Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 1: Elaborate the changes of Queen Mary Hospital since its construction [3]

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Hospital's development phases

The diagram demonstrates how Queen Mary hospital has developed over the three different time periods(1960,1980 and 2000).

In 1960, the hospital was located just along the main road with a shopping centre right next to it. The land sitting on the back of the hospital was used for car parking, while on the opposite side was a farmland.

By 1980, the shopping centre was demolished due to the extension of hospital buildings: cancer centre and pharmacy. Moreover, a nursing school was constructed to replace the farmland. All the while, the car park area stayed untouched until later.

In 2000, the cancer centre expanded to cover the entire nursing school. Meanwhile, the parking area was reduced into half so there was enough space for nursing school to be relocated next to it.

Throughout the period, the main hospital building remained the same. However, the parking lot was resized due to the extension of nursing school and cancer centre.(159 words)

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Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 1: The graph below shows the pollution levels in London between 1600 and 2000. [6]

levels of sulphur dioxide and smoke in London over the centuries

The graph below shows the pollution levels in London between 1600 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph illustrates the pollution levels in London from 1600 to 2000. It measures the smoke and sulphur dioxide in micrograms per cubic metre. Overall, levels of the two pollutants share a similar pattern through the given period, while sulphur dioxide has a higher level of pollution than smoke in atmosphere.

In 1600, the pollution level was the lowest, however, it climbed in the next hundred year. Sulphur dioxide rose to around 700 micrograms, while smoke increased to an estimate of 200 micrograms. Over the next two hundred years, the levels of pollution grew consistently with a little fluctuation. The pollution level for sulphur dioxide peaked at nearly 900 micrograms in 1850. Smoke increased a little more steeply and peaked at about 450 micrograms in 1890. During the 20th century, both smoke and sulphur dioxide took a dramatic drop, although there was a fluctuation within the fall.

It is obvious that air pollution was considered as a bigger problem in the early 1900's than it is currently.(167 words)

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Writing Feedback / IELTS: Discuss both advantages and disadvantages of the Internet - information online [2]

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KNOWLEDGE FROM A WEBSITE?

It is generally believed that the Internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Using the Internet to connect with each other has brought a new aspect to the world, comparing to the main communication method 100 years ago. Although the Internet has its advantages, people still have doubts on whether the information provided is trustworthy. The essay is going to discuss how the Internet has shaped our lives.

With the Internet attached closely to our daily lives, people are able to expand their social circle and broaden the horizon. Nowadays, reaching out to others is simply a click on the phone to make it happen. Moreover, people who share common interests can find their ways to bond even they are thousand miles apart from each other. From reasons listed above, I think the Internet has brought a positive influence to the world.

On the contrary, exploding information comes along with the growth of the Internet usage, people tend to hold a conservative attitude towards the reliability. Take the US election for example, people with intention spread fake news all over the Internet to manipulate the public, which can be extremely wrong but neither precautions were executed in advance nor any regulations are established afterwards.

The evolution of the Internet somehow has brought the world together in a way. Despite having a more convenient life today, there are two sides of the same coin and it is important that people keep this in mind. To keep up with the ever-changing nature of technology, it requires people to think ahead of the future challenges and take appropriate actions.

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2: All jobs will be done by artificial intelligent robots eventually [3]

human jobs to be overtaken by robots

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Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificial intelligent robots. What is your opinion?

It is argued that most occupations will be replaced by artificial intelligent robots in the future. Although it is highly possible that only easy jobs will be substituted by robots, while the ones require human relations remain the same. The essay will discuss the reasons why only particular jobs will be done by machines.

Robots might eventually replace all tasks that do not require specific and complex human skills. A lot of companies will choose artificial intelligence over human labor due to the fact that is costs less than hiring, training and employing human. For instance, supermarkets in the UK have automatic machines set up to replace cashiers, which is less expensive. Moreover, robots do not require holidays. From above reasons, we know that some jobs will be replaced by robots.

Alternatively, there are some jobs that can never be replaced by robots since the skills required are irreplaceable. Robots will not be able to take over jobs that require humanity, which was being developed through every one's personal experience and interaction with other people growing up. Such as psychological consultants and professors and doctors. Robots will never achieve what took human being many thousands of years of evolution to achieve.

Some people believe it is very likely that jobs require human resource will be overtaken by robots. Whereas, jobs that require certain and complicated skills need human intelligence and efforts. Ultimately, it is clear that very less human jobs will be safe because of the increase of artificial intelligent robots from now on.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Cause and solution to the over-all happiness of the youth [4]

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In some countries, young people are not only richer but also safer and healthier than ever before. However, they are less happy. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

The key to happiness

The younger generation is considered living in a more prosperous, safer and healthier society than their forefathers in several countries. Nevertheless, they do not seem to be more satisfied with their lives.

First, the numbers of people with mental illness have increased over the past decades due to the ever-changing nature of technology. Technology brought convenience but also exploding information to our lives. The youth are expected to keep up the pace and double what they can do in a 24-hour day, which can be very overwhelming. Second, even though social media platforms have their benefits, using them too regularly can make you feel unhappy and alienated. Many teens spend too much time trying to take the perfect photo of spots they visited, meanwhile not really enjoying themselves by witnessing it with their own eyes.

In my opinion, the key to happiness is to build relationships with others. Put away the phones at dinner tables and morning coffee with your family and friends. Happiness is a collective phenomenon and is contagious. Also, do what you are passionate about, ask yourself what the one thing in life is you have to achieve that makes everything else unnecessary then go for it. When you do what you're most passionate about, you are developing your potential and contributing to overall well-being, which is self-actualization in Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

In conclusion, although human behavior has changed dramatically over the years, the principles of being content has yet changed. The pursuit of happiness is in our own hands. We are the architect of our own life.