Writing Feedback / US marriage and divorce in 1970 and 2000. IELTS Task [10]

Hi Guys
I cannot find the electronic version for this essay's bar charts. is there anybody who can help me?

The two bar charts show the numbers of marriage and divorces in USA in 4 different years of 1970, 80, 90 and respectively 2000, and comparison of the marital statue of Americans in 1970 and 2000. As a holistic trend it can be seen that he the numbers of marriages in America slightly dropped during these years and a comparison between 1970 and 2000 shows that percentage of the bachelors and divorced persons has rose up.

According to the first bar chart, on one hand, the number of marriages ceremony during first period remains constant on 205 million marriages at year, then this number start to decline on the next two-time period from approximately 2.25 millions from 1990 to 2 millions in 2000. On the other hand, the numbers of divorces start to rise from 1 million in 1970 to 1.4 millions in 1980, then started to drop in 1.1 and later 1 million in 1990 and 2000, respectively.

As far as the comparison of the marital status of the American years 1997 and 2000 is concerned, the second bar chart shows that the majority of the American in both years were married and less remained bachelor. Although, in 1970 there were more married and widowed rather than 2000, the numbers of those did not try to marry or failed their marriage in 2000 have risen.

In conclusion, the bar charts show that that there is a slight decline in marriages and a modest up and down trend in number of divorces during this for time period, and in comparison with year 2000, in 1970 there were less married and widowed along with more bachelors and divorced people.

Writing Feedback / The new technology killed our traditions. [5]

Hi Guys
thank you in advance for your comments and suggestions
Cross your fingers for my next week IELTS Test
Aria

Q: When a country develops its technology, the traditional akills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

When it comes to the effect of new technologies on our traditional style, some people think it killed our older methods, while other consider our old tradition can remains and survives. I believe the most of our technologies are the continuous development of our traditional one and some of them can stay along with the new ones. Moreover, the traditional styles can survive, if have their recognized value.

Most of the time, the technological development in a country is not a new starting, and countries just try to improve their own way of production in a new method that have a faster speed. For example, Japan was and still is a one of the most important producer of products such as pearl or silk in the world. The new technology in these two goods helps the Japanese to keep up their production paces rather than modifying that.

Moreover, if a traditional method is not interfering with new technology, there is always chance to survive. In the market today we have different kind of some food products such as wine in 2 different ways of industrial scaled produced and homemade products. Each ones have their own consumers then both method of production can still be used.

At the end, both old-fashioned style and new style have their own market preferences. Sometimes the values of the traditional style could be far beyond of the newer method. For example, years ago some countries start to develop a new way to produce rugs by machine rather than man made ones. Despite the existence of those cheap machine made rugs, the handcrafted one still are more expensive but popular.

In a nutshell, the effect of technological developments on traditional methods cannot be significant, because, new technologies are modified traditional styles. The old styles can survive the market as long as they do not interfere with products of new technologies, and there are also some old-fashioned made products, which are more popular despite of their higher expenses.

Writing Feedback / Map of Garlsdon Town; industrial and residential sectors and facilities; IELTS [3]

The below scheme shows a detailed map of Garlsdon Town with its relations to different industrial and residential sectors and facilities, and 2 proposed locations for eventual supermarket in this town.

According to the map, the S1 site situated in the peripheral rural area of the town, while S2 site in Garlsdon town centre within a no traffic zone area.

S1 site is in proximity of Hindon city in its 12 km distance and 10000 populations, while the S2 site is in a way of Cransdon in its 25 km distance and Bransdon in its 16 km distance. The population for the Cransdon and Bransdon is 29000 and 15000 persons, respectively.

While the S2 site is situated in the half through way of the 2 main industrial zones in the Garlsdon town, the S2 site is close to one of these zones.

There is a main railway, which passes through the Garlsdon town, and both S1 and S2 sites have the same remoteness to this railway.

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  Map of Garlsdon
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Academic Writing Task 2: OPINIONS ABOUT GOVERNMENT FUNDING OF ARTISTS. [5]

Some people think that government should give financial support for creative artists such as musicians and painters. Others think that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People have different views on whether it is wise decision to spend public money for art and artists. Some believe that government need to invest on art, while others think they have other priorities such as health, education and security. Although, there are good arguments in favor of both views I believe investment on art should be done by both public and private supports.

Art is as an important element of the culture. As one of the government's legacies is to promote cultural promotion and its value in society, investment on art and those who create it is an important pace taken for that society. Government can develop facilities for education and training of artists, provide facilities for their performance or exhibitions, or invest on projects for creation of artistic products. In each country there are artifacts that are well known as national symbol, such as Eiffel Tower in France or Statue of Liberty in United States. Without public funding, creating of these monuments was on doubt.

On the other side of the debate, there are those who believe government has other important issues such as health, education, or security. Investing money on cultural issues before advancing on those essential priorities is just wasting the materials. Moreover, they also argue that the art is considered as a profession and artists like others who have jobs should find their own client and sell their products to those who are interested.

Put in a nutshell, there are good reasons in both sides of spending public or private money on art and artists, but I believe in an average society art as cultural element need to be supported by both public and private sectors.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 writing. Who should be responsible for subjects taught in schools? [6]

The subjects that children are taught in schools are decided by central authorities. Some people say that teachers, not politicians, should be responsible for this task. To what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Education is the key element in development of a society. As in most countries, the educational system and material presented in schools are planned by government. Some argue that it has to be the responsibility of the teachers, those who are involved in teaching of those courses and subjects. I am against this belief, because authorities have a better view of what we need for a growing economy and can provide plans which fit better for our economy. Moreover, a universal plan made by government can help us to proceed into the higher education level.

Those who govern our society have a better knowledge of what is beneficial and what is not for a prosperous economy. For education like other sectors they must have plans made by experts and educational specialist. The curriculum made by those experts guaranty that students who finish their school have their jobs and keep up with economic growth. For example an industrial country education system is focused more on what is necessary for its industry development. While curriculum planned by teachers may be at interest of teachers and do not help the society to reach its goals for economic prosperity.

The education system in a country needs to be common in whole country. Despite the subjects and courses in higher education, which are more specific and diversified, material taught in primary and high schools are more general. These subjects need to be the same in schools around the country, hence it covers all information required for the higher education. Therefore, all students in country fallow a common program and learn the same material which helps them in better way to continue their education in university.

In conclusion, although the government is not formed with those who teach at school, they can plan our educational system by experts in a way that to be more productive for our economy and provide an integrated and uniform system of education for a higher level.