Writing Feedback / Writing task 1 - layouts of a university's sports center [3]

plan of university sports centre

Question:
The plans below show the layout of a university's sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

Essay:
The following floor plans describe the current layout of a university's sports center and the future plan after renovation. Overall, the later has more indoor facilities and functional rooms than the former.

It is clear that the existing layout has two outdoor courts located in the east and the west of the sports center. In the heart of the center lies a 25-meter pool which is lined with an existing changing room and a row of seats along its sides.

Looking at the future plan, large-scale reconstruction has been planned to renovate the sport center substantially. Firstly, the eastern outdoor courts are going to be completely removed to make place for a new indoor sports hall. Next, two additional dance studios are planned to build next to the right of it. Furthermore, a new café and a second changing room are tentatively situated in the southeast in front of the sports hall. Secondly, there will be a new leisure pool constructed to replace the western outdoor courts. A third additional changing room and a sports shop are going to be built in the southwest of the center in front of the leisure pool. It is noticeable that the existing gym is expected to enlarge as almost double as its current size.

(Word count: 211 words)

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / Equal investment on railways and roads?: IELTS 2 [3]

Question:

Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that governments should inject more investments in a railway system than a road one. Although railway transport is critical to the economic development of a country, I would argue that road transport is of the equal importance.

The first reason why governments should not prioritize railway over roadway construction is the huge initial investment. Firstly, to build and operate a railway system, governments shall have to approve a large national-level construction project which requires a lot of time, money and manpower. Secondly, the cost for running and maintaining the system is also enormous. For example, in Romania, the proposed budget for upgrading the railway system from 2018 to 2020 is larger than 11 billion Euros. This cost requirement may not be considered affordable in many countries, especially developing countries where there are several other urgent pressing needs for the governments' budget.

The second reason why the road system should also be invested equally lies in its flexibility. Firstly, installment investments in a build-and-operate road system are possible while a railway system requires across-the-board investment and construction before operation. For example, developing countries can partly build its road system of which each part can be put into use upon completion. In addition, a road transport provides more flexibility in terms of door-to-door services and the volumes of goods transported while railways cannot.

In conclusion, a railway system is a large-project that needs a lot of money and manpower investments while a road system requires lesser funding at a times and proves to be more flexible. Therefore, both systems should be equally invested by governments to meet the efficient transport needs of a country.

Writing Feedback / Rates of recidivism are still high - reasons of this phenomenon and possible solutions [2]

IELTS writing task 2 - Criminals would commit crimes again when set free

Question:
Research suggest that the majority of criminals who are sent to prison would commit crimes when set free.
What are the reasons? What can be done to solve the problem?

Essay:
It is true that a large number of ex-offenders who have been set free are likely to offend again. This essay will explore two of the main reasons that lead to their recidivism and propose measures that may address them.

One of the main reasons is that most of ex-convicts usually face difficulties re-entrying into the society because of their losing all their social connections after incarceration. For instance, their former co-workers often feel unwilling to socialize with ex-prisoners, thus making them feel marginalized. Furthermore, stigmatization by their neighbors also limits their ability to lead a normal life. As a result, they usually make friends with ex-inmates who always welcome them to the world of crimes. To tackle this problem, local government and social community service bodies should create a network of supporters who can help these ex-offenders to build up their healthy social connections.

Another reason is that they cannot find good jobs. To successfully integrate back into society, these people need to be financially independent. However, their chance of applying for a good job is nearly impossible because ex-employers usually do not want to re-employ them and new employers tend to ignore their conspicuous resumes. This is likely to increase the rate of recidivism since they fail to earn a livelihood to support their own living cost. If the government had policies to train them some work skills when they were in prisons, they would have better chances to find good jobs after being released.

In conclusion, although rehabilitation programs in prisons try to improve offenders' behaviors but if the government do not have post-release programs to help ex-offenders to re-entry into the society, the rate of re-conviction may be high since they are isolated by society and unable to apply for decent jobs.

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2 - Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language [3]

Question: Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems.
To what extend you you agree or disagree with this statement.

adapt to new environment by learning local language

Nowadays, there has been a trend in which people tend to go abroad to study and work. As a result, they must speak a foreign language. Some people argue that speaking a language other than a person's mother tongue may lead to some worth-considering social problems as well as practical problems. I totally agree with this statement.

One of the biggest difficulties of immigrants living overseas is language barriers. If a person is incapable of speaking the widely-used language in a country, he is likely to face troubles immersing himself into the new environment. He may find himself helpless and un able to deal with daily simple activities such as talking with neighbors, going shopping, contacting banks and local governments. In addition, the lack of foreign language ability may possibly result in misunderstanding or even cultural conflicts which may marginalize him from the local society. Even worse, some people even violate local regulations because of their illiteracy, they cannot read and understand the regulations to follow the rules.

In addition, poor verbal and written communication in the foreign language may be the main cause of high rate of unemployment among immigrants. A vast majority of immigrants cannot apply for high-paid decent jobs since most of these jobs requires language competence. Also, illiteracy and language misunderstanding may lead to mental health problems such as stress and depression. Therefore, language plays a crucial part in enabling a person to integrate into a new environment.

In conclusion, to adapt to new environment well, immigrants should be able to communicate well in the language spoken in their localities. Lack of foreign language ability may cause multiple troubles to any person living in a foreign country. Therefore, before deciding to relocate in a foreign country, people should learn the language beforehand.

Writing Feedback / The water consumption rates divided into industrial use, agricultural use and domestic use [3]

IELTS writing task 1- Cam 11 - Test 1

Question:
The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

The pie charts describe the water consumption rates in six regions of the world, divided into three categories namely industrial use, agricultural use and domestic use. Overall, patterns of water consumption in North America and Europe share a similar affinity while those of water consumption in the four other regions varied.

In North America and Europe, the water used for industry kept the highest figures accounting for half of the total use of water (48% and 53% respectively), followed by the proportions of water used in agriculture making up roughly one-third of the total water consumption (39% and 32% respectively). By contrast, the proportions of water used for agriculture held the lowest rates of the total (13% and 15% respectively).

With regard to the other four regions, it is noticeable that the largest portions of water use were for agriculture, dominating the total water consumption (71%, 81%, 84% and 88% of agricultural use of water for South America, Southeast Asia, Africa and Central Asia respectively). However, no more than 12% of water used for industrial purposes in these four regions and only South America had the percentage of household water consumption of more than 10%. And, the remainder three regions had the domestic use rates of well under 10% which was in stark contrast with those of North America and Europe.