Undergraduate / U-Chicago Free Prompt AND Yale Secondary Essay! - Can I use it for both? :D [10]

Hi guys! Since I randomly decided to apply to 12 schools after getting my rejection, I am trying to be as efficient as possible and not write multiple essays for each school. Since both Yale and UChic have free prompts, I decided to write just one for each. So here it is. I also included the prompts - I would really love to know if my essay is appropriate for both. Thank you!

(Also, please critcize generally as well - i.e. grammar, structure, meaning..etc)
:)

U-Chicago

Essay Option 5. In the spirit of adventurous inquiry, pose a question of your own. If your prompt is original and thoughtful, then you should have little trouble writing a great essay. Draw on your best qualities as a writer, thinker, visionary, social critic, sage, citizen of the world, or future citizen of the University of Chicago; take a little risk and have fun.

YALE

You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, the Short Answer, and the Personal Essay. While we leave the topic of your second essay entirely up to you, try telling us something about yourself that you believe we cannot learn elsewhere in your application. Please limit yourself to fewer than 500 words.

It was only the second day of summer and the first day of my long-craved research internship when I found myself sitting in the Yale emergency room with an exposed knee, cursing the narcissistic summer sun and the crowded sidewalk and the aesthetically distracting jewelry the woman in front of me wore and the oncoming New Haven traffic and the scientifically illogical height to which the pavement is raised. Since growing up, this was my first fall.

In high school, I have succeeded in holding the reputation "Super Asian" among my fairly homogeneous peers in Fairfield County, which makes me proud of not only my accomplishments but also my ethnicity. Need someone to cover a shift for the Perch Burst? Looking for a flautist to play for the orchestra in the Candlelight concert? Seeking mental support after the AP Bio test last period? Done. Done. Done. The Super Asian will come your way and save the day. Although I am gratified in knowing that many people identify me as their 911, I am even more appreciative of their understanding for the effort I put behind my academic work and the compassion I place in my relationship with others despite that these things might only loom under the surface of superficial triumphs. In academic life, others have seen me standing at ease with practiced resilience against typhoons of bad weeks and lost student government elections, refusing to let myself to fall. However, I have a secret: I used fall, and I used to fall a lot.

One advantage of moving from one continent to another is that my past no longer defines me unless I purposefully introduce it into my new life. I never had the heart to mention the reasons for the layered display of scars on my knees. But here is the truth: I was not born able to sit and read through Faulkner and understand, to the best of my meager ability as a non-native English speaker, his wild prose. Nor is it an innate ability to learn Bach's Polonaise on flute and perform it the next day to an audience. However, I am gifted with a talent for falling since birth. Before I learned how to walk, I fell even by rolling off the bed. After I learned how to walk and run, I fell ever more. I cannot recall one childhood memory that does not involve some form of falling, a consequence of either reckless play or self-exploration. Falling allowed me to measure my capabilities and expand my potential by experimentation. In other words, Super Asian's super power is not the ability to ace math tests, but the desire to fall.

As I let myself sink deeper into my education, I no longer remembered to give myself the freedom to fall. It was not until that sunlit day and that awkwardly angled sidewalk when I rediscovered the delicate grace and momentary weightlessness of a human body as it gives into the pull of gravity. That day, I walked out of the ER without band-aids and packets of antibiotic cream. I walked out with a brand new scar, a throbbing reminder of how I used to fall.

Undergraduate / Why Chicago? Supplement - how does UChic satisfy desire for learning =) [4]

This is a draft so I am open to all suggestions. Thank you!

Question 1. How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to Chicago. ( a paragraph or two)

To me, college should be an intellectual frontier with an abundance of possibilities for exploration and growth, where I may discover new interests and enthusiasm whilst continuing to pursue my incipient passions. The liberal arts curriculum at University of Chicago, as well as its Common Core, offers wide spectrum of academic disciplines that would sufficiently satisfy my raw and sincere passion for learning. As someone who is interested in pursuing medicine, I would not only want to have a concrete background in biological studies but also in contemporary philosophy to deepen my appreciation for the humanities subjects. To complement this educational ambience in which learning is the top priority, University of Chicago is enlivened by a mosaic student body that comes from diverse backgrounds, which fulfills my desire for cultural heterogeneity in an undergraduate college. University of Chicago is an intellectual community that would not only allow me to interact with students who share my excitement to learn but also provide me with the opportunity to become an addition to this community with my own strengths and flair.

In the spirit of the quarter system University of Chicago has pioneered, I wish to take advantage of the tightly compact schedule and let my very spongy brain absorb as much as it can while allowing it to participate in the myriad of social options Hyde Park and Chicago provide. As an adventurous learner, I also seek to apply what I know. As I further develop my passion for biology by majoring in Biological Sciences at University of Chicago, I hope to engage in the ample undergraduate research programs the Biology Sciences Collegiate Division offers. I hope that University of Chicago will provide me with a cozy intellectual home for the next four years, where both the eager learner and the driven realist within me will feel content at heart.

