance to connect with their neighbors and have a better understanding of their hometown. Another positive impact is that students can acquire practical experience and learn how to communicate with other people. Compared to the traditional curriculum, community service can help students to develop social skills, teamwork ability. These are all crucial factors for the youngsters to lead a better future life.

In spite of the above arguments, I believe that schools should not enforce students to take part in unpaid community service. Firstly, community service would shorten pupils' private time. Nowadays, students have to spend a long period of time at school and have a large amount of homework to do after school. The compulsory community service would not only shorten their time to finish homework assignments but also increase their pressure. Secondly, it is unfair for high school students to serve the community without salary. All of the local residents should take the responsibility to make the community better. If they decide to hire the students to serve the community, community councils or organizations should pay the appropriate salary for students.

In conclusion, although there are some advantages for students to serve the community, I disagree with the idea of compelling high school students to do unpaid community service.