Undergraduate / Common App Essay ("The final decision was based on me.") [3]

Hello Everybody..

below is my response to the topic of your choice option of the essay ...

PLEASE .. help by diting it .. only 2 hours left>>... HELP

ThAnkS... and happy new YEAR!!!

The final decision was based on me. I would shape my future by making a decision myself. Having lived in India for sixteen years, it was not easy for me to make a decision to move to the U.S. within the next few days. "Should I go or not?", was the question in my mind during the last few days of my stay in India. Some serious thinking was required in making a decision. If I accept my dad's proposal of moving to the U.S. for higher studies, wouldn't I miss all my family members and friends with whom I spent sixteen years of my life? And if I don't accept the proposal, would I be missing the opportunity of the best education in the world?

I was tired of thinking and was totally confused. I picked up the phone and dialed my dad's phone number in the U.S. who works for the United Nations in New York. He picked it up and I asked him, "What would have you done if you were in my place?" "I would never have missed such an opportunity, I would have accepted the proposal and without any second thought would have moved to the U.S." was the reply from the other side. I hung up the phone and sat down with my hands on my head. A sense of panic crept in my mind and I felt like I was missing something. After being in the same position for more than a minute, I quickly grabbed the phone again and pressed the redial button. He picked up the phone on the other side. I said," If you would have accepted the proposal then I am ready for the move, I am coming" and within a second all that feeling of panic vanished. I felt very light and I myself didn't know what forced me to say "yes" in that minute. I felt very relieved and I informed everybody in the house of the final verdict. Now my mom had no choice, she had to move to the U.S. with my sister. They were reluctant to leave their home initially and left the decision on me.

Everybody was sad because we were to leave in a few days, but at the same time, they were happy that for the first time someone from their family would be pursuing higher education abroad. They had tears in their eyes and tons of hopes for me in their hearts. Those few days passed quickly. Finally, came the date of our departure, August 27th, 2007. Everybody from the family came to drop us at New Delhi airport. With a heavy heart we proceeded towards the terminal and boarded the plane. The whole world changed for all of us, the minute my flight took off. They would miss Akash who was everybody's star and I would miss the love and guidance at every step from the elders in the family. Those twenty long hours in the plane were full of sadness but I accepted the reality with a brave heart and finally landed in the U.S.

Settling down at home and school was quick. Now I had the advantage of my father's guidance which I had been missing in India. My parents had always wanted me to aim high and do something big. I am burning mid night's oil these days to be the ideal son of my parents. I am missing the love of my grandparents but fully know "We have to lose something to achieve something". I am hopeful that I would always cherish my decision.

THANKS FOR THE HELP...

Undergraduate / Bucknell optional essay.. the culture of the U.S. [4]

Hello everybody.. below is my response to bucknells optional essay..pls read and provide suggestions.. THANK YOU

Describe a time when you took a risk - either inside or outside of the classroom. What motivated you to take this risk? Who supported you in taking the risk? What did you learn about yourself in the process? (up to 250 words)

Completely unaware of the living conditions and the culture of the U.S., making a decision to live here permanently was a very risky decision. I was born and brought up in India. I was dumbfounded for some time when my dad asked all of us to come to the U.S. permanently. I had completely no idea of how people lived here, what kind of lifestyle they had and how would they take a person coming from a developing country. I searched all over the internet to know the american lifestlye, and to my surprise found that to be very well suited for me. I always liked to see huge skyscapers, vast seas and a fast lifestyle. I finally made the decision. I was ready for the big transition. I was motivated by my dad to make this decision. He was born very poor and without any opportunities, yet he worked hard and finally ended up getting a job in the world's financial leader, New York. But I had opportunities, I could not see these opportunities go unused in front of my eyes. I also learned during the whole process that I am capable of adapting to different environments very quickly. In just a year, I am now an individual who has a part time job, and several new friends in a completely different country.

THANK YOU..

Undergraduate / Common app supplement to BUCKNELL, any suggestions? [2]

Hello everyone!

I have tried to write response to 2 Bucknell Questions. Here they are .. PLEASE help by editing the responses. and posting suggestions for further improvement..

Your choice of major will shape your learning experience at Bucknell and, ultimately, your future. Please explain why you are interested in the major or majors that you noted in the above section. If you have not indicated a major, please explain why you prefer to be ''undecided'' at this time.

Studying Management is a dream that I have in me for over 7 years now and there is no better place to study management than at the Bucknell University. Bucknell's rural setting, vast campus and hundreds of clubs have really attracted me towards itself. Another reason for me being interested in management is my dad. He himself is an M.B.A. and he encourages me to study management. He often says that bussiness world is full of opportunities, but to be a successful entrepreneur, you have to take risks but the sense of satisfaction felt after achieving your goal in the business world is indefinble. I think that in today's world of challenges and hurdles, only Bucknell's business education can prepare an individual to face the world with innovative plans of high success potential.

