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Posts by AryanK
Joined: Dec 15, 2012
Last Post: Feb 10, 2013
Threads: 5
Posts: 20  
Likes: 3
From: Pakistan

Displayed posts: 25
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AryanK   
Feb 10, 2013
Undergraduate / IMAGE OF MY TRIBE; Difference in community; What you learned from that experience? [2]

Prompt:Describe a situation in which you have made a difference in your school or community and what you learned from that experience?

I belong to a tribal area of Pakistan and as a result I had been struggling to dispel the traditional tribal man image of being aggressive and rude. In my O Levels I decided to dispel this image of tribal people as there are some progressive and compassionate tribal people and they deserve to be appreciated. I wanted to be one of those and therefore, I joined several organizations that worked for promotion of education in the region like CRSD, Adult literacy center. I worked as an assistant teacher. I also volunteered with Natural Disaster management during catastrophic floods in 2010. I aim to change the barbaric image of my people.

Please help...word limit is 110 words
AryanK   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / I was amazed of Northeastern's qualities ; Something you created [3]

Help to help you hhahaha..your second essay is good but you did not mention Qatar ...do it and explain a little more on environment in boarding school which you have explained in the other essay as very diverse. Otherwise second essay is impressive. Third essay: you have written about the N.W and undergrad school, I would suggest highlight more on your undergrad school's ( School of Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences )distinctive qualities (which you do but towards the end) its good that you have mentioned HMUN. Good luck!
AryanK   
Dec 30, 2012
Writing Feedback / Broad knowledge or Specific knowledge? Broader knowledge is more important; TOEFL [3]

Its more like liberal arts...you seem to promote liberal arts background so I guess add some more skills and competencies that one can develop with the broad based knowledge like self confidence, ability to deal with the information,technology and researches, creativity, critical thinking etc. and dumi please help me with my essay too i ll appreciate your help and remarks.
AryanK   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / New environment,culture, tradition, education & a lifestyle; Brown U/Cubism question) [4]

I think you should emphasise on class event when your perspective actually changed and also talk a little about what values are same between the two ( don't go into details but a lil description would be good). The essay over all is good and also shows that now you are comfortable with diverse environment. Work little more on last para.

Hope it helps!
AryanK   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / My mom is a mathematician; Common App/ Person & influence [3]

:Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

The experiences that I had in my childhood in school were not so positive rather they were dark and negative yet they have profoundly influenced me. I was eight years old and was promoted to fourth grade. I was back to school after two months summer break and my first class in school was mathematics; the subject that I abhorred. I had been struggling with mathematics since the first day at school though my mother is a mathematician but she was always so absorbed with her job and work that she hardly paid attention to my weakness in mathematics. I loathed learning and memorizing tables, dividing odd numbers, and finding how much is John left with if he gives 20% of 2030 to his friend? Such questions always made me angry just because I got them wrong and failed to work out the correct answer, as a result I ran away from such gruelling mathematics work.

Ms. Flora, our mathematics teacher in fourth grade was known for her arrogance, strictness and short-temper. She always screamed, yelled and scolded eight and nine years old on every little mistake. I was the weakest student of her and she hated me. I had no way to skip her screams, sarcasm and anguish. I was also the weakest target because all my former teachers agreed that I never performed well in maths. She always pointed me out in a class to solve the question on the board, say a loud the tables and answer the difficult questions. My mother was often called up and complained about my performance. I felt like I was the worst student and can never succeed in life.

I was completely shattered until one day when I came back home tired of her daily wrath and punishments in the class. I couldn't tell my mother about the situation as I didn't want to further augment to her problems. I turned to myself and decided to change my attitude as all this had not only dented my image but had made me a complete loner. I took out my mathematics book and started to solve the examples first. From that day on I made sure that I practised mathematics regularly at least two hours a day. I re-made friends, however, difficult but I had to because it was the only way I could help from my peers. I always tried my best to perform well, communicate with her favourites, smile in her class, and respond politely to her every ridicule and acrimonious remark.

I believe that if she had not treated that way, I wouldn't have performed well in my class at all. She instigated me to change my way of dealing with difficult subjects that required extra effort. I owe to her for whatever I am right now, though she was a negative person but she has moulded me in to a positive person. I still make sure that I work harder in mathematics.

