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Posts by richard35568
Joined: Sep 27, 2011
Last Post: Oct 15, 2011
Threads: 6
Posts: 14  

From: Shanghai

Displayed posts: 20
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Oct 15, 2011
Writing Feedback / If children want to do well in school, parents should limit time of watching tv. [NEW]

this is my essay, pls check><

Since students' performances not only decides their future prospects, but also affects the development of the whole nation, we tend to focus on how to improve kids' performances

in their study. Parents and teachers have come up with tons of ways to imrove their grades, which invloces limiting the time of watching tv programs or movies.However, i doubt

whether the aforementioned statement bears much analysis as follows.

Admittedly, it's undeniable that some children do need the rule set by their parents to standardize the time of watching tv. Since sometimes toddlers and kids are hard to

control theirself, they become immersed in the cartoons or soap operas so easily. Hence, they don't have much time to finish their daily homework or online tests, which

definitely lower their grades at school. According to some official statistics, children who have poor performances at school are widely hooked with watching tv and playing video

games. Therefore, if parents pay attention to children's behavior at home and restrict their indulgence, it's less possible for them to do what they desire, so they won't waste

much time on purely having fun. On the contrary, without reducing time of watching tv or movies, these kids' grades will continue declinging dramatically.

However, to some other students who obtain good sense of self-control, no time limitation is necessary for them. These children believe they can learn knowledge and skills from

different tv programs or films instead of spending time on useless tv shows. They're inclined to watch programs such as National Geography which helps them to improve their scores

in geography or astronomy or movies like The Cove from which they realize the importance to maintain the balance between human and the nature. Likewise, these students know how to create a balance between study and play. As a phrase goes ' work hard, play hard', they utilizes their time and live their lives to the fullest. Hereby, parents won't bother

controlling their time, instead, they need to let their children determine how to arrange their schedule according to their willingness.

In conclusion, I can hardly consent to the standpoint mentioned before since children have different capability to control theirselves and varied methods should be introduced to

deal with different situations. Also, some tv programs do help a lot to increase children's scores!
Oct 10, 2011
Writing Feedback / When I grow up, I realize that the importance of politeness should be emphasized to a extent [3]

Go check my essay:) thanks a lot!

When i was a little kid, i was taught to be polite and well-mannered in dealing with different situations. When i grow up, i realize the importance of politeness should be emphasized to a extent.

Initially,politeness is a marvelous creature of civilization instead of an inborn characteristic. An infant will cry for food or of anger if his needs are not satisfied; somehow, we are all progressive and imprudent from the very beginning. However, with the development of society and improvement of humanity, we tended to realize to be nice to others is a distinct aspect different from animals. While laws and morality formed, we put more emphasize on how we behave appropriately. In ancient times, if people have problems with each other, they might end up pumping and bleeding. When it comes to the present, people will avoid the disputes and still smile at each other. In some degree, politeness improve us all.

Also, in our daily life, showcasing politeness frequently leaves good impression on others. According to statistics, the extreme politeness of japanese is the key to success in business world. To illustrate further, when I entered a japanese restaurant last time, server there showed particular good manner with a warming welcome and led me to my ordered table while asking me if i need to have my cellphone cleaned and sanitized. These professional and careful deeds leave a extraordinary image in my mind.

Admittedly, sometimes people are hard to control their tempers, which may leave a unpredicable outcome on others. From that moment, a sincere apology is required to smoothen the tight atmosphere. Despite the aforementioned, we should control our emotions and be polite to others come what may.
Oct 10, 2011
Essays / The experience of being a scout ; Eagle Scout rank [9]

well, i think you could write down some specific examples about how the boyscout experience reshaped ur personality and changed ur value system.
Also, google what quality of students that university need and illustrate related experience to meet that need.

g'd luck anyway!
Oct 10, 2011
Writing Feedback / More and more people are spending money on their pets, despite other expenses [NEW]

Really appreciate that if you have time to correct my essay! Thx!

