Undergraduate / 'The Grameen Bank' - Stanford Supplement - Intellectual Vitality [5]

So this is my essay for Stanford University.
It feels a little rough on the edges but I need some input.
All helpful comments are welcome and thank you in advance.

There are an infinite number of things out there in the world that are interesting and I have only seen and stumbled upon a small amount. This next generation will be facing many projected and unforeseen challenges. In my environmental science class, our teacher is very active in making the environment a better place to live. He is always telling us about these new solutions that people around the world have found.

One of these solved challenges that he showed us was about eliminating poverty with micro loans. The micro loan idea began when Professor Yunus started using it in Bangladesh. The poor in the surrounding area could never obtain loans because they had no collateral. They, however, needed little money to start a small entrepreneurship. Yunus took the chance and loaned some of his money and was surprised at the results. The poor had very high rates of repay. Yunus' idea soon transformed into the Grameen Bank.

Currently, the bank boasts a 97% rate of recovery of loans! Many banks would do anything to have this high of a rate, especially during these rough times. This topic got me thinking of all the good that this would do for developing countries. Not only would everyone be rising in living standards, the countries economies would rise too.

Another curious statistic was that 97% of the borrowers were women. In the environmental class, we learned that the key to ending poverty was rights for women. The Grameen Bank is doing just that. It is giving women the chance to earn their own money and become educated.

This whole subject was very intriguing to me and I have only glanced the surface of the topic.

Undergraduate / Common Application: My sister [4]

This is my common application essay on the topic of my choice.

I think the organization is a little wacky but I am not sure how to change it so that it flows well.

Any helpful comments are appreciated.

Guuururururrrrur. I heard and felt the garage door open, which signaled the arrival of my parents from work. I quickly ran up the staircase, two or three at a time, and grabbed all of my toys. I rushed them to my closet as if I was an ambulance heading to the hospital. I ran into the living room just as my parents were taking off their shoes.

Today was just like any other day, except for one small thing. My mom propped a black bag up against a stool and placed a can of powder on the counter. Thoughts flashed through my mind as I asked, "Hey, mom, what's that stuff for?"

"Oh, it's just for the new baby."
My mind became completely passive as I said, "Cool." At the time, this was something that did not affect me and this event had soon left my mind. But, now, six years later, I have yet to realize the complete impact that my sister has had on my life.

Our relationship isn't normal by any means but that's part of what changed me and part of what I love about her and having a new presence in my life. She is 12 years younger than me and she will grow up in a completely different generation than I did. I will have to accept her unique personality yet guide her through her young world that I am only slightly familiar with at the same time.

Adjusting to this new responsibility has taken determination and full blown stubbornness. Many times, I was left in charge of her and it became my responsibility to keep her safe and comfortable. I gradually learned numerous caretaking skills that I had not been aware of before. Her birth has been a challenge with many hard times. Along with babysitting her, my parents will ask me to send her various out of the way places. My sister participated in a play that had practice everyday for a few hours. I was very dismayed to hear that I would not only escort her there but also stay. I made the decision to be there for her because I want her to have the best childhood ever. Still, there have been the good times, such as telling her all of the cheesy jokes I learned from elementary school, and I am happy that she is in my life and here in this world.

When I look at her as I am writing this, I cannot imagine my life with out her. She has completely changed me as a person and I have grown more mature because of her need to be taken care of. I became a role model and watched my language and movements in her presence so that she would have an example to follow. Sometimes I don't do everything right but I try my best to share with her all of the things I experienced as a little kid, even if that includes "cooties," is so fun. As she continues to learn things about the world, I will always be there to support her.

The many things I have learned while being around her and taking care of her will be very useful in my future. I should be the one passing words of wisdom of life to her, yet she has taught me patience and, of course, developed my maturity in only 6 years! These are the qualities that I rely on, this and my love for my sister.

Undergraduate / Boston University-Me in 3 words [5]

So the topic is: In an essay of no more than 500 words, please select three words that describe you best and tell us how you will use these qualities/characteristics to contribute fully to the BU community.

Any constructive comments will be highly appreciated and thanks in advance

Being asked to pick only three words to describe the type of person I am is a very belaboring task. Ever since I was able to speak and understand other people, my parents have raised me to be a good person. They have been able to make a person that is hardworking, responsible and polite.

As the first born, my parents pushed me to excel and achieve my potential. I went through countless numbers of worksheets in elementary school in addition to the school homework. My parents assigned me workbooks during the summer to keep me busy. I remember those hot, sweaty days frantically trying to work through what my parents had assigned to me. Without my parent's persistence, I would not have become the hard worker I am. Even though they no longer have to watch me, I have retained a hard working character. With everything that I do, I try my best with what I have to achieve the best results.

Along with being a hardworking person, I believe myself to be a responsible person. To be a hard worker, I must also be responsible. I will not be able to get much stuff done if I do not hold myself responsible for my action, or lack of action. School takes up much of the time during the year. In order to excel in academics, I do my best to organize my time for maximum efficiency. This includes not leaving everything to the last minute. Organization of time allows more time for me to then do activities that I like, for example playing basketball with my friends. Being a responsible person also means taking responsibility for the things that go wrong. A person that can not take responsibility for his or her actions is neither dependable nor responsible.

Politeness, a quality often times underestimated in value, is another characteristic that my parents instilled in me. Although my politeness leads many to see me as quiet, I am only trying to give respect to my peers and elders that they deserve. Everyday I see the younger generation's respect decreasing, and without politeness, they lose a valuable asset.

These three qualities and characteristics are the ones that I feel best describe the person I am. They may only be three, but they will help me contribute to the Boston University community. I will pursue excellence in my schooling and serve the local community in my stay. These qualities will help me portray the excellence at Boston University to the rest of the world.

Undergraduate / UC Essay #1:My world, an Asian American [4]

Please comment on my essay. Thanks in advance

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

The world that I come from is one merged with others and yet is one that is isolated and my own. On the outside looking in, I am an Asian American that is one of the first generation to grow up in the United States. My parents are Chinese and they moved here for a better life. I am the oldest of three siblings and carry the heaviest burden now that I am applying to colleges. I attend Skyline High School and am part of the International Baccalaureate program. Looking deeper, things get more complicated.

The parents that I have push me to new heights. They brought me up with a good work ethic and one motto that may sound silly: Work now, play later. This constant pushing and shoving by my parents has sometimes been hard to deal with, especially when they put too much work on my plate. They have recently disagreed with me on my undergraduate major. It was very hard for me to change and make a compromise, but I know that the only thing they want is a better life for me. It is times like this that I am grateful for their contribution to my life.

One of the groups of people I know I could not live without are my friends. Everyday they give me that boost of happiness that makes life dynamic. They provide that crucial outlet in addition to my parents. My friends have shaped my world as well. Many of my friends that graduated last year give me an idea of where I want to be. They set an example for me that I can strive to reach. Also, my friends in my grade are very competitive. I know that in every class they bring their best. This motivates me to work harder and harder.

The world that I come from is one that is filled with family and friends, and sadness and happiness. The world around me has transformed me into who I am and has contributed to the qualities that I carry. They have greatly influenced my dreams and changed how I want to live my life.