lynnyang
Apr 18, 2012
Writing Feedback / IETLS GT 2: should there be free health services? [9]
hi Peterc, I feel like your essay is not very logical. THe task achievement part need to be improved. The topic is about whether health service should be provided free of charge.Your opinion in the first paragraph is very clear,but it seems that your argument is a bit confusing.
Here is my structure plan,you can have a look^^:
P1: intro+your opinion
P2: talk about the rationality about the opinion you disagree with: government should provide free medical service for many reasons: ...
a: advantage: benefits individuals economically -save money
b. adavantage2: benefits to the society: people can receive medical treatment in time-more healthy-high productivity
P3: Granted that this method has many merits, it also suffers lots disadvantages. Giving your reasons and examples to support this.
a.less payment of doctors -reduced working morale
b.latest medical treatment expensive-fail to benefit people
c.too much financial burden to the country
P4: conclusion
hi Peterc, I feel like your essay is not very logical. THe task achievement part need to be improved. The topic is about whether health service should be provided free of charge.Your opinion in the first paragraph is very clear,but it seems that your argument is a bit confusing.
Here is my structure plan,you can have a look^^:
P1: intro+your opinion
P2: talk about the rationality about the opinion you disagree with: government should provide free medical service for many reasons: ...
a: advantage: benefits individuals economically -save money
b. adavantage2: benefits to the society: people can receive medical treatment in time-more healthy-high productivity
P3: Granted that this method has many merits, it also suffers lots disadvantages. Giving your reasons and examples to support this.
a.less payment of doctors -reduced working morale
b.latest medical treatment expensive-fail to benefit people
c.too much financial burden to the country
P4: conclusion