Writing Feedback / Hard choice - neither between life and death nor between love and freedom, but between truth and lie [5]

Dear guys,I'm going to attend to a SAT exam soon and I really hope that you can help me with my SAT essay writing.Here is my practicing essay.Please give me some advice.By the way, I always don't know how to write a good ending. Can you guys give me a example? Appreciate a lot....

Assignment: What two options are the most difficult to choose between?

The most difficult choice is neither between life and death nor between love and freedom, but between truth and lie. Although I have to admit that it really takes a lot of courage to decide to die when one still have chance to live and it is harder to give up one's beloved to pursue the mental world of freedom, it is the choice of insisting on the truth that takes the greatest bravery.

Louis Pasteur is such an example who bravely challenged the majority's opinion in order to hold the truth. Before him, people commonly believed that life comes directly from the lifeless matter. This theory is called spontaneous theory which was synthesized by Aristotle, the unshakable authority at that time. Hence, people from common ones to experts all deeply believed in this theory. However, Pasteur threw doubt on this commonly believed theory after conducting a series of experiments. Seeing is believing. What was shown in the experiments definitely disproved Aristotle's old theory. Here came the choice. He could publish the result of his discovery to insist on the truth or support the old wrong theory to lie to his heart. If he chose the first one, there would be lots of critics waiting for him. No one will exactly know what those crazy people will do who championed the spontaneous theory for so many years. His friends even warned him about the quagmire lain on the endless truth chasing path. On the contrast, if he chose the latter one, he will suffer from the torture of consciousness instead of the one from others. Finally, he decided to choose the first choice. Pasteur publicized his discovery in 1864 and brought a controversy immediately. Countless people found fault with Pasteur's experiments but soon people gradually were persuaded by the fact of the experiments. Because of this choice, Pasteur became one of the founders of the microbiology.

Unlike to choose death or freedom, people never know what they will get after holding the truth. Perhaps one can earn famous during his or her life time, like Louis Pasteur, or he or she can be punished to die without understanding from other people. For instance, Giordano Bruno donated his life to pursue the truth. While at his contemporary, he was considered as a heretic because his belief of Copernican model offended the authority of the Catholic Church. In the end he was burned at the stake by civil authorities in 1600. Still lucky, his idea was understood by several people and recorded in text form so that his descendants could recover his opinion and memorize him forever. And those people who had no supporters for their persistence or did not record their opinion would be forgotten by generations.

In conclusion, either pursuing truth or giving in to lie needs plenty of bravery to chose. However, we have to make decision between them.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL- money for children - they don't have the ability to keep their money safe [5]

Toefl-Do you agree that in order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age?

It is true that letting children learn to manage their own money at young age can drive them to develop the ability of management. While, personally I believe that children are too young to manage their money on their own.

First of all, children do not have the ability to keep their money safe. They are still on the stage of learning knowledge and they can hardly tell what is right or wrong. Therefore, they are easily be cheated. My nephew was deceived by a cheater recently. The cheater sold him a bunch of beans and told him that they were magic beans. At that time, he happened to read this story and was attract by the plot extremely so that he can hardly tell whether the story is reality or fantasy. He believed in what the cheater said and used all of his pocket money to buy those "magic" beans. What's more, they are also too weak to protect money. Many robbers hang around schools to rob those vulnerable children.

Furthermore, children are not mature enough to spend their money wisely. With the development of technology, there are more and more kinds of entertainments, such as movies, music discs, and video games...These products of entertainments always have colorful advertisement and attractive outlook so that children can not help spending lots of money on these useless things. Besides, these entertainments will also distract their concentration and make their grade slip down. If adult hold children's financial power, they will spend these money on different area like reference books, sports equipment and so on.

Besides, I don not think that children should have financial pressure when they are so young. They should enjoy their carefree childhood. And they should pay more attention on their study instead of their money. If children do not have knowledge, they will find no way to earn money and, of course, nothing to spend with their intelligent financial management.

In conclusion, children do not reach enough age to manage their money so they should not be required to do so.

Thank you for your advice!

Writing Feedback / Important as classes and libraries are for students, health and social skills are also the keys [5]

TOEFL-Do you agree that at universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support?

Important as classes and libraries are for students, health and social skills are also the keys for them to successes. Some people may ignore the importance of sports and social activities because they are irrelevant to their scores. As a social animal, however, people's ability are not only presented by grades but also shown by practical application.

Sports and social activities are good for our health, both physical and spiritual. Doing sports can keep people fit so that they can study more efficiently. My friend Tom has got such a great progress in study since he joined a surfing club. Surfing made him stronger and smarter and now many girls prefer to consult him about study. As for social activities, people can get rid of the pressure of study and make some friends who can share the same interest with them. Providing enriched recreational activities, sports and activities can make people healthier and happier.

