Graduate / PHOTO BOOK; "Life in the Universe"/ One thing to Represent the Human Race [3]

Stephen Hawking asked the question, "What is the probability of life existing elsewhere in the universe?" in his public lecture, "Life in the Universe." If life does, in fact, exist elsewhere in the universe and you could send one thing to represent the human race, what would it be and why would you choose it?

250 Words/Half Page

If one thing could be sent to an extraterrestrial life force elsewhere in the universe, I think that a photo book would be an effective way to represent the human race. This book would consist of a series of photos that depicts the following basic concepts: diversity of the human race, our accomplishments and advances, and the planet that we occupy. The photos would not be of just one item specifically, but have many different characteristics of our race integrated into each picture. Firstly, the photo series should include people of all ethnicities and cultures. The human race is by no means uniform, so the photos should include people from all walks of life, ranging from businessmen in suits, to Buddhist monks in traditional robes. Our methods of transportation should be featured as well. Planes, trains, automobiles, ships, and space shuttles are a great indication of how advanced our technology is. Architectural meccas including Manhattan, Tokyo, and Dubai not only display the incredible capabilities of man, but also depict the urban lifestyle of billions of people. However, the photos should include more than just highly developed and industrialized settings. They should include all of the natural features of our planet; different landscapes and climates, terrestrial and aquatic environments, seasonal change, even day and night. Although pictures can't display everything there is to know about us, some concepts can be inferred from the photos, such as the fact that we use language and text as forms of communication, utilize radio signals to interconnect with one another, and are highly social organisms in general. The human race is so diverse and complex, it would be difficult to truly represent us in our entirety, but I think that a photo book would be a great start.

I know this is rough, I just wrote it to get my ideas down as I was thinking of them. Can anybody help me with some input on wording/structuring? Thanks

Undergraduate / Picturesque, Brilliant Students, Renowned Academics; Brown Transfer (Biology Major) [3]

Tell us more about your interest in transferring: Why does brown appeal to you as a college option? Who are what has influenced your decision to apply? (2000 characters or less)

While I was searching for colleges the first time around, everybody that I turned to for help gave me the same advice; when I found the right school, I would know it. Apparently I missed out on this experience, because out of all of the schools I visited, not one felt right to me. Truthfully, I never got the gut feeling that a school was exactly where I wanted to be, until I visited Brown. Everything about it felt perfect. The picturesque campus, the brilliant student body, and the renowned academics all aligned perfectly with how I envision the rest of my college career.

The freedom offered to students to design their own academic path intrigues me, as the education offered at Emmanuel is bound by the confines of a strict curriculum. Brown would accommodate my interests ranging from East Asian Studies to Economics, while concurrently offering a solid foundation in the biological sciences. What appeals to me most about the academics at Brown are the many unique course offerings available in the sciences. 'Neurobiology of Learning and Memory' pertains specifically to my fascination in the complexities of the human brain, while 'Principles of Experimental Surgery' satisfies my interest in the marvels of modern surgery. The abundant research opportunities available to undergrads also greatly contribute to the allure of Brown. I have many questions about the intricacies of the immune system, and features such as the senior Capstone would allow me to conduct my own independent research project in the field of immunology.

Although the academic aspects of Brown are prominent facets of interest, it is the open-minded student body that appeals to me most. While on campus, I became acquainted with a group of sophomores at Brown. When I expressed an interest in applying, they went above and beyond to inform me of how great the school is. The way that they described it, with such enthusiasm and satisfaction, made me certain that Brown was exactly where I wanted to be.

Essay #2
Describe what academic field you wish to pursue at Brown, how you came upon that interest, and any post-graduation career plans you may have considered. (we prefer that you limit to 500 words and avoid repeating essay submitted for the common app.)

I am awoken early on a Tuesday morning by sharp pains throughout my hip, collarbone, wrist and hand. Without opening up a single shade in my room I can already tell that it is going to rain today. These concurrent pains are the result of numerous fractures, dislocations, and sprains that I have suffered throughout the course of my life, and they are exacerbated by changes in the barometric pressure of the atmosphere associated with rain. Throughout my childhood, I was involved in just about every sport ranging from ice hockey to snowboarding, and needless to say, over the years I have become closely acquainted with the emergency room setting. Though I recall certain hospital experiences to be more traumatic and gruesome than others, with each visit I was always amazed by the skillfulness and composure of the physicians who treated me.