Please help me with the title and help with the work will be greatly appreciated
AryanK   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / Hamid-ur-Rehamn ; Common App/ Person who had influence [2]

Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

Hamid-ur-Rehamn was an ordinary boy who was neither studying in any school nor belonged to any well to do family. He was a simple boy who lived in a small city of Mardan few miles away from Peshawar and struggled with his father to earn living. He was the youngest of his five siblings and was the only son of his parents. Hamid's old father looked up to him for earning bread and looking after the extended family. Just like any other boy in his neighborhood, Hamid wanted to study and become a doctor one day. On seeing his desire to study, his father signed him up with CRSD literacy centre which would provide him free education and even pay for his books and uniform.

After I had given my Ordinary level exams in May 2010, I was called up by one of my mother's friend, who happened to be the director at literacy centre, asking me if I wanted to volunteer. I instantly agreed and met the teacher whom I was going to assist in class. My job was simply to communicate with these kids, get to know them better, make them draw on paper the rough images they had in their minds, talk about their aspirations and help them with their studies. I met all the children, with whom I instantly became friends; I spoke to them in my native language Pashto, I read out the English stories aloud and then translated them; so it was all every indulging for me and the kids. However, Hamid usually remained silent, came to class earlier than the rest and was often highly engrossed in reading the material provided to him. I tried to communicate with him but he seemed shy to speak out. At first I thought he was simply coming in to this class because his parents wanted to him to attend but my assumption was crushed when in a quiz test he outperformed the rest and stood out as winner of our quiz challenge.

After the test I once again tried to communicate and he finally broke silence and spoke in his low volume, somewhat harmonious voice. I was astounded to hear about how exhausting and hard his daily routine was. He woke up early and accompanied his father to get milk and bread for the family, spent time in the class and then later worked with his father in a field.

Despite all this, he never looked drained, tired or angry. He was very polite, soft, helpful boy and he told me that he was just too grateful to God for whatever he had. He wanted to struggle and change the life he was living. His belief in struggle, determination and winning against all the ordeals was not only inspiring but unbelievable. I was there to teach him but he taught me a good lesson that I will carry all my life and that is: fight to succeed and survive in all conditions with patience and gratefulness.
AryanK   
Dec 19, 2012
Undergraduate / Family/ Shool ; MIT essay-My world shaping my aspirations; [5]

I think you idea is very clear and vivid. You have written that you had keen interest since childhood in discovering and exploring new things like for you it was a toy in childhood that captivated you. You shared an anecdote and that's a good approach to begin with. But I think you need to work on the second paragraph, tell the admission officer something unique about your upbringing, or school, club or any activity experience because the prompt clearly states to "describe the world you world come from" so I guess tell more about your school. In the first para "For this child...what he wants" can be concise and clearer. Rephrase that part. Other than your essay and idea is too good. Best of luck!
AryanK   
Dec 19, 2012
Undergraduate / My consciousness was shaken in 2005 October ; Different world [6]

diabatem : Thanks a lot your feed back has really helped. I ll make changes to it. Can you explain me a little that what do you mean by "being" "learnt" I mean I did not understand what to do with it?
AryanK   
Dec 18, 2012
Undergraduate / 'academic endeavors' - Northwestern provides a wide assortment of programs [8]

diabatem: You have written really well but I think that you are not specific. The question asks you about the unique qualities of North Western and if you read your essay you ll notice that have not written any thing that is specific or unique about the N.Western. Replace N.Western with any other major university, all of the major universities offer intern ships, provide great research programs etc. Other than you have written about the tools that you think will help you in becoming Obstetrician/ Gynecologist ( any thing special about the depart, what are those tools...teachers or any thing else) talk about any particular research work that interests you the most.

Your extra curricular and diversity part is good ....i guess you just work a little on first two paras

I hope it helps :)
AryanK   
Dec 18, 2012
Undergraduate / My consciousness was shaken in 2005 October ; Different world [6]

The smile that would make my day, the prayers that would fill me with hope and the eyes that would always welcome me; it was an incredible and an indescribable experience of my life just at the age of eleven. I was compelled to join the non-profit organization that worked to bring relief to the distressed earth quake victims of October 2005. I learnt a lot being the part of an organization; independence, self confidence and sense of accomplishment that came through my work, dedication, and volunteering have shaped me as an individual and a citizen. The joy that I had on every success during fund raising, aid distribution, and consoling sessions with the young kids of my age was phenomenal. I was scolded, guided and taught while all this and of course this moulded me in to a positive and courageous person. I continue working with the organization and I always find myself experiencing the delightful work.