What are the three most important things your future faculty and classmates should know about you? (75-150 words total)

If anybody should know the three most important things about me then these three things would be that I am very curious, i am a risk taker and that i can go any far in helping someone in need. Curiousity is a trait with which I am gifted by god. Curiousity has also helped in in unraveling the mysteries of certain processes which were extremely difficult for me to understand. Another thing that people should know about me is that I am a risk taker. I love to take positive risks. This risk taking habit has helped me a lot in knowing my capabilities. The last and the most important thing which everybody should know about me is that I am extremely helpful and i can work day and nights to help a person in need. I have volunteered several times and the more I volunteer, the more helpful I become by nature.

PLEASE HELP.. please provide suggestions for further improvement..

THANK YOU...

Undergraduate / NYU supplements .. 500 characters for all the answers [4]

Hello everybody!

I wrote answers to the NYU supplement. PLEASE GIVE SUGGESTIONS.
I wrote them to the best of my ability but as english is not my 1st lang, pls give VOCAB suggestions. My vocab is too light... THANK YOU FOR READING!

THE LIMIT IS 500 CHARACTERS FOR ALL THE ANSWERS.

In addition to any work experience that you listed on your application, please tell us how you spent your most recent summer vacation.

500 characters.

The summer of 2008 was my first summer in the U.S. This summer I visited India, my motherland and had a lot of fun. My vacation was made special by charity. As a volunteer in UANA, I was supposed to initiate a mass book donation program for a new public library in Uttarakhand state of India. I was also directed to select top students from each district of Uttarakhand to be awarded scholarships for their college education. I did all the aforesaid work and doing so made me feel highly satisfied.

Describe a trait or characteristic that has been passed along to you by your family. Tell us why you like or dislike this aspect of yourself.

500 characters.

Curiosity is the trait that has been passed on to me and it can be traced back to my parents and other family members. I like being curios because it helps me in unraveling the mysteries of certain things that are extremely complex for me, such as the relationship between mind and brain. I am always curios when i see new things. Curiosity has also destroyed many valuables possessions. I recently salvaged my new laptop because of one silly question: "How does the new Solid State hard-drive work?"

New York City is an essential element of academic and cultural life at NYU. If you could engage in an activity or start a club or service organization at NYU, what would it be and how would you envision it impacting the larger community?

500 characters.

Homelessness has for long been a serious problem in the society. I would, if given a chance, try to eliminate this problem. Studies suggest that to get money and shelter, homeless people often take support of crimes like, stealing, robbing, and murders. I would convince everybody to volunteer and nip the problem from its roots. Economic crisis of 2008 has increased the problem manifold. Even if we can't help them financially, we can contact the orphanages and other authorities to help the needy.

You have been selected to sing in a talent show. What song would you choose? Why?

500 characters.

I would choose to sing "Oh! The people of my Motherland" by Lata Mangeshkar. It is a song in Hindi language which is dedicated to the gallant Indian soldiers who fought in the war of 1962. I would choose this song because it shows to us that people today have forgotten the sacrifices made by the soldiers and merely build parks in their honor and forget their sacrifice. The pain, the anger and the shock felt by the close ones of the martyrs is indefinable and it is depicted in this specific song.

Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

499 charaters.

Even before I came to the U.S., studying Business at the Stern School of business was my dream. Coming from a developing country, I understand the need for good education. NYU not only provides good education to students, but it also fosters a well educated person for today's world of challenges and hurdles. Stern School's rich heritage of more than 100 years has attracted me towards itself. As a business student, I intend of becoming a successful entrepreneur and a social worker for the world.

please give suggestions .. and vocab fixes
Thanks

Undergraduate / 'First summer in the US / Curiosity / Homelessness / Hindi / Business' - NYU SHORT [2]

Hello everybody!

I wrote answers to the NYU supplement. PLEASE GIVE SUGGESTIONS.
I wrote them to the best of my ability but as english is not my 1st lang, pls give VOCAB suggestions. My vocab is too light... THANK YOU FOR READING!

THE LIMIT IS 500 CHARACTERS FOR ALL THE ANSWERS.

In addition to any work experience that you listed on your application, please tell us how you spent your most recent summer vacation.

500 characters.

The summer of 2008 was my first summer in the U.S. This summer I visited India, my motherland and had a lot of fun. My vacation was made special by charity. As a volunteer in UANA, I was supposed to initiate a mass book donation program for a new public library in Uttarakhand state of India. I was also directed to select top students from each district of Uttarakhand to be awarded scholarships for their college education. I did all the aforesaid work and doing so made me feel highly satisfied.

Describe a trait or characteristic that has been passed along to you by your family. Tell us why you like or dislike this aspect of yourself.

500 characters.

Curiosity is the trait that has been passed on to me and it can be traced back to my parents and other family members. I like being curios because it helps me in unraveling the mysteries of certain things that are extremely complex for me, such as the relationship between mind and brain. I am always curios when i see new things. Curiosity has also destroyed many valuables possessions. I recently salvaged my new laptop because of one silly question: "How does the new Solid State hard-drive work?"

