Writing Feedback / [Ielts] effects of living longer for individuals and society. [2]

Pls help to check.Thank you all.

People are living longer but increased life expectancy has many implications for the aging individuals and for society as a whole .
What are the possible effects of longer living for individuals and society?

As a result of advancement in medical technology ,people nowadays are able to live longer than they used to be.However,the influences attended by the increasing life expectancy are becoming hot-bottom issues because both individuals and society are largely impacted in varied respects.

Obviously,individuals are the main beneficiaries of rising life expectancy.In fact,living longer provides them many advantages economically and spiritually.For example,elderly people nowadays are required to retire later because many countries are proposing to postpone the age of retirement due to the aging problems.That is to say,individuals are able to get more wages which help them to better the economic situation.Furthermore,living longer also offer people more chances to enjoy the lives or realize the plans that can not be achieved in the past.For instance,many elderly people tend to travel around after retirement,being a important way which helps to enrich the later years of life.

On the other hand,aging issues influence the society in different aspects as well,profitably and adversely.First of all,government benefits from these tendencies because more tax could be levied on from working elderly but pays less in pensions, which help to alleviate the financial strain of government.For the second,employers are able to develop faster as more people are engage in working position,besides that,old people tend to possess more experience in jobs,being brain powers for companies.Lastly,people do not profit from the aging problems without expenses.The increasing life expectancy bring into the other problems such as overpopulation,the tension of resources allocation and job unemployment,all of these are worsening the development of our society.

To conlclude,aging issues are continue to exert effects on entire human races,despite willing or not.Whether it would be beneficial or adverse for us is not yet to know and hinge on the efforts that the government would make.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS]should children be made to obey the rules? [4]

Not satisfied with this piece,pls help to correct and thank you all.

Some people say that children should be made to obey rules while other people think children who are controlled too much will not be well-prepared for their adult life. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

To identify a better method in education of children's behaviors,a frequent topic is in discussion on whether children should be regulated to obey rules.Some people think such obedience is necessary ,while others believe it would not benefit the children when they grow up.

Admittedly,the argument that children should be taught to obey rules is not groundless.This is because our society is running with a variety of rules and laws,and each individual needs to abide by rules to ensure the society would not be chaotic.That is to say,for the purpose of stablize society and make it function regularly,children need to be imparted with the sense of obey the rules in advance as a preparation before growing into working adults.

On the other hand,the conclusion of obedience does not assume that children should be overly controlled.In fact,excessive control might disadvantage children's development in several respects. The first one is asscioated with characteristic.For example,in some cases that students are required to wear uniform in school to achieve the conformity,this rule has largely suffocate the individualisms of children and suppress the creativity as well,because appearence or wearing is the way people express their charcter.Another drawback lies in the personality,those children who are raised under over control have poor ability to deal with the difficulty,and the reason for this might involve the overprotection from adults.These children need to obey the strict rules that parents provided to prevent them from hazard or going astray.However,children cultivated with such education are usually immature in psychology,finding it difficult to cope with the challenge in their future lives.

In brief,I think rules that settled to children should be flexible and they indeed need to obey those rules that associated with moral repect,as they play a pivotal role to ensure the stability of society.Therefore,excessive control is not necessary,because children should be given a freedom to develop their personality with the tempering of environment.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] increasing business and culture contact would lose cultural identities? [2]

(Pls help to correct,thank you all~~~~~)
Some people say the increasing business and culture contact between countries has positive effect while others say it would make countries lose their cultural identities.Do you agree or disagree?

As a result of globalization on business and culture,the whole human society has experienced significant change in their lives.Thus,some people think the influences attended by are beneficial to human being, while others claim it would lead to abandon of cultural identities.

The reason for these revolutionary changes might involve the scientific breakthrough and advancement of technology, and they enable the globalization exerts an advantageous impact on us in several respects. As for business, for example,nowadays many multinationals tend to establish a factory in developing countries, and as a result of that,it provide job vacancies to the local people which act as a solution to the unemployment,meanwhile,new equipments and technology of manufacture would be introduced, and all of these are in the interest of local society.Furthermore, the business contact between different countries have been immensely improved in efficiency via the modern technology like internet,therefore, international trade would be promoted to increase the foreign currency revenues that improve the economy for countries

Besides ,the advantages have in business,the global culture homogeneity has enriched our lives by appreciating a variety of culture. For instance,the enhanced TV connectivity allows us to watch the programmes created in other countries, and through the internet we are able to make friends from different nation ,so no one would deny that all of these have brightened up our daily lives to a large extent.