Undergraduate / Cornell Supplemeent - Intellectual Interests at College of Arts and Sciece =) [4]

Hi! I actually really need a lot of help with this one because it is kinda of awful and I know it is awful and I am really hoping that it would make sense. Any constructive criticism is appreciated :)

Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study (less than 500 words)

I go to a school that does close its doors to students with genetic disabilities, and I have witnessed these students' unwavering courage and come to sympathize with their everyday distress for the past three years. Contrary to the stereotype, they are not unhappy individuals. In fact, most of them are quite social despite their speech impediments, and they love to share their weekends with anyone who cares enough to ask. They overcome the difficulties Down's syndrome brings with focused determination, and nothing stands in the way between these individuals and the world - except for a mere frameshift mutation in a strand of DNA or nondisjunction of a set of chromosomes during meiosis. However, they should not have to spend the extra effort so that they could have the same opportunities as those who are born "perfect" have. Having been inspired by their vitality and perseverance, I have decided to pick up the armaments of science and fight with them.

Our entire existence is essentially dictated by the arrangement for four nitrogenous bases. One mistake in this arrangement might spoil the entire protein, and this one protein can potentially devastate an entire system. Shortened life expectancy, repressed immune system, and hindered brain development all result from genetic mutations that the scientific community still does not know how to combat. I am drawn to the alluring mysteries of the genetics, and the human frailty under the manipulation of such minute events that are completely out of conscious control. The students with genetic disabilities have inspired me further to pursue biology in my future years, and I hope that one day I may make a difference in the lives of others who suffer from any genetic disease in my mutation-free existence, and I seek to take my first step into this battlefield in the College of Arts and Science at Cornell University.

As a student I am an eclectic learner who is motivated mainly by the raw and sincere passion for expanding my intellectual caliber. In my high school career, I have never had a "favorite subject," and I wish to continue this trend in the College of Arts and Science, where I will be able to merge several academic disciplines into my education. Even though I have chosen to pursue genetics and biology, the liberal arts education that the College of Arts and Science offers will equip me with not only with a concrete background in biological studies but also in the humanities to deepen my appreciation for the arts. Furthermore, only at the College of Arts and Science will I be able to conduct undergraduate research whilst engaging in stimulating classes that will challenge my intellectual capacity. I hope to become an addition to the Cornell College of Arts and Science is an intellectual community where students are not only diverse in their cultural backgrounds but are also open-minded in their academic pursuits.

(483 words/500)

Undergraduate / Johns Hopkins Supplement - Yay Genetics! [3]

Hi! I finally got around to writing my JHU supplement and here's the product, ta-da! However I am not sure if it answers the question fully and whether it is an answer they look for. Any constructive criticism, particularly on structure and grammar, will be much appreciated. Thanks and happy snow! :)

Also, I would like to know if it is extensive enough...it is kinda on the short side, approximately 335 words. But they did say "brief," right? Or is this tooo brief?

Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this supplement, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experiences influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)

Our existence is essentially dictated by the arrangement of four nitrogenous bases. One mistake might spoil the entire protein, and one defective protein can potentially devastate an entire system. Shortened life expectancy, repressed immune system, and hindered brain development all result from genetic mutations that the scientific community still does not know how to combat. I am drawn to the alluring mystery of the genetics, and the human frailty under the manipulation of such minute events that are completely out of conscious control. Although as a student I am an eclectic learner who is motivated mainly by the raw and sincere passion for expanding my intellectual caliber, I wish to concentrate my academic pursuit on Biology at Johns Hopkins University. The Krieger School of Arts and Science offers not only a large selection of biological courses, but also a wide spectrum of genetics courses that will deepen my understanding of gene regulation and chromatin transcription, two topics of biology by which I am especially intrigued.

I go to a school that does not turn down students with disabilities, and I have sympathized with their everyday distress and witnessed their unwavering courage for the past three years. They are not unhappy individuals. In fact, most of them are quite social despite their speech impediments, and they love to share their weekends with anyone who cares enough to ask. Some of them attend normal classes like other students, while others feel more comfortable in a special classroom the school has designated for them. Regardless of their environment, they overcome the difficulties Down's syndrome brings with focused determination. Nothing stands in the way between these individuals and the world - except for a mere frameshift mutation in a strand of DNA or nondisjunction of a set of chromosomes during meiosis. However, they should not have to spend the extra effort so that they could have the same starting point and the same opportunities as those who are born "perfect" have.

These students have inspired me further to pursue Biology in my future years. I hope that one day I may make a difference in others who suffer from any genetic disease with my mutation-free existence. Those who are born with genetic defects compensate for their disabilities with tremendous resilience and strength. They fight for the opportunities that others take for granted, and having been inspired by their vitality, I wish to fight for them. I hope to take the first step of this meaningful battle by majoring in Biology at Johns Hopkins University, where I believe I will certainly find the arms of science.