/More and more people are spending money on their pets, even though there can be other good ways to spend money./

Since people are chasing for the better living standard, increasing people intend to keep pets to color their lives. However, others believe that people shouldn't spend much money on their pets, as there exist better ways to spend this money. As to me, i doubt whether the aforementioned statement bears much analysis.

It's undeniable that pets have always been helpful friends to human beings from the very beginning. Pets like dogs, from the stone age to the modern era, consistently take the roles as shepherds, watchers or guides. Nowadays, their roles become more distinct and significant. For instance, Labradors can lead the way for blind people to a safer zone ;they accompany their hosts to increase the quality of life of the disabled. To illustrate further, dogs play an essential role in boosting the intelligence of children. According to statistics, toddlers who spend much time with their dogs appear to solve and tackle more difficult problems then those who don't. Children turn to be motivated and inspired after they share time playing with their lovely creatures. Hence, it's worthwhile to spend money on pets.

Also, raising pets is a life-time responsibility to their host. People can not dispose the pets like a recycled can when they become tired of fostering them once they buy or adopt the pets. When they are sick, it's also important to take them to hospitals. In that way, cost on pets is of necessity.

Admittedly, there are people thinking if those money is imposed on the poor instead of pets, the outcome will be more pleasing. High-sounding as the statement seems, what if we save the costs on luxuries, tobaccos or wines to redress the skint? I'm convinced that, compared to these meaningless and harmful ways, spending money on pets embodies a better way to spend the money.

In a nutshell, never will the money be less to spend on the pets since there are numerous ways to waste the money and pets do help people in dozens of aspects.
Oct 6, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'An adventure to me' the advantages and disadvantages of living in a foreign country? [3]

...unfamiliar for(with) you...
...made a lot of fellows (friends)...
...improving fastly(fast)...
...especially for living place(places)...
...(a)foreign country ...
...Another disadvantage is (that) a person (needs)... by himself/herself ...esp for health
these are the basic probs of your essay
Oct 4, 2011
Writing Feedback / a serious and strict teacher is more effective than a teacher with humor? [4]

All are welcome to correct my essay! THX!

a serious and strict teacher is more effective than a teacher with humor?

Naturally, students tend to prefer teachers with great senses of humor and easy-going attitudes because they believe, under that circumstances, they can be more attracted toward the classes, therefore, to acquire knowledge to a better level. However, I hold a completely opposite view and I have several reasons to back up my statement.

Initially, great efficiency is produced by delicate and detailed schedules arranged by strict and serious teachers. With the clear objective of the class in mind, teachers usually arrange the whole classes into a well-designed task. Therefore, no extra time is allowed for joking or wasting since every minute is treasured to a great extent. This mode could already be seen in military where officers and commanders are extremely rigid on time-control of soldiers to achieve goals on battlefields. Since nowaday economy filled with depression and deflation is a battlefield to us where the goal is to seek a decent job and live on our own, strict control and management on students are required more than ever. Meanwhile, a piece of joke will spoil the tense atmosphere where the target of tremendous efficiency is almost reached, which is the second point I want to discuss.

Tight and tense environment created by rigid teachers do create the efficiency. Students are pushed to think creatively and hear carefully, otherwise, they can not catch up the progress and will be left behind. During the class, students will take notes in case vital information slips away. To illustrate this further, I remembered what the successful teacher's class in high school look like; while he was giving his lecture on schedule and performing in a strict manner, all the students raised their heads, put down their cell phones and tried their best to soak the knowledge. Students who are distracted by irrelevant events would be asked questions to continue focusing on their class. The great exam scores of that class were totally predictable.

