Undergraduate / UPenn optional essay- tell us about you [10]

I like the second one. I don't if you answered the entire prompt though. It asks about your identity and background to show how it guides your day to day experiences.

Undergraduate / 'Stepping onto the campus' - UPenn supplement essay [4]

I agree with Kevin. You did not answer the prompt at all. You need to actually research about the school. The essay should be close to 500 words.

Undergraduate / Why Upenn - Upenn Supplement 500 word essay [9]

This essay is really creative and well written.

Undergraduate / 'watched the NYU Symphony Orchestra' - Why NYU? [4]

Awesome essay

Undergraduate / 'significant and worthwhile' +'my interest in finance' + 'Singapore' - NYU [4]

You should think about your first sentence on the Why NYU essay. My friend at school in Korea traveled to the U.S. to visit the schools he was thinking of applying to. Being an international student does not serve as a good enough excuse as to why you couldn't visit NYU.

Undergraduate / 'the economics section is what I turn to first' - NYU Supp [6]

You said that your Why NYU essay mainly focuses on New York City. Too many applicants talk about that. You still need to focus on programs or other attributes of NYU on your first essay as well.

Undergraduate / 'I do not call myself an actress' - NYU short essay [3]

You seriously need to work on your grammar. Ask a teacher to help revising it.

Undergraduate / BABSON SUPPLEMENT: together we can grow [5]

"I'm friendly to everyone except ignorance"
Ignorance means having a lack of knowledge. From the sentence it seems as if you are unfriendly towards the underprivileged. Your essay looks really similar to another Babson Supplement that is posted on Essay Forum. Be more original.

Undergraduate / 'I started Kumon' - uiuc: how your past impacted who you are and your major? [3]

You sound like a braggart. Colleges want you to imply about your achievements, not boast about yourself.

Undergraduate / Through the perspective of an engineer. UPENN ESSAY [3]

On your first essay try to include more specifics about what you want to do at UPenn.

Undergraduate / 'from Bangladesh' + 'Sociology' + 'Life in Namibia' - NYU supplement [9]

I also have to add that your third essay does not show why you would fit into NYU. It actually looks as if it would be better for you to go to a college in a rural area.

Undergraduate / 'from Bangladesh' + 'Sociology' + 'Life in Namibia' - NYU supplement [9]

Your essays seem pretty good, but your first essay focuses too much on the city environment. Focusing on the city is too common. There has to be something more. Also, you want to show how you will contribute to NYU.

Undergraduate / NYU Supplement - English Exchange experience in school [5]

To be honest, you don't really answer the prompt at all. Based on what you wrote, it seems as if you would be satisfied with studying at any prestigious university around the world. There is no focus on your major.

Undergraduate / 'Seeing the World Through Sand' - Common App Short Extracurricular Essay [7]

this is a really creative and original essay. i don't think you will have to fix it at all.

Undergraduate / 'Center for Talented Youth' - Common App - how a summer camp changed my life [8]

Great essay. I was impressed. I would agree with arianna that you need to change that one portion.

Undergraduate / 'the environment I love' - Why NYU? essay question [10]

You to be more creative!!!