New York City is an essential element of academic and cultural life at NYU. If you could engage in an activity or start a club or service organization at NYU, what would it be and how would you envision it impacting the larger community?

500 characters.

Homelessness has for long been a serious problem in the society. I would, if given a chance, try to eliminate this problem. Studies suggest that to get money and shelter, homeless people often take support of crimes like, stealing, robbing, and murders. I would convince everybody to volunteer and nip the problem from its roots. Economic crisis of 2008 has increased the problem manifold. Even if we can't help them financially, we can contact the orphanages and other authorities to help the needy.

You have been selected to sing in a talent show. What song would you choose? Why?
500 characters.

I would choose to sing "Oh! The people of my Motherland" by Lata Mangeshkar. It is a song in Hindi language which is dedicated to the gallant Indian soldiers who fought in the war of 1962. I would choose this song because it shows to us that people today have forgotten the sacrifices made by the soldiers and merely build parks in their honor and forget their sacrifice. The pain, the anger and the shock felt by the close ones of the martyrs is indefinable and it is depicted in this specific song.

Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

499 charaters.

Even before I came to the U.S., studying Business at the Stern School of business was my dream. Coming from a developing country, I understand the need for good education. NYU not only provides good education to students, but it also fosters a well educated person for today's world of challenges and hurdles. Stern School's rich heritage of more than 100 years has attracted me towards itself. As a business student, I intend of becoming a successful entrepreneur and a social worker for the world.

please give suggestions .. and vocab fixes
Thanks

Undergraduate / As inventory and supply manager of the restaurant, such is a typical work day for me. [3]

this is the answer for the short answer question.. it is 148 words..

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).

It has been a long tiring walk to the restaurant from the Port Authority. I finally reached the restaurant and my body quickly adapted to the basement's soothing temperature. I picked up my daily agenda book and dialed the supplier's number and requested the stock to be filled ASAP. Meanwhile, the stock from K.B. and brothers arrived. I picked up the sacks of food items and put them in the store room. Then, I went to my head chef and told him that the inventory has been restocked.

As an inventory and supply manager of the restaurant, such is a typical work day for me. Talking to suppliers, arranging for meetings with the owner and negotiating for prices is my basic job requirement. These job requirements have improved me a lot in building better work ethics and a sense of dedication and determination towards aiming for a goal.

Undergraduate / long tiring walk to the restaurant / tried numerous types of sports - which essay should be used? [6]

hello everyone. I finished up 2 responses to the short answer question of the common app.

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).

1111111----

It has been a long tiring walk to the restaurant from the Port Authority. I finally reached the restaurant and my body quickly adapted to the basement's soothing temperature. I picked up my daily agenda book and dialed the supplier's number and requested the stock to be filled ASAP. Meanwhile, the stock from K.B. and brothers arrived. I picked up the sacks of food items and put them in the store room. Then, I went to my head chef and told him that the inventory has been restocked.

As an inventory and supply manager of the restaurant, such is a typical work day for me. Talking to suppliers, arranging for meetings with the owner and negotiating for prices is my basic job requirement. These job requirements have improved me a lot in building better work ethics and a sense of dedication and determination towards aiming for a goal.

222222----

Although I have never played on any team, I have tried numerous types of sports for leisure and have even mastered some! The current sport in which I excel in is Tennis. Although I just started playing Tennis in 2007, it has become an important part of my life and I cannot even imagine life without it.

Tennis has helped me meet new people of diverse cultures and beliefs. Every week, I meet at least one to two new people either from a different country or a different level of play.

Tennis is a great game to learn a variety of life skills, such as good sportsmanship and a sense of camaraderie. Playing Tennis has also taught me in how to take and respond to challenges with utmost dedication and determination.

pls tell me which one should be used and please give suggestions for improvement of the better one.. pls be as critical as possible!! thank you for taking time to read and post suggestions..

Undergraduate / 'Excelling in tennis' - Common app.. short answer "ANY ACTIVITY" [5]

hello everyone!

I did the common app.. short answer .. please can someone give editing suggestions and shortening ideas because the limit is 150 words and i wrote about 181 words.. pls someone help.

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).

Extracurricular activities have been a very integral part of my life. Although I never played in any big team or professionally, I often play sports for leisure and fitness. I have tried my hand in numerous types of sports and even mastered some! The current sport in which I excel is Tennis. Although I started playing Tennis in 2007, it has become an important part of my life and I cannot even think of any survival without it. Tennis has helped me a lot in meeting new people of diverse cultures and beliefs. Every week, I meet at least one to two new people either from a different country or a different level of play. Tennis is a very good game to learn a variety of skills which prove to be a necessity in the future. It can teach you how to behave and praise the opponent when you were defeated by him and how not to overreact when you win a game. Playing Tennis also improved me in how to take and respond to challenges with utmost dedication and determination.

thanks for reading and posting a suggestion!

merry christmas!