Undergraduate / Northwestern Supplement - Why Northwestern? [4]

Hey! Basically I just wrote this entire thing not knowing what the anticipated length should be and where I should go, but this is the end product. Any constructive criticism is welcomed, and thank you so for reading! :)

What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

As a seventeen year old girl, I have had my share of traveling. Having lived in three different countries on two different continents divided by the Atlantic Ocean, my life has been enriched by both eastern and western cultures. Moving has never troubled me, and instead of lamenting what I must leave behind, I celebrate the adventures that await me. As a high school senior who desires to leave the familiar east coast in the pursuit of a new habitat, I hope to spend the next four years of my life at Northwestern University, aptly named for the frontiers it represents in higher education.

To me, college should offer an abundance of possibilities for exploration and growth while still allowing me to pursue my existing passions and enthusiasm. The Weinberg College of Arts and Science offers a wide spectrum of academic disciplines and intellectual opportunities that would without a doubt satisfy my raw and sincere passion for learning. In its liberal arts curriculum, I will be able to merge several academic disciplines into my education. As an undergraduate student, I would be able to take courses in the Biological Studies major such as "Biology of Cancer" and "Mind and Brain" while taking classes unrelated to science such as "Gender Studies for a Small Planet" and "Evolution of Moral Systems". As someone who is interested in pursuing medicine, I would not only need a concrete background in biological studies but also a comprehensive appreciation for the humanities subjects. At the same time, Northwestern is also a pre-professional school that places a lot of emphasis on life beyond college. The balance between undergraduate studies and pre-professional development would nudge me in the right direction and equip me with well-rounded education I need to succeed in the Information Age world we live in today.

Furthermore, Northwestern University has a highly diverse student body. The reason I prefer to never stay in one place for too long is so that I would not miss out on chances to meet people who have had different life experiences than my own. At Northwestern, such individuals are concentrated in one single campus, and this myriad of cultural heterogeneity will complement and enhance my educational experiences.

My own travels have shaped me into someone who continuously seeks the next frontier. At Northwestern University, I would not only be able to receive an education filled with endless possibilities but also benefit from the exciting dynamic created by the rich life experiences of those around me. I eagerly anticipate the day on which I, too, can join the cultural mosaic on the Northwestern University's intellectual frontier, and mark my territory on the Rock.

Undergraduate / Why Yale Supplement essay - (community is dynamic and eclectic) [10]

Hey guys! Here's my WHY YALE essay. It is kinda weak due to character limit but it would be great if you could let me know if there's anything I can do to make it better. Thanks so much! :)

What in particular about Yale has influenced your decision to apply? Please limit your response to the space provided. (500 characters)

In the Yale community it is not odd to have two opposite passions or juggle everything at the same time. This summer when I held a research internship in a laboratory in the Immunology Department, the Yale students I met could not pinpoint one favorite course because they loved their schedules. As a Yalie, I would be able to balance my pursuit of medicine with a broad liberal arts background. Yale will equip me with the education I need while still allowing me to embrace my individuality.

Undergraduate / The environmental field, Brown - what academic field are you interested in? [4]

This is the one I wrote in a rush. it would be great if someone could give this a look since the grammar is icky and I am not sure how to fix it. THANK YOU so much :)

Why are you drawn to the academic fields you indicated in the Anticipated Degree and Academic Interest questions above? (1000 characters)

Today, the world population is estimated at 6,800,000,000, and I make up for only one individual out of such an immense and growing denominator. Because one human life can seem so infinitesimal, I have set for myself the goal to find the proof of my existence. When I realized my passion for Biology, I also realized that medicine would allow me find such proof because a doctor's single decision could influence the lives of many. A career in medicine would also lead me to meet people whom I would never meet otherwise. This is especially appealing to me because I am fascinated by lives other than my own. Another field which I am equally interested in is environmental science. Being someone who holds a spiritual obsession with nature, I see it as my personal mission to combat anything that might threaten its fragile beauty. To become more learned in the environmental field would equip me with the knowledge I need to save the world one plant at a time, and encourage others to do the same.

Undergraduate / Why Brown Essay (no personal connections with Brown) [6]

I am afraid this might be too generic, but I am reluctant to actually research particular professors and classes since I feel like that would almost be lying. It is really not because I'm lazy but because its not the professors and classes that appeal to me but the spirit of free curriculum. But anyway, it would be really great if someone can give this a read and let me know if it's ok. Thanks so much! :)

Please tell us more about your interest in Brown: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply? (1000 characters)

I have no personal connections with Brown. Neither of my parents went to school in the U.S., and I have no siblings. My search for college solely depended on the information I could gather and what I saw when I visited. Certainly, Brown qualifies as what everyone calls a "prestigious institute". Without a doubt, Brown hosts a student body of the most talented, the most driven, and the most genuine. But what I saw at Brown constitute not only of all those things but the ambiance of freedom and responsibility, a seemingly paradoxical education system that allows maturation and growth with little boundaries. The balance between independence and guidance would allow me to thrive and create my own niche, while keeping me on track so that I will be ready for the approaching future. Brown is an intellectual community that would not only allow me to interact with students who share the raw and sincere passion I have for learning but also give me the liberal arts education tailored to my dreams