Admittedly, we can't deny the relaxing atmosphere created by friendly teachers, nor can we ignore the positive reactions caused by funny jokes. However, despite the nice impressions of the teachers, students won't get the same amount of information as passed by rigid teaches. In conclusion, spectacular efficiency is obtained by serious teachers.
Oct 4, 2011
Writing Feedback / Toefl: Being happy with a job is more important than having a high salary [5]

There are TwO Main reasons
..."a justified compensation "which means?
...the majority of people ...--the majority
...they will easily feel dissatisFIED...
...because the patent of the new molecules IS taken by the company...( i dont really understand that case)
... one of the main reasons ...
...It does not take a genius to think that the current price level is increasing too Rapidly to control...(its bit weird)
...From the basic living necessary to educational expenses, the cost of every fundamental element for living keeps increasing?...

some sentences are hard to understand;)
Sep 29, 2011
Writing Feedback / combining and optimizing - 'improve the quality of the education in a country is to' [NEW]

well, this is my new essay, all are welcome to offer advice!;)

The best way to improve the quality of the education in a country is to increase teachers' salaries

I'm not thoroughly convicted by the statement that rising salaries tends to be the best option to ameliorate the quality of the education. There happened to be many other factors which can't be neglected contribute to the education while teachers' pay many only play an insignificant role. I have several reasons to back up my perspective.

First and foremost, facilities and equipments should be improved to cater to both teachers and student's needs. Access to abundant fixtures is required to create an academic atmosphere. Therefore, if there are not enough computers, libraries or labs, it won't be easy to make presentations, acquire knowledge or do experiments. For instant, the consistent lack of enough libraries in my university has definitely upsetted many students while doing researches and projects. This downside to a great extent procrastinated my school's improvement in the education.

Also, a sophisticated evaluation and assessment system for teachers should be established to reach a particular standard, which means, student exam score, paper quality, employment rate etc. should all be counted in as valuables in deciding teachers' performance. As a result, faculties will put much effort on their career to reach the regulations. The more emphasis they put on teach, the better outcome it demonstrates.

Last but not the least, the quality of the education likewise depends on the mutual cooperation and interaction. It is the willingness to cooperate rather than the unilateral endeavor that reaches to a progress. Hereby if a student shows no interest in a course, never will the teacher be capable of imposing information on him. There would be massive tortures for both to bear during the class. So in order to make a class more successful, school should focus on how to activate both so as to create a friendly atmosphere.

In a nutshell, only through combining and optimizing all the elements mentioned above would we facilitate the improvement. Rising salaries will motivate teachers but won't really help in a long run.
Sep 27, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'the nature of the advertising' - most advertisements make products seem much be [3]

Q: most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are

I strongly agree with this statement that advertisements do make products more attractive, in that case, they really arouse the impulsive, or even irrational consumer behaviors. I have several reasons to stand for my views.

Initially, essential reason concerning the nature of the advertising is that advertisers would make products more attractive than they really are. Such as the ads of shampoo, advertisers will show the golden, shining hair to indicate the great effect while in reality, shampoo will never make your hair so shiny. This exaggerating effect usually leaves unforgettable impression on potential consumers. While consumers shop in the supermarket, as they choose the ideal product for their hair, the advertisers reach their sales target.

Meanwhile, the impressive outcome showed in the advertisement is sometimes at the cost of hiding the weakness of the products. These merits demonstrated would somehow incline people to neglect the opposite part. I have already experienced this similar situation once, as I heard the Iphone 4 was so unique and designed for people of my age, I could help but buy it. Then I realized the problem that it have to be recharged everyday since the battery could only sustain around 8 hours. I was kind of frustrated and felt deceived somehow.

Consequently, some advisers would make up some fake information of the products to arouse the impulsive consumer behaviors. Their products are usually of bad quality or function which can't be matched to the advertisement. These dishonest behaviors is seriously against the law. Because of the prominent profits, fraud is committed against the moral standard. I remembered last time my mom paid 3000 dollar for the SPA service because she saw the advertisement accidently, unfortunately this SPA house turned out to be a normal beauty house with no spa at all. It left her really furious.

In conclusion, there are some downsides of the advertisement that really disappoint the consumers since they feel somehow deceived after purchasing the products. However, we can't ignore that sometimes, things we buy because of the promotion of the advertisement really satisfy us. Therefore, a win-win situation is created.