Please help with your opinions...check grammar pls
AryanK   
Dec 18, 2012
Undergraduate / I want to change this world; Illinois ESSAY PROMPT#1: [8]

hey ur essay is good. I like it but I think if you could link the second para's opening sentence with the previous..i guess that I would make ur essay sound well connected and if you could work a little on concluding para as well. Other than that you have written well. Best of luck!
AryanK   
Dec 18, 2012
Undergraduate / Broadening Horizons; Liberal arts/ Skills and competencies [5]

Q. What skills and competencies can you develop with a liberal arts background and how might you use them to build a fulfilling career as an individual, as a professional and as a citizen?

The diversity, broadness and the application of liberal arts education to real life are the major attraction for opting to study liberal arts at my college level. I am excited about the fact I will study different courses which will contribute to my development as a professional, individual and a responsible citizen. Liberal arts will serve as a foundation for further professional studies at university level and also for my future career. In today's fast growing world where every second technologies advance, researches progress, new ideas flourish and new discoveries and inventions come forward, I believe that my liberal arts back ground will play a vital role in swinging with all complexities and challenges. The diverse body of knowledge that I will gain from a liberal arts education, together with analytical and examination skills, I will be able to carve my own opinions, attitudes, values, and beliefs, based on inspection, and assessment of argument and evidence. Of course, I will shape a brighter and positive picture of my future and society with great leadership skills while continuing to grow and enrich, making lifelong friendships, enjoying variant cultures and opinions, and struggling to succeed in all fields of life.

Please give your opinions tell me ho can i improve this n help with the topic please!
AryanK   
Dec 17, 2012
Undergraduate / My consciousness was shaken in 2005 October ; Different world [6]

Prompt:Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

Growing up in a close-knit family with privileges, I viewed the world to be very different. The life for me was about studying really hard, achieving better grades, reading favourite novels at night and playing blithely with friends yet I was unaware of the harsh realities and difficulties of outside world. My consciousness was shaken in 2005 October when an earth quake destroyed many happy lives, turned beautiful cities and towns in to flatten and wrecked debris, of course it was very sorrowful for me at that time. I joined a non- profit organization just at the age of 11 to help the sufferers. During all this time I closely observed the vigour and patience of our people; it was not only inspiring but also heart breaking. Their courage and hope had a great impact on my personality and belief. Now I believe that world is like a teacher, caring and loving but strict when giving lessons those who take it for granted suffer while those who learn it by heart always succeed.

Please help me with it..look for grammatical errors.
AryanK   
Dec 17, 2012
Undergraduate / Reed College Supplement? "I know I'm not unique." [5]

I might be wrong but while reading your essay I felt like as if you have exaggerated a few things like when you write about inflation calculation, you argue that you couldn't understand that why inflation was calculated that way n then you later go on to say that you understood why inflation was calculated by employing any specific method but here you do not come up with any reason as to what did u find or researched. I suggest that you should try not to sound too different otherwise it might give them a wrong impression. When you speak about "important things" I guess it would give the admission officer a view that you cannot prioritize things and do not understand what to do and when, he might take you as "confused" person. I don't know what is the question but this is how I felt while reading your essay.

hope my remarks help.
AryanK   
Dec 15, 2012
Undergraduate / All I did was play basketball; Common Application Essay #1 [2]

Sopanhatun I think your idea is good. You have explained well that how basket ball has helped you learn and experience new things and how it has transformed you from a "narrow minded" person in to a brave person but there are a few things that I believe you need to look in to.

First of all I feel that you have written a lot about the impact of basket ball practice and you have not sufficiently explained your experience,

I mean the struggle the amount of work or the effort that you had to put in to and how it felt. What did you gain while practising for long hours.

Secondly, I feel that you should read your essay aloud because I find many grammatical errors like Tense errors and unidiomatic expressions etc.
Thirdly, I guess you should address the impact as a concluding paragraph. You have written three paragraphs on just the impact.

I hope it helps.
AryanK   
Dec 15, 2012
Undergraduate / I want to change this world; Illinois ESSAY PROMPT#1: [8]

Well Vandalis, I think you fail to respond to the question. The question demands you to tell them why do you want to study computer science, Ramu's story seems a

little irrelevant. If you say that you want to do some thing to provide education to these underprivileged kids so how will you do it with a major in

computer sciences. I hope you understand what I am trying to say.I think you should also avoid adding sayings by people that makes the essay a little boring.Hope my remarks help