Thorough experience in the medical field from the patient perspective has definitely influenced my desire to become a physician. I know the feeling of helplessness that patients experience firsthand; the feeling of laying on a hospital bed with a compound fracture, or with a gash so deep that you can see your femur, and depending solely on your physician to fix your wounds. I want to go into medicine because I am utterly fascinated by science aspect of the healthcare field, and all of the potential innovations and advancements to be made. However, I aspire to become a doctor because I want to be dependable for my patients, just as the physicians who treated me have been.

I wish that I had uncovered my passion for the sciences earlier in my academic career, however the past cannot be changed. It was during the spring semester of my freshman year that I began working at Harvard Medical School. There I was able to speak with renowned physicians about the possibility of entering the medical field. They gave me the insight, and more importantly the confidence to pursue medicine. Since then I have been working relentlessly to excel academically, and I know that my ambition will allow me to continue to do so in the future.

Brown's Health and Human Biology Program offers exactly what I am looking for, a rigorous and challenging education in the sciences. This program goes above and beyond the bare minimum need to fulfill medical school requirements and provide preparation for the MCAT. What I find most attractive about the program is its interdisciplinary approach. Although I am undoubtedly infatuated by biology, I would thoroughly enjoy integrating public health, biomedical engineering, and neuroscience courses into my curriculum. I strive to be versed in all aspects of the sciences, which is something that I can only achieve at Brown. I know that if admitted, an education from Brown will benefit me for the rest of my life, throughout a prosperous career in medicine. Whether I am a cardiothoracic anesthesiologist, or a surgical oncologist, I will proudly carry the Brown name with me.

I tried to be specific with both of these essays as to why I personally want to go to Brown. it is my dream school, and I know I am an underdog but I figured it was worth a shot. Any feedback?

Undergraduate / Explore my passion for science in depth; Transfer Essay [3]

I am submitting my app this weekend, please give me input!

The time that I have spent at x has initiated many changes in my life; changes in my interests, aspirations for my future, and most importantly a change in mindset. During my three semesters here I have established a sense of purpose as a student, developed an efficient work ethic, and attained an ambition to excel academically, all of which I was lacking in the past. Throughout high school I was always considered an "average" student. Although I believe that I had potential, I never had the motivation to push myself to escape mediocrity. Recently, I've started to see things from a whole new perspective though. After my first semester of college, I experienced a change that would finally allow me to free myself of the confines of being a run-of-the-mill student.

It was at this point that I considered pursuing medicine. This helped guide me to find a new sense of enthusiasm to achieve my full potential academically. For the first time in years, I found myself genuinely fascinated by schoolwork. As a newly proclaimed science major, I was captivated by the material in my general chemistry and molecular biology classes, and knowing that these subjects make up not even one-millionth of the scientific world has left me eager to delve deeper into this ever-expanding field. This recent reformation of my ambitions has led me on a search for a new academic setting that will better suit my interests.

Attending x has done much more than just helping me mature as a student. It has given me the opportunity to learn from outstanding professors, establish a close-knit group of friends, and to experience the great city of Boston. While I have definitely enjoyed my experience at x, I feel that I would benefit from a school with a more motivated student population, as well as a broader array of course offerings and research opportunities for science majors.

By transferring, I would like to attend an institution in which I can explore my passion for science in depth amongst a student body that wholeheartedly wants to learn, and is faced with challenges that will really test their abilities. I want to become integrated in a community that is involved both in and out of the classroom; one that consists of an eclectic variety of students with a wide range of interests. I hope to be granted admission to a university that offers a fulfilling experience both socially and academically; one that can provide a topnotch education in the biological sciences and humanities. If I am admitted, I will not only benefit from a new environment, but contribute to it as well. I may not have been the valedictorian of my class, and I did not get a perfect score on my SATs, but I know that my motivation will allow me to succeed at your school.

Thank you!

