yoyolo
Jun 2, 2011
Writing Feedback / Essay: Smokers can cause themselves serious health problems. [3]
Hello Dhammika,
I bet this is a IELTS essay and as a experienced IELTS student here are some suggestions:
1. Your first para is too long. Normally, we only need 2-3 sentences, which is the summary of your general opinion. However, your first para seems like a supporting idea.
2. Compared to your introduction, it is always better to write at least two sentences for the conclusion para.
3. The topic sentense of each para sometimes is a bit confusing. I am not a native speaker, BUT I am sure that you need to work on it.
Good luck to your IELTS.
Hello Dhammika,
I bet this is a IELTS essay and as a experienced IELTS student here are some suggestions:
1. Your first para is too long. Normally, we only need 2-3 sentences, which is the summary of your general opinion. However, your first para seems like a supporting idea.
2. Compared to your introduction, it is always better to write at least two sentences for the conclusion para.
3. The topic sentense of each para sometimes is a bit confusing. I am not a native speaker, BUT I am sure that you need to work on it.
Good luck to your IELTS.