What sports and social activities teach people cannot be replaced by knowledge from books. Sports can show us the importance of persistence. Last year, it took me a great courage to take part in a marathon competition and it took me greater bravery to finish it. The process was really painful because I could see neither the end nor hope. From this experience I realized that as long as we are persisting, we will be definitely successful. And social activities can how us how to communicate with other people. Thus, sports and social activities are really good teacher for our life study.

Classes and libraries, certainly, are still indispensable. Knowledge of the books is easy to get so study in classes and studying in libraries is more convenient than studying through sports and social activities. If people want to get more improvement during the period of universities and colleges, they should regard the two methods as equal and combine these two ways. Therefore, sports and social activities should regard as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL-Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are? [5]

TOEFL-Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are?

It is true that some products' advertisement describe them objectively, while most of time advertisers dramatize those normal products. The reason is that exaggerated advertisements make products far better than they really are.

Some advertisements use noticeable words to attract people's attention and most of them use hyperbole. For instance, there is a chocolate slogan that "If you eat the chocolate you will enjoy the happiness of falling in love". This slogan is absolutely impossible. People can feel sweet when they eat the chocolate but this feeling cannot be compared with the feel of love. Another example of a washing powder, Tide, can also justify my statement. It is publicized that there is a Tide, and there is no dirty. My mother was impressed by this slogan and bought one. The result was that this kind of washing powder can not make clothes as clean as what it is publicized.

Other advertisements use magnified and colorful pictures to increase people's willingness of shopping. When people hang in the supermarket, they can find various shining package on the products. And the pictures printed on the packages are totally different with the products inside. The most typical example is the advertisement of instant noodles. On the picture, the advertisers depict a bowl of delicious noodle with fresh vegetable and great amount of meat or shrimp. When people open the wrap, however, only a few dehydrate vegetables and dry noodles are shown in front of them. Where is the meat advertised in the picture? It just a method to make the products looks better.

What's more, the most influential advertisements are depended on famous people. By the influence of those famous people, consumers totally believe in what they say. Icons say this product is more efficient then it is definitely more useful. Some people use this method to make medicine commercials and this behavior has much negative influence on the society: many medicines advertised by famous people were attested to be unqualified. Although these medicines are not high quality, once they beautify advertisement, they will become panacea.

Therefore, advertisement can really make products seem perfect. We should open our eyes to justify whether they are good by ourselves.

Undergraduate / There is no doubt that human beings are not omniscient or omnipotent, authorities also make mistakes [2]

There is no doubt that human beings are not omniscient or omnipotent. Thus, it is common for people to make mistakes. Some of the mistakes made by authorities may even restrain the development of science or the improvement of an enterprise. Challenge people who in authority will minimize the errors.

The French chemist and microbiologist Louis Pasteur challenged the ancient theory of spontaneous generation. Before Pasteur stepped into this area, his friends warned him that the quagmire of spontaneous generation had trapped many scientists. However, regardless of the warning, Pasteur undertook several experiments designed to address the question of where these "germs" came from.

At first, Pasteur heated a flask which contained particular solution to violent boiling and then sealed the neck of it in a flame. The results cast doubt on the theory of spontaneous generation. However, his critics thought that heating made the air in the flask unfit for spontaneous generation. Pasteur argued in vain even before the Academy of Science.

After many experiments which demonstrate Pasteur's idea but not convincing enough to his adversaries, Pasteur still didn't give up the challenge to the authority. At last, he invented a long curve neck flask, which could prevent microbes without seal the flask. As a result, the fluid remained sterile for a long time. Therefore, he finally repudiated the theory of the authority and alleged that life comes only from life.

Another exact example is Jack Welch. He was the CEO of the General Electric between 1981 and 2001. By challenging the authority, Jack Welch took on a series of new measures to make GE the most valuable and largest company in the world.

Welch worked to eradicate perceived inefficiency. He executed many strict measures, such as shutting down redundant factories, reducing payrolls and cut lackluster old-line unit. Moreover, to guarantee the quality and the work enthusiasm of the employees, each year, Welch will fire the bottom 10% of his managers. As for the top 20% managers, they will get a good reward. By this way, Welch can control all of the employees push them to work harder to GE.

Through the data, we can conclude that Jack Welch's new idea has contributed a lot to GE. The company had gone from a market value of 4 billion dollars to one of more than 410 billon dollars at the end of 2004.It was Jack Welch's brave challenging that inject healthy fresh blood to GE so that it can be so successful nowadays.

Therefore, if we want to achieve success like Louis Pasteur and Jack Welch, we should be questioners to cast doubt on the authoritative ideas bravely.