Undergraduate / Tufts "let your life speak" - why I want to be a doctor [9]

I know that this isn't the cookie cutter "my parents raised me this way" answer, but I thought it was relevant to the prompt. I was hoping it would be interesting for the reader.

the prompt: There is a Quaker saying: ''Let your life speak.'' Describe the environment in which you were raised-your family, home, neighborhood, or community-and how it influenced the person you are today. (200-250 words)

I am awoken early on a Tuesday morning by sharp pains throughout my hip, collarbone, wrist and hand. Without opening up a single shade in my room I can already tell that it is going to rain today. These concurrent pains are the result of numerous fractures, dislocations, and sprains that I have suffered throughout the course of my life, and they are exacerbated by changes in the barometric pressure of the atmosphere associated with precipitation. Throughout my childhood, my brother and I were involved in just about every sport ranging from ice hockey to snowboarding. Needless to say, over the years I have become closely acquainted with the emergency room setting. Though I recall certain hospital experiences to be more traumatic and gruesome than others, with each visit I always was amazed by how remarkable the physicians who treated me were.

Having thorough experience in the medical field from the patient perspective has certainly influenced my desire to become a physician. I know the feeling of helplessness that patients experience firsthand; the feeling of laying on a hospital bed with a compound fracture, or with a gash so deep that you can see your femur, and depending solely on your doctor to fix your wounds. I want to go into medicine because I am utterly fascinated by science aspect of the healthcare field, and all of the potential innovations and advancements to be made. However I want to become a doctor because I want to be dependable for my patients, just as the physicians who treated me have been.

Also a second tufts supplement, Which aspects of the Tufts curriculum or undergraduate experience prompt your application. In short, why Tufts? 50-100 words

Any critique on this? I tried to write it in complete honesty

It is a well-known fact that Tufts offers one of the best undergraduate educations in the world. However, the academics are not the sole reason why Tufts is my top choice. I recently became acquainted with a sophomore international relations major at Tufts. She was one of the most vibrant, exceptional people I have ever met. When I inquired about Tufts, she went above and beyond to inform me of how great the school was. She lightheartedly depicted the student body as "Tufts weird," explaining that the community consists of a diverse pool of hard-working students, each with their own unique interests. The way that she described the school, with such enthusiasm and satisfaction, made me certain that Tufts was exactly where I wanted to be; surrounded by remarkable people like her.

Undergraduate / Freedom/Research/Open-minded student body; WHY Brown? (Transfer-Science Major) [NEW]

I messed around in high school and did poorly, now I am at a mediocre institution with a 3.8, however I have gotten straight As for the past two semesters. I feel as though this essay may need an anecdote, or something to make it less boring. I tried to be specific about my interests, and not be too broad with generic statements about the school. Any feedback would be appreciated

Tell us more about your interest in transferring: Why does brown appeal to you as a college option? Who are what has influenced your decision to apply? (2000 characters or less)

As a high school student, the thought of attending a renowned institution such as Brown University was farfetched. As a matter of fact it was nonexistent. However I truly believe that since graduating, I have developed the maturity and motivation to be able to benefit from the environment at Brown, and more importantly contribute to it.

I am intrigued by the freedom offered to students to design their own academic path, though that is merely one of the countless advantages that the institution offers. It is the opportunity for academic and intellectual enrichment, as well as the energy and involvement of a unique student body at Brown that makes it my top choice school. Because of its wide array of fascinating course offerings as well as a distinguished faculty, Brown's biology department is unparalleled by any other schools that I have considered. The programs available within the department offer not only a solid foundation in the biological sciences, but also allow for the integration of courses from other concentrations that appeal to me personally, such as 'Neurobiology of Learning and Memory', or 'Medical Traditions in the Old World Before 1700.'

The abundant research opportunities available to undergraduate students also greatly contribute to the allure of Brown. It is only here that students have the chance to conduct research in collaboration with distinguished professors such as Dr. Barry Connors. I find the complexities of the human brain to be mesmerizing, and I would be ecstatic to participate in research projects such as Dr. Connor's study of the neocortex and the physiology of its mechanisms.