However,even if the cultural identities would be eroded by globalization, it would not be lost eventually because they are reflected everywhere in our lives in several respects such as language,mores,rites and so on.All of these have been integrated with cultural identities and instilled to us in a daily basis, therefore, these experiences are so powerful that override the influences of cultural globalization.

In conclusion,the increasing trend of globalization has exert positive effects on us, economically and culturally,and our cultural identities are too strong for its omnipresent in lives that can not be diminished.

Writing Feedback / [Ielts]anti-social behavior,why and solution.. [4]

Many people believe that today there is a general anti-social behavior and lack of respect for others.What might have caused this situation?How to improve it?

[Pls hep to correct...thanks much]

With the revolutionary change in the last half century, the entire human society has experienced great progress in varied respects beyond our wildest expectation, meanwhile, the problems of people's antisocial and losing respect of others also come up which are worried by the public. Overall, I think the modern life style and economic situation should be responsible for this, and affirmative measures need to be taken for solution.

There are several reasons in contribute to this phenomenon. Firstly, the fortune gap between the rich and the poor had been increasingly widen because of the advancement of technology, which give rise to the conflict and misunderstanding between wealthy people and the poor. Therefore, those people who suffered in poverty are more likely to express their anger and hatred in an anti social way. In the second place, individuals are vulnerable to the temptation of evil social information when they are inundated with the sense of aimless and blankness, as a result of that, they tend to misconduct for lacking the fundamental moral code and this is especially common in young people. Lastly, the accelerating development of economy should take a responsibility for leading to such occurrence. People nowadays are more likely to engage in making money rather than consider the other respect such as the enjoyment of life, the sense of money-oriented influence them gradually in moral degradation, which might enable individuals to commit a crime eventually.

This phenomenon is getting worse increasingly and we should take measures to prevent its exacerbation. Firstly, government should play a pivotal role to address the problem of economic inequality, for example, the fortune gap need to be narrow down by improving the social security and ensure it is adequate and coverall for people, also, a tax need to be levied on the affluent and assist the poor to create wealth. Secondly, education of ethical standards is very essential and should be instilled to individuals through daily life, which aims to help them in building up a strong value of morality. Last but not least, personal awareness on life constitutes considerable elements in dictating how we behave, people need to have a clear perspective on their life style, equipping themselves with moral compass and improve the quality of life physically and psychologically.

In brief, only when individuals develop themselves within a healthy way and hold a strong moral value, can the antisocial behaviors be decreased to some extent. Furthermore, governments should ensure the economic environment can be develop in a healthy style

Writing Feedback / Individual can do nothing to improve environment; only governments and companies can? [3]

Indiviuals can do nothing to improve the environment,only governments and large companies can make a difference.
To what extent do you degree or disagree?

[anyone could help tp fix it...I found I didn't discuss more about the company things after I finish...so pls correct my mistake and

advise me the degree of the essay and tell me what's the weak point. THX!]

Nowadays environmental issue has always been the social concern because the degree of eco-problems is getting increasingly severe. So some people think the efforts that individual make are useless in better off the environment but it would be great change if government and large company take measure in combating the environmental situation. Overall, I personally think the topic is overly simplistic.

Admittedly, government and large companies have played a pivotal role in improving environment. With the monitoring and supervision of government, the laws and policy related to protection of environment can be implemented effectively. Likewise, by the efforts those companies make, especially for the chemical corporations with factories that involve their manufacture and production in eco-system. It would benefit the environment as a whole if these companies ensure the abidance of eco-friendly policy.

However, reaching the conclusion that government and company can contribute largely does not assume that individuals have few efforts for environment advancement. My own view is that personal awareness and behaviors are the significant key point that in improving environment. For example, those garbage pervade over the city such as plastic containers, littering and even household waste disposal without sorting, are due to that individuals and families do not have enough awareness on environmental protection. It would be great improvement if all individuals are able to behave themselves in eco-friendly life style. Furthermore, in some cases the efforts which government make are rather restricted in terms of degree of activity relating to policy and law, therefore, the cooperation and supervision from individuals can help it practice better. Last but not least, my own view is that a negation in personal impact on environment is also a denial on government practice. Without individual's efforts, the government's measure would not be implemented effectively, and without guidance and supervision from government, a person would not be able to behave themselves appropriately in improving environment.

In conclusion I think individuals play a significant role in protecting of environment, because they are indispensible in any activities in any measure of improving environment.