Although the academic and research aspects of Brown are prominent facets of interest, it is the open-minded student body that appeals to me most. I recently became acquainted with a sophomore at Brown. She was one of the most vibrant, exceptional people I have ever met. When I inquired about Brown, she went above and beyond to inform me of how great the school was. She elaborated that the community consists of a diverse pool of hard-working students, each with their own distinct interests. The way that she described the school, with such enthusiasm and satisfaction, made me certain that Brown was exactly where I wanted to be; surrounded by remarkable people like her.

Undergraduate / Hospital intern in research lab; Extracurricular/ work experiences [3]

Early in my college career I began working at Harvard Medical School. Though the position I held did not entail any clinical work, mere exposure to the environment of the medical field sparked my interest. After expressing an interest in medicine to my supervisor, she was able to connect me to Dr. _____, an Assistant Professor of ______ at Harvard Medical School, who also conducts research at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. Shortly afterwards, I started my internship in Dr. _____'s maternal medicine research lab. My responsibilities in this lab range from organization of patient records and consent forms, to helping with sample collection and analysis of placenta. Dr. _____'s research protocol focuses on cardiovascular effects on women with preeclampsia (hypertension during pregnancy). Dr. _____ also sees patients in a clinical setting, for which she has allowed me to shadow her. I have thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to work in a hospital setting; it has been both fascinating and gratifying. This experience has been very valuable, and it has affirmed my interest in pursuing the sciences.

I'm a transfer student if you couldn't tell
I feel like this is too boring? I might go for a total rewrite that is more descriptive and interesting. any input would help

Undergraduate / Transformation helps us benefit from new enviorenment; Common App Transfer Essay [4]

"My Past is not an Accurate Depiction of Who I Have Become"

The time that I have spent at _________ has caused a lot of changes in my life; changes in interests, aspirations for my future, and most importantly a change in mindset. During my three semesters here I have established a sense of purpose as a student, developed an efficient work ethic, and attained an ambition to excel academically, all of which I was lacking in the past. Throughout high school I was always considered an "average" student, which has been exhibited in my GPA and SAT scores. Though I believe that I had potential, I never had the motivation to push myself to escape mediocrity. Recently I have begun to see things from an entirely different perspective however. After my first semester of college, which entailed yet another mediocre performance on my behalf, I experienced a change that would finally allow me to free myself of the confines of being a run-of-the-mill student.

It was at this point that I became interested in pursuing medicine. This decision guided me to find a new sense of enthusiasm to achieve my full potential academically, and to prosper intellectually. For the first time in years I found myself genuinely fascinated by schoolwork. As a newly proclaimed science major, I was captivated by the material in my general chemistry and molecular biology classes, and knowing that these subjects make up not even one-millionth of the scientific world has left me eager to delve deeper into this ever-expanding field. The newfound values that I have developed at ______ have left me in search of a new academic setting that will better suit my interests. (will change this last sentence)

Attending _______ has not only helped me mature as both a student and a person, but it has also given me the opportunity to learn from outstanding professors, and the ability to experience the great city of ______. However there are undoubtedly a few aspects of the school that could be improved upon. Because of its small size, the course offerings are limited, as are the research opportunities for science majors. Another source of dissatisfaction with the school is that the student body is not as academically engaged as I would have expected.

By transferring, I would like to attend an institution in which I can explore my passion for science in depth amongst a student body that wholeheartedly wants to learn, and is faced with challenges that will really test their abilities. I want to become ingrained in a community that is involved both in and out of the classroom; one that consists of an eclectic variety of students with a wide range of interests. I hope to be granted admission to a school with renowned academics and a multitude of course offerings that can provide a topnotch education, as well as a fulfilling college experience. I believe that transferring would allow me to not only benefit from a new environment, but contribute to it as well... (not done yet, I will add in a brief conclusion about how I will contribute to the school as well).

I am applying to reach schools, with SAT scores in the low to mid 600s, and a HS GPA of 3.4
After my first semester of college (which was a 3.33) I have gotten straight As since.
I am really trying to emphasize how much I have changed, and that I will continue getting straight As throughout my college career. I hope that they can take this into consideration and give me the benefit of the doubt.

Please help me out guys, I'm a huge underdog in this situation.